Cool and funny sayings, phrases, quotes, aphorisms about diet

Diet... Almost everyone has encountered it, but not everyone has taken root with it. After all, following a diet is difficult, you really want to eat well and tasty, but in a diet, as a rule, there are bans on the most delicious foods and dishes, since they are the most high-calorie and harmful. So you have to endure and cultivate willpower. Then diet statuses may sound with a degree of sadness and regret that you cannot eat what you want. Statuses can also be funny – when you’re already laughing at yourself or you’re done with your diet.

I am the most attractive, I still need to get thinner...

What person doesn't want to be beautiful and slim? Everyone, especially women - and at any age. Then they go on a diet and convince themselves that this is the only thing that can help them become slim. Not everyone can withstand it. But in any case, diet statuses appear - with different shades of mood:

1. I really wanted to lose weight by the summer, okay, let’s put it off until the winter.
2. Weight is gained quickly - in a week, and losing it is real torture that lasts for years.
3. Don't eat at night! And it’s not worth it during the day either.
4. When I was 1st degree obese, as luck would have it, my husband liked crumpets and I didn’t try to lose weight. Now it’s the 3rd degree, the man doesn’t like anything anymore.
5. Excess weight is the beginning of disease.
6. Beauty is beauty, but diet is also necessary for health.
7. Well, why did I eat the pie again after 6? Okay, then I’ll eat a sandwich – it won’t make any difference.
8. There is strength, there is will, but there is no willpower not to eat.
9. How tiresome the evenings are in Russia - you want to eat so much, but you can’t eat.
10. I hate my husband when he eats all my favorite dishes - fried potatoes and fried pork, while I make myself carrot chops.
11. There is nothing more dangerous than a woman on a diet - she can get punched in the face just like that, because she can’t have a pie, and I just ate it.
12. Women in anger are not as scary as women on a diet.
13. When I was faced with a choice of diet: English, French, Irish... - I chose purely Russian - I won’t eat until I feel like it. Within an hour I was craving it – I devoured everything that was in the refrigerator.
14. I realized that I didn’t have enough willpower to not eat at night, so I stopped stocking the refrigerator at night. But that didn’t stop us – there was a 24-hour store nearby.
15. Gluttony is the body’s defense reaction to the fear of going on a diet.
16. Don't cheat on yourself, even in the shape of your figure.
17. You are good the way you are... It calms you down, but not for long - you still need to lose weight.

Funny aphorisms about losing weight

We often take the weight loss process too seriously. We ourselves increase tension, create nervousness and make it difficult to achieve results. Aphorisms about losing weight help to defuse the atmosphere like nothing else.

Looking at yourself with irony allows you not only to relieve stress, but also to distract yourself. The peculiarity of the psychology of a person who seeks to lose weight is that he is constantly in a state of overcoming difficulties. He thinks all the time about his diet, about what he is depriving himself of, how hard it is and how much effort he puts into overcoming hunger.

A funny aphorism that you can write out and attach to the refrigerator will help you get rid of such thoughts. For example: “There are no fat women. There are women who are not tall enough for their weight." Or: “They say that laughter helps you lose weight. Help me make fun of 20 kg!” These phrases will help you gain optimism and strengthen your desire to lose weight.

In addition, a funny aphorism on the refrigerator will help you stop in time before opening the door and give up on the result achieved with such difficulty. This could be, for example, the following phrase: “Life must be lived in such a way that you are not ashamed to name your weight.”

The peculiarity of aphorisms is that they are not immutable rules or orders. These are ironic statements that make you think. Often their impact on a person is much more effective than strict restrictions.

It's not about thinness, it's about the soul

Funny statuses about diets are given by those who have not tried to go on it or have not been able to fully cope with the diet. Then you want to laugh - both at yourself and at those who are losing weight, no matter what:

