Jokes about school and teachers
School jokes are short stories that are often told about teachers. They ridicule the vices and shortcomings of teachers and reveal the facets of their extracurricular life. But overwhelmingly, such jokes show that teachers are ordinary people who have their own worries, anxieties, doubts and phobias.
Here are the funniest jokes about school and teachers:
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“Mom, why at the ceremony all the girls were wearing huge beautiful bows, daring miniskirts and white knee socks, and I was again in this strict brown suit below the knees and with a stupid bun on my head?
When you're not ready for class
Funny school quotes are the best way to show that you calmly accept small defeats and are determined to overcome any challenges prepared by your teacher with dignity!
- Sometimes I feel like I literally forget my head at home!
- Let me get a bad grade today. Give me time, and I will definitely be able to double my result. Or at least increase it by one and a half times!
- When you go to the board and are not ready to answer, you understand how important improvisation is in life. But my improvisations are not yet particularly appreciated by the audience.
- Exact sciences are not my thing. At heart I am a free artist. But an artist does not need to learn boring material.
- Yes, I lost the battle. But I didn't lose the war. Maybe I can still write the Unified State Exam!
- Perhaps being a janitor isn't so bad.
- It’s not bad when you get a bad grade. It’s bad when I did it on the eve of a parent-teacher meeting.
- Our teacher can safely go to the battle of psychics. I don’t understand how, without paranormal abilities, you can determine who exactly was not prepared to answer. After all, he is never wrong!
- When my parents find out that I received another bad grade, I understand: in this way, life is simply preparing me for the difficult challenges of adult life.
- Any rating can be corrected. My self-esteem, which suffered because of the teacher's gaze, cannot be corrected!
- So what, it's a deuce. No one was hurt. Only my pride was damaged.
Quotes about classmates with meaning (130 quotes)
We all went to school and lived through these wonderful young years. School is remembered with special warmth and with a special bright flash for every person. During our school years, we first begin to meet each other, experience new feelings and emotions, and learn about adult life. And of course, we spend this period of time with our classmates. We make friends, communicate, and years later we meet at alumni reunions. These people are especially valuable and dear.
Classmates are your closest friends, with whom it will be difficult to part!
Still, some people surprise me. It seems to be much more stupid, but they somehow manage...
Money can buy any dog - but not the wagging of its tail.
In order not to look like a loser at a meeting of classmates, having not received an education and not finding a job, take a photo of your child to the meeting. Angels and little bees rule.
I'm like a button. I'm having fun all the time!
You have two options: either I marry you, or you marry me!
People don't get what they deserve, but just whatever happens. And nothing can be done about it.
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth! - Vovochka said and gave Marya Ivanovna a bad mark for her photos on Odnoklassniki.
To live with wolves is to be a wolf.
But there are no chance meetings... This is either a test... or a punishment... or a gift of fate.
True passion thinks only of itself, which may be why it is so absurd.
People!!! Where do you have so many friends and classmates? Did you finish school in China?
If a butterfly lands on your palm, don’t squeeze it, it won’t fly away...
I inspired my love into myself, but it crushed my consciousness... took my heart to pieces... I felt very, very sad...
When you give yourself completely, they begin to look at you as if you were empty...
Many people only reach the finish line of life and notice that they were running in the wrong direction.
Classmates are people who recognize each other only by their status above a photo.
There are many hands and eyes behind you, but only your face is most precious... We love only once in this life, and after that we look for people like him...
Today's people would like to buy tomorrow's life at yesterday's prices.
Attention promotion!!! Come visit 3 times for no reason and become a participant in the “Black List” competition.
No one will ever help you, you must achieve everything yourself.
Don't let the noise of other people's opinions drown out your inner voice.
The situation when previously unavailable school “beauties” offer you friendship on Odnoklassniki reminds me of an advertisement for a second-hand store. Someone has already worn these out-of-fashion items.
The crisis has reached me too... I eat blue cheese, drink old wine, and drive in a car without a roof.
Being with a person after he cheated is like drinking from a dirty cup. It seems suitable for use, but drinking from it is disgusting.
Someone will remember the last line with the director, someone will remember dancing in a restaurant with teachers. Someone will remember the dawn in the circle of former classmates. But there will also be those who won’t remember a damn thing!!
Whoever gossips with you gossips about you.
Spring broke me, but summer healed me... and golden autumn gave me a ring. In winter, the warmth of your palms will warm me. There will be no bad days, there will be plenty of good ones.
