When I was little, I prayed for a bicycle. Then I realized that God works differently: I stole a bicycle and began to pray for forgiveness.
There is a type of loser who spends his entire life selling bicycles on the Venetian canals.
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– You know, they opened a dance hall nearby, 30 kilometers away. Maybe we can go by bike? We will turn the pedals one by one. Well, you want to, cool it!
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I hate the vulgarity of women's urban bourgeois life. It’s better to do laundry, cook, garden. I love bike rides, running around with dogs, the evening silence of a village house.
Best sayings about cycling
A Mercedes costs $40,000 and weighs 2 tons, which means 1 kg of a Mercedes costs $20. A sports bike costs $1,500 with a weight of 7 kg, the cost of 1 kg is $200. YOUR CONCLUSION
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If you didn’t have a bicycle as a child, and now you have a Bentley, then you still DIDN’T have a bicycle as a child.
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“Nothing beats the pleasure of a simple bike ride.” John Kennedy
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“Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I worry about the future of the human race.” H.G. Wells
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“When you feel discouraged, when the day seems dull, when work becomes monotonous, take a bike and ride it.” Arthur Conan Doyle.
I ride a bike. For me, this is mobile meditation. Robin Williams.
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Humor about cyclists - jokes, aphorisms50 kilometers on a bicycle in the heat in tight shorts - and you begin to understand in a completely different way the saying “patience and work will grind everything down.”
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— And my dad bought me a mountain bike! - And for me - a plain Mercedes!
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“I work in a sports store. The guy bought a bike and left happy. The next day I returned and, saying “the steering wheel is rubbing my hands,” I bought cycling gloves. The next day I came back with a blood-soaked bandage on my elbow and bought some elbow protection. Two days later he came with a limp and bought shin protection. It’s taking a long time for someone to get the helmet, I’m worried...”
Advertisement in the newspaper: “For sale are three bicycles, a helmet, cycling shorts, a cycling jersey, cycling shoes and 20 kg of various cycling crap. Call after 18-00. If a man answers you, tell him you have the wrong number.”
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rides down the mountain. Equipment, glasses, all the bells and whistles on the bike. It flies at breakneck speed, loses control, flies, and falls. He hits a lift pole, breaks the frame, wheels in different directions, teeth are knocked out, legs are broken and smiling from ear to ear: “eh... fuck... it’s still better than working!”
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I take it with both hands, put it between my legs, sweat for five minutes, and then go crazy (bicycle)
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A little boy rides a bicycle. He shouts to his mother out the window: “Mom, look, I’m driving without hands!” Turns the corner. A minute later he turns around and shouts again: “Mom, look, I’m driving as fast as I can!”
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- Mr. Holmes, how did you know that I am a cyclist? —You have strong legs, narrow hips, tenacious fingers, your intonation suggests that you often experience orgasm. But most importantly, you showed up in my office on a bicycle.
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talking after a long ride in inclement weather: - Eh! Now let's go to the fire - Aha! Yes, some seagull! - And into a warm sleeping bag - Yes, with the girl, both having come to their senses - But just so that she doesn’t pester.
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P rose of life. Trying to meet a girl on a bicycle on the go: - Girl, what a graceful riding technique you have. - What, what technology?!
And now the news: A cyclist ran into a KAMAZ; after hitting the KamAZ, the cyclist fled in an unknown direction
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is asked what the difference is between a cyclist and a chicken. Armenian radio thought for a week and said we know what the difference is: the chicken first sits down, and then lays eggs, and the cyclist first lays eggs, and then sits down.
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E child is a black man on a bicycle. A white girl stops him: “Sorry, I’m completely late. Will you give me a ride 5 blocks on your bicycle? “Well, the black man put her on the frame and is taking her. After three blocks he stopped and said: “Get off, I’m tired, I can’t hold you any longer.” The girl begs him: “Don’t hold me, I can hold on myself.” “No.” The black man is leaving. The girl looks, and it turns out he’s riding a woman’s bike.
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— Mom, the doctor said that I have the ability to cycle from birth. - Yes, and how does it manifest itself? “My bones heal quickly.”
