Statuses about work - funny, meaningful

Here I am sitting, looking at the ants for three days. No meetings, no planning sessions. And they do work!

It’s difficult for men to work in a female team: if he pesters, they’ll say he’s a womanizer... if he doesn’t, they’ll say he’s impotent.

Work is a place where you want to eat in the morning. After lunch - go to bed. And all the time I feel like it’s time to go home.

4.5 / 5 ( 4 voices)

This can only happen here: you are at work and think “Where can I get money from...”

Labor made a tired monkey out of a monkey.

The work is not a wolf, but a rabbit. He doesn’t run away into the forest, but fades away...

Work is not money! It doesn't end!!!

Cool statuses about work

Labor and only labor has made man gloomy and hunchbacked...

Doing crap in the workplace develops peripheral vision, hearing and alertness in general...

If you spat in your boss's face, then it's time to wake up

How quickly time flies: you don’t even have time to wake up and you’re already late for work.

Miser pays twice! I'll go work for the stingy one!

The job requires an employee with experience on the job.

I think I’m pregnant... I’m sick of work and drawn to the salty sea))))))

If you can’t give birth to a thought for a long time, the boss will come and perform a caesarean section.

I have study experience, I have work experience, I want more salary experience...

And he lived happily ever after... until he went to work

DAMN..I WANT A JOB LIKE SANTA’S CLAUS…..IN A DAY IN 364

We work with u.porn! Without resting your hands! There's a lot to do! A mouth full of worries! (What pervert came up with this?) =)))

We are not afraid of work, we do not run away from work. There is no work, we go to bed; We have work, we also sleep.

If you don’t feel like working for the third day in a row, it means it’s Wednesday.

Only in Russia, when asked: “What are you doing?” you can hear the answer: “Nothing, I’m working”

I plow like this... the horses turn around

What do you do at work? - I want to go home!

- Where are you now? - In the Underworld. - I understand, when you leave work, dial.

You work, you work. and bam. you get fired... and the question is, why the hell should you work?

A smoked cigarette shortens your life by 2 hours, a drunk bottle of vodka shortens your life by 3. A working day shortens your life by 8 hours.

In an interesting job you see interesting dreams.

The boss wants us to work for three people. It's good that there are five of us.

Horses are dying from work, but I’m an immortal pony!

I still can’t figure it out: do I have a job, or does my job have me?..

If you want to work, lie down, sleep and everything will pass

I still have willpower! I want to work, but I won’t!

If you're bored at work, add up your salary for the last year in your head. Now, now you are not only bored, but also sad. ...

As soon as you start working, someone will wake you up

What's the worst thing in Russia? To work... It can be even worse to get up for work... And even worse is to go to bed early, because tomorrow you have to get up for work...

“- Previously there was free education and free medicine, but what now? - Free work."

Go to work or sleep? — Sleep or go to work? - I’ll go to work and sleep!

Have you ever eaten dumplings in the shower? Yes, you just never were late for work!

Labor made a tired monkey out of a monkey

Do you know how to relax with the whole team on one trip? Drop in and buy a ticket for the boss.

Clever words

Quotes from great people about your favorite job that you want to remember.

Every business needs workers, but workers don't care about the business, they only care about the salary.
A good boss will not interfere with work.
I turn to my alarm clock: “Please stop calling me! I don’t want anything to do with you anymore!”
The less work you have, the more harm you do.
Women prevent their men from working because they hate competition... even with work.
The desire to work, like appetite, comes in the process. The main thing is to start, and then everything will go like clockwork.
Screw alarm clocks, screw bosses! Hurray, remote!
The hardest job is to look stunning from morning until night.
I urgently need someone who will pay me! I don’t promise to work...
The secret of big companies is that they find smart people and give them the opportunity to make money.
Oh, how cute, how small! My lovely salary, I love it!
There is a golden rule: if you don’t want to work on your own, don’t interfere with others’ work!
When I see how much work I have done, I immediately remember how much is left...
Note to effective managers: bees are ideal workers and never make mistakes.

Statuses about work with meaning

The longest end is at the working day.

It's hard for me to work when there is no boss. I don’t even go smoking, I’m afraid I’ll go home.

Labor ennobles a person and enriches the employer

It was a good week - in five working days I only wanted to quit three times!

Man was created for happiness, but he has to work...

Features of national work: the more you do today, the more you will have to redo tomorrow!

Every day it becomes more and more difficult to work, and leaving is more and more joyful...

Only two incentives force people to work: the thirst for wages and the fear of losing it.

Do what you like - and there will never be a single working day in your life.

