Statuses about drinking, partying. What to put on status after drinking? Funny and cheerful statuses.

A collection of the best sayings about alcohol by great people, as well as comedians and movie characters.

Still from the film “Gangster Hunters”

Alcoholic drinks have long been an integral part of human life, helping us celebrate victories, forget defeats and, alas, quite often causing addiction.

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  11 signs of alcohol addiction and tips on how to stop drinking on your own (it's time to quit, bro) List of signs of alcohol addiction and tips on how to stop drinking on your own.

It is not surprising that over the past centuries, famous thinkers and creators have composed many aphorisms about alcohol. Some of them are funny, others are thought-provoking, and almost all of them are ideal for saying as a toast, instead of the banal “We will.”

So, below are the “best of the best” quotes that are worth adding to your collection.

Quotes about alcohol from great writers and politicians

Still from the film “Midnight in Paris”

And our selection opens with a “golden” reserve of statements from the most famous political businessmen and writers.

1. “Always do sober what you promised to do drunk. It will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Writer Ernest Hemingway.

2. “There is wisdom in wine, freedom in beer, bacteria in water,” politician Benjamin Franklin.

3. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy,” politician Benjamin Franklin.

4. “I drink to make other people more interesting,” writer Ernest Hemingway.

5.

The main advantage of alcohol is that under its influence a person is unable to keep a mask on. The soul begins to speak

© poet Sergei Yesenin

6. “Let's drink to alcohol, rose-colored glasses of life,” writer F. Scott Fitzgerald.

7. “Sometimes drinking too much can barely last,” writer Mark Twain.

8. “I can’t live without champagne. After victory I deserve it, and after defeat I need it,” politician Winston Churchill.

Gentlemen prefer it "hot"

Winston Churchill is truly a legend. His merits in the political field are undeniable, while he managed to achieve success in other areas of life far from public service: he received the Nobel Prize in Literature, painted pictures, and his witty statements remain popular to this day. So what did Churchill say about alcohol, a constant companion throughout his life?

• “I got a lot more out of alcohol than it managed to take from me.”
• “First - champagne, and business - later.”
• “When I was young, I always adhered to one rule - not to take a drop of alcohol into my mouth before lunch. Today I am no longer young and adhere to the rule of not drinking at least until breakfast.”
• “Good cognac is like a woman. Don’t rush to take it by storm: first caress it in your hands, warm it, and only then bring it to your lips.”
• “I have everything I need for life: a hot bath, chilled champagne, fresh peas and old cognac.”

By the way, after Winston Churchill first tried Armenian cognac “Dvin”, it became his favorite drink, consumed with enviable regularity. Some time later, Churchill complained to Joseph Stalin that the “nectar of the gods” had lost its usual taste. It turned out that the master of the blend, Margar Sedrakyan, was exiled to Siberia. Thus, thanks to Churchill, the master blender was not only reinstated, but also awarded the title of Hero of Socialist Labor.

Winston Churchill always knew how to enjoy life, which is partly why cigars and alcohol became his constant companions in life

Quotes about whiskey

Still from the TV series “Californication”

In thousands of existing aphorisms about alcohol, a variety of alcoholic drinks are mentioned, but most often they are wine, champagne, beer and... whiskey.

If you and your friends are just about to enjoy a glass of this strong drink, then here are quotes that may come in handy.

9. “I'm on a whiskey diet. I’ve already lost three days,” comedian Tommy Cooper.

10. “Does love make the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it spin twice as fast,” writer Compton McKenzie.

11.

Whiskey is liquid sunshine

© writer George Bernard Shaw

12. “There is no such thing as bad whiskey. There are just some whiskeys that aren't as good as others." - Writer Raymond Chandler.

