Aphorisms on the topic of what a woman wants and about all her “tricks”
A woman is sometimes a mystery not only for men, but also for herself. Cleverly using our charm and all sorts of “feminine things”, we sometimes don’t even think about how we can do it, because a real woman has a whole set of such “accessories” in her blood and is always at hand at the right time!
- Women, speaking abstractly, have equal rights with us, but it is in their interests not to use these rights. Talleyrand
- Women master the art of dressing wounds almost as well as the art of inflicting wounds.Barbe d'Orville
- The strength of women is in the weaknesses of men. Voltaire
- A woman takes more pleasure in making fools of us than lovers. John Wilmot
- Women, like children, love to say “no.” Men, like children, take it seriously. Yanina Ipohorskaya
- Women are superior to men in everything, even equality. E. Kashcheev
- If a woman doesn't give up, she wins. If he gives up, he dictates his terms to the winner. K. Chapek
- The woman is sure that two and two will equal five if she cry and make a scandal.
- When a woman's beautiful eyes become clouded with tears, a man stops seeing. A. Tournier.
- Even if it is to her own detriment, a woman must speak out.
- Women are much better at saying “no” than men. Margaret Thatcher
- They say, “What a woman wants, God wants,” but they don’t say that only God knows what she wants. K. Melikhan
Aphorisms about female intuition
Women are more emotional than men, more often they use their intuition, which, although sometimes it takes us very far and in the wrong place, we consider our main trump card.
- Women's intuition is much more accurate than men's confidence. R. Kipling
- A woman's direct instinct can sometimes be more valuable than any logical arguments. Arthur Conan Doyle
- Women have simply amazing intuition. They notice everything except the obvious. Oscar Wilde
- Intuition is given to a woman in order to guess a man’s intentions, which he is not aware of. Jean Delacour
- Women tend to prove the impossible on the basis of the possible and object to the obvious, citing premonitions. Honore de Balzac
- There is no girl in the world who would not know, at least a week in advance, about the impending expression of feelings. Ilf and Petrov
Aphorisms about an intelligent woman
We also have our own logic, which men invented especially for us. After all, sometimes they want to be smarter, to show off their intellect, but we prefer to play along with them. And let them be in full confidence that they are the smartest. :)
Here's what men think about us:
- There are no smart women. It’s wonderful how stupid they are and what a horror they are. M. Zhvanetsky
- You can do whatever you want with a woman, but you need to constantly explain to her what we are doing at the moment. M. Zhvanetsky
- A woman has only three responsibilities: The first is to be beautiful. The second is to dress well. Third - never contradict. Maugham
- A woman always sees double meaning everywhere, even where there is none. Where it is, the woman doesn’t see the point at all. A. Maurois
- Thoughts and women do not come together. M. Zhvanetsky
- The mind serves a woman not to strengthen her prudence, but to justify her follies. F. La Rochefoucauld
- Smart women command while serving. Wilhelm Schwebel
And now the response of women on this matter:
- Women, of course, are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs? F. Ranevskaya A woman, in order to succeed in life, must have two qualities. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men. F. Ranevskaya
- A woman's mind is never young. Women are born at the age of three thousand. Sheila Delaney
- If a woman goes down the wrong path, a man follows her in the right direction. Mae West
- If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, it means she understands that she will not find another such fool. Sophia Loren.
Best quotes about girls (150 quotes)
We love things that can make us feel amazing. Quotes about female beauty are the best way to lift your spirits. The article contains beautiful quotes, sayings, aphorisms, phrases that are not found on other sites. They can be an excellent motivator that lifts a woman's spirits. Reams of paper and hundreds of films have been spent describing the beauty of women, promising to reveal the secret behind femininity. Biologists spend their lives researching its effects on the male sex, wanting to uncover this mystery. But the beautiful half of humanity continues to remain a mystery. This mystery, embodied by beauty, is glorified by poets, thinkers, and writers. Therefore, the quotes we collected are another attempt to explore the power of female beauty. The best quotes about girls are collected in this collection.
