How can you not worry about what others will say? This question is asked by many people who are convinced that the opinions of others are at least equivalent to their own opinions. This is often accompanied by a need to be accepted by everyone due to low self-confidence. How can you change this and not worry about what others will say? Read the advice of psychologist Patricia Shelug-Yarosh.
Why do we care what others say?
How can you not worry about what others say? Whether we like it or not, humans are very social animals. We create rich, multi-layered relationships by treating social contacts as a resource. The community in which we live—from our immediate family or friends to society as a whole—determines many areas of our lives. Learning by imitation, using the community as a guide, a source of information, or a way to enhance one's status, is only part of the functions that interpersonal relationships perform.
The role they play in everyday life is difficult to underestimate, so the need for social behavior is built in people. Everyone wants to be loved, appreciated or noticed, but if the only source of information about oneself and therefore self-esteem is social approval, then things get complicated.
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In this situation, attention is often diverted to collecting feedback from others. If you constantly ask yourself questions: “What will others say?”, “How will they discuss me?” etc. - this not only negatively affects many areas of life, but is also a signal that should encourage you to work on yourself, your needs and self-esteem.
When there is a desire to fit in with the rest of the community, to meet its expectations, or at least your ideas about these expectations, it is worth trying to change it.
Excessive attention to the opinions of others, their expectations and judgments, as well as belittling one's own needs, means a low level of self-acceptance, which usually has its roots in childhood.
Relationships with family based on conditioning, frequent comparison, inflated and often unrealistic demands are just some of the factors that influence the enormous need for external recognition. Focusing on people's opinions, needs, and emotions takes up a lot of time, energy, and effort, while at the same time distancing you from your own needs, emotions, and opinions.
Regardless of the reasons for caring too much about what others say, if it is accompanied by a feeling that the effort is too much, it is worth working on it.
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If you often feel guilty or remorseful
Not everyone is familiar with the pangs of conscience. For example, psychopaths never experience them. This feeling forces us to constantly ask for forgiveness for something: if we forgot about someone’s birthday, were late or did not keep a promise.
The problem is not your conscience, but the ability to silence it. Constantly following other people's lead, you become very tired, forgetting about your own desires and opinions.
You may have already encountered Klaus's situation.
Sometimes I take a whole day to myself and look forward to it. I usually go out into nature or just stay at home, listening to my favorite music. One day, my daughter called me and asked me to buy her something in the store. Everything in me said “No,” but I still agreed, otherwise my conscience would have tormented me.
Klaus, 58 years old
You may neglect your interests and needs when there is an urgent need or desire to please the right person. However, by abusing this, you risk driving yourself into a vicious circle, more often getting tired and betraying yourself. In addition, by doing so, you allow others to violate the boundaries of your personal space.
What to do. You can fight remorse in the same way as you can fight fear. During cognitive psychotherapy, the patient is exposed to stimuli that cause fear. This is called exposure. A person does not avoid sources of fear, but, on the contrary, encounters them more and more often until he finally gets used to them.
In the same way, you can get rid of remorse. If Klaus in the previous example had turned down his daughter because he had his own plans, he would have felt guilty and agonized over it all day. However, at the same time, he would learn to extinguish this oppressive feeling within himself and would show those around him that he also has his own needs that need to be taken into account.
In addition, he would understand that it is necessary to strictly adhere to the boundaries of his personal space, which would increase his self-esteem. And the next time, when refusing someone, he would be much less worried about it.
Prepare answers to two questions and compare them
The psychologist encourages you to start by trying to answer the following questions: “Why am I doing this?”, “What does this do for me?” It may turn out that the reason for such self-coercion does not coincide with the results of this activity. It is worth writing down the answers to both of the above questions and comparing them with each other.
Sample answers to the question “why am I doing this”:
- Because I want to be accepted by others.
- Because I want to be part of the group.
- Because I don't want others to have a bad opinion of me.
- Because I want to know how to behave.
Sample answers to the question “what does this give me”:
- I get the impression that others accept me (in fact, they accept an image of you that adapts to them and is not authentic).
- It gives me a lot of stress.
- I get the impression that I control what is said about me.
- It gives me peace of mind because I'm not creating confrontation.