Allergy to work is treated by increasing the dose of salary.

A person can do anything until he starts doing something.

Idleness is the result of automation of mental work.

The management thinks that they are paying us a salary... Let them think that we are working!

People are ready to do anything for money. Even to work.

I didn't go to work because I thought I was going out...

If you don't work, you have nothing to live on. If you work, you have no time to live.

You don’t want to go to work on Monday in two cases: if you didn’t have time to rest well over the weekend, and if you had time to rest well over the weekend

It’s good not to work - I wanted to go to bed and sleep. I wanted a new bag - I lay down to sleep, I want to eat - I lay down to sleep...

If you make eight mistakes in the word “WORK”, you get the word “INTERNET”...

Anything worth having in life is worth working for.

I love work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at her for hours.

I study and work. I combine the unpleasant with the useless.

The best job is a highly paid hobby.

Previously, the Internet distracted from work, now work distracts from the Internet...

The director has arrived. He himself does not work and prevents others from working.

When an employer is looking for a wizard, most often he finds a storyteller.

You can lose everything you have - a house, a car, a job, a bank account, but as long as you know how to earn money, you are able to return it all and even increase it.

All over the world they work in such a way as to deserve a bonus. And only we work in such a way that it is not deprived of it.

In a conversation with your superiors, it is important to agree with reason that you are wrong.

How much has not been done, and how much remains to be done.

I love my job

Cool and funny quotes about your favorite job, which brings only positive things.

The greatest joy in my life is my work. After all, it is thanks to work that I can not work!
How unfair time is... it seems like you just woke up and you’re already late for work!
Work is not a wolf... a fence will not be enough to get rid of it.
Why have I been forced to work my whole life?! Let someone force me to rest at least once...
If I don’t want to work, I don’t work. God bless remote work!
In an ideal world, bosses have the right to assign only tasks that they themselves are capable of completing...
Have you noticed that the smarter a person is, the more pleasant he is to talk to, but also the more obnoxious his work colleague?
The main thing in my work is that everything works. And whether someone likes it or not is the tenth question.
If we talk about the size of salaries, then most people go to work solely out of great love...
You cannot forbid someone who loves to work well to live well!
The more exciting the work, the more colorful and interesting the dreams you have while doing it!
I really wanted to stay at my previous job, but my father says that you can’t work as a sofa driver all your life...
Your favorite job is the kind of job that you are only willing to exchange for the woman you love.
You can judge the level of an employee by the quality of the explanations he finds for his tardiness.

Statuses about your favorite job

Your favorite job is when you go there with joy, like going to the refrigerator.

I love my job! Yes - yes, a little self-hypnosis won't hurt.

Today the boss gathered everyone and called everyone from his cell phone. I listened carefully to the melodies that we set for his call... There will be no bonus.

Great work is when you’re half an hour late, you meet your boss, and he tells you: you’re great, you’re the first to arrive today!

““The work we love rises early, and we take it up with joy.” William Shakespeare”

I worked hard today, and realized that today was Friday only when at 4 o’clock the director ran away shouting “Whoever is last is a sucker!”

Your favorite job is when you sleep for four hours, then work from nine in the morning until ten at night and you feel not tired, but happy.

The most important part of the job

Short quotes with meaning about your favorite job and the rest that everyone needs.

It seems to me that the main problem with most workers is that they pay for time, and not for the work done...
If you want to rest more, you will have to work more.
I tried to work, really... but again I accidentally went online.
If work is not a joy, then you need to do something about it, and not complain and engage in self-criticism!
If the boss turned out to be wrong, then he is either not a real boss, or you no longer work there...
Work has never harmed anyone... But why take such risks?!
You need to work at work, and not play at the coffee shop - then the result will come.
I hate suffering from idleness when there is no work - because it turns out that I am suffering from idleness in vain!
Those who live well are not lazy to work.
A successful compliment at work triples the employee’s efficiency!
Living well means working well. Because without movement, even the most ideal mechanism begins to rust.
Sleep is a thing that is never enough. But for some reason there is always a lot of work...
To work with your head in the office, you first need to work well with your elbows on the bus...
Don't force your employer to force you to work...

Statuses about new work

I love my new job... Three stacks of papers. The first one needs to be done urgently, the second one needs to be done very urgently, and the third one needs to be done yesterday!

A person is closest to perfection in those moments when he fills out an application form when applying for a job...

- No, I won’t get a job there, it seems to me that this job is shit. - Why do you think so? — They have five people there with the last name Mukhin.

