Salary statuses

The main contradiction of our time: we still cannot work well, but we no longer want to earn poorly.

I determine the approach of payday not by the calendar, but by the growing echo in my wallet.

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The salary whispers - let's go somewhere. No, I tell her, stay at home, you’re still little.

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I practically live at work, but the salary is getting smaller. Apparently they started deducting for accommodation))

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We all live happily, because some people receive a ridiculous salary, while others laugh and pay it.

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With such a salary, I can only afford erotic dreams in relationships with women.

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I can’t understand some things: 1. Why does he sleep so sweetly during the day? 2. Why does it eat so deliciously at night? 3. Where does dust come from? 4. And where do the salaries go? ))))

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Do you want to admire the mysterious smile of the Mona Lisa? Then ask your wife where she put your salary.

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Many people complain that today they can buy less with their salary than yesterday. So what? But more than tomorrow...

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Every time I turn off my computer at work, I read: “Finish work,” but I also want the inscription: “Get your salary!”

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Good Grandfather Frost, beard made of cotton wool. Give everyone in the Kremlin and the Duma salaries like ours!

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I sold one hour of my life for $10 - it doesn't sound as nice as I earned $10 in an hour.

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Salaries have been cut again! Soon in the column “Total to be issued” instead of numbers it will be written: “Thank you for your work!”

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When a woman loves a man, she doesn't care how much he earns. She cares how much she gets!

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How to spend your salary? I'm not racking my brains! Half for rent, half for debts!

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Judging by teachers' salaries, our government consists of vindictive losers...

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If you want to be happy, learn to enjoy every little thing! For example, I am always happy when I receive a salary. It's a small thing, but nice.

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If you subtract housing rent, utilities, and the Internet from my salary, then I get a whole nichrome in my hands.

Funny statuses

Statuses about your salary, funny and ironic, will help hint to your boss that he doesn’t value you enough as a specialist.

I work like a horse, I get paid like a mouse, I get tired like an ox. Just a program “In the Animal World” represented by one person!
They say love lasts three years. But my salary lasts only three days.
Money spoils a person. My bosses care about me and prefer not to spoil things. This must be appreciated.
Little money, a lot of work. Everything in the world should be in harmony.
When I was at school, I dreamed that I would spend my wages on chocolates, chips and instant noodles. A dream come true. That's all there is to it.
I don’t live from paycheck to paycheck, from paycheck to “a week after paycheck.” And then I don’t live.
My boss apparently has trouble hearing. I asked for an increase in my salary, not the number of responsibilities.
If my work were valued adequately, I would receive millions.
I love my job. I believe that this is my calling. I am sure that the main thing is not money, but self-realization. I repeat this auto-training every time my salary arrives on the card.
The work is good. They pay little, but I don’t have time to eat, and there’s not enough money for entertainment. Nothing to complain about.
One day I will change jobs and start making huge money. I also believe in unicorns and Santa Claus.

Working paycheck to paycheck isn't that bad. Depends on the salary

1. At first, all we do is wait for our salary to arrive, and then we wonder why life goes by so quickly.

2. Those who survive are those who don’t go to wash it on the first day of their paycheck.

3. Everything will be fine. But, really, we just have to be patient. A little more and the salary will come.

4. What could be worse than a small salary? Yes, when she doesn’t come at all!

5. On payday, just like in childhood, it seems that you still have time to do everything.

6. Yesterday I was poor, and today I received money, and I can afford to buy normal pasta :D.

7. Stop asking everyone to borrow money. You either learn to save money or look for another job.

8. Colleagues, don’t leave me alone with my salary, otherwise I’ll destroy it all at once, D.

9. This is how it happens, you feel sad, and then your salary comes, and the sadness is gone.

10. Today is the salary. I think I'm going to burst with happiness!

11. Why? Well, why does the salary run out so quickly?

12. I miss my salary so much that I have even forgotten what dates it arrives on.

13. The phone should be such that it can be bought for one salary. I don’t understand your loans!

14. For me, is payday more important than the New Year?

15. You work like a horse, but it turns out that in order for the salary to be normal, you have to work even more!

16. I don’t need much. Just so that you can buy goodies the day before payday...

17. It’s sad to be an adult, especially when you have to give all the money to your wife.

18. That they gave you a salary, that they gave you change in the store, in my opinion, there is a small difference.

19. The weather whispers that it’s time to go for a walk, and the salary whispers that you need to save money. Moreover, he does not whisper, but speaks quite directly.