I don’t know why women demand everything that men have. After all, women, among other things, have men. Coco Chanel
Thanks to cosmetics, a woman learned to hide her true face. Sergey Khokhlov
A smart woman is one in whose company you can act as stupid as you like. P. Valerie
Only women's hands can lay the asphalt so gently. Gennady Malkin
A woman's guess is more accurate than a man's confidence R. Kipling
You must be able to often obey a woman in order to have the right to sometimes command her. V. Hugo.
A woman is your shadow: when you follow her, she runs away from you; when you leave her, she runs after you. Alfred de Musset
A woman laughs when she can and cries when she wants.
J. Baif.
Beautiful girls and women are rarely alone, but they are often lonely. Henryk Jagodzinski
In the most sincere confessions of a woman, there is always a place for default.
O. Balzac
The later a girl comes on a date, the more smiling she is. Gomez de la Serna
God makes a woman beautiful, and the devil makes her pretty.
V. Hugo.
A woman must manage to look so wise that her “accidental” stupidity turns out to be a real gift for a man. Karl Kraus
First of all, a beautiful dress, then a beautiful man to worship her - these are the ordinary desires of a woman.
K. Bovey
Night suits every girl and woman. S. Flesharova-Muscat
Beautiful women are often like big cities, easy to win but hard to keep.
P. Buast
A loving woman's heart is always full of hope; To kill them, you need more than one blow with a dagger, she loves until the last drop of blood. Honore de Balzac
Women are never as strong as when they arm themselves with weakness. I. Bunin
Without a woman, the dawn and evening of life would be helpless, and her noon would be without joy. Pierre Buast
A woman is always changeable and fickle. Virgil
If God had appointed a woman to be the mistress of a man, he would have created her from the head; if he had appointed her to be a slave, he would have created her from the foot; but since he intended her to be a friend and equal to a man, he created it from a rib. Aurelius Augustine
Those who distinguish between good and evil, victory and defeat, life and death, even those who know the whole essence of things, are perplexed by the behavior of women.
Vikramacharita
If you want to know what a woman really thinks, look at her, but don't listen. Oscar Wilde
All opposites converge in a woman's heart.
F. Voltaire
Women's hatred is, in fact, the same love, only changed direction. Heinrich Heine
Women have only one means of making us happy and thirty thousand means of making us unhappy.
G. Heine
A woman is both an apple and a snake. Heinrich Heine
Women drink flattering lies in one sip, and bitter truths in drops.
D. Diderot
A man should beware of a woman when she loves: for then she is ready for any sacrifice, and everything else has no value in her eyes. Nietzsche
There is no worse evil than a bad woman; and nothing has ever been created better than good. Euripides
If I am part of your destiny, then someday you will return to me... P. Coelho
A woman has all her heart, even her head. Jean Paul
“If a woman loves you, then, in essence, the one she loves is not you. But the one she doesn’t love anymore is you!” Paul Geraldi
A woman never notices what is done for her, but she will always notice what is not done for her.
J. Courtelin
When the actress was asked what she wears when going to bed, she replied: Only a “Chanel” number. five. Monroe
Only a woman can temporarily stop time. Yuzef Bulatovich
The woman does not want people to talk about her love affairs, but she wants everyone to know that she is loved. A. Maurois
For some women, it is enough to walk down the street once to remain in a man’s memory forever. Kipling R.
A woman forgives contempt, rudeness, hatred. She does not forgive irony.
E. Ray
A woman knows the meaning of love, and a man knows its price.
A divinely beautiful woman often has a devilish character.
E. Sevrus
If you love, let him go free. If he comes back, he’s yours; if he doesn’t come back, he was never yours.
A woman is sweeter than life and bitterer than death.
Solomon
A man wants to be a woman's first, while a woman wants to be a man's last.
There is nothing easier than turning a mediocre woman into an exceptional one. It's enough to love her.
M. Sauvageon
An intelligent woman is like Semiramis. K. Prutkov
A woman rarely forgives us for jealousy and never forgives its absence.
P. Thule
What is a mistress? A woman around whom you forget what you knew by heart, in other words, all the shortcomings of her sex. N. Chamfort
A woman may sometimes confess her sins, but I have never known one who would confess her weaknesses.
B. Shaw
Anyone who has not seen a woman in love cannot say what a woman is. T. Gauthier
Silent diamonds often have a stronger effect on the female mind than any eloquence.