1. Beer PIT is not vodka ZHRAT 2. Two bottles are enough, but three is tempting. 3. Drinking to someone else’s health while losing your own - how selfless that is! 4. Girl, you smell so nice... What did you drink today?... 5. No one can bring us to our knees! We lay, and we will lie! (c) 6. Loving vodka, freebies, revolutions and being an asshole is not enough 7. to be called Russian. 8. The soul asks for pineapples in champagne, the body requires vodka. 9. Oh, how much we didn’t drink. 10. You can't pour much from a bottle. 11. The vodka was still fresh... 12. “Drinking a bottle of vodka is not difficult. It’s much more difficult, comrades, to keep it within yourself!” 13. “If you stop drinking, you will immediately want to eat.” 14. Every person has the right to his own gloomy morning. 15. A derivative of drunkenness is drunkenness for rented dishes. 16. A glass of vodka... This number scares me. 17. We know the measure, but will you drink it? 18. He looked at the world through the eyes of a man sent for vodka... 19. It all started culturally, I don’t remember how it ended. 20. How does a Russian drink? First he drinks what he wants; then what can; and finally what is left. 21. Only fools drink because they have nothing better to do. Smart people will always find a reason. 22. You need to drink to the extent of your physical capabilities, not your financial capabilities. 23. In what other country is alcohol stored in armored safes, and the “nuclear button” is stored in a plastic suitcase? 24. If, looking in the mirror in the morning, you see a swollen, unshaven face with a dull look, it means that the day before yesterday you decided to drink 50 grams for your appetite. 25. An alcoholic is a person who knows exactly what he wants. 26. Excerpt from the menu: Non-alcoholic cocktail “Bewilderment” (200ml) 400 rub. 27. Alcohol is not a sport for weak people; and only through daily grueling training can you achieve results... 28. Brine - the drink of tomorrow! 29. If you drink wisely, the mind will turn off first. 30. If we are expelled from the institute, we will hand over the bottles and enroll in paid education. 31. Gentlemen! We don't bathe in your toilets. Please don't pee in our pool. (Dick Francis) 32. It is better to leave your salary in a pub than in a pharmacy. 33. In Russia, the cup of patience is measured in glasses. 34. German national proverb: “There is no Morgen guten” 35. Let’s hit alcoholism with drunkenness! 36. They don’t like vodka...they drink it... 37. A bottle of beer - and how life changes! 38. You need to come out of vacation, as well as from binge drinking, gradually. 39. Even very dark glasses will not hide the smell of fumes... 40. Today you look like I feel. 41. A student can only be given two diagnoses: pre-session psychosis and post-session binge drinking. 42. A real man in his life must build a wife, grow a belly and plant a liver. 43. Love rules the world. For example, I like to drink... 44. Vodka doesn’t spoil if it sits for a long time, but it’s better not to take risks. 45. As the degrees increase, even the angles become dull. 46. If a hangover is not treated, it goes away in one day. If you treat - in ten... 47. Half a liter of good mood 48. Dried fruit - the revenge of grapes. 49. The ideal degree of intoxication is when you are already singing, but not yet falling. 50. There is wisdom in wine, strength in beer, and microbes in water. 51. A man should be a little sloppy! Either the fly is unzipped, or the sleeve is covered in shit 52. You can acquire life wisdom in three ways: read smart books, watch how wise people act, urinate on a bare live wire. 53. To eat is to eat in a crude, perverted form. 54. The taste of a pinch of salt can be improved by throwing it into a mug of beer. 55. There were simple potatoes - they became golden, there were simple mushrooms - they became golden, there was a simple fish - they became golden. We barely saved the vodka! 56. Half a liter of good mood: 57. What is snow to me, what is heat to me What is torrential rain to me, When I go on a binge! 58. If a hangover is not treated, it goes away in one day. If you treat - in ten... 59. In our country, people are divided into those who throw away bottles and those who collect them. 60. Champagne from a shoe, this is not vodka from kirzach... 61. They say there is such an animal - a camel, which can not drink for a month... 62. For tea and coffee lovers: A strong drink should be transparent! 63. Vodka has performed an unacceptable operation...will be unloaded 64. An adult is one who understates, rather than exaggerates, the amount of drinking the day before. 65. Dark beer is better than a bright future! 66. Professor of Philology: - Give an example of a question so that the answer sounds like a refusal, and at the same time - like an agreement. Student: - It's simple! “Will you drink vodka?” - “Oh, leave it!” 67. The best cosmetics for a woman is a bottle of vodka for a man. This means the best domestically produced cosmetics. 