Statuses about maternity leave

Girls, do not believe the phrase “SIT” while on maternity leave.
In it they wash, wash, clean, cook, feed, play, draw, sing, read, sculpt, teach, put to sleep, catch up, hide, crawl on all fours, rock, calm - but just DO NOT SIT! Maternity leave, of course, leaves its mark on a woman’s brain... I have no idea what’s going on in the country, but I know that Luntik’s grandfather’s name is Shershulya...)))

Only mothers on maternity leave understand how nice it is to drink tea alone at 2 am!

At the interview: - Where did the last employee go? - Went on maternity leave! - It's dangerous here...

Maternity leave is the same job, only you carry the boss in your arms.

If you don't sleep at night, then you're either on maternity leave or on the Internet

A sign of a prolonged maternity leave is the understanding that you have forgotten how to walk in heels.))

The husband says: “You feel good, you’re at home all day.” Not like me with this job. The wife responded: “Darling, we’re all changing, you’re at home, I’m off to work.” On the way to work, a phone call from my husband: “Darling, I was joking, come home, I’d rather work 2 shifts than on maternity leave.”

Why are there only two of you in the choir, some on maternity leave, some on a drinking binge?

(T) Instead of writing decrees, Vladimir Ilyich should have sent Nadezhda Konstantinovna on maternity leave.

I'm on maternity leave and get 50 rubles. I don't spend, I save. I'll buy a fur coat for the New Year. FOR HERRING! &

Eh, it’s good to stay at home with a small child! Sometimes you get up at 7 in the morning, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, you go into the kitchen, pour hot, freshly brewed coffee and... drink it on a cold evening, when the birds are already sleeping and the moon is shining...

My husband gave me a trip to the resort: DECREE. Such an extensive program, you don’t even have time to sleep!

It's infuriating to be dumb-headed men who can't understand that it can be hard for a wife, even if she doesn't work and sits at home with the child! You come home from work, all businesslike, you have a hot dinner on a plate with a blue border, the apartment is clean, not a speck of dust, the child is clean, dry and fed, the linen is ironed and washed. But the wife DOESN’T MEET - tired, with a bun on her head, in a stretched T-shirt, without manicure or makeup, she also refuses to play the role of a sex goddess at night - and why are you cute, fuck, zan... ... show full text...

This year I dream of going on vacation. Maternity leave.

The best compliment to a young mother is that her daughter looks like you. And the best compliment from colleagues during maternity leave is to go to work as soon as possible!

I want to go on vacation so much that I’ll even agree to a maternity leave.

In the past, there were night shifts, a voice in the intercom, a siren... I know, I’ll come back to you, dear ones. I know, I will definitely come back.

It may not be soon, but we will maintain unity. I became related to the ambulance. Only now in motherhood...

And I'm not in a hurry to get my shift. And I'm not saving anyone. They are looking for a vein there without me... And they are treating something without me.

Nobody disturbs my sleep. My son is snoring nearby. And without me, somewhere, maybe, the Sobol with a flashing light is flying...

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Vacation Many people associate vacation with relaxation.

These words even sound similar, which is why we associate them.

For those who are looking for where and how to relax, we have also compiled a separate section in which we will talk about vacations in most countries of the world in different months. In addition, we will talk about the features of the visa regime for certain countries, and also provide a list of countries to which you can travel without a visa. For many, during a crisis, issues arise with the fact that employees are sent on unpaid leave. Many people, for a variety of reasons, want to take a vacation at their own expense.

We will also consider issues of such leave.

And of course, we will not forget about such issues as vacation pay.

Discussions PHRASES after sex. Aries. ok, here we go again! Taurus.

I am hungry! pass me the pizza! twins. Where's the TV remote control? Cancer. when will we get married? lion. wasn't I really magnificent? virgin. Let me see the sheets. libra: if you liked it, i liked it too. scorpio. Perhaps now we can untie you. Sagittarius. don’t call me, I’ll call myself. Capricorn. Do you have a business card? Aquarius. Now let's try without clothes!fish. so what do you say your name is?

A woman is always right.2. If the woman is wrong, see paragraph 1.3. There are never too many boots.4.

Bags too.5. Even more so underwear.6. Not to mention cosmetics.7. Women's logic exists.8. If you think it doesn't exist, see

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clause 1.9. Diamonds are the best investment.10.