W. Shakespeare
A woman’s right is to say more than a man, and a man’s duty is to do more than a woman. Baurzhan Toyshibekov
For a woman, being completely sincere is the same as appearing in public without a dress.
Stendhal
The ideal couple from my point of view is a damn beautiful woman and a devilishly smart man. Baurzhan Toyshibekov
I sought wisdom and found that a woman whose heart is like a snare and whose hands are like snares is more terrible than death...
Solomon
A man who reads morals is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who reads morals is certainly an ugly woman. Oscar Wilde
A woman brightens up facial imperfections with cosmetics, figure imperfections with clothes, and mental imperfections with marriage to an intelligent man. E. Sevrus.
Even the severity of the woman we love is full of endless charm, which we do not find in our happiest moments in other women. Stendhal
A frivolous woman will deceive you frivolously, and a serious woman will deceive you seriously. A. Rochefort
A woman is not only able to understand self-sacrifice: she herself knows how to sacrifice herself. Turgenev
Most women have no character: they are either blondes or brunettes; this is an even better way to tell them apart.
A. Pop
Night gives shine to stars and women. Byron
Those who praise women do not know them enough; those who criticize them do not know them at all.
G. Pigot-Lebrun
You can kiss a beautiful woman endlessly and never end up in the same place. Janusz Makarchik
For too long, the slave and the tyrant have been hidden in woman. Therefore, a woman is not yet capable of friendship: she knows only love.
F. Nietzsche
Even the most beautiful legs end somewhere. Julian Tuwim
A woman would rather love a person she hates than someone she is indifferent to.
Don’t burst into your wife’s room shouting “I know everything!”, otherwise she’ll ask you what year the Battle of Trafalgar took place. Przekruj
The severity of character among women is the whitewash and rouge with which they highlight their beauty.
F. La Rochefoucauld
Nymphomaniac: a woman who wants to make love in the evening despite having done her hair in the morning. Maureen Limpan
Sometimes women, whose beauty is perfect and whose virtues are rare, touch our hearts so much that we are content with the right to look at them and talk to them.
J. Labruyère
To understand women, you need to become a woman, and if it is impossible for her to become one, then all that remains is to accept women as they are - full of mysteries and sweet charm in their individuality. Gray
A woman who everyone considers cold has simply not yet met a person who can awaken love in her. J. Labruyère
And she will only laugh, casting a predatory glance in response; as anyone knows, there are no rules in the life of a cat.
What a woman says to the man who loves her is written on the wind and fast-moving water. Catullus
Women in love are like death: they are uninvited and do not come when called. R.Campoamor
If a woman is wrong, go and apologize.
Women always love bad people. E. Goncourt.
Women don't have second loves; their nature is too tender to be able to endure this terrible shock of feelings twice.
G. Heine
A woman is exactly the same force of nature as wind, lightning, electricity.
Hugginson Torrey
For the sake of money, women are ready to laugh and cry; they gain the trust of a man, but they themselves do not trust him; therefore a man of noble birth must always avoid them, just as cemeteries are avoided.
Vikramacharita
Being a human is a lot, but being a woman is even more.
Martti Larni
A smart woman is one in whose company you can act as stupid as you like.
P. Valerie
Being a woman is very difficult simply because you mostly have to deal with men.
Joseph Conrad.
A woman would be in despair if nature created her the way fashion makes her.
P. Bourget
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Aristotle Onassis
A woman in whom I detect modesty awakens my interest, because I guess that this shyness is a sure sign of a romantic and melancholic nature... A woman who values the secrets of her body will not waste her feelings of desire. A. Biyi
All the arguments of men are not worth a single feeling of a woman.
Voltaire
The feminine instinct is worth the foresight of great people. O. Balzac
Women are created to be loved, not to be understood.
Oscar Wilde
If God had appointed a woman to be the mistress of a man, he would have created her from the head; if he had appointed her to be a slave, he would have created her from the foot; but since he appointed her to be a friend and equal to a man, he created her from a rib. Aurelius Augustine
In order to be beautiful, a woman only needs to have a black sweater, a black skirt and walk arm in arm with the man she loves.
Yves Saint Laurent
Women demand the biggest and the smallest; they demand love, as well as courtesy towards them - in the form of a million for small expenses. K. Berne
There are two ways to command a woman, but no one knows them.