20. In Europe, tips are included in the price. That is, you also have to pay the waiter salaries :D.

21. Salary is a rather strange subject. It seems like everyone wants her, but not everyone loves her!

22. What if we just like to whine about how low our salary is?

23. The size of your salary depends only on how you feel about yourself, and nothing more.

24. Dachshund. The salary has already ended, but the month doesn’t want to end)).

25. I realized that the situation was very bad when the accountant came out of her closet and asked for a loan.

26. If you work two jobs, then maybe you will have a lot of money. But there won’t be time to waste them anyway :D.

Lots of work, little money

Statuses about salary and work will help show that you are not satisfied with all aspects of your life.

The more time I spend at work, the less I feel like I don’t have enough money. I think I have found the perfect solution to the problem.
I’m reading how much a young specialist of my age should earn. Either I’m not young, or I’m not a specialist, or my boss didn’t read this.
Slavery is back. It seems like you are working, but you only have enough for food and a roof over your head.
I work so much that I don’t have time to go for an interview at another office. And I earn so little that I don’t always have the money to travel to another office. I think my boss has an evil plan.
As you sank, so it worked, they said before. This explains a lot, because I have a sedentary job.
So what if they don't pay enough? But I work a lot.
I love my job. Colleagues are nice, management is understanding, wages... exist.
I dream of climbing the career ladder. But there’s so much work that I literally don’t have time to get up.
I am a simple state employee. On a limited budget.
They said that if I studied well, I would get a lot of money. I studied well. I'm starting to understand that I was deceived.

While the plumber Sidorov was walking home, inflation ate, drank and partially hid his salary.

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The simple wisdom of the Russian people will never cease to amaze me! It is impossible to earn all the money, but it is possible to drink all the money!

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I watched the news, got upset, and decided to close all my accounts in Cyprus. Then I remembered that I didn’t have any accounts there, and I became even more upset.

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Money is evil. Money can not buy happiness. He who is strong in spirit is rich. How else can you calm yourself down before you get your salary?

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The PARIS DAKAR distance is nonsense. The distance ADVANCE SALARY is where the test lies!

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And why is everyone eager to get this higher education? Here in our office of 25 people, only two have higher education - a technician and a plumber.

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Three stages of poverty: 1. No money; 2. no money at all; 3. You will have to change dollars.

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I came to work to work. And not to answer stupid questions - why am I sleeping here drunk.

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Today I came to work in the morning, and the boss called me in and gave me a scolding for no reason whatsoever! Then I had to struggle all day so that justice would prevail.

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Chief to his subordinate: Ivanov, you are fired! Fired?! It’s strange, it seemed to me that slaves were being sold.

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Vacation for Russians lasts two months, since they spend two weeks preparing for vacation and two weeks leaving it

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Today the boss gathered everyone and called everyone from his cell phone. He listened carefully to the melodies that we set for his call. There will be no bonus.

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The hardest thing for women to get a job! Everyone needs 18-year-old girls with 30 years of experience, two degrees and grown children!

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The stupid habit of waking up in the morning and going to work kills no worse than cigarettes and vodka, but it does not bring pleasure at all.

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Every security guard dreams of retiring so he can just watch TV and do crossword puzzles all day long.

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I borrowed money from my best friends. I bought a new iPhone. I stopped communicating with these rogues.

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According to the results of a sociological survey, the most popular printed publication among the people is money.

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Pain, screams, pleas for mercy and justice. Agony and universal sadness. All this fits into three words: work tomorrow

Cool statuses

Cool salary statuses will help show that you deserve more and have a great sense of humor.