68. Inspired by one of the drinking sessions: I come home and don’t know which way to turn towards the toilet. Sent by Andrey Bochkarev ( [email protected] ) 69. Homo buhiens is a person who drinks. Buho sapiens is a reasonable drunk. 70. It’s easy to quit drinking, but it’s hard to convince friends of this. 71. I bet the bubble that I will drink it!!! 72. Darling, you become more and more beautiful with every glass. 73. Singing in the thorns, vomiting in the gooseberries... 74. There is no third option.... Well, let's get drunk together. Posted by (c) Yuri 75. A toast at work should be short, like a lunch break. 76. The very first problem of 2000 was a hangover on the morning of January 1, 2000. 77. Russian vodka. Don’t let yourself dry out... 78. And the Motherland generously watered me... 79. Napoleon went crazy when he found out that he was cognac 80. It’s good to be a battleship. The tower was demolished, four remained 81. After non-alcoholic beer you feel deceived 82. Non-alcoholic beer is the first step to a rubber woman. 83. Relieving a hangover using the customer’s material 84. Calling an alcoholic interlocutor to your home 85. I seem to have given up drinking, but it doesn’t get any better 86. In a glass of vodka, an optimist sees 40% alcohol, and a pessimist sees 60% water... 87. If science wins alcoholism, people will stop respecting each other... 88. Hey guys, where are you from? - We?! Yes, we will even be out of our throats! 89. A quickly drunk glass is not considered poured 90. That’s what’s bad about drinking vodka in the morning - it will be difficult to spend the day in a varied way 91. Yesterday I got so drunk that I don’t remember anything; but the most offensive thing is that I don’t remember drinking... 92. Do I really drink? This is how I... make it worse... 93. When you drink, you need to know when to stop. Otherwise, you risk drinking less. 94. Red wine is good for health. And you need health to drink vodka. 95. People who think that “you need to drink more” and those who think “you need to drink less” agree on one thing: you need to drink 96. - Man, are you making moonshine? - For what? So I drink... 97. A man is not drunk only with vodka! 98. Nothing warms the soul like cold beer 99. He looked at the world through the eyes of a man sent for vodka... 100. ... fell victim to Russian hospitality 101. First place in the Formula 1 competition was taken by the formula C2H5OH! 102. - Is there any beer? - Beer?!. Beer - drink! 103. If you send a fool for a bottle, he, the fool, will bring one 104. The men go fishing. And they forgot vodka... 105. Only drinkers know what it means to be sober 106. The pleasure of drinking is a function of time, condition, type, quantity and company 107. What a sober person has in mind, a drunk person has already done 108. To understand a drunk person, you have to be a little drunker than him 109. Today I’m not the same as yesterday - and yesterday I was nothing at all 110. Toast. Long live all that thanks to which we are, no matter what! 111. Vodka is ruining the people. But it will do nothing to one person. 112. They began to drink less, but more often. 113. A hangover is when you don’t dare leave the room because your head is so swollen that it seems like it won’t fit through the door 114. Only narrow-minded people drink out of nothing to do. A smart person will always find a reason. 115. One bottle cannot be drunk twice, as Heraclitus correctly noted. But you can’t drink two bottles twice. 116. Whoever wants to, will finish his drink 117. When we lost our corkscrew while hunting, we lived for several days only on water and food. 118. In the Krasnoyarsk Territory, the new vodka was nicknamed “Leninskaya-Shushenskaya”. After the first drink a person begins to burr, after the second he begins to go bald. 119. Oh, how insight synchronizes with a hangover! 120. The best refreshing mask - face in vinaigrette 121. In terms of price-quality ratio, free beer has no competitors. 122. If you send a fool for a bottle, he, the fool, will bring one.. 123. The principle of consuming moonshine. If you don’t feel sick after the first hundred grams, then all subsequent portions will go fine. 124. Then I stopped drinking and my wife, who with her whining undermined my love for alcohol. 125. Pickled cucumber is a plant of the snack family. It is used mainly internally. 126. — “Herbalife” would quickly gain the trust of Russians if it were sold in a more familiar container for us and would be called “Herbalife” 127. There are two magic drinks with the opposite effect: “Smirn off” - turning off the client, and “Smirn on” - awakening him to life. 128. If life is a theater, then I want an intermission and - to the buffet! 129. Don’t drink Ivanushka - you’ll become a pig 130. If you got drunk quickly, it means you weren’t really thirsty. 131. Vodka “Buratino” - feel like firewood. 132. Toast from “ONR”: “Well, goodbye, health.” 