Down with September 1st! Long live August 32! Funny quotes about school

School is always a bright and memorable time in the life of every person. The years of study have a special place. After all, within the walls of the school it is so interesting and fun. Classmates are constantly coming up with something, joking with each other. It also goes to teachers. The main thing is that the jokes are not offensive. Read funny quotes about school in our selection: for children, classmates, teachers and parents, about study and knowledge.

Studying is good, but skipping school with a classmate is much more fun

Funny quotes about school and classmates

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A D student has two things: a car and an apartment; a C student has three: a car, an apartment and a dacha. And an excellent student has five things: a bald head, big glasses, a stomach ulcer, a debt to the state and a certificate of honor for academic success.

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Only students and schoolchildren answer the question “what time is it?” They answer: “10 minutes left.”

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On the test, our class is like one big family, but every family has its black sheep.

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In high school, independent work ceases to be independent. It is already collective.

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Classmates are the most dangerous people. They remember you without makeup, in colored tights and with two pigtails.

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Studying is good, but skipping school with a classmate is much more fun.

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If a classmate helps with a test, then he is either afraid of you or not greedy.

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If your desk neighbor is not a fool or a miser, then you will be lucky with cheating.

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If you sit alone during recess, it means you really love to study.

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A classmate - this sounds responsible, who else will help lay out the buttons and pee with chalk.

Learning is light, but sometimes the whole class is simply blinding.

Quotes from famous rappers. West Coast. Continued.

Life is a wheel of fortune and this is my chance to spin it

I finally decided to write a sequel.

Ice Cube

I'd rather break off some bread than break your head.

One of the pioneers of gangsta rap. Former member and author of most of the songs of the rap group NWA. His pseudonym translates as “ice cube.”

Hip-hop is all about how you present yourself. There's a lot of arrogance and ego mixed in here.

Hip-hop used to help us improve and express our opinions about government policies through music. Now this is no longer relevant.

In ninety-three, rap became a kind of escape from problems - clubs, alcohol, grass, cars, women. But now it is clear that problems cannot be avoided this way.

Rough of course, but vital:

Who is this creature who built this prison, who is this brute who invented this miserable life.

Sorry, that's all we can do. We don't want to push drugs, but a bird in the hand is better than God knows what.

There is no thing that is above criticism, especially the government.

Doctor Dre

Talent is what gets you into the game, and personality is what keeps you there.

In 1995, as soon as Death Row signed a contract with Tupac, Dre left the label, arguing that Suge Knight (the head of the label) had become corrupt, dishonest and uncontrollable.Dr. Dre has repeatedly proven that he is a demanding person, and demands full dedication from musicians. In 2006, Snoop Dogg gave an interview to a website where he said that Dre once forced the singer to re-record part of a song's vocals 107 times.

No matter how hard you work to get up, there will always be a stubborn person willing to bring you down just as hard.

For me, slow always produces a hit.

The Game

FAMILY -Forget about money,i love you (FAMILY - forget about the money, I love you)

Game is considered a major force in bringing West Coast hip-hop back into the mainstream and competing with the East Coast. Game is also the only West Coast artist to release a multi-platinum album ("The Documentary") since Dr. Dre "2001", which came out in late 1999

What will you do if life gets more difficult? Will you start shedding tears or will you fight back?

And let's go back to the previous post..

2pac

I am a child of society, that's what they made me, and now I express my opinion, but they don't want it. This is how you made me America.

I thought I had friends, but in the end everyone dies alone.

Eminem

Lord, I’m watching these videos of Britney Spears, Christine Aguilera, Jennifer Lopez and thinking: how many men leave them? All the clips are the same...as are the songs.

When I think how much the fans of these pop singers hate me, I feel sick.

If all you can do and think is focused on one person, well, attack me, do your thing. And I’m tired, I’m fed up, I’m stopping the war.

Someone is creating websites about me, someone is probably doing surgery on themselves to be like me. But I'm the only one. And you don't know me, so can I ask you a question? Why do you love me?

All!

No one has died from knowledge so far, but it’s not worth the risk.

Funny quotes about school and studying

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Knowledge is power! There is strength - no need for intelligence! No brain no Gain! Conclusion: knowledge cripples a person!

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No one has died from knowledge so far, but it’s not worth the risk.

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School means nerves to hell, constant lack of sleep and offline in VK.

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No one has ever died from knowledge. Although the skeleton in the biology classroom is alarming.

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I cut my finger on a textbook sheet. I always knew that studying was evil.

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A school is an institution where children are taught what is necessary and what is unnecessary mixed together, in every possible way preventing them from distinguishing one from the other.

At school No. 23, a Trudovik hanged himself. Everyone is in grief, and only Vovochka from 6th “B” is proud that the Trudovik chose his stool.