If you have to neglect your values
Perhaps you want to become more sensitive and gentle towards others. Or do you dream of remaining as you really are, without succumbing to people’s manipulations. It also happens that you do well in sports, drawing or music and want to develop your talent. Or, in general, you only care about your own children.
What to do. State your values and rank them in order of importance. If you choose to follow your own values when making a decision, others may be disappointed, but this will make you more honest and fair to yourself.
Here's an example of Karen's values:
1. Live for the sake of children.
2. Create something with your hands (sculptures).
3. Communicate with brothers, sisters and parents.
4. Love your job.
5. Be an honest, sincere, decent and reliable person.
The sisters invited Karen to a city festival. She's taking her time making a decision. On the one hand, her sisters are eager to see each other, so I don’t want to upset them. But on the other hand, Karen doesn’t mind staying at home. The list of values helped her make a decision.
Karen refused and spent the day working on the sculptures. She lifted her spirits and saved her moral strength for the children. The sisters were disappointed by her action. However, Karen decided to stand her ground.
How can you not care what others say?
Look at the reasons why you care about the opinions of others. What emotion is behind the phrase: “What should you worry about?” This can be an expression of fear, anger, sadness associated with rejection, feelings of inadequacy. Looking at this will allow you to know the true need, which will be compensated by acceptance by others. And this opens up the possibility of finding other, more constructive methods to fill this gap.
Try assertiveness training—learn to set your own boundaries in listening to others. This way it will be easier to organize social relationships, limiting yourself in attempts to meet the expectations of other people, their opinions and thoughts. Excessive perception of the opinions of others over time blurs the line between needs that are close to you and those that are alien to you.
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Admit your indifference
Of course, it’s not easy to make such confessions to ourselves, which is why we wait until the last minute. Again, let’s say you gathered up your resolve, confessed... and what next? Someone offended us, hurt us, and what should we do about it? After all, you can’t fix anything, you can’t change the past, you can’t undo either actions or words.
We seem to ourselves to be pawns in the hands of fate at such moments, victims, losers. But I don’t want to! Oh, no, no, I don’t care, I’m not offended, I’m not offended...
Only we are not pawns, not victims, not losers. Each of us is a beloved child of the Universe, and what happens to us is just an experience that should teach us something to make our lives better. If we accept this, we become wiser and move on. If we are offended, this means our refusal to understand something that is necessary for us and we continue to mark time, making illnesses for ourselves.
So we care. If we talk about this, it means we care. So it’s time to admit it, thank the people who allowed us to see and understand something, and also thank ourselves and life, and move on. This is our great advantage - we can’t turn any skill we have to our benefit.
Start with small first steps
Start with small steps - choose three people from your environment whose opinions and judgments you do not care about. Let it be a planned action that you consider as an experiment. It is worth choosing people with whom you do not have strong ties, but let them be completely indifferent to you. See what consequences this leads to, remember what made this task easier for you. This experiment will bring information that will help you create relationships that are more important to you.
Statuses about opinion. I don't care about your opinion
What did they think of me?
What do I look like now?
How can I please them?
How can I change the current opinion about me?
These are questions that many ask themselves. The list does not end here; there are many similar questions. This is all a direct symptom of dependence on the opinions of others. This is a disease that does not allow you to spread your wings and pulls you down. This is a disease that needs to be overcome in childhood. If you have or will probably someday have a child, never say to him the phrase: “Don’t do this, otherwise they will laugh at you!” Even from childhood, you should not attach such importance to the opinions of others.
Trying to please others and meet their expectations is a big illusion, because how people from the outside see us depends more on them than on us. This is the first fact that teaches us how not to pay attention to the opinions of others.
Work and the opinions of others
Let's take as an example a person who works with people every day, no matter in what field. He is always forced to speak the same to everyone and smile the same to everyone. And it doesn't matter whether he likes you or not. All the same, the audience of his clients will never behave unanimously. Some will like this person, some will not. Is there any point in worrying? Not everyone will like you. This is another fact that will help you understand how to deal with dependence on the opinions of others.
Family and the opinions of others
A new person comes into your family (sister’s husband, brother’s wife, etc.). He tries as best he can to please his relatives, but it often happens that this person is not accepted and he is still bad, no matter how hard he tries to please. Was it worth stepping over yourself? It is important to behave in a way that makes you comfortable. But we are not talking about any immoral behavior. Everything should be in moderation.