133. Recipe Aquae vitae 40% - 500 ml. Da Tales Doses 20. Signa: 100 gram glasses until it feels good. Take before meals. Have a snack! 134. From Paris to Nakhodka there is no better cold vodka! 135. Let's drink to the fact that no matter what we drink at any cost! 136. For the health of those who still have it! 137. Do not take it, Lord, for drunkenness - take it for medicine. We don’t drink, Lord, but we heal. And not a teaspoon, but a tea glass. And not every other day, but every day. And not for the sake of drunkenness, but so as not to get out of the habit. So go away, evil spirit, stay pure alcohol, and do not harm the servant of God. One wise old Georgian said: “If you want to be happy for one day, get drunk.” If you want to be happy for one week, get sick. If you want to be happy for one month, get married. If you want to be happy for one year, take a mistress. If you want to be happy all your life, be healthy, dear! 138. Chemist girls drink until they lose their reaction. Female doctors drink until they lose their pulse. So let's drink to the girls physicists who drink until they lose resistance! 139. God gave me a day to drink. Nobody knows what day it is. So let's drink every day so as not to miss this day! Communist toast: Let's drink to Comrade Kovtaridze! Not because he has one of his own cars and two official ones - we don’t walk either. And not because he has one house and two dachas - we don’t live on the street either. And not because he has one wife and two mistresses - we also don’t engage in masturbation. Let's drink to the fact that he is a real communist! 140. So let’s drink, brother Slavs, not for the sake of damned drunkenness, but just so as not to get out of the habit. 141. - Farewell to reason! Will see you tomorrow! 142. Only a truly Russian person knows the difference between food and snacks. 143. Our village is huge: four sobering stations. 144. Soldatkin’s inequality. Warm vodka today is better than cold vodka tomorrow. 145. The best way to get rid of cancer is with beer. 146. You begin to lead a righteous life when there is no longer any strength or money left for a sinful one. 147. Who slept with my mug and mashed it all up!? 148. Ivan made the princess drink red wine with green wine, and red wine until she had green snot. 149. - Remember, son: the belly is not FROM beer, the belly is FOR beer! 150. Living in society and being free from society is possible, necessary and will be. 151. The less money a person has, the easier it is for him to find booze. 152. Alcohol should be taken as it is. 153. - Do you drink vodka? - I drink, doctor, it doesn’t help! 154. All troubles come from vodka. At best - from cognac. 155. Drank less than more than half 156. Where there is BEER, there is the Motherland. 157. And where do they come from? I never bought empty bottles! 158. It’s better to underdrink than overdrink 159. ... and so unobtrusively invite her for a glass of vodka... 160. Alcoholism is when you drink more than your doctor. 161. Sometimes you wish it would always be. 162. A sign in the doctor’s office: “I don’t drink flowers and sweets.” 163. ...on the second day, when I ran out of vocabulary... 164. If there is a bottle of champagne, that means there is something to celebrate. 165. Everyone should believe in something - I, for example, believe that I will drink another drink. 166. The only time I answered that I wouldn’t drink was when I didn’t understand the question. 167. Beer. The reason I wake up in the morning. 168. Why is beer served chilled? So as not to confuse it with urine. 169. Not all chemicals are harmful. Without substances such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, it would be impossible to obtain water - the most important component of beer! 170. There is no confidence in the future: what will it be like, tomorrow's bottom?.. 171. ... If I were beer, I would come in the morning... 172. You are driving - you brake. 173. When leaving the last establishment for the day, do not rush to the toilet - at least one pleasure should be waiting for you at home. 174. You have to live in such a way that you would like more... 175. “The salad will come back......you just wait.” (post-holiday) 176. Drink foamy beer, you will have a hefty face 177. There is nothing more sudden than love. It's an upset stomach. 178. I drink only two glasses: one first and several second... 179. The day passed dry. 180. The desire to work, as a rule, fades away, but the desire to drink, as a rule, increases until it is satisfied. 181. “The Son of Man was created from dust, and to dust he will return”; Why, then, shouldn’t we drink in the interval? 182. Living in society and being free from society is possible, necessary and will be. 183. There is nothing more hopeless than having fun according to plan. 184. If you sit down earlier, you’ll drink more 185. It’s not evening yet, but it’s already like morning. 186. Why don’t they have a snack after the first one? Otherwise, after the second there will be nothing. 187. The best cure for alcoholism is lack of money.