My new job is a place where the morning begins with a cup of aromatic coffee and ends with a twitching eye and a desire to kill!

Yesterday I was looking for justice - today I was looking for a new job.

No money for new clothes? Change your job! At your new job, your old clothes will be like new!

About the team at work

When you find yourself in a new team, it is impossible to know in advance which of the people will turn out to be a bastard. Therefore, just in case, I hate everyone in advance.

When the boss gets sick, a healthy atmosphere reigns in the team.

In order to identify the leader in an unfamiliar team, pay attention to whose desktop there is an air conditioner remote control.

There are times when people mistake collective stink for unity of spirit.

Teamwork is very important. It allows you to shift the blame onto someone else.

When going to corporate events, remember that you still have to work with these people...

It happens that one honest person prevents the entire team from considering themselves decent.

If you spit on the team, the team will wipe out. If the team spits on you, you will drown.

A corporate event is a success - it’s when you walk into work to the whistling and applause of your team.

The devil pulled me to add my boss as a friend on Odnoklassniki... right now we’re sitting at work shooting at each other...

If there is alcohol left after drinking, it means there is a problem within the team.

Don't get along in the team!? Become a boss, then the team will have to get along with you!

When joining a team, it is not at all necessary to dissolve in it.

Consolidation of efforts is when the merits of the entire team are attributed to the leader.

Sometimes it is enough to fire one person to make the whole team happy.

Laugh!!! One of our company’s vacancies says “The team consists mainly of good people”!!!

And I love the women’s team... such a beautiful, colorful ball of snakes.

In some communities, as in a forest, the loudest noise is made by the oak trees.

What a team! One goes around pretending to be smart so that they get paid more... the second pretends to be a fool so that they can work less...

“Back to work” statuses

I went back to work after vacation, I feel like children in kindergarten - I want to cry and go home!

Learning is light. And ignorance is a little light on work...

It seems like life has just started to get better, and then it’s time for you to go back to work after your vacation! And nothing can be done about it!

Should I go to work? I thought about it and didn’t go.

- Why do people watch the news all the time? - What if something happens that you won’t have to go to work tomorrow?

I don’t know how normal people are, but I come home from work, blink, and go back to work!

How quickly time flies: you don’t even have time to wake up and you’re already late for work.

Don't want to go to work again in the morning? Open Forbes magazine and find your name there. Didn't find it? Then fuck off to work...

- Get up, bunny, it's time for you to go to work! - Today I’m a fish, I don’t have legs, and I’m not going anywhere!!!

Working after vacation is the worst thing that could happen in my life.

What a pain, what a pain, tomorrow I have to go to work at 8.00...

I decided not to set the alarm. Let the Lord decide whether I should go to work or not...

Laughter sometimes through tears

Funny statuses about work arise in two cases – you’re happy with everything or you’re tired of suffering at work. Then you just want to joke and relieve stress from something you don’t like. Statuses about work with funny meaning are suitable:

What do you want, brothers, to not get to work at least once!
At work we are either horses or ponies.
The way home after a shift is the path to the refrigerator and the sofa.
Morning, computer, boss, evening, home, eat and morning again...
Nothing clouds reality more than strict discipline and limited space.
I have claustrophobia and constantly want to escape from the office.
A mysterious Russian soul rushes around the office in search of the seashore.
Increase labor productivity - find an additional incentive to love your job.
I walk around the dark office, wondering what I will lose, what I will find.
Losing time at work shortens pleasant feelings.
Only your boss’s salary depends on your efforts.
Work well - when will it come in handy?
When you have overtime, your boss is happy somewhere on the couch.
We will fulfill the plan and exceed it, as long as we have enough for the trip to the office.
There is never too much money, but there is not enough every paycheck.

Statuses about dismissal from work

Yesterday we had a shortened day at work and I was laid off...

Fired for lack of family ties with the CEO...

So much work, no time to write a resignation letter!

I ask that you reinstate me at my previous job, since I was not consulted when I was fired.

The bank I was fired from three years ago bought the bank I work for now and I was fired again. Was that really the only reason they bought it?

“The correct resignation letter to the boss: “I ask you to resign of your own free will””

Once you write your resignation letter, it turns out that you are a smart, capable and promising employee...

Don’t forget that position comes from the word “duty,” work comes from the word “slave,” and dismissal comes from the word “will”!

Serve your boss? No, excuse me. And I was fired...

“But I’m not like some! How can I go now and tell my boss everything I think about him! But the record of voluntary dismissal will be added to the labor record...)))”

People most often write from dictation at their own request.

A proposal was received to nominate me. Out the door.