You and the opinion of others
It happens that you understand that a person is good and has not done anything bad to you, but you don’t like him and that’s all... This is simply not your person and it is unlikely that if he wins your sympathy, you will begin to love him more. You need to accept this fact, because you may be treated the same way.
Don’t try, don’t worry, don’t be afraid to be appreciated, you still won’t be able to please and please everyone. Deal with it. In order not to be afraid of people’s critical assessments, stop evaluating and criticizing everyone yourself. And myself included. Just count how many ratings you give to others per day! The saleswoman in the store carelessly threw away the change - bad lady. The taxi driver wished you a good day - great driver! After you realize such a tendency in yourself, begin to live with the conviction: “I am the way I am and I like myself this way.” Exactly the same in any situation about others: “he is the way he is and that’s good.” Soon, you will be indifferent to the opinions of others, ease and new achievable peaks will appear on the path.
Throughout my short life, they constantly tried to talk me out of everything. They told me: Don’t go there, don’t do that, it’s not yours and don’t even poke your nose in there. They even told me: “You won’t get married. You won't have any success in life." When I bought a computer at a time when there were only a few of them in our city, everyone tried to laugh at me and dissuade me from doing it. When I talked about great things, everyone laughed at me. These were people with small minds and even smaller hearts. They wanted me to be a small part of their gray society.
Now, looking back, I can say how happy I am, not caring about the opinions of others. It's great to have your own opinion and live the way you want. The only opinion that I can pay attention to is the opinion of God and the opinion of people who have achieved something. Who else knows the value of life if not they?
Fear of people's opinions is a huge chain that binds you as a person. We will never get ahead if we are afraid of what people will say and think about me. The best thing we can do is to leave the society of such people and exchange it for the society of those who have achieved something, who know the value of life. Of course, there are few such people, but they are the ones who make up the skeleton of our society. They look at these people, they look up to them, they do not understand them and they reproach them.
I am sincerely glad that I am not bound by the opinions of others. To some extent, I am still struggling not to fall back into this slavery. This opportunity opens up every day. The devil is setting people up for me to give up, because people are only pawns in the hands of Satan. He wants to show me what a loser I am, because having tamed me, he will not have a collapse when I reach the highest level of my life and begin to change the masses of people.
Yes, it is Satan who is the enemy of our success. Success is an influence on people's destinies, and not just a way to show off your achievements in front of others. If you reach a new level in your life, problems will definitely begin. Perhaps these will be even the most difficult problems in your life. If you take it all in and go through it, you will see what all this is for. This is our preparation for success. This is so that we do not become proud when we reach the top.
I love people and listen to their difficulties and problems, but I’m sorry, I don’t give a damn about their opinions. I have been a slave of people for too long, and as the Apostle Paul says, if I become a slave of people, then I cease to be a slave of Christ. I am a slave of Christ and what He thinks is more important than what others think of me. Oh, God, let many understand this and free themselves from this vile yoke
We quite often worry about what other people will think of us. In some cases, these experiences even develop into a certain form of addiction, when any less than flattering comment addressed to us lingers in the head for a long time, causing mental suffering and far unpleasant consequences for the psyche.
Few people know that there is a special method for getting rid of the harmful dependence on other people’s opinions. Moreover, few know how to apply it correctly in practice.
It is about this technique, which can significantly reduce such dependence on other people’s opinions
, we’ll talk about it in this article.
A simple and effective method of how to stop paying attention to other people’s opinions
Don't be scared!
We are not going to turn you into an insensitive animal, absolutely disregarding the opinions of others and committing any actions, even those that contradict all ethical standards. Our task
is to teach you how to get rid of excessive and completely unnecessary worries regarding the not always friendly assessment of your actions by others. And each of us has to face this from time to time.
You will say, well, this is just another useless advice, because it is basically impossible to control the opinions of other people, in most cases it is biased, subject to certain biases or negative aspects. At the same time, quite often we only think about how people treat us, while they themselves are fixated solely on themselves and do not see anything happening around them. No, we won’t talk about this, but we will try to teach you one, very simple technique, after trying which you will get rid of unnecessary anxiety, perhaps learn something new about yourself, understand some long-standing internal contradictions, learn to be yourself and get rid of from the harmful influence of other people's opinions. And all this without much difficulty and very quickly. The main thing is to want it!