Hubbard Frank
Women are ravens at home, peacocks in company, and doves when alone with a friend of the heart. K.Weber
For some women, it is enough to walk down the street once to remain in a man’s memory forever.
Rudyard Kipling
If a woman does not give up, she wins; if she gives up, she dictates terms to the winner.
Karel Capek
Smart women love it when people do stupid things for them, especially expensive ones. Only for the most part they love not the one who does stupid things, but the other. I. Goncharov
A woman hides an amazing, great secret, a great riddle of life, the source of all joys and all worries.
Arne Garborg
The woman whom the gods gifted with the beauty of her soul, combined with the beauty of her body, is both a reality and a mystery. Its truth is open to those who look at it with the eyes of purity and love, but is hidden in the fog of confused confusion from those eager to describe it in words. D. Gibran
If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything. Marilyn Monroe
We are rarely tied to a woman by what attracted us to her. D. Collins
A girl who feels needed is already a quarter in love. John Fowles
There are no ugly women, there are only women who don't know how to look pretty. J. Labruyère
She changed the way the girl you broke up with when she was still an awkward, unformed teenager and met again when she became a young woman changes: this woman has just stepped over the mystical edge of childhood and, although she still retained its charm, has already acquired secret confidence in her feminine charms. Erich M. Remarque
When a woman is wrong, the first thing you need to do is ask her forgiveness. F. Croisset
A girl who opens her soul and body to her friend reveals the mysteries of the entire female gender. Georg C. Lichtenberg
Just as a fish must be measured without taking into account the head and tail, so women must be examined without paying attention to their hairstyle and shoes. J. Labruyère
A woman’s heart is a golden icon case, where a clay god often reigns. P. Limeirak
When you sit next to a pretty girl, an hour seems like a minute, and when you sit on a hot frying pan, a minute seems like an hour. Albert Einstein
For some women, pride prevails so much over modesty that they willingly admit to actions they did not commit. A. Maurois
Girls learn to feel faster than boys learn to think. Voltaire
What inspires respect for a woman, often mixed with fear, is her disposition, which is closer to nature than the disposition of a man, her purely feline flexibility, her ability to hide evil intentions under an affectionate appearance and the fickleness of her passions. F. Nietzsche
A woman either loves or hates: she does not know the middle. Publilius Syrus
No man has lived a true life unless he has been purified by the love of a woman, strengthened by her courage, and guided by her modest prudence. D. Ruskin
As soon as she is born, the girl is already thinking about love. Margaret of Navarre
Most women love for money; it’s just that the most sensible ones believe that it is more profitable to do it on credit. E. Sevrus
If a girl is forced down the aisle, then virtue often ends. After all, a spouse can be calm for his honor only if he himself is worthy of love. And if husbands have something growing on their foreheads, let them blame themselves - not their wives and not fate. Moliere
A woman who does not love anyone cannot make anyone jealous. M. Cervantes
A girl of my age, beautiful, smart - what else can she find strong feelings in, if not in love? Stendhal
In response to love, a virtuous woman says: no, passionate - yes, capricious - yes and no, flirtatious - neither yes nor no.
M. Soulier
It is interesting to marry only for love; marrying a girl just because she’s pretty is the same as buying an unnecessary thing at the market just because she’s pretty. Anton P. Chekhov
If you want to know a girl's flaws, praise her in front of her friends. B. Franklin
Suppose he marries a girl who loves him passionately. So what are the advantages of this? I have often noticed that husbands who are loved by their wives suffer. Such wives create scenes of jealousy and insist that their husband give them all his time and pay all his attention. They make men a real laughingstock. Oh no, such a life is not honey either. Agatha Christie
Without women, the beginning of our lives would be devoid of help, the middle - pleasure and the end of consolation. N. Chamfort
To be liked by men, a woman should not be beautiful - she should be a little drunk. Maria I. Arbatova
When a woman turns her back to you, praise that back and the woman will reconcile with you. Yu. Shtenheim
Girls need to be promised the world. And buy ice cream. Arkady F. Davidovich
Where a woman rules, desires are often more important than deeds. Aeschylus
The most reliable test is a swimming pool. If a woman by the pool is afraid to get her hair wet for fear of ruining her hair, run away. If she jumps into the water laughing, jump after her. Frederic Beigbeder
Neither gifts, nor attention, nor cordiality, nor services, nor sword, nor teachings - you cannot tame a woman. Hitopadesha
Laughter for no reason is a sign that you are either an idiot or a pretty girl Mikhail M. Zhvanetsky
The love of a woman is more to be feared than the hatred of a man. This is poison, all the more dangerous because it is pleasant. Socrates
A modest girl does not cross her legs. The modest girl does not spread her legs when she sits. A modest girl does not show off her legs. A truly modest girl has no legs at all. Yanina Ipohorskaya
Women disdain those who love them and love those who disdain them.