With my salary you can either cry constantly or laugh constantly. I decided to choose the second option.
I make ridiculous money, so I have an excellent sense of humor.
The money I receive is enough to get to work and not die of hunger.
Everything small brings joy. Kittens, puppies, babies... My salary, finally. As soon as it comes to the map, I begin to cry with emotion.
With a salary like mine, I should not work, but even do a little harm.
Revolutions begin when the difference in income between the richest and the poorest exceeds tens of times. I feel that soon my colleagues and I will go to work on accounting to the sounds of “La Marseillaise.”
No, money definitely spoils a person. I'm that good. And my boss is definitely spoiled.
Do I want to get more? Of course I want. I also want summer to last all year round. These are desires of approximately the same order.
I came to my boss to ask for an increase in my salary. For some reason he laughed for a long time. Apparently, I can get into stand-up.
I get enough. Enough to keep you going until your next paycheck.
Money, of course, is not the main thing. The chief told us so at the planning meeting. And for some reason he smiled insidiously.

Statuses about salary and work

Previously, I wanted to go to work at least twice a month. And then they introduced bank cards.

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There are two types of wages: the one that shines, but does not warm, and the one that warms, but does not shine.

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The salary whispers - let's go somewhere. No, I say, stay at home, you're still young.

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I gave my boss an ultimatum: either he raises my salary or I quit. We came to a compromise: he doesn’t raise my salary, I don’t quit!

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I really enjoyed my last job, but my mom said it was impossible to work as a couch driver all my life.

Decent reward

Sometimes people still receive decent pay for their work. Share your thoughts on this matter to motivate your friends to change their lives for the better and follow your example.

It's nice when your efforts are appreciated.
I believe that everyone can earn a decent living. You just need to not sit still and look for people who will appreciate your talents and skills.
Until you allow yourself to receive big money, you will live in poverty.
I cannot afford to be a poor person.
Money is not the main thing. The most important thing is to realize yourself. If this succeeds, the money will appear by itself!
If you agree to work for pennies, you will be treated like a slave. Remember that you have self-esteem!
Not only talented people, but also persistent people earn good money. Develop your will and don’t be afraid of change.
Until you believe in yourself, no one will believe in you.
Constant development is the key to success and financial well-being.
I notice that most poor people are simply too lazy to look for themselves and develop their talents. It is sad.
Everyone complains about low wages, but you rarely hear complaints about your own laziness, fear of change and indecisiveness. It’s better to realize what’s stopping you from being rich than to whine and suffer all your life.

Unhappy with your salary? Don't be afraid to say it directly or start looking for a place where you will be appreciated! Change your life for the better and don’t forget that money is not the most important thing.