Technique of how to stop being dependent on other people's opinions
So, imagine a standard situation where you find yourself in which you understand how much someone else’s opinion influences you. An acquaintance has arranged for you to meet a charming girl who has been in your head for several months. True, the date that took place did not go far the way you pictured it in your imagination. You were worried and therefore could not maintain an exciting conversation, impress the beauty with witty statements and your intelligence. And so, after breaking up, you begin to worry about what this pretty girl thought about you, whether she will want to see you again and whether she will decide that you are a complete bore.
Most of us, finding ourselves in such a situation, begin to engage in a thorough analysis of what happened, mentally scroll through all the events, words spoken, remember gestures, glances. And all this in order to somehow calm yourself down, in fact only inciting feelings. But you need to do something slightly different.
To begin with, just try to relax, this will take a couple of minutes. Take a few breaths and exhales, try to put your thoughts in order. Now imagine that this same girl, whose opinion is so important to you, has already done what you are so worried about - she has decided that you are a bore and that she no longer wants to date you. Keep in mind that you need to present this as vividly as possible; for you it should already be a fait accompli. You say, what a piece of advice, it’s just some kind of mockery. But don’t rush to a conclusion, now you will understand everything.
Someone else's opinion is your fantasy
Where do you think this plaintive, aching feeling of offended self-esteem comes from? Some will say that this is due to our understanding of the discrepancy between expectations about what impression we should make on others and the actual picture that is emerging. But such an opinion does not take into account a rather simple truth - such anxiety arises when our expectations about ourselves do not correspond to our ideas about the opinion we evoke in other people. In other words, we should not expect from others what we ourselves are not sure of. It turns out that you have fantasized about how gorgeous you look in the eyes of others, while in fact you are an ordinary person, with your own pros and cons, and then you worry that people could not make your fantasies come true. Now it is clear?
By the way, such fantasies, not fueled by a real stop to things, often pile on top of one another, which is why quite complex situations arise. Life is moving in the wrong direction, people choose professions that are not interesting to them, marry people who are not suitable for them, i.e. they do not live their own lives, which completely kills their personality.
Learn to not care about other people's opinions
Returning to the advice we started talking about, we note that it is not aimed at completely destroying your personality. Its goal is to collapse the house of cards of illusions and experiences that you built in your head with your own hands. It's like a tub of cold water poured on your head and forcing you to wake up from your slumber.
Now do you understand what the advice is to be yourself?
And here's another. We are often afraid of some event that may or may not happen to us. And thoughts about this traditionally begin with the words, what if? But having taken our advice and assessed this event from the point of view of an already accomplished fact, we move from fantasy mode to a certain mode of constructing an action plan to resolve the current situation. And here everything begins to line up somewhat differently, more constructively. After all, having realized that the worst has already happened, we begin to think about how to live with it and how to try to get out of this situation with dignity.
note
— as soon as you change your approach to the situation, learn to figuratively speaking, not care about other people’s opinions, you both evaluate it and begin to act somewhat differently. Your reaction to such a negative attitude towards yourself turns out to be far from being as terrible as you initially thought. “Well, just think, you decided that I’m a bore, so what of it?” – you think a little calmer. Both that fear and that excessive anxiety that you experienced just a few minutes ago may even seem funny. Don't feel sorry for yourself! What did you expect when you went on this date? That she will be delighted simply because you are like this: boring, unwitty and ordinary? No, my dear, first become the person you have imagined, and then expect rave reviews.
But here you shouldn’t go to extremes. Dependence on other people's opinions often arises due to the fact that our opinion about ourselves begins to be identified with the opinions of strangers about us. As Nietzsche noted, we want to convince others of how wonderful, kind, smart, and attentive we are in order to feel like ourselves. This means that if someone thinks badly of us, then we ourselves can believe in our own negativity. But by resorting to the advice described above, you can distinguish between these completely opposite factors. No one knows you better than yourself, so you shouldn’t get attached to the opinions of others. Just be able to stop paying attention to other people’s opinions and everything will change dramatically.
