Memories of the past: causes and ways to get rid of them

“You remember, of course you remember everything...” S. Yesenin, “Letter to a Woman”

Every person's life is a real treasure.
Over the course of many years, we have been building strong relationships, achieving success in our careers, starting a family, discovering something new for ourselves, and traveling. However, we are social creatures, and our lives depend heavily on society. One person is capable of ruining the life of another overnight - with the wrong choice or word. This is what happened to 27-year-old Michael Green. In 1983, four men kidnapped and raped a Houston woman. The police were unable to catch them immediately, but soon found two, including Michael Green, who matched the description of the criminals. The men were shown to the victim, who responded (based on still fresh memories) that they were not like the ones who had abused her.

Memory according to Freud

He considered it the most important component of the human psyche, determining personality. He put forward a theory about three types of memory:

• Conscious. Characterized by awareness of reality. That is, what is happening to a person at a given moment in time. This is a tactile sensation (a book in your hands), a visual perception (what color it is) or gurgling in your stomach, and so on. Consciousness, in this case, is determined by what is heard, seen and through feeling.
• Preconscious. We are talking about memories that the individual is not aware of at the moment, but which, if desired, can be recalled and activated, for example, driving a car, dates of birthdays and anniversaries.
• And unconscious. This memory is the most significant, it includes experiences and memories that are not consciously realized by the person, which sit deep in the memory, and access to them is limited. Freud believed that the unconscious bowl is filled with those images, pictures and feelings, that is, memories of the past that a person wants to forget.

Memories and the degree of their awareness determine a person’s personality.

What is a memory?

This is a reproduction (from English) of pictures of the past cut off in time and space from autobiographical (episodic) memory. It cannot be attributed to the entire past. This is just the sensory part of it: feelings and experiences. Experience, thoughts and assessments do not apply here.

Memories can be different: joyful and sad, bright and dark, good and evil. Of course, you want to return to sweet memorable events, because you can’t live in the past. Now we have a general idea of ​​past memories. Memories of the future will become a further topic of conversation.

It's about déjà vu

A mysterious and little-studied phenomenon, the occurrence of which intersects the present, past and future. A person gets the feeling that this has already happened to him once. For some reason, our consciousness travels to the future, remembers something there, as a result of which, before the onset of an event, there is confidence that we know what will happen, since we remember it from the past.

Every healthy person experiences it at least once in their life. What is this - a play of our imagination, fragments of memories, fragments of dreams, a mental disorder or evidence that we are not living our first life? Or is this a misinterpretation of the timing of the event? There are many questions, but there is no reasonable answer. What if there is no time, and we can remember the future as well as the past?

When should you consult a psychotherapist?

In most cases, you can cope with dependence on the past on your own. However, there are situations when you cannot do without the help of a specialist. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a severe reaction that occurs due to traumatic events.

This is not a character trait at all, but a painful condition that torments a person. Only a doctor can diagnose it. PTSD requires professional treatment. For a person with this disorder, terrible memories from the past arise involuntarily. They force him to relive those terrible events.

PTSD is also called military syndrome because it is common among combat veterans. The disorder can also occur as a result of:

• death of a loved one;
• car accidents;
• plane crashes;
• rape;
• physical and emotional bullying;
• poverty and hunger.

Moreover, this disorder can occur not only in someone who has experienced terrible moments, but also in someone who simply saw it all with his own eyes. The main symptoms of PTSD are:

• intrusive unpleasant memories;
• isolation;
• detachment;
• difficulties in communicating with people and building close relationships;
• causeless anger;
• restless sleep.

If you notice such symptoms in yourself, seek help from a psychotherapist. It will help you leave painful memories in the past and start living a calm and fulfilling life again.

Finally, I recommend watching a short video that will motivate you to let go of the past.

Let's continue talking about mysticism

Let's talk about memories, about past lives. There are many myths regarding this topic, but reincarnation has been proven by scientists.

“Science cannot provide absolutely reliable arguments against the idea of ​​eternal recurrence.”

Albert Einstein's quote also confirms this. US medical doctor Ian Stevenson has devoted decades to studying past lives. He worked with children from Asia, who told him about memories, about the past. He checked the data that supported their story.

In Eastern culture there is no prohibition to talk about past lives; the idea that there is only one life is not promoted there. That's why they talk about it calmly. Another scientist, Michael Newton, proved the theory of past lives through hypnosis.

Is it possible to learn to see?

Definitely. Special techniques and training will help with this. Moreover, scientists claim that children under five years of age have this property; memories of past lives are not closed to them. Why do we need to know about them, you ask. It’s simple - they contain the key to the future, or rather, to understanding what is happening to you in the present. Thanks to this, it is easier and faster to understand yourself than through childhood memories and analysis of comparisons of situations within one current life. We remember only the accumulated experience that we received in past lives.