*** Previously, the Internet distracted from work, now work from the Internet... *** I have work experience, I’m looking for SALARY experience! *** There is such a profession - sitting at work!!! ***Two weeks until payday…..and there’s nothing left to poop with….. ***I’m looking for a salary provider. Please do not disturb employers!... *** A person is never as close to perfection as when filling out a job application. *** Working is not a woman’s job! A woman must go to work to show off her new dresses! *** Nothing makes you rush to work like the boss’s car in the rearview mirror. *** ATTENTION... Announcement... Children conceived at a corporate party are not employees of the organization!!! *** Going to work as if it were a holiday... jingling shackles merrily. *** Who is looking for work: schedule 2/5, salary 75,000-100,000, vacation 52 days...... Call!!! We'll look together!!))) *** Gasoline has risen in price, and so has vodka. The rent and fines were increased... It’s good that the salary was not increased. At least some stability... *** I can’t watch others work, I’ll go lie down... *** How hard it is to work when there is no boss. I don’t even go smoking, I’m afraid I’ll go home! *** If my boss saw how I work on myself in the morning to get out of bed, he would increase my salary!!! =))) *** What do you do at work? — I want to go home... *** If you don’t feel like working for the third day in a row, then today is Wednesday. *** Yesterday I was looking for justice - today I’m looking for a job. *** If in the morning there is no sex, no affection and love, do something nasty at work so that you get fucked all day. *** Still, I have willpower... I want to work :) But I won’t. *** Doing nonsense in the workplace develops hearing, alertness and peripheral vision!!! *** Don’t feel like going to work in the morning? Open Forbes magazine and find your name there. Didn't find it? Then fuck off to work!!! *** You won’t be able to tell the size of a man’s salary from his watch. His salary can be seen by his wife's clothes! *** Only our people can be so happy about sick leave! *** The quality of our work is revenge for the amount of money in the salary. *** Comment on the photo: “The boss has returned from vacation. Tanned. Became even more like shit.” *** Notice a pattern? The more work you do, the less you pay for it. That's why rich people are in power. *** I love work... I could watch it for hours... *** - We looked at your resume, and you know, somehow I wasn’t impressed. - And I saw your charade, and you know, somehow it’s not Gazprom either. *** I was told that if you smile often, life will get better... after a day of work, the boss told me: “If you come to work one more time smoking, I’ll fire you.” *** Today we received a salary. A colleague looked at the balance and sadly said, “Soon in the column “available balance” instead of numbers it will be written “thank you for your work!” *** In Holland you are allowed not to go to work if you have a bad feeling. *** Great work is when you are half an hour late, you meet your boss, and he says that you are great, that you are first today! ***What about your personal life? Didn't someone regular show up? - The only permanent thing for now is work - it feeds me, it also fucks me. *** Soon we have our paycheck again... Five minutes at the ATM... One hour in the store... again we have no money! *** The best job is a highly paid hobby. *** If your boss always swears at your lateness, say that you are a night owl. To be convincing, bulge your eyes terribly and eat a vole mouse. *** I immediately realized that this was a good company when, upon arriving for an interview, I saw one of the employees roll out a scooter from behind the closet and ride it down the corridor to the toilet. *** When leaving work... try not to run!)) *** - He was fired because when the director farted, he could not resist asking him: “Is this our corporate spirit?” *** Who do I work with? They seem to be serious people. A healthy fly flew into the room... They chased it with all their support... They caught it, locked it in the closet - now the fly lives with us and her name is Mashenka))) *** Today she came out with work to smoke. put on a jacket. about ten minutes later, on the way home, a thought arose - I forgot my bag at work! CRAP!!! JOB!!! The director and the clients who came up were perplexed... *** A good salary is when you need to get the next one, but you haven’t spent the previous one yet. *** God!!! Punish me with a big salary!!! Let me suffer, thinking about what to spend it on... *** The best way to feel like a free person at work is to come to the office in torn jeans for lunch... Sit for an hour at your workplace, and then tell everyone bye - I'm home, and proudly leave under the envious glances of your colleagues! In general, you can afford a lot on vacation!)))) *** Rather than argue with everyone... it’s better to hit one... Statuses about work, statuses at work *** Work, work - forward to Fedot, from Fedot to Yakov, from Yakov to everyone! *** The boss wants us to work for three. It's good that there are five of us. *** The work is not a wolf, but a rabbit. He won’t run into the forest, but he’ll fuck you... *** Do you want a vacation, but don’t have enough money for a trip? Donate with the whole department for a trip for the boss, relax! *** -Why is it good to work in a large team??? -Because there is someone to steal your joint on!!!! *** A real girl is not the one with long legs and size 5 breasts, but the one who can tighten any bolt in the house, without the help of a man! *** It’s so strange: I work so much, but I still look like a fresh, rested horse. *** No, of course I understand that he is the boss. But they will obey the person who recently ran after you around the yard with a plastic pistol...))) *** In