Information Description: Express business dating - connecting the right people in one place and giving the opportunity to get the maximum number of contacts in a short time. WHO WE WANT TO SEE: - mothers and expectant mothers, - employers who are looking for online employees, and off-line work at home for mothers. Show in full... - leisure for mothers - training for mothers - psychologist for mothers - fitness and beauty for mothers - nutritionists for mothers and children - family photographers - nannies -.

advise us who else you would like to see. A modern mother, thanks to modern methods and technologies, can devote more time to her baby. Recently, the face of motherhood has changed a lot - women tend to focus only on the child during the period of caring for the baby.

Work for women on maternity leave includes many options - part-time work and full-time work remotely.

Statuses about maternity leave

A friend in need.. A hero in battle.. A wife in poverty.. A husband on maternity leave.

My husband gave me a ticket to the resort - 'DECREE'. Such an extensive program, there’s no time to even sleep. )))

DECREE is also work. Only the BOSS has to be carried in his arms.

Girls, don’t believe the phrase “SIT” while on maternity leave. They wash, wash, clean, cook, feed, play, draw, sing, read, sculpt, and do not sit in it.

Before the little child runs out of cookies, the mother must have time to wash herself, get dressed, eat and wash the dishes... The army is resting compared to maternity leave...)))))))

Maternity leave is also work! Only the boss is small! =)

WHO SAID THAT MATERNITY IS A VACATION?! Maternity leave means working two shifts, plus night duty!

It's great to be on maternity leave. Jumped up at 6 o'clock, fed, washed, played peek-a-boo, cooked dinner, fed, put to bed, washed, fed, played peek-a-boo, bought, put to bed, you can go and comb your hair...

Only mothers on maternity leave understand how nice it is to drink tea alone at 2 am!

My husband never lies! He promised to send me on vacation to rest and sent me... on vacation... on maternity leave... REST)

Maternity leave, of course, leaves its mark on a woman’s brain... I have no idea what’s going on in the country, but I know that Luntik’s grandmother’s name is Baba Kapa...

I asked my husband for a vacation... he sent me on maternity leave =)

Maternity leave is a wonderful time: all the unnecessary people who used to seem like friends leave your life, but now, like extra rubbish, thrown out of the apartment... At first it’s scary, but then you become more and more convinced that they were superfluous...

Positive all day

In any situation, especially during maternity leave, mothers should not lose composure and patience. A funny joke and statuses about maternity leave will help with this:

I really want to fall into postpartum depression - lie down, moan, mope. They don’t, especially my baby.
Yes, postpartum depression is the lot of a select few, apparently those who have nannies on hand.
Sometimes I get so tired on maternity leave that I want to go on non-maternity leave.
I catch myself thinking that I’m starting to hate Rapunzel, Luntik and even Winnie the Pooh.
Toys always scattered throughout the apartment force me to do exercises several times a day.
You should treat maternity leave as heaven on earth - the child is healthy, fed, clean, the floors are washed, the dishes too, there is no dust, there were walks, it’s okay that you have a pile on your head and forgot to wash - but everything is shiny, and everyone is happy.
Only on maternity leave can you check on your friends: those who are constantly busy are crossed off the list.
Of all my friends, only my mother helped me during maternity leave.
When I ask my husband to take a walk with the child on his day off, he playfully replies: “It’s so wonderful to go out with a stroller and get some fresh air!” It’s okay that I experience these “beauties” 2-3 times a day, and besides, I cook them. I wash, wash, sew, iron, play, cook again, wash again, iron again, feed again...
On his days off, a good husband lets you sleep, go to the hairdresser, and even visit his girlfriends. The bad guy gives it all to himself.
The first month of maternity leave I was so happy - freedom! I got up, fed, changed diapers, hooted - and that’s it, the baby sleeps for 3-4 hours, and I’m a queen. Now the prince is my son.
Soon to kindergarten! I didn’t think I’d be so happy about the end of my vacation.
Five minutes on Odnoklassniki costs a mother 3 hours of general cleaning.
I only got on the computer for 5 minutes. Where did the torn, shredded curtains, the gutted pillow, the brilliant green spilled on the floor, the scattered flour come from? Poltergeist? No, this is my inquisitive baby.
After today’s “Mamaev’s massacre” I made a conclusion for myself - to log into the computer only when he is already asleep.
Maternity leave is joy and sadness, a storm of emotions and passions, eternal movement and bustle, and the vacationer is a multi-armed polynomial.

Cool statuses about maternity leave

Cool statuses about maternity leave

That's it for now. I got knocked up. I'll be there in three years.

It 's great to be on maternity leave. Jumped up at 6 o'clock, fed, washed, played peek-a-boo, cooked dinner, fed, put to bed, washed, fed, played peek-a-boo, bought, put to bed, you can go and comb your hair...

