Agree, a sense of humor in life helps a lot in any situation. As one funny saying goes, it is humor that can make the unbearable more or less bearable. Don't take everything too seriously. Take a deep breath and then smile or even laugh! After all, all this is happening for a reason! It's easier to live with humor. And funny, cool quotes and aphorisms about life will help you recharge with a good dose of positivity.
Funny quotes from great people
Men live much better than women: firstly, they get married later, and secondly, they die earlier. (Mencken)
Death is only one step in our continuous development. Our birth was the same step, with the only difference that birth is death for one form of being, death is birth into another form of being. Death is happiness for a dying person. When you die, you cease to be mortal. (T. Parker)
Love is the most powerful of all passions because it simultaneously takes over the head, heart and body. (F. Voltaire)
For some, life begins after forty, for others after one hundred grams. (L. Dzhevetsky)
Death: total eclipse of the sun and earth. (Ya. Ipokhorskaya)
What if we imagine that behind this life there is another, and ours is still quiet and soothing - a resting place for newcomers from there? (E. Canetti)
It is stupid to die out of fear of death. (Seneca)
The fear of death is more painful than death itself. (Jean de La Bruyère)
Women are a majority that exists as a minority. (L. Kremer)
Women are no less capable of making mistakes. (L. Peter)
Only a false rumor spreads faster than a good joke. (Ya. Ipokhorskaya)
Angels call it heavenly joy, devils call it hellish torment, people call it love. (G. Heine)
A woman is a man's great educator. (A. France)
Women who seek equality with men are not ambitious enough. (T. Leary)
Everything in a woman is used. (M. Zhvanetsky)
Every person has the right to live as long as he can. (S. Maugham)
You can get used to everything, except for a few thousand things. (L. Kumor)
It would be easier for me to reconcile all of Europe than a few women. (Louis XIV)
Death is a mysterious cure for vanity. (A. Bergson)
Love is nothing more than the desire for happiness for another person. (D. Hume)
Nothing can happen worse than death, and you cannot escape death. (M. Lermontov)
Death doesn't die. (David Lawrence)
We are closer to death in childhood than in our mature years. (O. Mandelstam)
Men bare their souls, just as women bare their bodies, gradually and only after a stubborn struggle. (A. Maurois)
When we exist, then there is no death yet, and when death comes, then we are no longer there. Thus, death does not exist for either the living or the dead. (Epicurus)
You can give your life to avoid death. (S. Skotnikov)
The first condition of immortality is death. (S. Lec)
You contemplate a star for two reasons: because it is brilliant and because it is incomprehensible. But next to you is a gentler radiance and a deeper mystery: a woman. (V. Hugo)
We see death ahead; and most of it is behind us - after all, how many years of life have passed, everything belongs to death. (Seneca)
Women don't follow bad advice - they get ahead of it. (A. Erman)
The pursuit of perfection makes it completely unbearable for some. (P. Buck)
Every love is true and beautiful in its own way, as long as it is in the heart and not in the head. (V. Belinsky)
It’s not enough to make an appointment with a doctor - you still have to live to see it. (K. Melikhan)
Life dictates its harsh laws to us. (O. Bender)
You can't hit the same pant leg twice. (S. Ostashko)
One must be able to often obey a woman in order to sometimes have the right to command her (V. Hugo)
In a big city you can see more, but in a small city you can hear more. (J. Cocteau)
Appetite comes with eating, but does not go away during hunger. (Stanislav Jerzy Lec)
Any man can get the woman he wants, he just has to try, it’s not a big trick; but only a man who respects a woman can break up with her without humiliating her. (S. Maugham)
Money does not bring happiness, but it helps a lot to get by without it. (Stahl)
Living is harmful. They die from this. (S. Lec)
Death that prevents decrepitude is more welcome than death that ends decrepitude. (J. Labruyère)
A man will always prefer the most ordinary thoughts of his mistress, which belong to her, to the deep and true thoughts that she could hear from another man. (A. Maurois)
Regarding women and love, a man is weaker the more physically strong he is. (A. Carr)
Death? Should you worry about such trifles? Use your imagination and try to imagine a world without death! Death is an indispensable condition of life, and not at all an evil. (S. Gilman)
Technique in art has the same meaning as in love. Inept sincerity, like soulless craft, has its own charm. But most of all we value spiritual virtuosity. (D. Bart)
Let us fear death not in the hour of danger, but when nothing threatens us: let a person remain a person to the end. (B. Pascal)
There is something solemn about death; this is a striking truth that should extinguish all passions. Her inexorable scythe cuts off our existence; if it didn’t happen yesterday, it can happen today or tomorrow, and sometimes this tomorrow turns out to be so close and unexpected!. (V. Golovina)
A woman reigns, but does not rule. (D. Girardin)
And these old people are strange, not natural people: they are not born, but only die and, however, they are not transferred. (V. Klyuchevsky)
In sadness and misfortune, death is not torment, but peace from hardship. (K. Crisp)
As long as we are inseparable from death, we are not afraid of any troubles. (T. Brown)
The beauty of a person is when he can make you beautiful. (I. Adjani)
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Wisdom does not always come with age. Sometimes age comes alone.