By the way, the technique we are talking about allows you to clearly see the subjectivity of someone else’s assessment of your personality. For example, you decided that someone might think of you that you are a vile and low person and deserve serious punishment for your misdeeds. But think about it: these are just the thoughts of another person, but not the real punishment that he wants for you. Using our advice, you begin to evaluate this situation somewhat differently than you did before. Well, they thought this about you, so what? You won't be good to everyone! The main thing is that you know that this is not so.
The main task of the technology we offer
– this is not the development of your self-esteem or self-humiliation. No! Its task is to teach you to perceive everything as it really is, to minimize the influence of other people's opinions on your personality. You do not need to inflate your own opinion of yourself or, on the contrary, lower it below the acceptable level. You must learn to see the real situation and try to become better or accept yourself for who you are. After all, we are all individuals with our own advantages and disadvantages, some we can get rid of, but some we have to live with. The main thing is to be yourself. But a person who is dependent on other people’s opinions does not obey himself, and this is scary.
By the way, self-esteem has absolutely nothing to do with it. It can act as a kind of tool in the hands of other people, with the help of which they will try to control you, criticizing you or praising you. But in the end, self-esteem is a thorn that can cause strong feelings in you, dependence on other people’s opinions, which ultimately do not lead to anything good for you.
Get rid of the influence of other people's opinions
The technique we are talking about is aimed at teaching you to get rid of dependence on other people's opinions and accept yourself as we are. What is all this for? For a real assessment of what is happening, the ability to separate fantasy from reality, which ultimately allows you to maneuver in any situation, leaving room for action, and therefore correcting the situation. You either focus on self-humiliation, reveling in your experiences, or you begin to resolve what is happening, correcting yourself, becoming better, if this is important to you, or you simply leave everything as it is, if this is not important to you.
It is worth noting that it is in the pursuit of universal recognition from society that we somehow completely forget about what is truly valuable to us and what is of secondary importance. Have you ever wondered why we do this? Often this happens for the same reason - to increase our self-esteem. It’s as if we are participating in a competition, the winner of which must surpass the losers in everything. Sometimes this happens out of inertia, even without any specific purpose.
However, having received such an assessment, we cease to appreciate what has been achieved, while any failures on the path to achieving it can lead us to a critical emotional state. At the same time, in the course of such a pursuit of the assessment of others, we push real values into the background: the love and respect of loved ones, those who value us in our present form, whose praise we do not need to seek. Unfortunately, this realization sometimes comes too late.
The technique under consideration for getting rid of dependence on other people’s opinions allows you to stop at the right moment and ask yourself whether this is really important. And only if the answer is positive, begin to take some action to correct the situation. If you are really upset, accept what is happening with gratitude, try to fix something, but remember - over time the pain will go away. Everything in our life tends to gradually pass. And if you fail to correct your attitude towards yourself, it means that you will simply forget the person who assessed you so negatively. The main thing is that there are fewer such people, and that you walk through life with your head held high!
*** For me, my mother’s opinion is the most important opinion in the world!)
*** Everything will be fine when people express their opinions only when they are asked for it!
*** You need to see a lot of people, a lot of opinions, to realize where you are and who you are. you have to really experience the influence of the crowd. then everything will come.
*** What is called public opinion rather deserves the name of public feelings.
*** Beauty is most enhanced by the absence of adornment.
*** They say the world has become too complex for simple answers. They are wrong.
*** This is how I personify life - Life is a thrown stone, and the force of the throw and the flight range will never be the same!
*** If you think so, it doesn’t mean that I should think the same.
*** The majority’s agreement with someone’s opinion does not automatically make it true, just as disagreement does not make it false.
*** My own opinion is a double-edged sword - it is desirable to have it, but sometimes it is unsafe to express it))
*** I think that when people get to know each other, they should bring each other some certificates, some tests...
*** I don’t care about anyone’s lamentations. My actions have their reasons...
*** Know how to listen. Respect other people's opinions. Don't impose yours.
*** Happiness depends not so much on the things themselves, but on the opinion we have about them.
*** Almost all people are good when you eventually understand them.
*** I don’t care what they say about me behind my back as long as they tell lies about me.
*** Having a very high opinion of people, be prepared for the fact that they may disappoint you.
*** There is no need to impose your opinion on other people - after all, that’s why it’s a personal opinion - that everyone should have their own!!!