Every woman must sometimes go on maternity leave. self-care!

Maternity leave, of course, leaves its mark on a woman’s brain... I have no idea what’s going on in the country, but I know that Luntik’s grandmother’s name is Baba Kapa...

A friend is known in trouble.. A hero in battle.. A wife in poverty.. A husband on maternity leave.

Maternity leave is a time when going to the store is perceived as going out, and going to the hairdresser is actually a business trip!

With the birth of a child, a woman develops superhuman abilities - to see in the dark. hear through sleep. walk silently and not sleep for days.

At the interview: - Where did the last employee go? - Went on maternity leave! - It's dangerous here...

WHO SAID THAT MATERNITY IS A VACATION?! Maternity leave means working two shifts, plus night duty!

After weaning the baby, she drank coffee not because she really wanted to, but because she could.

Everything will happen soon

Expecting a baby is a wonderful time for any expectant mother. She gets ready and imagines what her daughter or son will be like, buys clothes for him and chooses a stroller and crib. All thoughts are aimed only at ensuring that the child is born as soon as possible - healthy, strong, and the birth takes place without complications. Statuses about maternity leave can be a little agitated, but always positive:

You live in me - every day I feel how cramped you are.
I'm so waiting for you, my baby, you are the best thing that could happen to me.
I seize every moment and listen to you - we will meet soon.
I only saw you in the ultrasound photo, I’m looking forward to your appearance.
When you press your heel into my stomach, you signal that it’s time.
My little one lives inside me, it’s just a miracle!
We walk together for hours, during walks my baby is always calm and doesn’t kick.
I remember every moment until you were born, but already with me.

Laughing statuses about maternity leave

My husband gave me a ticket to the resort - 'DECREE'. Such an extensive program, there’s no time to even sleep.

Before the little child runs out of cookies, the mother must have time to wash herself, get dressed, eat and wash the dishes... The army is resting compared to maternity leave...

Still, those men whose spouse is on maternity leave are lucky: the floors are washed, the linen is ironed, the first, second, third and compote are ALWAYS ready... And even the wife has breasts like Pamela Anderson without any expenses!

The process of decorating a Christmas tree in a house where there is a two-year-old child is almost endless.

You are bored... You have nothing to do... Give birth... and everything will pass.

If you don't sleep at night, then you're either on maternity leave or on the Internet

Only mothers on maternity leave understand how nice it is to drink tea alone at 2 am!

The child is sleeping and... the mother is free. If you want, wash, if you want, clean, if you want to steam at the stove. Rest... I don't want to!

And yet I am a witch! While my baby is sleeping, which is 2-2.5 hours, I have time to: walk down the street with him, cook something to eat, clean the house, chat on Odnoklassniki, sit on ZhM, drink tea, watch TV... Well, aren’t I a sorceress!

DECREE is also work. Only the BOSS has to be carried in his arms.

All that's left to do is laugh

When fatigue is already overwhelming all emotions, mommy can sit down for 5 minutes and relax, setting funny statuses about maternity leave. After all, only humor and positivity can relieve chronic fatigue, lack of sleep and overwork:

The first two months are difficult, then you realize that they were the easiest.
This morning I saw myself in the mirror - I was scared, I thought my mother-in-law had arrived.
Previously, laws were called decree, now they are full-length fun.
I learned to sleep for 3 hours, hear a child’s breathing in his sleep, predict his mood, accurately find pacifiers and bottles in the dark - maybe I’m becoming a psychic?..
I began to understand those mothers who dream of working while on maternity leave.
Running in circles while on maternity leave is comparable to a marathon - there are no stops, you can only drink water as you go.
Now I remember with nostalgia those years when I was bored.
I began to enjoy the baby’s sleep - only in these minutes can I make coffee for myself and drink it calmly.
While on maternity leave I had to buy new shoes - all without heels - why do I need them?
Yes, I immediately forget my lack of sleep and fatigue as soon as the child begins to smile at me and holds out his arms.
I’m ready to stay up for three more nights for his smile.
"On holiday?" – the neighbors sitting on the bench asked me. I wanted to answer: “On hellotvacation!” But she smiled sweetly and said: “Yes, in relative terms.”
If it weren’t for my mother and her daily walks with the stroller for 2 hours, I would have gone wild and turned into an animal.
What's it like to be on maternity leave? I can’t sit down for a minute at all.
My best time is at 10:30 pm – the baby is sleeping, my husband is still at work. I'm alone!
After a friend asked on the phone: “Well, how are you doing, is it fun?” – I always invite her to have fun together. Never came. Although there was no need to call before.