M. Cervantes
Girls who know spelling really well don't wear skirts that are too short. Yanina Ipohorskaya
Even the severity of the woman we love is full of endless charm, which we do not find in our happiest moments in other women.
Stendhal
Every girl is the keeper of women's mysteries. There are cases where peasant girls look like queens, in body and soul. Georg Lichtenberg
The female sex is another part of our human race: however, due to its weakness, it was born more secretive and crafty.
Plato.
How wonderful it is when a girl forgets that she was well brought up. Karl Kraus
Many women come to performances only to become part of the spectacle themselves. Ovid.
When a forty-year-old man falls in love with a twenty-year-old girl, he is not looking for her youth, but his own. Lenore Coffey
A woman - no matter what she is called, no matter what nation she belongs to, no matter what enmity she feels, tribal or political, she will still remain a woman, always and first of all a woman who has her own feminine side of purely feminine self-love, and this woman first what she likes most is the vain and proud consciousness that she is loved
When a girl gets married, she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one. X. Rowland
Men clip women's wings and then reproach them for not being angels.
A girl with a future should avoid men with a past.
Woman is the Negro of our world. Yoko Ono
When a girl gets married, she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one. X. Rowland
Every woman wants to become a Muse at least once in her life - to inspire a poet to write some poem. James Crews
A girl who is easy to conquer is often difficult to endure.
A woman looks at her body with anxiety, as if her body is her unreliable ally in the battle for love. Leonard Cohen
It’s not what worries the mother about what the young girls know, but how they knew it. Ya. Ipokhorskaya
Aphorisms about women's friendship
There is an opinion that female friendship does not exist, because the spirit of competition constantly lives in us women, and in almost everyone we see a threat to our own person. And although I would not be so categorical about friendship between women (it exists, I am sure of it), I still agree with some of the aphorisms given below. And you?
- No matter how badly men think about women, every woman thinks even worse about them. Nicola Chamfort
- If a woman likes another woman, she is cordial with her; and if you don’t like it, you’re doubly cordial. Erwin Cobb
- If you want to know a girl's flaws, praise her in front of her friends. B. Franklin
- Every woman considers herself irreplaceable and believes that she could easily replace any other. Pitigrilli
- The luxuriously dressed woman's outfit is the work of her friend, inspired by the spirit of competition, every woman strives to be better. Better for men. Coco Chanel
- Women's conversation requires at least three women: two who talk and one who is talked about.
- It's worth being a decent girl: at least no one will envy you. Wanda Blonska
Aphorisms about a woman driving
This is a separate topic for discussion! I personally believe that the ability to drive a car does not depend on the gender of the driver, but depends only on his skill and experience, but many people think differently.
- A woman behind the wheel is a driver whose left hand does not know what the right hand is doing.
- The woman behind the wheel is a creature who gets stuck in a traffic jam that wouldn't exist if she weren't there.
- Double threat on the road: a woman who teaches another woman to drive.
- A woman driving only feels confident when she sees her reflection in all three mirrors.
- A woman driving is like a star in the sky: you see her, but she doesn’t see you.
- What does a woman behind the wheel do in a moment of danger? - She's hiding behind him...
Cool poems about women
Always listen to a man!
Just hope for him!
Since he told you - SNAKE! You throw off the skin, and go to the store, go change clothes!.. Yesterday I imagined myself as Cinderella,
I even felt her in me... I was late, having walked around midnight... I hit the pumpkin very hard!
INTERESTING QUESTION
My daughter came to us from the yard and said directly: I have a question!