After all, you can see your talents and happy lives. Find out what you did well, what made you successful and famous, how you achieved your goals, by what means, what emotions you experienced. It is this state of internal upsurge of vitality that ensures success. It’s possible to “relive” all this again.

With the help of past lives, you can get answers to all the questions that concern you, understand why something doesn’t work out, and remove obstacles to achieving your goal. It is understanding and re-awareness of the problem that helps get rid of it.

Pavel Florensky - To my children. Memories of yesteryears

4 …

Whether it was very difficult for dad to contribute to the Davidic Rise, I don’t know. But for these carrying on my shoulder I still have the most grateful feeling towards him as a deliverer from the hostile and evil Destroyer Sun. Partly, perhaps, this is also because Lucy had not yet been born or was very small, I had no clashes with her, my father belonged to me entirely, and I had not yet had any troubles with him because of Lucy, which became darken my childhood subsequently and thereby introduce some estrangement from my father. Then the unity of son and father, in my mind, was unconditional, and the father himself was an unconditional father for me, and I was his unconditional son.

Mother

I never had this feeling of closeness and indivisibility of existence in relation to my mother. First of all, she didn’t bother much with me, being busy with Lyusya and then with the other children. Restrained, withdrawn, proudly shy in the manifestation of feelings, exaggeratedly and bashfully hiding from me since childhood - when she fed and carried children, she seemed to me from the first days of my consciousness to be a special being, as if a living phenomenon of nature, feeding, giving birth, beneficent , – and at the same time distant, inaccessible.

This impression of my mother - as of Mother Nature - was also facilitated by the cult with which my father, both by the movement of feeling and by conscious conviction, honored my mother, believing that a woman-wife in general is a special being, and his wife - and three times special, which, however, was probably not unfair. I did not perceive faces in it; it completely surrounded our being, was felt everywhere and was somehow invisible. I could talk about my father, about Aunt Yulia, about brothers and sisters, and aunts, and cousins, but I could hardly say anything about my mother before; and even now I can say very little about her - only what others told me about her, but not my own. For the power of my analysis cannot dissect the amorphous, although very strong, impression from the mother; it cannot be objectified, cannot be expressed in words. I always talked to my father a lot; with Aunt Yulia, with the aunts, with everyone too. But it seems like never with my mother, or I got the impression that I didn’t talk to her. My relationship with her seems like the feeling of a lonely traveler in a large, cool grove. Sacred awe and silence, coolness and timidity... not fear, but...

My mother was for me the native depths of existence, but clinging to her as if she were my own was strange, inappropriate. Of course, I'm talking about this in an exaggerated way. Of course, I pressed myself against her, kissed her, but I remember that every year she received these caresses either colder or more embarrassed, and I felt that I was violating some proper boundaries. And I, it should be noted, was a very affectionate child, all the time I kissed first one, then the other, and could not live without these caresses, as if I could live without air, warmth and light. I remember a later story from my mother or Aunt Lisa to my wife Anna, that they weaned me extremely easily: I didn’t even notice it. And some vague half-memory confirms this story for me: somehow I was not partial to my mother’s breast, not to say that I was repulsed by it; and therefore, at the first occasion, he fell away from her, as if the moisture that had glued two pieces of paper had dried up. It fell away from the breast and was not noticed, i.e. it was never associated with the breast. How similar this is to my direct memory of these first events of my life. And this is all the more characteristic because I, I repeat, was an extremely affectionate child, extremely affectionate and gave myself to every love with my whole being. And if even my mother’s breast did not pull my heart towards itself, if with my mother’s breast something most dear to my heart did not burst out of my soul, and with it - and the soul itself, this means - here I cannot help but declare this decisively - that with From the very beginning I did not have that attachment to my mother that every child has - a filial attachment.

This last one was completely owned by Aunt Yulia. Based on what has been said, I do not want to say that I had no relationship with my mother. On the contrary, they were very powerful. However, they were not personal; they were of a pantheistic rather than moral nature.

In my mother I loved Nature, or in Nature – Mother, Naturam naturantem1 of Spinoza. I knew that my mother loved me very much; and at the same time I always had a feeling of her mysterious greatness. And it seemed to me that she could stand up to her full height and, without noticing me, crush me. I wasn't afraid of it and I wouldn't protest against it. But at the same time there could be no distance, which was never the case in relation to the father or aunt.