Quotes about school with meaning

Book and school - what is deeper? Pavel Tychina

He who opens a school closes a prison. Victor Hugo

Good teachers create good students. Mikhail Ostrogradsky

After bread, the most important thing for the people is school. Georges Jacques Danton

You can't learn everything at school - you need to learn how to learn. Vsevolod Meyerhold

The current school certificate only certifies that its owner has the ability to withstand so many years of schooling. Lawrence Peter

Alas, school gives knowledge, not wisdom. Guy Burt

And I don’t like school because it’s where a little person meets the state for the first time. Evgeniy Grishkovets

The goal of the school should always be to educate a harmonious personality, and not a specialist. Albert Einstein

I never allowed school to interfere with my education. Mark Twain

Although not all quotes about school confirm this, the time spent studying in this educational institution is very important for any person, because it is during this period that the formation of personality, character traits, skills and abilities occurs. The child receives a basic level of education and is assigned a future profession. The importance of knowledge acquired during schooling cannot be overestimated.

I will not go to school! The teachers there are harassing me intellectually!

Funny quotes about school and teachers

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I will not go to school! The teachers there are harassing me intellectually!

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Judging by teachers' salaries, our government consists of vindictive losers.

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Sadistic teacher detained. He gave his students grades not only in the school magazine, but also under their photographs on Odnoklassniki.

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“An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth!” - Vovochka said and gave Marya Ivanovna bad marks under the photographs on Odnoklassniki.

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Road sign, it says: “School. Drive quietly. Don't hit the child." At the bottom, in childish handwriting, is written: “Wait for the teacher.”

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Note in the diary: I swore in German in English class.

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School is a place where teachers demand knowledge from students in all subjects, while they themselves know only one.

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Stephen King's teacher still can't forget his essay "How I Spent My Summer."

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At the school graduation party, a physical education teacher and a Trudovik fought... Trudovik won, because karate is karate... And a hammer is POWER!

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Dear Minister of Education! Please stop writing the essay “How I spent my summer.” Our teacher is an elderly, intelligent woman...

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The boy drove the teacher into hysterics with comments in his diary...

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We are sitting in algebra. The teacher made a mistake, we correct her mistakes, and she says: “I did this on purpose to test you.”

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At graduation, our German teacher congratulated us. For the first time in my life I understood what she was saying.

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The life safety teacher set the school on fire and gave A's for the quarter to those who managed to run out.

You go to a parent meeting and think half the night: “How did we study?!” No coolers, no blinds..."


Aphorisms about school

School has nothing to do with education. This is a control institute where children are taught basic social skills. Winston Churchill

Learn from everyone, don't imitate anyone. Maksim Gorky

Nature has taken care of everything so much that everywhere you find something to learn. Leonardo da Vinci

That's how school works. The most important thing we learn there is that all the most important things we learn are not there. Haruki Murakami

The school gives knowledge only to those who agree to take it. Sergey Skotnikov

School prepares us to live in a world that does not exist. Albert Camus

It makes me furious to think about how much I would have learned if I hadn't gone to school. George Bernard Shaw

The school is a place where cobblestones are polished and diamonds are destroyed. Robert Ingersoll

I don’t like school: they force you to focus on what you don’t want to know. Leonardo DiCaprio

We study, alas, for school, not for life. Lucius Annaeus Seneca

It just seems like school years are endless, but they pass very quickly and remain in our memories forever. I would like to believe that these memories are pleasant for everyone. In any case, school is a place where you can learn something. For example, read. And this skill is great for reading quotes about school. But jokes aside, you can and should learn throughout your life. After all, every person, no matter who he is, is a student in the school of life.

When assigning homework, teachers aim for students but end up with parents

Funny quotes about school and parents

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When assigning homework, teachers target students and end up targeting parents.

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Since September 1, our parents have been left without labor.

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Still, we need to help mom around the house, because there’s a parent-teacher meeting coming up.

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First-graders joyfully go to school on September 1 only because their parents did not say how long they will have to study there.

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I used to think that teaching homework was the worst thing in the world. No! The worst thing is to teach homework with your child.

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I live in constant fear that one day I will need my school geometry knowledge.

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Soooo... I bought everything for school - a diary, a belt and valerian.

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The house is never as clean as before mom comes home from the parent-teacher meeting.

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Do you remember school? During the sound of the phrase: “Sooooo, he’ll go to the board...”, we managed to get a slight heart attack and pray...

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I got my child ready for school... And for the money it was as if I was giving him away in marriage!!!

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- Get ready quickly, otherwise you will be late for school! – Calm down, mom, school is open all day!

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Dad calls his neighbor: “Have you done your son’s math homework?” - Did. - Let me write it off.

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Sometimes I close my eyes and remember again... How my mother took me to first grade... how my father carried me home from graduation.

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- First day of school! Wake up! - Give me five more minutes. I do not want to go to school. - Not you, dad! I'm going to school!