Come on, mom and dad, Answer without hiding, Speak honestly - Where and how did you find me? Very interesting! For example, take Vanka - They found it in cabbage! Lying between the beds So, probably sad! His mom and dad are seen from the collective farm And they were able to find him Right before the frost. Well, Vovochka was brought by the Long-billed Stork - (That’s why his nose is the longest in the house). Only our friend Zina was the luckiest of all of us! Dad bought it for five thousand in the store! Her dad is rich! - He rides in a limousine! They say they will buy my brother! Zina is lucky! And our Venerochka is straight from the sea! (That’s why her panties are always on the fence! (hee hee)) So tell me the truth, where did I come from?! Otherwise I’ll break Kuklin’s dishes now! What to do here? How can we be here? God! Give us strength! Our daughter! Forgive us! We gave birth to you! If a mother is for a father the best in the world - they produce such children! White snow lay on the ground...
Winter, snowdrifts - there is joy in the soul!
In short, I blinded the man! Yes, and I inserted carrots where necessary. Don't men really understand?
We are women!
Peace is unknown to us! And at the moment when our wings are clipped - Let's take off on what's at hand! I CAN BE SO DIFFERENT
I can be so different: now capricious, now beautiful, now a frightened monster, now the beautiful Miss Universe, now flexible, now with character, now silent, now swearing obscenely, now into burning huts on a horse, now desperately demanding help, I’ll slam the door, I’ll put all the dots, now I’m caressed by a fluffy ball, now I love and immediately hate, now I’m afraid of heights, but I go out on the roof for a walk in the dark night, now my wife, now my exemplary daughter, now I laugh, now I cry like a beluga, now I make peace, now I quarrel with girlfriend.
I’m not sick, I’m not mentally damaged... I’m just a 100% WOMAN! NEIGHBOR
Well, yes, yesterday a neighbor came in, Well, we sat and chatted, There is nothing between us, but what about the glasses?
What glasses? Well, we drank a little wine, so for your health! I'm your faithful wife! And you use foul language at me! Well, yes, he left in the morning, So we kept discussing you - How lucky I am with you, What a miracle I got! And you scream, “How could I!”, and hit the floor with your hoof! Well, what about the horns, what about the horns? So this is an excess of calcium. EROGENIOUS ZONE
“Where is your erogenous zone?”
“I was sometimes asked the question, “Tell me, Lovely Donna!” In response, I laughed until I cried! And she could, of course, answer: “Not the navel, not the belly, not the nipples... You yourself might have noticed! The erogenous zone is BRAINS!” Having cleaned my sweetheart's shoes,
I smiled by chance, Like the Mona Lisa in the picture, I take a tip from my jacket...
Let's drink to the men,
And move the cups together in a toast!
They are really good when they are NOT OURS! If your husband offended you,
don’t start a scandal!
But when he doesn’t see it, spit in his tea three times! ABOUT THE GOAT
A horned goat is walking and shedding tears about the fact that she doesn’t have enough money and her appearance is a bummer.
They tore off her white fur coat, made noodles, and no one cares about the fibers of her soul! That the new shoes are crushing and the butts are itching, That life has gone bad and everyone around is an asshole! Wife: “The vodka is already warming up in the glass,
the appetizer is served on the table!”
Husband: “Sorry, darling, I’m busy, washing clothes, scrubbing the floor.” Yesterday I got a little hit... I was punished...
And why did I get it?
I couldn’t understand... I’m in my husband’s car... Near the glass, closer to the steering wheel, I scrawled with a screwdriver “DONE, I LOVE YOU!” I scrawled beautifully... a phrase of beautiful words... Is it fair... TO RECEIVE, DAMN, FOR LOVE? A CHOOSE BRIDE
Varvara has been looking for a husband for herself for ten years.
This one is short, that one is tall, the third one loves himself. This one is bald, that one is shaggy, that one is nothing but stingy, this one drinks, and that one says “hello”, this one is “super”, but is married. This one is fat, this one is bony, this one with glasses is an intellectual, this one is arrogant, that one has a criminal record, this one is completely impotent. What should poor Varvara do? Where can she find a man? I looked at the TV, there was a running line: “We will help everyone, we will marry everyone, we promise in advance, Our computer will immediately select your soul mate.” And Varvara went there and filled out a piece of paper, who she needed, described who she needed, so that the computer would help her. The computer struggled for a long time and subsequently said: “You, madam, need a wallet with your penis to be happy!” To be so incomparable in bed,
Perhaps, only HE, My Sweet, Heartfelt, My Only... Sound SLEEP can be!