***An opinion is like a hole in the ass - everyone has it. But “everyone has it” does not mean “you have to show it to everyone”!
*** Only knowledge has boundaries, stupidity has no boundaries!
*** “There are no undisputed opinions. There are opinions with which it is useless to argue.”
*** When I fell in love with myself, I realized how much you can offend someone if you impose on him the fulfillment of my own desires, when the time has not yet come, and the person is not yet ready, and this person is myself. Today I call it “Self-Respect.”
*** He who is humiliated by fate takes revenge, but he who is offended by fate can only insult, he is not smart enough for more
*** I agree with him on everything... But I have my own opinion!
*** Convincing those who don’t believe in love that it exists is like telling a person born blind about what sunlight is
*** I don't care about the opinions of people I don't care about.
*** As long as a person depends on the opinions of others and on the events of the outside world, he is extremely vulnerable and certainly unhappy.
*** Some people think that you need to drink less, others think that you need to drink more, but everyone agrees on one thing - you need to drink...
*** Don't let the noise of other people's opinions drown out your inner voice... Have the courage to trust your intuition!!!
*** I don’t care what they say about me and about my frivolous life, the main thing is that everything suits me!!!
*** I’m not rude... I just don’t care about the opinions of strangers who for some reason interfere with my living space.
*** For some reason, when people see the tip of the iceberg, they make assumptions about the iceberg itself...
*** The whole point is that I am a person of mood... And everything would be fine if it didn’t change so often and it wasn’t so easy to spoil it...)))))
*** Rely on the opinions of others, this will lead to happiness and peace of mind...
*** When you are interested in someone else's opinion, you ALWAYS risk hearing it. And having heard, you, COMPLETELY POSSIBLE, will have to take him into account.
*** The opinions of spouses may sometimes not coincide, which usually happens...
*** “Some people believe that “comfortable position” and “comfortable posture” are the same thing.”
*** I am against forcing happiness on people. Everyone has the right to their own bad wine, their own stupidity and their own dirt under their nails.
*** It makes sense to have a high opinion of yourself so that you are not screwed by those who think highly of themselves...
*** No, of course, many people don’t like me, or maybe I irritate me... Some, maybe, hate me... And everyone is trying to trick me somehow... But no one takes into account one thing - I... don’t care!!!
*** When the boss needs your opinion, he will appropriate it.
*** Nothing prevents you from seeing more than a point of view...
*** If you don’t have enough of your own misconceptions, you can expand them with expert opinions.
*** Our stage reminds me of the shooting of a porno film: as soon as the performers don’t lick the poor microphone...
*** Public opinion is, of course, good. But I like mine better))
*** I was always incredibly amazed that people have a sting in their mouths... These evil creatures must have worn the skin of a cobra or a viper in a past life...
*** The noise of other people’s opinions should not drown out your inner voice; you should only listen to your Heart and Intuition.
*** Sometimes the neighbor with whom we live thinks of us as we think of him.
*** When you tell people what is needed and how it is needed... Be sincere, speak DIRECTLY and about who needs it!!!
*** Regarding my latest prank... I wouldn’t like to hear reproaches, morals and moral teachings. Just applause is enough!!!
*** The greatest fear in the world is fear of the opinions of others. The moment you are not afraid of the crowd, you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion. A great roar is heard in your heart - the roar of freedom!
*** Love, illness, problems and other nasty things attack from the rear, unexpectedly and selectively...
*** Different opinions are born when the same fact is looked at from different points of view...
*** Have your own opinion. It is difficult to maintain and demanding, but it is worth it.
*** Whoever attaches great value to people's opinions gives people too much honor!
*** Think about who you are, and then talk about me.
*** I don’t care about everything... I am a queen!!! And for the rest... I'll say this... How I live... It's none of your business! Judge better... Your life!!!
*** You should never draw conclusions about a person based on someone else’s opinion.
*** If you need a helping hand, it is always with you - your own! When you get older, you will realize that you have 2 hands: one to help yourself. the other is to help others!
*** Oh... I stepped on someone’s opinion... Damn... I crushed...
*** If you easily change your opinion about a person under the influence of rumors, gossip and speculation, you thereby admit your own stupidity...