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R advertising. Brake pads for your bicycles! From the manufacturer! Do not miss! Made in Estonia.
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I'm driving a car, all pedestrians are assholes. I’m walking, all the drivers are goats. I'm riding a bicycle - they're all assholes!
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When Jennifer Lopez rides a bicycle, it seems to those around her that she is not wearing a saddle.
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And today I’m walking through the park, I’m walking, I see a cyclist riding and a child runs out in front of him, dodging the child, the cyclist runs into the curb and, flying off the bike, with a joyful exclamation of “hello asphalt!” falls flat on this very asphalt))) then gets up and shakes himself off with displeasure and adds “long time no see”
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Cyclists are a real disaster for the economy. He does not buy a car and does not take out a car loan against it. Doesn't buy gasoline. Does not use the services of repair shops and car washes. Does not insure “civil liability”. Does not use paid parking. Is not obese. And healthy too, damn it! Healthy people are not needed for the economy. They don't buy medicine. They don't go to private doctors. They do not increase the country's GDP.
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is walking late at night in the open air. He: - Masha, do you see that star over there? She: - I see. He: - It's me! And that one over there? She: - I see. He: - It's you. Do you see that little star on the other star? She (perking up and moving closer to him): - Yes, honey!!! He: - And this is me on a BIKE!
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Proverbs and sayings: In the heat or rain: “It was running down your back, it got into your diaper” At a certain speed, even a tailwind becomes a headwind Consequence: if the wind is tail, you are driving in the wrong direction, or you are driving too slowly If it blows from all sides at the same time - you fall into the abyss No matter where you are going - it's uphill and against the wind The oncoming lane is always better A red light is a well-ripened green! Bicycle gait The further into the forest, the fewer spokes!
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A four-year-old toddler carefully watches how his mother keeps in shape on an exercise bike and says: “Mom, I know what you should get for your birthday.” - And what is it? - the mother smiled. — Wheels for your bicycle, otherwise you won’t get that far.
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is big, but there is nowhere to put a bike.
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— Why do cyclists get injured so often? - Because they drive on the roads of the past in the cars of the future - and at real speed!
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An explanatory note from the sobering-up center: “It all started when we bought our son a bicycle. First we washed it... then we drank it..."
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A cyclist is a “moonshiner”
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Someone stood in a traffic jam and doesn’t laugh at the bicycle.
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At the meeting: - The quarterly plan to fine drunk cyclists has been thwarted! In 3 months, instead of the planned three thousand, only one drunk cyclist was fined! This is a blow to the budget! — It’s winter, it’s February, we’re in Murmansk...
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— Why do cyclists go so fast in the race? - Because they drink and drink for more than three hours during the race, and they are only allowed to pee at the finish line.
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And child registration of newborns. The receptionist asks the mother: “Who is the baby’s daddy?” — Vasya Chmyr from Sosnovka. - Oh my God! - says the receptionist. - Vasya Chmyr again! Today you are already the seventh woman who registers a child from Vasya Chmyr! Just look at: Mashenka Chmyr from Antonovka, Fedenka Chmyr from Reshetilovka, Simochka Chmyr from Pokatilovka... - What surprises you so much? He has a bicycle!
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A cyclist with two bags through the trunk approaches the border. - What's in the bags? - the customs officer asks him. “Beer bottles,” he answers. - Show me. Indeed - beer bottles. This is how week after week goes by. One day a customs officer meets a cyclist in a pub: “Admit what kind of contraband you are smuggling, what does it consist of?” - From bicycles...
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The daughter announces to her mother that she has been proposed to and is going to get married. The mother says: “Just look, before the wedding with him, no, no!” Do not even think about it! It’s like, you know, if you were given a bicycle for New Year, but you have to wait until summer to ride it. Understood? — I understand about the bicycle. But can you at least use the pump for now?!
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A Mercedes costs $40,000 and weighs 2 tons, which means that 1 kg of a Mercedes costs $20. A sports bike costs $1,500 with a weight of 7 kg, the cost of 1 kg is $200. Conclusion - a bicycle is 10 times more expensive than a Merc!