A lot of time is spent on waiting for troubles, on the troubles themselves and on the anticipation of troubles, and as a result, the whole life.
Reality is an illusion caused by the absence of alcohol in the blood.
The husband is the master of the house until the wife comes.
A gentleman is a man who calls a cat a cat even when he trips over it.
All professions are a conspiracy of specialists against laymen.
A man has two options in life: remain single and feel unhappy, or get married and don’t want to live anymore.
Those who can gracefully explain to others what they already know will most quickly gain a reputation as an intelligent person.
A good teacher can teach others what he himself cannot do.
Things are never as bad as we fear, or as good as we would like.
It takes two to get married - a lonely girl and a concerned mother.
There are no rules when it comes to hunting your husband. All means are good, as long as the trophy is captured alive.
A will is a money transfer from the other world.
Most of all, people are interested in what does not concern them at all.
The better the doctor, the more useless drugs he knows.
There are no atheists in foxholes.
Trust in subordinates begins where the capabilities of tracking equipment end.
Work is not a wolf, work is a wolf. And the wolf walks.
Here’s what’s typical: misfortune usually strikes, chance comes along, and happiness rolls in; This means you need to look at the sky with caution, with interest at your feet, and with hope around you.
It's not interesting to drink with someone who has nothing to hide.
While I tried it on seven times, I put it on.
You should not compare prostitutes with politicians - not everyone will agree to work in front of the camera.
As you go up, you will meet a lot of different people. Don't offend them, because you will meet them all again when you fall down.
The only thing worse than the laws in the state is the practice of their application!
Journalism is the art of turning enemies into money.
If you believe in what you cannot see, then it is better to believe in miracles than in bacteria.
There is no problem so big and complex that you cannot escape from it.
A patriot is someone who is ready to sacrifice everything for the Motherland if it does not harm his business.
If you start saving a little every month, then after a year you will be surprised how little you have saved up.
. Compromise is the art of dividing the pie so that everyone is sure that they get the best piece.
It's hard to be a programmer. You come to visit people to relax, and they immediately show you their home
computer and are asked to sort out its problems. I can imagine what it’s like for proctologists.
Part of any administrative machine serves absolutely nothing. This is beauty in its purest form.
If you cannot defeat your opponent, team up with him.
Only in old age do you begin to understand that the most ingenious invention of mankind is the enema.
Leave in English. Don't wait to be sent in Russian.
The sight of a thoughtful person actually produces a painful impression.
His conscience is clear. Not used.
I was happily married for twenty years. It took me five husbands to do this.
No battle plan survives an encounter with the enemy.
A son-in-law is an ungrateful relative of a holy woman.
Of two contradictory decrees, carry out both.
An amazing thing is an exam. He surprises some with questions, others with answers.
If you want the lady not to forget the night with you, then use “star” balm instead of lubricant.
The extent of our pride is determined by the extent of our misfortunes.
Among those walking over corpses, looking at one's feet is considered bad manners.
Advertising is the subtle art of convincing the buyer that he has dreamed all his life about a thing that he sees for the first time in his life.
