Why is it so difficult to make the right choice?
Here are the most common reasons we encounter:
- Opinion of society (parents, relatives, friends, etc.)
- Imposed patterns and stereotypes
- Restrictions
- Not trusting yourself
- Previous bad decisions
- Fears
- Ignorance of your true desires and needs
Now let's take a closer look. I would like to note that almost all the reasons are interconnected. Now you will see this.
Lack of self-confidence
Often people grow up on these patterns and prohibitions. Parents decide everything for them. Such a child will not be able to make the right choice.
Perhaps the attitudes affect you too. On the one hand, I want to listen to my parents’ opinion and do the right thing. On the other hand, you understand that this is not your path. But you are hesitant to take responsibility. Because we didn't try. It's time to try.
You are required to make your own decisions. So that later you don’t start to hate those who were puppeteers and made wrong decisions for you. You may make mistakes, but they will be your mistakes. In your life. If others make decisions for you, you are not living your life, but theirs. Free them from such a burden and take the reins of power into your own hands.
The importance of choice: you choose what your life will be like
Reading Time: 3 min.
I call heaven and earth as witnesses before you today: I have offered you life and death, blessing and curse. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live. Deuteronomy 30:19
Our whole life is an indicator of our choice. Every day we make a choice. We choose what time we wake up. We choose whether to exercise or not. We choose what job we go to and what we do. All our actions come from the choices we make every day.
Subsequently, the standard of living and happiness reflects the correctness of our choice. If we make the wrong choice, our life goes downhill. We begin to blame everything and everyone around us. Wrong time, wrong place, born under the wrong star.
However, if you look around, it turns out that exactly the same person as myself has achieved high results and enjoys life. Why did this happen? He just made the right choice. When you were watching TV, he was reading books. When he was on social networks, he practiced his skills. When you whined and complained about your job, he retrained and took up a job that began to bring him pleasure.
There are choices that reduce your standard of living, and there are choices that lead to success.
It's like a ladder that takes us either up or down. Most people make the wrong choices. By refusing decisive action and staying in an imaginary comfort zone, we make a choice towards failure. Every second of our time gives us a new opportunity. And how we use this time will prove to be an indicator of our future.
There is one very accurate definition of crazy: “A person who does the same things and tries to get different results!” From this we can draw a very simple conclusion. Look at those people who in the past did what you are doing now. If the result of their life does not suit you, then you need to change something.
Look at retirees in your profession. Do you want to live the way they live? Is this the “happy future” you want to achieve? If you think that things will be different for you, then ask yourself: “Am I crazy?”
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Thousands of people go through the same path and get the same result. However, each of them always wanted the best. Don't repeat their mistake. No matter what situation you are in, you always have a choice. Neither gender, nor age, nor social class matter. Even physical attributes fade into the background when you make the right decision.
Don't let other people's opinions lead you astray. Don't trust anyone if they tell you that you need to live like everyone else and that you won't succeed. The majority always loses. Become an individual. Start making the right choices. Start asking yourself the question: “Is what I am doing now leading me to success or to failure?”
Every free minute, make a choice towards success. Make a to-do list for different periods of time that will move you to the height of happiness. Use the time you have available effectively. Please remember that the amount of the fee may vary. It is better to spend time and effort now for a better result than to regret and suffer from unused opportunities in the future.
Although it's never too late to start. However, the sooner you take the right course, the happier and more fulfilling life you will live.
Exercise
- Make a list of different things that you can do in any situation. For example: read, practice skills, study.
- Learn to ask yourself the question: “Is what I am doing now leading me to success or to failure?” If you doubt the correct answer, look at the results of others.
Fears
Making the right choice is scary. But fears must be overcome. There are two ways: either your fears will control you, or you will control your fears. When making decisions, let go of all your worries. There are also tips on how to make a choice:
- Balance the risks.
- Consult experienced people. Don't shift responsibility to others, but ask for advice. It's always good to hear what others think. This will help you understand whether you agree with the person, whether you want it.