My classmates made me happy, they walked along the corridor singing: Fool, fool, take us idiots.
You can hear so many interesting things if you remain silent more often.
Have you ever felt like you were missing someone you've never met?
If the past does not matter, then why organize meetings between classmates and fellow students?
Loneliness is when those you love are happy without you...
My heart beats only for those who know how to listen to it. I have no heart for the rest...
If opponent classmates become friends, and harmful teachers become kind, understanding advisers, then graduation is just around the corner.
When I see the “I’m leaving” status in Odnoklassniki, I just want to immediately click “class”
A bad joke makes a joker's jaw hurt.
Everything will come when it should come. There is no need to rush things.
Classmates are those people who remember you as a little girl in colored tights, without makeup and with pigtails.
If a girl has sparkles in her eyes, it means the cockroaches in her head are celebrating something.
To hell with rose-colored glasses - they don’t suit me, to hell with the past - it prevents me from being happy in the present... To hell with everything that happened - I’m happy!
We would have more friends if the page said not: “Perhaps you know each other?”, but: “Perhaps you drank together?”
Do you want to look death in the eye?! hurt me and I’ll introduce you to you sooner than you want..!
On the personal front, it’s like at a banquet: I don’t take what they offer, what I want is far from me. You have to pretend that you are not hungry.
Shortly before the first of September I always worry. And I want and inject. After all, again essays, tests, homework. But there are also loved ones: classmates, lessons, teachers. And yet it’s a holiday! Hooray!
You can’t even imagine how wonderful everyone will get along without each of us. I don't have everything I love, but I love everything I have.
New diet. When you register with Odnoklassniki, you forget about food.
Everyone sees what you seem like, few feel what you are...
It may sound stupid, but it is stupid things that are remembered best.
6 years ago, a former classmate said that I was a stupid fool. With every scholarship I buy apples from her at the market.
A real woman should be a queen in society, a mistress in the kitchen and a bitch in bed...
Before you leave, think about whether you are needed where you are going...
I met a classmate in the supermarket. He came with diapers for the second child, and I tried not to step on the seams between the tiles.
Wife to husband: - We need to talk to you seriously... - You can start, I’ll be back soon.
Fashion gives you the opportunity to stand out from the crowd without leaving it. High fashion, on the other hand, allows you to rid yourself of the “prose of existence” and isolate yourself in a circle of your own kind, where no one will ever say out loud that your outfit, makeup and hairstyle would decorate the interior of any garden.
If you sit on the Internet for a very long time, you can hear screams in the silence. These are your classmates giving birth to another child.
Oh, if only you could learn from mistakes in absentia...
Those who don't expect anything will never be disappointed.
I just turn on the computer, go to Odnoklassniki, and that’s it... the end of my grandiose plans for the day.
Anyone who does not understand your silence is unlikely to understand your words...
Yes, I have a complex character..., but everyone chooses for themselves whether to have a kitten or tame a lioness...
You run into the classroom after the bell rings, your classmates stand up, thinking it’s the teacher. Yes, pathetic slaves, wait, the empress has entered.
I’m not looking for anyone, I don’t regret anyone, I don’t love anyone, I don’t suffer, I don’t believe... I don’t call anyone, I don’t forgive anyone, I don’t owe anyone - so I don’t promise...
There are so many opportunities to express your hatred, it’s just dizzying.
A month ago I registered my mother in Odnoklassniki, I had to buy her a couple of new pots and a kettle.
She is not tied to anything, she is not obliged to anyone, she is not suitable for anything... That is why she is FREE!!!!!!!!!!
A child should be proud. A wife with dignity. My husband is my support. Friends are true. Extra money. Good health. And life is wonderful!
Look how cute your classmates are in the photo. It is still difficult to guess which of them will become a doctor, who will become a teacher, who will become a prostitute, who will become a drunkard, who will become a drug addict. Dear children.
Take a closer look at those around you. Are they with you? Or just nearby.
Some, unable to grasp the immensity, try to spit on everything within their reach.
School reunion: a get-together where you discover that almost all of your classmates look a little older than you.
We don't appreciate what we have. we value what we don't have. and overestimate what we will never have.
We are responsible for those we have tamed, but it is not necessary to stand on ceremony with those who pretended to be tamed in order to tame us...
A reunion of school friends: a few old faces and a lot of new teeth.
When the question “HOW ARE YOU?” I answer everything is fine, I really want to hear in response “tell the truth”
Both at the birth and at the end of love, people always experience confusion when left alone with each other.