Telling an English joke, you feel a feeling of slight superiority; listening to an English joke, you feel a feeling of slight inferiority.
Any existing order has to be continually restored.
Relatives are a group of people who periodically gather to count themselves and have a tasty meal due to a change in their number.
I have so much to do that I'd better go to bed.
There are moments when everything works out. Don't be alarmed - it will pass.
In the word “victory” I hear the triumphant tramp of fools
Every nation has a history that suits its imagination.
Our parents prepare us to live in a world that does not exist.
A handful of facts manage to spoil the best gossip.
The hardest war I have fought was with my wife Olivia. A. Makedonsky
Happiness is when you have a large, friendly, caring, loving family in another country.
Money is something that occasionally passes through our hands on the way to the state treasury.
Saving is the art of spending money without getting any pleasure from it.
A man’s biological age is determined by what exactly he shrinks when he hears the word “children.”
You need to choose your enemies most carefully.
It’s convenient to be stupid—you care about such simple things.
What is integrity? Remain a convinced mushroom picker after the eighth poisoning with toadstool.
Give me a foothold and I'll make a toast.
An erudite is a person who will always find a synonym if he doesn’t know how to spell a word.
It's not easy to get children on their feet. Especially early in the morning.
Belief in justice decreases with every salary.
The government's solution to a problem is always worse than the problem itself.
Everything that is written in the newspapers is absolutely true. With the exception of those rare incidents that you have personally witnessed.
Pornography is the harsh reality of romance novels...
It's hard to peel potatoes with heroes.
If your neighbor has offended you, forgive him. If you can't, kill him.
Rudeness is the wit of fools.
Three keep a secret safely if two of them are in the grave.
Paradoxically, freedom of choice often does not include freedom from the choice to refuse.
If the result does not depend on the solution scheme, then this is mathematics, and if it does, then this is accounting.
Nothing improves the taste of home-cooked food like studying a restaurant menu.
Nostalgia is the desire to return to something we never had.
I'm not avoiding you. I'm dosing you.
The most important things in our lives happen in our absence.
If you want to avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.
An ax is such a dangerous thing that it should be sold by prescription.
A harem is a serpentarium of loving wives.
It takes a person 2 years to learn to speak and 50 years to remain silent.
Medicine is the highest art of drawing conclusions about the symptoms of a disease based on the causes of death.
You can beat the best player with bad cards and a revolver.
When you have nothing to lose, you can risk everything.
A bad boss is one who does not want to become a slave owner.
There is no more careful driver than the one who forgot his documents at home.
The answer to the question of what is more important - money or health - depends on what exactly you lost.
Nothing in life is more inspiring than being shot at and missing.
Do not interfere in your affairs if you have entrusted them to a deputy.
You are not truly drunk if you can lie down without holding the floor.
Marriage was established in order to cope together with difficulties that would never have happened without marriage.
You have to be a truly great person to resist even common sense.
Cemeteries are full of irreplaceable people.
A woman on a ship is a sign of pleasure before misfortune.
To get incredibly drunk, one glass is enough - either the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
People are divided into those who make money from their fame and those who make money from their obscurity.
The latter earn significantly more
. Traditions are a set of solutions to problems that no one remembers.
Romantics are people who experience love more often than sex.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
Everyday dramas go on without rehearsals.
Drinking without a solemn part loses its educational value.
Don't see malice in something that can be explained by stupidity.
. I was dreaming about reality. What a relief I woke up with.
The only thing that makes sense to strain and work for is the opportunity to relax and rest without any sense.
The only things I can afford are music, women and wine, since gas, food and rent are beyond my means.
Sometimes it seems that the affairs of gods and people are in the hands of someone else...
Cleanliness is something of an impossibility.
Have you ever wondered why cattle are counted by heads, and the government is counted by members?
You can never judge the depth of a puddle until you fall into it yourself.
There are few fools, but it turns out there are many!
I don’t know what you’re taking for your head, but it’s not helping you.
The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on.
The likely lifespan of a houseplant is inversely proportional to its price and directly proportional to its unattractive appearance.
Motorists say there are two types of pedestrians - quick and dead.
A kind word and a gun can go much further than just a kind word.
Only government toilets can see the true face of power every day.