WOMEN
Various Women walk around the world.
Literally two words on this topic. Firstly, there are Women - fish and birds. There are bunnies and dolls. Donuts and matches. Dragons and snakes. And thousands of pussies. (Here a cry from the crowd: “Announce the entire list!”) There is a Woman at attention. There is a Woman-at-will. There is a Niva Woman and a Volvo Woman. There is a Plasma Woman. Ice woman. Blade Woman. Yoda woman. There are Virgo Women and Aries Women. Are there Women-Where-Are You? and Women, here we are! Here is the Finnish Woman. Here is the Polish Woman. Here's a woman who doesn't give a damn! and Woman-how many? Two worlds, two poles: Woman-hop and Girl-remember-I-carried-your-briefcase? I FOOLED
I met my husband from a business trip, like an Orlovsky racer rushing along the platform!
She threw herself on her neck, hugged her warmly, kissed her on the lips, pressed her to her heart! Suddenly a strange woman, who looked like a sheep, slapped me and my husband in the face too! You're a cable and a bastard - you yelled at him, And you called me a whore whore! I grabbed her with the grip of a hippopotamus, and hit this idiot over the head! The umbrella started to blow across her neck - her glasses flew off into the trench! Then I froze and turned on my brain. I’m blind myself, but I forgot my glasses! I looked closer, bit the sting... And the man was not mine, and the woman ran away! I ran after her, I shouted to her - “Wait! I was blindly mistaken! Forgive me, everything happens in life!” And she said, “Save me! People! They are killing!!!" We were racing along the platform like two suckers, People were having fun and neighing like horses, I then tripped and almost fell over, But I landed smoothly in my husband’s arms! WHEN I WILL BECOME A GRANDMOTHER
Someday I will become a grandmother, A gray-haired and gnarled old lady In a greasy old apron, With a pillow tied to her butt.
And, crawling uncertainly, Helping myself with a stick... No, no, I’m not at all sure That I’ll be such an old lady. With a cigarette clenched in my teeth, With a shiny earring in my ear, I will be an old coquette The envy of other old women. I will be a friend for my granddaughter, and a dance partner for my grandson. I will watch porn and write romances... The brain hurts for the second day
, I’m no longer happy with myself!!!
Will someone please explain to me?! Why the hell do I actually need it?! Men are greedy for young girls
... And how can you lasso a man?
You write boldly about age - a woman-berry! Please keep in mind that these are not dried apricots! He goes to the left - he starts a song,
To the right - he tells a fairy tale... Don’t think, he’s not a scientist cat... This guy is just married!
A WOMAN'S GLANCE
He took off his shoes and became shorter, He took off his coat and became thinner.
Without a suit - the gloss is thinner, Without glasses - it looks stupider. He took off his hat and his bald spots came out. Without gloves, he had hooked hands. Without a vest, the chest is narrower, the teeth are taken out - the sounds are worse. Without a briefcase you look simpler, Without a mobile phone you look like a beggar. He took off his T-shirt - he’s completely skinny, he shaved off his mustache - he’s such a wearer! I looked and laughed! How important is care of things! All he has to do is take off his panties - and there will be no man. A RESPONSIBLE MANIAC
I entered the elevator, a man followed me. He managed to break in, stood opposite me and looked like a murderous maniac. I froze in fear, But I wasn’t confused, In a word, I didn’t give up, I defended myself briskly. I say - listen, if you just touch me, then my kents will bury you here! I have a gun in my pocket - I'll shoot you in no time! Stop, don't rock the boat, if you want to live!!! I'm cool and the whole neighborhood knows me! All the lads in the area are drinking for me!!! The thief in law trusts me with confidence! So you understand, vakhlak, who you are dealing with!!! You better come out right away, you idiot!!! He answered - Grand Mercy! I am your local police officer.
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2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 Ironic poems about Men
Cool poems about the Dacha and Vegetable Garden
Jokes about drunk women