Aunt

Aunt, on the contrary, represented the opposite pole of my childhood life. I did not deny the noumenal power in her, I was not surprised at her, but I loved her with a deeply personal love, I was probably in love with her with all the whole feeling of a child. She was my friend, comrade, and teacher; with her I shared my sorrows and joys; I received reprimands and punishments from her (although there were very few of them); in general, everything human was with her. She did not overwhelm me with her detachment from the little things in life; I could chat with her about elegant dresses, lace, bows and hats, which I was a big fan of; with it you could pick flowers and make bouquets; In general, one could live with her. The mother had to be worshiped. And not because she demands worship. On the contrary, nothing, if we take consciousness, beliefs, was so alien to my mother as the claim to attention and under [share]. On the contrary, she was burdened by all attention, increased her modesty and her embarrassment to the point of making it impossible to live in human society... And yet, and perhaps even more so, there was an atmosphere around her that demanded worship, not life.

Birth of Lucy

My sister Lyusya was born when I was already 2 1/2 years old. But neither the birth of Lucy nor the first years of her existence left a trace in my memory. I vaguely remember that one morning my dad took me in his arms and told me about the birth of my sister. There was a very vague impression that he was pleased with this and told me the family news cheerfully; as if it happened in the cafeteria. But I didn’t experience anything significant in connection with this and I don’t remember Lucy as a newborn. I very vaguely remember that they took me to my mother and that my mother was lying among everything white. But I dare not say that I am not confusing the birth of Lucy with the birth of the children who followed her. It seems that I have nothing left from the baptism of Lucy, who was named so (short for Julia) in honor of Aunt Julia.

Smallpox vaccination

But one event from our initial life is etched in my memory very vividly. This is exactly how Lucy and I were vaccinated against smallpox. I remember very well that the need for vaccination was repeatedly discussed with us, but from day to day the vaccination itself was postponed, it seems that fresh lymph was not received for a long time. I was trembling in advance with an unknown horror, but secretly hoped that they would put it off and put it off and maybe forget about it. And indeed, they stopped talking about the vaccine, perhaps noticing too strong an impression these conversations made on me. And I almost calmed down.

But one day I was sitting on a bench near the house. Someone was sitting next to me, probably one of my cousins, or Datiko (David Sergeevich Melik-Beglyarov), or Sandra (Alexander Stepanovich Chrelaev). It was probably getting dark. There's a man walking down the street. My heart immediately skipped a beat, sensing some kind of misfortune, still unknown to me, but even more terrible. Approaching us, he asked if the Florenskys lived here, and perhaps asked to be told that a paramedic had arrived. As fast as I could, panting with excitement, I rushed home, into the half-open entrance right there, running away not so much for the sake of the assignment given to me, but from an evil man.

1916.XI.24

Whether I told my parents about him or, as I vaguely remember, my cousin, I cannot say for sure; but I remember that I was huddled in a corner somewhere in the bedroom. It seems that they didn’t find me right away, but they were in a hurry to look for me, not wanting to detain the paramedic and due to the approaching darkness. While they were looking for me, they inoculated Lucy with smallpox. I was led into the living room, dimly lit by the time of day, when the vaccination had already begun. They made a strong cut on her. The sight of blood, which I saw almost for the first time, struck me so much that I didn’t even resist when they started attacking me, and froze in horror. Out of horror, I did not notice either the pain or the vaccination itself, being in a daze, and the excitement and, probably, tears came much later.

This first vaccination was a success, and even too much so. Maybe I was too big for her and itched my arm, but all three scars from the vaccine turned out to be in the form of three-kopeck coins and are still clearly visible on my left hand. Vasenka, my son, was very interested in them, and I explained to him that these are the buttons that fasten my human skin, and that as soon as I unfasten them, I will take off my skin and fly out of the skin in the form of a bird, break the window glass and fly beyond the far edges ...

4 …

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What are the causes of memories of the past?

A person quite often returns to the events that happened, thinks, immersing himself in them. Those, in turn, absorb. By obsessing over them, an individual causes harm to psychological and physical health. Here are the main situations that provoke this:

• Death of a loved one or loved one.
• Betrayal, separation from your beloved.
• Unfulfillment in life, in particular, lack of demand in the profession.
• Change of residence (different district, city, country).
• Everyday monotonous life.

There are many reasons, but whatever they are, you cannot look back at the past, otherwise you will be doomed to constant failures.

There are some tips on how to deal with this

You can get rid of the memories of past years. Let's give some advice:

• Analyze the past. It is necessary to forgive, admit the mistake and let go of the situation.
• Extract errors.
• Use meditation and positive affirmations.

It also happens that a person understands and tries to get rid of the memories of past years, but nothing works. Here the individual is either dishonest with himself, or there really is a deep-seated reason in the subconscious. Then it may be better to contact a professional psychologist.

What is another name for memories?