- Think about whether most people feel the same way in a similar situation?
This will help you decide. It's not always worth taking risks. But if in the worst case you don't lose much, why not? Making the right choice is the best decision possible.
Previous bad decisions
Even if you have made many mistakes in the past, this is not a reason to shift the responsibility for making decisions to public opinion, a neighbor, or mom and dad. When a child learns to walk, he inevitably falls. Parents can support him. But if you don't let him go, he will never learn to walk on his own.
A person must learn to go through life on his own. It doesn't matter how many times he falls. You can make no mistakes at all and always take the right steps, or you can stumble a hundred times.
At the crossroads
So what? Should you decide or not to take on a new life, a new job, a risky operation, or marriage? What is better - a small but real bird in the hands, or an abstract pie in the sky?
You can scroll through the options. You can interview all the experts, hear many opinions, weigh everything a hundred times - and get even more confused...
It's best to be clear: sometimes there is simply no perfect solution - and it's completely normal to choose the lesser of two evils.
If the choice is balanced, then it doesn’t matter what to choose - try to grasp it at least logically. You may disagree: how can it matter if the choice matters so much in terms of consequences? But you have no perspective on the consequences. That's why you doubt.
Imagine that the choice consists of two closed boxes - red and blue. In one - our duty is a million dollars - we don’t know which one. In the other there is a rotten apple. Which box should you choose? What do you think?
The correct answer is any box. There is nothing to think about here. There is no difference between the two unknowns. In fact, there is no choice either.
Let’s say there was an apple in the box you chose. Will you regret your choice?
Remember. This move was not wrong. You always perform at your best and make your best choices. With your current knowledge of the game, you are already maximally effective. You choose the optimal probabilities. And if you lose, remember - you did everything that depended on you. The end result of the game is the will of fate.
You are moving in limited visibility towards dim light. Choose the best you can see. Therefore, there is nothing to regret. Regrets go away when you clearly realize that you could not have acted differently.
In addition, a local loss in another small game can be a stepping stone to a global victory in a big game. Yesterday's success can turn into failure, and failure can turn into an even greater victory.
Ignorance of your true desires and needs
Many people really don't understand what they want. These are children for whom their parents decided. These are young graduates who, due to hormones and lack of life experience, choose a profession “for the company” or go where their parents sent them.
How to understand your needs? When it comes to deciding what dish to order at a restaurant, you can flip a coin. The moment the coin is in the air, you will already know what result you are expecting. You will understand what you want: you will either be happy or upset.
If we are talking about choosing the right profession or other important things, it is worth gaining experience. Many parents are in no hurry to send their child to university immediately after school. The graduate is asked what he would like to do in life and is sent to work in a similar field. If this is medicine, you can get a job as a hospital orderly and see how doctors work. More often than not, a person's opinion changes.
The vast majority of people do not work in a profession. And children's dreams become funny and unattractive over time. Even what a person did with pleasure before becomes boring. A person outgrows his hobbies. Psychologists recommend changing your profession every 7 years. This way you won’t feel stagnant, you’ll be able to learn more, try more in life, and get to know yourself better.
Foresight
The choice is influenced by external conditions, self-esteem, foresight, clarity of thinking, and belief in success. All these factors are floating and unstable. Therefore, the same choice may seem best for today and unacceptable for tomorrow.
Every second you make your best choice based on the data available. You don't see the whole situation. You know your cards - these are your resources, strengths and weaknesses; you see the layout on the table - these are your ideas about the external situation. And you just guess what will happen next - what move life will make. This is all your information about the game.
Today, your knowledge was enough for this person to get to this second, to open this article and read to this point. Then you will make your next best move.
When you realize that you are doing your best, you no longer have anything to worry about. You could never do otherwise, you always made your best choice. And he brought you to this life, in this country, in such conditions, in such a body.
Sometimes your taste buds make a forward-thinking choice that will benefit you in the future. Sometimes, due to unconsciousness, the choice seems delicious and destructive. Drug addiction is psychological myopia.