our country, everything is PAID: To be born!, To study!, To be treated!, To die! — Is there anything for FREE??? - Yes... Work!!! *** I love my job. I'll come here on Saturday. And, of course, on Sunday. Here I will celebrate my birthday, New Year, March 8th. I'll spend the night here tomorrow. If I don’t get sick, I don’t snap, I don’t go wild. Here I will meet all sunrises, all sunsets and greetings. The horses are dying from work. Well, I’m... an immortal pony. *** I came to work to work. And not answer stupid questions - why am I sleeping here drunk? *** I want to work in the opera... I came... I screamed... and that’s it... I went home... =))) *** Only in RUSSIA can a person study for a fee, get treatment for a fee and work for free!!!!!!! *** Yesterday the director told me: “Don’t smile, I can’t scold you when you smile.” *** And in general, my bra unfastens at the most unfortunate moments. You sit in front of the client, one awkward movement and a characteristic click. Women smile with understanding, but men completely forget what they were talking about. :)) *** It seems to me that the boss looks at me and thinks: “This device can work faster.” *** Somehow the salary has recently begun to resemble change... *** Picture at work: director: well, remove the toy so that I don’t see it anymore! I’m sitting and thinking, I’m too lazy to delete it - I go and delete the game shortcut from the desktop and look into the eyes of the director. Director: “Are you really taking me for a fool, huh?!” Remove from cart!” *** The President said that on average a person working in Russia earns 27,000 rubles. I wonder if I don’t work or I’m not a person... or maybe I’m not in Russia at all... *** Favorite phrase of the bosses: THERE ARE NO IRREPLACEABLE PEOPLE! but as soon as it’s your turn to go on vacation, you’re the only one!!! *** Work is not a wolf. And rest is not a wolf. Actually, it’s not a wolf at all. Only a wolf is a wolf. *** Well, why do you want to sleep all the working hours and you get knocked out every 15 minutes, and when you come home, you’ve already had enough sleep??? *** I created a sabotage at work - I brought iris “Kis-Kis” (Soviet, reinforced concrete). Now no one talks to me... NO ONE TALKS TO ANYONE AT ALL! =))) *** With my salary, I have to come to work, say hello and... leave!!! *** Got a job. They told me to forget everything I learned at the institute. IT WOULD BE SOMETHING TO FORGET!!! *** I do not join any organizations that make me a member. *** The boss’s contact status is: “Sick” and 17 people have already pressed the “like” button. *** The management thinks that they are paying money... let them think that I am working. *** Did you build houses from stools and blankets as a child? *** Nobody killed him! He has already arrived dead! *** If you work hard for eight hours a day, you will eventually become a boss and have the right to work twelve hours a day. *** Friday the 13th is not as scary as Monday the 13th!!! =))) *** The main work in our lives is working on ourselves. We must truly believe and abide by the principles we teach our children. *** Those who do not work are successfully married! *** Why do many people not like bosses? Because there is nothing more annoying than when you are working and someone next to you is doing nothing! *** I want my job to be a wolf, for this I am ready to live next to the forest! Statuses about work, statuses at work *** My boss hasn’t talked to me for three days because I wrote “monster corporation” in the contact at my place of work! *** Let's say “NO” to salaries in envelopes! Let's say “YES” to salaries in parcels, or better yet in bags!!! *** I’m going into the office today. What the hell, everyone notices me, everyone says hello... I sit down at the computer, for sure! There is no Internet. *** It's good to work two jobs! Lots of money! But not because they pay a lot, but because there is no time to spend... *** The end of the work week is a small orgasm! *** - I miss my old job... - where did you work before? - Nowhere. *** How we get paid is HARD! The way we work is REVENGE... *** We have such a problem with all our projects that the cleaning lady was named employee of the month.. *** I love weekends. You can get to work quickly and without traffic jams. Fuck... *** Congratulate me... I got the boss's chair today! They just brought him a new one... and I took the old one... =))) *** Work is a place where you want to eat in the morning. After lunch, go to bed. And all the time I feel like it’s time to go home!!! *** What could be nicer than a loving husband who massages your feet and is interested in how your day at work went?! *** It seems like everything has worked out: I got a job, bought a cool car, paid off the mortgage, saved money for Thailand, and bam... and you’re 80 years old! *** I wrote my resume. I printed it out. I re-read it. I burst into tears. What a wonderful person I am! *** Oh!!! Wow, what a tiny beauty!!! How pretty!!! Is this my salary?! Wow!!! ...Give me two!!! *** Even the most superstitious person will never refuse his thirteenth salary. *** Favorite phrase of the bosses: “There are no irreplaceable workers,” but as soon as your vacation approaches, you immediately become INDEPENDABLE!!! *** I am looking for a job from 13.00 to 14.00, with an hour break for lunch. *** Go to work like a seal - you won’t drive them away! And from work, like a deer, you’ll catch up with horseradish! =)) *** I work for you part-time, so please shout at me in a low voice! *** Explanatory note: I was late for work because I stood in a stupor for an hour and a half with my mouth open, looking at the thermometer. *** How many people work in your department? - With the boss, five. - And without a boss? - And no one works without a boss!!! Statuses about work, statuses at work