Synonyms for "memories"

Now, here are the statements of famous people

So, quotes about memories, about the past:

• “Memory is the only paradise from which we cannot be expelled” (J. Richter).

• “The memories are so ridiculous. Some of them are quite vague, others are absolutely clear, others are too painful and you try not to think about them, and some are so painful that you will never forget them” (A. McPartlin).

• “Getting rid of memories is like robbing yourself. Sometimes memories are all we have, and they taste sweeter than any fruit” (M. Brenton).

• “The paths diverged, but the memories remain” (S. Yesenin).

• “Memories are what make us grow old. The secret of eternal youth is the ability to forget” (Erich Maria Remarque).

There are so many sayings of famous people, and each definitely has its own truth, because it’s not for nothing that these phrases have become catchphrases. Memories of the past, in a word, are the key to the future. Of course, you can’t live by them, but you can and even need to use them as experience in order to avoid making mistakes.

Give voice to your feelings

Goal: to regain your “aliveness”. The child we once were still lives in our body. This is not a memory divorced from what we feel today, but a reality. And it is very important for us to meet him again, “because the child is the bearer of the vital impulse,” says Emmanuel de Cocromont, “which I call “lively,” and a large part of adult men and women make decisions that do not come from this source. They make choices that do not develop life and joy in them.” To revive this impulse:

Find your childhood photos (up to 12 years old). Break them down into two types: those you like and those you don’t—not for aesthetic reasons, but because of what they express. Choose the photo you like the least and the one you like the most. If you don't find a "positive" photo, work on a "negative" one.

Take a pen and paper. Look at the photograph and allow the images, sensations and feelings that arise. Write down in the first person, “I,” everything that this child tells you about himself at the moment: feelings and facts (place, time of year, why the photo was taken, the clothes you were wearing). Then take the next photo and do the same. Pay attention to the physical sensations you experience when looking at each photo.

Positive experiences (joy, excitement, energy) indicate that the inner child is in touch with its “aliveness.” In adulthood, physical sensations (opening, expansion, lightness - or closing, contraction, heaviness) signal whether we are in contact with something in ourselves that is useful for us, or with something that is harmful. That’s why it’s important to regularly—preferably daily—listen to your own feelings. And especially in cases where we have to make an important decision.

How to get rid of torment?

The main thing is to understand that the past cannot be canceled and corrected, no matter what it was. Use it as resources or experience. For example, before an important negotiation, to cope with anxiety, remember the moments when you achieved success.

Use bad memories from the past as experience. When learning a lesson from them, remember only this so as not to repeat previous mistakes. Living in the present is worth living. It is at this moment that you can influence something and change the course of events. It is necessary to properly use and appreciate the past, because the future will depend on it.

What is the feeling called when you remember the past?

This feeling sometimes rolls over each of us and from this, from all the memories, as a rule, a feeling comes over us, which is called nostalgia. Therefore, when each of you is visited by such sadness and sadness, when it is a pity that the past cannot be returned, then this means you have been visited by nostalgia.

This feeling is called nostalgia - pleasant memories of pleasant events that have already happened. But the past is not always pleasant. Remembering unpleasant moments where you messed up and disgraced yourself will be called remorse. But there are other memories that serve as lessons for later life. Such memories will be called an analysis of the events that occurred. And there are memories simply because there is nothing to do. I've probably listed all the cases of memories.

What to do to avoid living in the past?

Let's consider the algorithm of actions, so:

1. In the event of the loss of a loved one or separation, a person experiences deep depression and pain. Of course, you won’t be able to forget everything quickly, but you need to try to reduce this time. The main thing is to stop blaming yourself for this, figure it out, and evaluate it.
2. No matter how strange and stupid it may sound, take time to experience it. Let it be, for example, a week, two or three, a month. Spit out your emotions however you like, just without harming others, and then pull yourself together and let the situation go into the past.
3. You can mark this event with a tea party or a feast. The main thing is to decide for yourself that there is no more pain. You are starting a new life.
4. Don't go back to the past. As soon as it starts to tighten again, switch. Let's say, come up with your own fairy-tale world, town or village, where you will feel comfortable and calm, and return there.
5. Improve yourself. Keep yourself busy with a hobby or something you love. Go deeper into your profession, improve your skills.
6. Cheer yourself up. Remember yourself in your youth, when you were full of strength and confidence. Transfer that energy to the present, start new communication, get acquainted, enjoy life.

Concentrate exclusively on good memories, if you still can’t, focus on bright dreams. Of course, it is very difficult to learn to let go of the situation, forgive offenders and yourself, and not cling to the past. But you have to try. The past should serve only as an invaluable experience, and not become a source of troubles and bad mood.