Quotes about the dangers of alcohol

Still from the film “From Hell”

Of course, not all famous people praised alcohol. Some wittily explained why they abstain from it, others reminded of the dangers of its abuse. You always remember the measure, right?

13. “I drink too much. The last time I took a urine test, there was an olive in it,” comedian Rodney Dangerfield.

14.

One of the reasons I don't drink is because I want to know exactly when I'm having a good time

© politician Nancy Astor

15. “I envy people who drink - at least they know where to blame it all,” actor Oscar Levant.

16. “A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he does NOT drink after that,” - architect Frank Lloyd Wright.

17. “Alcohol can preserve almost everything except health, happiness and money,” singer Mary Wilson Little.

Alcohol does not solve problems, but creates new ones

Are you used to “washing down” failures? We advise you to stop before it's too late. Statuses about alcoholics confirm that this habit does not lead to anything good. Today the problem will be forgotten, but tomorrow a bunch of new ones will appear.

1. When the soul rests, the liver takes the hit.
2. Labor turns a monkey into a man, but vodka does the opposite.
3. When drunk people scream, they think they are talking in a whisper.
4. And my mental pain turned into a headache the next morning.
5. I tried to drown my love in alcohol, but this turd refuses to drown.
6. A smart drunk drinks to the point of being “good”, a stupid drunk drinks to the point of being “bad”.
7. We decided to drink it for our appetite, and now we can’t look at food for 3 days.
8. You should be afraid of absinthe, because after absinthe a person is not afraid of anything.
9. Don't drink to the bottom, otherwise you'll lose depth.
10. If you get drunk, pretend to be asleep in front of your wife. Otherwise the lie detector will start.
11. If you find $100 in your pocket after drinking, don’t be happy! Perhaps there is a check for $400 in the second pocket...
12. Divorced with husband. Let him grow his beer belly in splendid isolation!
13. The vodka is always the same, but the adventures are new every time!
14. After death I dream of going to a bar.
15. Unload your brain, load your liver!
16. Drinking at 00.00 is the strangest: neither after work nor before.
17. - Help, doctor, is your liver splitting?
18. - Do you use it?
19. - I use it. But it doesn’t help, it’s an infection.

Statuses about alcohol on VK remind you: if you’ve drunk, don’t lose your head!

Accurate phrases about alcohol with meaning

Still from the film “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”

In a separate group, we decided to highlight several quotes about alcohol that are worth thinking about.

18. “Lack of inspiration among writers is a fancy term invented by whiners to give them an excuse to drink,” comedian Steve Martin.

19.

Wine is prohibited, but there are four “buts”: it depends on who drinks wine, with whom, when and in moderation. Subject to these four conditions, wine is permitted to all sane people.

© philosopher Omar Khayyam

20. “No drugs, not even alcohol, cause fundamental diseases of society. If we are looking for the source of our problems, we should not test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power." - Journalist P.J. O'Rourke.

And a little philosophy

British comedian and musician Dudley Moore correctly noted that: “Not every drinker is a poet, but many drink precisely because they are not.” And in fact, can anyone compare in eloquence with writers and philosophers? So let's give them the final word:

• “You can find more philosophy in a bottle of wine than in all the world’s literature,” Louis Pasteur once said.

In vino veritas! Not only the ancient Romans thought so, but also many philosophers and poets who lived after them.

• “Alcohol does not give rise to vices, it only exposes them,” Socrates believed.
• “There are better things in the world than alcohol! -You're right, sir. But alcohol compensates for their absence” - such a dialogue took place between the heroes of one of Terry Pratchett’s books.
• “It’s not for nothing that I drink wine at the end of the day, its dull power is deserved; wine takes me deep into myself, to where I can’t go sober” - it’s impossible not to agree with Igor Guberman on this, isn’t it?