You are truly famous if two hundred classmates remember you warmly.
People! Value life, value peacetime, value your parents. No one will help you except your family, and you will understand this when you feel the loss and feel that now no one needs you...
Don't blame the wine, blame the drunkenness!
A meeting of school friends can be considered a success if you are convinced that all your classmates have more problems than you.
There is no love without pain... the bunny thought and hugged the hedgehog.
Me? Forget? This is what form of sclerosis you have to have!
Real happiness: going to a meeting of school friends and finding out that the classmate who was predicted to have the most brilliant future turned out to be the biggest loser.
Only one person does not write, but it seems the whole world is silent.
It's hard to take the right step when you've burned the bridge you're about to cross.
At a school reunion, nothing is more annoying than an ex-classmate who has both money and hair.
Dreams come true - you just need to stop wanting.
When you meet a new friend, don't forget about the old one. When you see a beautiful girl, do not forget about your beloved.
A woman never feels so old as when she meets a bald man who studied at the same school with her and was two grades younger.
We don’t find anything to write and put emoticons, we are afraid to say it and put virtual hearts… This is a world where a person can be deleted by simply pressing Delete….
Everyone has them - comfortable lounge pants that are embarrassing to go to the store in.
My classmates became so fat and bald that they didn’t even recognize me at the anniversary meeting.
Don't bring out the bitch in me, she can't get enough sleep anyway!!!!!
I'm not actually a religious person, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!
A very interesting site “Odnoklassniki” - they don’t say hello on the street, but ask to be friends!!!
What's on a sober person's mind... is what's on a drunken person's outgoing...
One hundred friends are evidence of good nature. One hundred enemies are evidence of success.
If you win a zillion rubles, even your cousins’ classmates will ring the doorbell.
- Damn, Roma left me... - Well, to hell with him! - That’s the whole point.
At one point, I absolutely didn’t care what other people thought - and life became easier.
My husband went to meet his classmates. I am waiting. I prepared: a song about school, a selection of his school photos, aspirin, beer, a frying pan...
If a person cannot say anything good about himself, but wants to say something, he begins to say bad things about others.
Sometimes you have to shut up to be listened to.
Meetings with classmates: first you want to look good, then - to be recognized, then - as long as everyone is alive...
After the third glass of wine, it begins to seem that your ex is really waiting for your call.
If a classmate can be recognized on the street 10 years after graduating from school, it means she is single!
A man should be like expensive cognac - inaccessible and unsuitable for everyone. Only a few people should know its strength and taste, but if many people know its taste, then it is no longer cognac - it is draft beer!
The past should remain the past... there is no need to return to it... and if your heart remains in the past, then move on without it...
Classmates are those people who remember you as a little girl in colored tights, without makeup and with pigtails!
Evil enemies don't bother us the same way as cunning friends do!
If you don't use people, they think you're an idiot and start using you.
People! Do not betray those who drown in your eyes and are ready to give their lives for them.
Everyone goes crazy in their own way... Someone chokes on tears in hysterics... And someone like me - silently, keeping everything to himself and not showing it, slowly crumbles into pieces from the inside.
A married man is like a learned cat: “He goes to the left and starts a song, and to the right he tells a fairy tale.”
How tired of this Internet and contact! If they were suddenly gone, life would become much simpler and more varied. Even if this post gets 10,500 likes, no one will try to change their fate.
A true gentleman will always let a lady go ahead to see what she looks like from behind.
Every gesture of yours is joyful and sweet to me... I am simply melting from the love that I have experienced for you... you are the one I have been looking for for so long... wandering through life on thorny paths... until I realized - you are the best in the world!
Life is a tricky thing! As soon as you collect all the trump cards from the deck, she will decide to play chess with you.
Smart people learn from the mistakes of others, fools from their own, idiots learn nothing.
No one can heal the scars left by loved ones. They knew where they were hitting...
Life is one continuous paradox. Before 30, you strive to show that you are already an adult, and after 30, you are young.
How difficult it is to find - losing is not a problem, how difficult it is to understand - where is love and where is the scheme... to love and suffer... and to hate in your face... how difficult it is to forgive... how easy it is to offend...
I love him and believe that he is forever. Just like with the previous fifteen...
Best status: All life is a theater, and we are the actors in it, only spectators in heaven.
Oh, these women, you can’t live with them, and it’s a shame to shoot them.
Life itself means nothing until there is a person trying to interpret its phenomena.
It's terrible when you go to bed and have to come up with a reason to wake up.