Complex problems always have simple, easy-to-understand solutions that are not correct.
From the will: “Being of sound mind, I spent all the money before my death...”
A cactus is a cucumber deeply disappointed in life.
And you don’t want to live, and you’re too lazy to shoot yourself.
Friends come and go, and doctors pile up.
Body temperature can be normal, elevated or room temperature.
In the end, everything somehow works out. And most often it’s bad.
I am constantly haunted by smart thoughts, but I am faster...
The one who snores falls asleep first.
All probabilities are 50%. Either it will happen or it won't.
Information conveyed in a whisper is remembered better.
Wait, and the bad will disappear by itself, causing the necessary damage.
I don't have delusions of grandeur. Great people do not suffer from it.
It’s hard to treat, but it’s easy to die!
For reasonable reasons, nothing is done.
He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke.
I paid my taxes and sleep peacefully on benches, in basements, at the train station.
A beautiful woman pleases the male gaze, while an ugly woman pleases the female gaze.
The effectiveness of a meeting is inversely proportional to the number of participants and the time spent.
If dogs spoke, people would lose their last friends.
The Ministry of Health warns: your birth is dangerous for your health.
Never be afraid to do what you don't know how to do. The Ark was built by an amateur. Professionals built the Titanic.
When there is no need to make a decision, it is necessary not to make it.
Never argue with a fool - people may not notice the difference between you.
If you helped a friend in need, he will probably remember you when he is in trouble again.
Virtue is its own punishment.
If you do something right once, someone will definitely ask you to do it again.
When things take a turn for the worse, everyone gets washed away.
The pedestrian is always right. Still alive.
Sometimes you have to pretend to be a fool so as not to look like an idiot.
The air is not felt until it is spoiled
Schnapps in small doses is harmless in any quantity.
The man believes that there are two views on every question: his and the wrong one.
Reality can be endured only if it is not all given in sensations. Or not all of it is given at once.
It is human nature to make mistakes, but blaming mistakes on others is even more common.
Every tailor has his own view of art!
Never argue with a woman. You can win the argument - and then you will be in trouble.
There is always a place for heroic deeds in life. You just need to stay away from this place.
Being able to change the state of affairs is the main quality of a leader. And changing it before others is a sure sign of a creative personality.
A fool who occupies a high position is like a man on top of a mountain: everything seems small to him, and to everyone else he himself seems small.
Those who can do it do it. Those who cannot, teach. Those who cannot teach control.
God gave the man two heads, but there is so little blood that you can only think with them one at a time.
Sometimes a mistake is the only evidence that someone meant to do something.
A person who can smile during failures certainly thinks about who he can blame for the next failure.
A map is a piece of paper that helps us get lost.
We are all born wet, naked and hungry. And this is just the beginning.
In any organization, work gravitates towards the lowest level of the hierarchy.
In a hierarchical system, wages are directly proportional to the attractiveness and ease of the work performed.
It’s not enough to grab it on the fly; you also need to be able to quickly hide it all.
Don't worry about what other people think of you. They are too concerned about what you think about them.
Medicine is a way to die slowly, painfully and expensively.
Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or leads to obesity.
Positive quotes for every day
Nowadays, more and more people are experiencing feelings of depression. Life is not an easy thing. We are constantly faced with different situations that bring us joy or sadness.
Our post-Soviet society is created in such a way that we are under pressure all the time. Generally accepted rules that must be followed cannot but be annoying. Thus, we worry about something all the time and try to adapt to the “norms”. Especially for you, we have collected many positive quotes so that they will lift your spirits in difficult moments.
Why worry and worry if you don’t have to worry and worry?
Forget about everyone - everything will be great! Let's live - because life is wonderful!
… thinking positively is not easy. It is much easier to think negatively. Erlend Lu. The best country in the world.
The beautiful thing about music is that when it hits you, you don't feel any pain. Bob Marley.
Time lost in pleasure is not considered lost. John Lennon.
Understand that there is only one internal criterion: what makes you happier is good. Osho.
In just a month, a person will be laughing at the problems that deprived him of sleep today.
Act as if you are already happy and you will actually become happier. Dale Carnegie.