People falling off bicycles - VIDEO
Cartoons about Sports and athletes
The best jokes about Football and football fans
Aphorisms about bicycles
When I’m driving I hate pedestrians, when I’m not driving I hate drivers, and when I’m on a bike I hate everyone! &
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Family at the dacha, son riding a bicycle. Mom, look, I'm driving without hands! He drives around the corner and hears a crash. Mom, look, I'm driving ahead of my teeth.
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- On your own, for yourself, the invented bicycle rides faster and more comfortably.
- Having subjected life to a steep arbitrage, but in the end having not learned the truth, I invite you to a sale of the bicycles I invented.
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Odessa Radio was asked the question: “What can be done to prevent the fur from coming out on the boa?” “We don’t know what a boa is, but just in case, we advise you to ride your bike less.”
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` An angel rides along the road on his bicycle, quietly ringing a bell, smiling from ear to ear. He has a piece of antique copper in his pocket, and a string bag of unexpected things hangs on the steering wheel:
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The tail of good luck, the taste of victory, a pass to childhood, a door to happiness, a sea of joy and laughter, a guiding star, a brilliant idea, inspiration, the key to the heart, great health and a cherished dream.
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The angel listens to prayers and hurries to hand out gifts. He is, of course, winged, but faster on a bike. Along avenues, alleys show full text
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Today I fell off my bike. Would you say it's okay? No. Scary. It's scary to fall off a bike in front of your grandson. What will he think of me?
So, you sit there and don’t know that today is bicycle day. I didn’t even celebrate (((What a holiday I missed
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Oh people, hold on! I was carried away somewhere, I haven’t sat down for a hundred years, but then I wanted to, I can’t breathe. If only it weren’t so shaking on the road (but where are the roads, there are only potholes and bumps all around).
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But the wind is in my ears! Although the iron horse creaks (it was standing idle), both the steering wheel and pedals are obedient, And you can rush off to where the ray of sun is burning, Where unknown blue distances await behind the mountain.
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Movement is life, and it doesn’t matter that a bicycle is not as fast as a “cool car,” but still, Whenever a couple of us rolled into a ditch, then everything would turn out just as it should.
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I rejoice when there comes a time in life when it’s hard. Because this is a rise and I am getting stronger.
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“Dad gave me a bicycle!” I saw delight in my daughter’s eyes. “Now I can organize a race! Along the street from bump to bump"
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The baby laughed joyfully, and everything was childishly frank. And I stood watching and the Gates of the past opened for me gradually
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I suddenly imagined my childhood, my toys, my first scooter, I remember my delight as if it were an inheritance, I got an ATM filled to the brim
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How I wanted a bike then! I was ready to do everything to ride I dreamed about it, it seemed like I was a hundred years old and I thought this would never happen
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And my daughter rode and rode, turning the pedals, sparing no effort. Now she slowed down, now she accelerated, and her gaze was mischievous and sweet
Aphorisms about bicycles
“She who manages to master the skill of riding a bicycle masters the skill of life.”
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“When I see a grown man on a bicycle, I don’t feel despair for the future of the human race.”
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“A bicycle is like good company, because when most husbands get old and worn out, a woman can command it and have new experiences without shocking the public.”
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“Life is like riding a bike—to keep your balance, you have to keep moving.”
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“Some people don't keep cycling under control. It's cycling that controls them. You reach a point where you say, “Oh my God, I am the motor for my bike. I'm no longer human."
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“The bicycle has a soul. If you manage to love him, he gives you emotions that you will never forget."
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“Race as much or as little, as long or as short as you feel. But race.”
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“Victory is victory. Only you can win normally, or you can win in style.”
Humor about cyclists - jokes and aphorisms. Quotes from prominent people about bicycles and cycling
Jack London:
“Bike always? Now this is one of the things that fills your life with meaning! I exercise this way every day. Ah, just grab the handlebars of your bicycle, lean on it, and race headlong through streets and roads, over railroad tracks and bridges, cutting through crowds, avoiding collisions, at twenty miles an hour or more, and imagine all the while how suddenly you will fall with a crash. Well, that's something! And then you come home again, after a three-hour drive, to the bathroom, have a good rub, then go down to dinner in a soft shirt, with the evening paper and a glass of wine in perspective - and then you think, tomorrow I can do all this again!