*** Your right to your own opinion does not oblige me to listen to nonsense.
***Every person has every right to his own opinion - provided that it coincides with ours
*** Public opinion is not a lighthouse, but only lanterns wandering in the darkness! I never rely on public opinion. my life and only mine!
*** Think with your head, not public opinion.
*** Don’t stop people from thinking about you to the extent of their depravity. This way you will quickly understand which one is which!
*** I don't get offended by people, I just change my opinion about them!!!
*** It is always better to express directly what you think and not worry about a lot of evidence: no matter how much we bring, they will only be variations of our opinions, and opponents do not listen to either opinions or evidence.
*** Dick, based on the opinions of others, leads to happiness and peace of mind...
*** What a strange determination you have in your opinions and conversation, I see it everywhere in Russia. Hers and the weakness of her actions.
*** “Contrary to popular belief, women also love to make things - for example, they do not at all strive to marry perfection, they prefer to finish their husbands themselves”
*** It’s one thing to respect other people’s opinions, and quite another thing to live to please the opinions of people who, by and large, don’t care about you!
*** Show me a person who knows how to live correctly in the world. And I will immediately bring out a crowd that will explain that he is wrong. This is how the world works... And the only position that still helps it not to collapse is respect for someone else’s point of view...
*** Don't worry about other people's opinions as long as you know you're doing the right thing.
*** It only makes sense to enter into a debate with a person who is interested in your opinion. Everything else, as a rule, is a waste of time and mental energy.
Statuses about opinion
How to use the power of positive thinking?
Try not to talk about other people for a few days - whenever you want to give a harsh assessment to someone, try to reframe the idea in a positive direction.
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For example:
- Instead of asking “how did he dress,” say: “He dressed as he wanted, as he could, he has the right to do so.”
- Instead of “how can he have such a mess in his apartment,” say: “It’s not important for strangers” or “He’s so comfortable,” etc.
People who care about what others say are often environmentally critical themselves. Working to soften your criticism makes it easier to distance yourself from anyone else.
If you try to seem like a different person
Perhaps you have already pretended more than once, for example, opening a gift from your interlocutor in front of him in order to please him. Surely you also know how to hide irritation and other negative feelings when meeting uninvited guests.
By wishful thinking, we spend an incredible amount of energy, paying for what we have done with fatigue.
When accepting gifts, my granddaughter likes to open them with her head covered in a blanket. I think many of us would follow her example. Hidden, she may not make the appearance that others expect from her.
Why don’t we show our sincere feelings in a given situation? We do this, first of all, in order to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings, so as not to offend other people. In addition, many of us perfectly understand the capabilities of our interlocutor and try not to exceed them. And it's not just a matter of politeness.
This selection mechanism works automatically for us. You subconsciously hide from your interlocutor that part of yourself that he is not able to comprehend or understand.
What to do. If you are subject to the influence of others, be careful in choosing friends so as not to waste yourself on people in whose company you cannot be yourself.
Take advantage of specialist support
Sometimes excessive overestimation of the opinions of other people requires the support of a psychologist and psychotherapist. When daily functioning and general psychophysical state are disturbed and attempts to change this state of affairs are not enough to achieve significant results, you should sort it out in the office of a psychologist. With the support of a specialist, you work through the causes of the problem, expand your understanding and perspective of the entire situation, and develop methods for making changes.
It's worth remembering that we all sometimes worry about what others think, but if it starts to affect most of the actions we take, it's worth trying to change. Once you feel the beginning of change, many situations will immediately seem easier.
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Do you really want others to evaluate you?
Too often we look for outside approval, some kind of confirmation that we are doing everything right. But, as we said above, other people are stupid in their judgments. So why wait for their assessment then?
In any case, it's up to you to decide. Be that as it may, you should learn to be open and respectful of people's opinions, even if you don't agree with them.
We share this planet with seven billion other people. This number is simply huge - our brain, unfortunately, is not able to imagine how much it really is. This is a huge number of people.
No matter who you are, no matter what you do, no matter how great your achievements or how catastrophic your failures, no matter what you believe in, no matter what you stand for, there will always be those , who will like you, and those who will hate you. And most of them won't care if you're even alive.