But the most poetic lines about alcohol, without a doubt, belong to the pen of Omar Khayim:

• “The prohibition of wine is a law that takes into account who drinks it, where, when, how much, and with whom. But if all these reservations are met, drinking is a sign of wisdom, and not a vice at all.”

Do you have any favorite quotes about alcohol? Tell us about them in the comments.

Sometimes a glass of wine is all you need to make life more wonderful

Witty quotes about alcohol

Still from the film "The Godfather"

And a few more apt aphorisms that you can show off during the feast.

21. “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up, they feel as good as the rest of the day,” singer and showman Frank Sinatra.

22. “I drink wine while I cook, and sometimes I add it to food,” comedian W. C. Fields.

• Food
  Wine Ice Cream at Home: A Recipe You'll Love Next level refreshing taste!

23. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says, love your enemy,” singer and showman Frank Sinatra.

24. “24 hours in a day, 24 bottles of beer in a box. Coincidence?” - football player Steven Wright.

25. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you tell me right away? There is a support group for you. It's called "everyone" and they meet in a bar," actor Drew Carey.

26.

Wine is the healthiest and most hygienic of drinks

© chemist Louis Pasteur

27. “Candy is good, but liquor works faster,” poet Ogden Nash.

28. “Everyone must believe in something. I believe I should order another beer,” comedian William Fields.

29. “The hardest part of being a bartender is figuring out who’s drunk and who’s just stupid,” director Richard Brownstein.

30. “I drink when I have a reason... and sometimes when I don’t have a reason,” writer Miguel De Cervantes.

31. “Drink because you are happy, and never because you are unhappy,” journalist G. K. Chesterton.

32. “One Martini is good, two is too many, three is not enough,” artist James Thurber.

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  : how to drink and what to eat with exquisite vermouth. Secrets of maximum pleasure.

33. “Keep busy, move a lot and don't drink too much. On the other hand, don’t drink too little,” skier Hermann Smith-Johannsen.

34. “There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne,” actress Bette Davis.

35.

When I read about the dangers of drinking, I stopped reading

© comedian Henny Youngman

36. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world,” chemist Louis Pasteur.

37. “A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited stock,” physicist Albert Einstein.

38. “It’s better for your stomach to burst than for good liquor to go to waste,” writer Jonathan Swift.

39. “I love beer. Sometimes I drink it to celebrate an important event like the fall of communism or the fact that the refrigerator still works,” rock singer Dave Berry.

40. “There are two types of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers,” comedian Chelsea Handler.

A toast without wine - a wedding night without a bride

This funny comparison was made by a Caucasian man from the popular comedy by L. Gaidai. The tradition of making toasts came to us from Ancient Rome. People put a piece of bread into a bowl of wine, and while it dissolved, they praised the gods.

1. Let's say battle to drunkenness and drink before the fight!
2. It's a sin not to drink in good company. Don't sin, raise your glass!
3. If vodka is the enemy, let's show that we are not afraid of enemies.
4. “Whiskey,” said the alcoholic and the hairdresser in one voice. But each one emphasized a different syllable.
5. You don't need to tell your friends about your troubles! They understand without words when to pour.
6. Black bookkeeping is when the husband buys groceries with a card and buys booze with cash.
7. I always know my limit, so I will never drink less.
8. Our feast turned into an undertable.
9. The Ministry of Health would rather finish it than stop us.
10. In the morning, do you remember everything and aren’t ashamed? The drinking didn't go well...
11. My feet got wet and my throat gave out. My throat got wet and my legs gave out.
12. I can drink less than I want and more than I can.
13. I am an ideal conversationalist: I listen carefully, pour on time.
14. To avoid shame after drinking: first the photo, then the booze!
15. I wonder when beer brings more pleasure? When entering or leaving...
16. Alcohol is a poor excuse for actions. After all, what’s on a drunk’s mind...
17. This is not money, but coupons for wine.
18. Don't get overworked. Quit and grow a beer belly!