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The child has his first parent-teacher conference at school. They warned me that I needed to take my passport with me. Apparently, we will immediately apply for a loan.

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Is your child being reprimanded? Teach him the phrase: “My mother teaches me that not every value judgment should serve as a behavior modifier.”

Phrases about school

A child always has to sit in school when something really interesting happens. Irmgard Coyne

Junior school students wear huge backpacks that make their spines crumble into their underpants. The older the student, the smaller the backpack, and finally the day and hour comes when a person goes to school, tucking a single notebook on all subjects under his trouser belt. Dmitry Yemets

Some children have a habit of thinking; one of the purposes of education is to rid them of it. Bertrand Russell

Strengths and weaknesses are rooted in school, and the keys to well-being lie with teachers. Ruhollah Mousavi Khomeini

The greatest people in history were rarely the best students, and the best students rarely became great people. Oliver Wendell Holmes

Your boy will not learn bad habits properly unless you send him to a good school. Hector Hugh Munro

You need to learn at school, but you need to learn much more after leaving school, and this second teaching, in its consequences, in its influence on a person and on society, is immeasurably more important than the first. Dmitry Pisarev

A teenager is a creature perfectly aware of everything that he was not taught at school. Marcilyn Cox

The home environment can negate much of what school is trying to instill. Ray Bradbury

The mother of all battles is elementary school. Emmanuel Macron

The schoolteacher and professor raise only species, not individuals. Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

School teaches, but life educates. Yuri Rybnikov

Of course, school is also fun. To support this, we provide funny phrases about school. And for those who can’t get enough, here are some jokes about school.

The most beautiful aphorisms about teachers: a brief overview

Istria offers us many beautiful aphorisms about teachers. Let's take a closer look at them.

An example of such a statement is the words of R. Emerson that a teacher is a person who knows how to turn difficult things into easy ones.

Konstantin Kushner ironically and beautifully notes that the pedagogical load that lies on the teacher is so heavy that it can only be compared with cosmic overload.

K. Marx also, not without humor, beautifully notes that any educator, when starting to fulfill his professional duties, must also be educated at the proper level.

V. Wilson believes that before educating, a teacher must remember that he himself must believe in every truth that he reveals to children.

And finally, W. Churchill once allowed himself to notice that a school teacher always has more power than the prime minister. This paradoxical and beautiful statement pleased his voters and became an aphorism.

How did aphorisms about teachers appear?

As you know, pedagogy as a science originated in ancient times, and this happened in Ancient Greece, which became famous for centuries as the source of true wisdom.

Great philosophers often turned to understanding the role of the teacher in the human world, many of their quotes became aphorisms. Greek aphorisms about teachers are famous for the depth of their thought and its beauty.

At the same time, aphorisms about teachers began to appear among other nations, who also paid great attention to the education of the younger generation. These are Eastern aphorisms, which are distinguished by their special understanding of man’s place in the world of people, and Western European aphorisms, which understand the matter of upbringing and education as the most important task facing society.

European aphorisms of modern times

Among the European aphorisms of modern times about teachers, the following can be especially clearly distinguished. As Samuel Butler notes, there are two types of teachers: the first teach a lot, and the second teach nothing at all.

Henry Adams says that every teacher touches eternity in his work, notes that a teacher grows two thoughts in a child, but before she grew there alone.

He believes that the main task of a teacher is to show his student the right path in life and in the world of people.

According to Karl Kraus, students eat what their teachers digest for them.

Contemporary writer Paulo Coelho notes that the role of a teacher in the world is enormous. Only those who have endured trials on the spiritual path, have gained patience and courage to accept all events in their life without judgment, can receive a true teacher as a gift from heaven.

William Ward notes that a great teacher inspires his students to do great things.

European aphorisms of modern times

Schooling was actively developing in modern Europe, which became the basis for the creation of new aphorisms about teachers.

Aphorisms about learning and teachers were written by the most famous thinkers and teachers.

As Michel Montaigne believed, teachers need a lot of intelligence to teach children, even more than they would need if they were teaching themselves. Thomas Fuller, addressing teachers, pathetically exclaimed: “Having knowledge, do not skimp on children lighting their candles from your torch!”

Jean-Jacques Rousseau also became famous for his statements addressed to teachers. In particular, he urged teachers not to hammer certain knowledge into children’s heads, but to strive to ensure that children acquire this knowledge on their own. Immanuel Kant wrote about this, who, addressing teachers, urged them: “Teach your children not to memorize thoughts, but to think.” A similar statement belongs to the famous teacher Adolf Disterweg, who wrote that a bad teacher can only teach to remember the truth, but a good one helps children find it themselves.

The same Diesterweg, not without irony, noted that one cannot become a true teacher by mastering a certain number of sciences, one can only be born one.

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