Popular Science edition, 1891:
“There is something mysterious about the silent approach of a cyclist as he comes into view, rushes past and disappears.”
Susan B. Anthony:
“Let me tell you what I think about the bike. I think he has done more for women's liberation than anything else in the world. It gives women a sense of freedom and independence. I stand and rejoice every time I see a woman on wheels driving by... it’s a picture of freedom, of femininity without obstacles.”
Francis E. Willard, author of How I Learned to Ride a Bicycle:
“She who manages to master the skill of riding a bicycle masters the skill of life.”
G. Wells:
“When I see a grown man on a bicycle, I don’t feel despair for the future of the human race.”
Ann Strong, Minneapolis Tribune, 1895:
“A bicycle is like good company, because when most husbands get old and worn out, a woman can command it and have new experiences without shocking the public.”
Mark Twain:
“Take up cycling. You will not regret it. If you live."
Albert Einstein:
“Life is like riding a bike—to keep your balance, you have to keep moving.”
Iris Murdoch:
“The bicycle is the most civilized means of transportation known to man. Other modes of transport are becoming more nightmarish every day. Only the bicycle remains pure at heart.”
Lord Charles Beresford:
“He who invented the bicycle deserves the gratitude of mankind.”
Ernest Hemingway:
“Cycling is how you get to know the contours of the country better, as you get up and down hillsides. You remember what they really are like, whereas in a car you are only impressed by the height of the hill, and you have a less accurate memory of the country than you get by cycling around it.”
Christopher Morley:
“The bicycle must certainly always be an inspiration for writers and poets.”
Best sayings about cycling
“Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I worry about the future of the human race.”
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“Life is like a 10-speed bicycle. Most of us don't use all the gears." Charles Schultz. American comics creator.
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“Those who want to control their lives and go beyond simply existing as clients and consumers should ride a bicycle.”
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“Nothing has done more for the emancipation of women than such an invention as the bicycle. It gives women freedom and self-confidence. I am happy every time I see a woman on a bicycle.”
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“Tens of thousands of people who could not afford to have a horse for transportation, switched to a bicycle with this amazing invention.”
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Francis Willard. American public figure. The first woman to head an educational institution in the United States.
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“When you feel discouraged, when the day seems dull, when work becomes monotonous, take a bike and ride it.”
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“Life is like riding a bicycle. In order to maintain balance, you must move."
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Women on bicycles in the Victorian era. In the Victorian era, when women began to master the bicycle, attitudes towards this phenomenon were very diverse. From surprise and admiration to hostility
Affectionate and two-wheeled beast
For many, even imagining their childhood without a bicycle is unbearable. And some did not get rid of them even in adulthood! Cool statuses about bicycles that we love so much.
- If you didn’t have a bicycle as a child, then you didn’t smell life!
- It's good to have a bike. But when there is air conditioning in the car - even better!
- You need to throw away old things slowly, tastefully, and prolong the pleasure.
- Well, you know, as they say, the deeper you go into the forest, the fewer spokes there are left!
- Have you noticed that lone cyclists do not attract attention, but when they move in a group, they are sure to attract all eyes?
- Journalism is a field of activity in which they cannot see the difference between a broken bicycle and the decline of civilization...
- Don't ride your bike in a bad mood! Better go and cheer yourself up!
- You will never regret buying a bike... if you survive, of course.
- If suddenly you didn’t have a bicycle as a child, and now you bought yourself a cool car, then you still didn’t have a bicycle!
- Children must have a dad! Or at least buy him a bike...
- Childhood is a period in life when a cheap bicycle seems like something you will never have again...
- Since childhood, I prayed to God to give me a bicycle. Then I grew up... and began to pray to God to forgive me for stealing my bicycle.
- A good bicycle has a dozen gears, but no one uses them fully. Doesn't remind you of anything?
- The worst thing on a bike is getting into a tasty dog poop!
- Computers have replaced bicycles for the modern generation... sad.