1. “Eat everything for your health, eat for your health,” Willy Tokarev sang, and, by the way, he himself was on a diet.
2. I went on a carbohydrate diet: porridge in the morning, jelly in the afternoon, fruit in the evening. A day later I started bleating and realized that I was turning into a real goat. I went and bought myself a piece of meat - that’s it, I came to my senses.
3. What about these skinny monkeys? Either it’s a magnificent lady with a burning gaze.
4. The diet helped me lose weight by 5 kg and introduced unnecessary traits into my character: anger, hatred of thin people, nervousness and causeless tears. No, why the hell do I need this...
5. You say that diet improves health, but after a week on the diet I lost the last thing - I stopped enjoying life altogether and everything got sick.
6. For some, a diet may help, but for me it only harms me - I lash out at my husband, and at work everyone flies.
7. So is it better to starve than to eat anything, or is it better to eat tasty and satisfying food than to have a hungry gaze? I just can’t figure it out...
8. The word “diet” gives me a burst of increased appetite. Maybe replace this word with “let’s eat from the heart.”
9. I tried everything in the fight against excess weight - I locked the refrigerator, forbade my husband to eat at night, and did not buy bread for the house. Everything turned out to be useless - after all, I always have a stash in my bedside table - buns with meat and fruit.
10. How I want to become slim and beautiful, but I won’t sacrifice my appetite. After all, my grandmother used to say: “Everything that fits into your mouth is useful.”
11. I’m on a diet, and even the cat is annoying because he’s constantly eating his food.
12. It turned out that all my favorite foods are unhealthy - smoked meats, fatty meats, fried vegetables, chocolates and sweets, buns and pies. So why such a life when you deprive yourself of the only pleasure - to eat well and tasty?
13. I was on a diet for 2 days, and then I thought: “What if there’s a war tomorrow, and I’m so angry and hungry.” She went and ate whatever her heart desired.
14. I consider depriving yourself of one of the few pleasures in life - a delicious meal - a real crime against humanity.
15. I came to the nutritionist. And when, after the list of foods prohibited for me, he asked me the question: “Are you sure you want to lose weight?” I resolutely answered “not anymore” and quickly left him.
16. I started working with a nutritionist and realized that in the next month I would be eating everything unsalted, unsweetened, tasteless and bland - I almost vomited right in his office. What diet? I will love myself as I am.

Motivational phrases of famous people

Often, when making a difficult decision, we turn to the experience of famous people. Losing weight is no exception. Everyone wants to know what celebrities think about this.

The authorship of the most famous statement on the topic of weight loss belongs to Faina Ranevskaya, who went down in history not only as an actress of Soviet cinema, but also as a sarcastic and witty person. The actress said: “I noticed that if you don’t eat bread, sugar, fatty meat, or drink beer with fish, your face becomes smaller, but sadder...,”

Faina Ranevskaya was a plump lady, so the issue of dietary nutrition was acute for her. One day an unpleasant incident happened to her. The actress's skirt came apart in a piquant place. Noticing this, Ranevskaya said: “Even the skirt could not withstand the onslaught of beauty.”

In 2012, Christina Aguilera amazed her fans with her curvy figure and the sacramental phrase: “I’m fat, get over it.” However, Aguilera later changed her mind. She returned to her previous form and offered fans the following formula: “No sugar, alcohol and snacks.”

Kate Winslet revealed her secret to losing 18 kg: “Thanks to my husband! When you are loved so much, the kilograms go away on their own.”

Funny quotes about skinny people that can be found on the Internet will also help motivate you to lose weight. The most famous quote is attributed to Kate Moss: “Nothing tastes better than feeling thin.”

Chubby cheeks or sunken cheekbones?

Funny statuses about dieting are made by people who don’t see any point in mocking themselves under the name “diet”. They are sure that they can lose weight in other ways. Then the statements could be like this:

1. If you want to lose weight, have a child, or better yet two. Then in a year you won’t recognize yourself, you’ll be as slim as a cypress - you just don’t have time to eat.
2. I have time to eat everything in the refrigerator before 6. That’s why I always proudly tell my friends that I don’t eat after 6, for some reason they don’t believe me.
3. The thicker the butt, the more adventures!
4. When the nutritionist said that all foods need to be weighed and constantly look at the calorie table and calculate calories, I realized that this was not about me. I did very poorly in mathematics at school - I’m afraid I’ll make a mistake in my calculations.
5. “Take care of your figure” - if your husband tells you that, why the hell do you need him.
6. Love us plump, everyone will love us skinny.
7. Yes, the proverb that a man is not a dog and does not throw himself at bones does not justify itself in life - they constantly stare at skinny ones, but they choose us, plump ones, as their wives.
8. I'm afraid that along with losing weight I will lose my individuality.
9. The diet is easy to follow, I personally have already been on it 50 times, although only for 2 days, no more.
10. The husband found his wife in the kitchen at two in the morning, tightly dieting.
11. For you to live on one salary and always be on a diet - you can’t imagine a worse curse.
12. I like to dream about a diet, but only after a hearty lunch.
13. In 3 weeks of dieting, I lost more than kilograms, but this is an invaluable time of my life.

Poems about excess weight

Aphorisms about excess weight are not the only way to improve your mood and get ready to fight extra pounds. There are many rhymes and funny poems on the topic of losing weight, which are often in the form of ditties. For example:

Wouldn't you all go through the forest?

I'm struggling with excess weight!

I don't sleep, I don't drink, I don't eat,

I'm losing so much weight.

Funny poems adapted from the lyrics of famous songs will also help you have fun. For example: “The refrigerator is all empty, And the night is so moonlit! (two lines from the romance: The whole soul is full of you, And the night is so moonlit).” Everyone has their own way of maintaining moral strength while dieting.

I don't want to be a heffalump!

Statuses about diet and weight loss are relevant for those who have decided to take care of their figure. They can be serious or with a bit of irony:

1. I didn’t manage to lose weight this summer, so I decided to prepare for the next one. I found the most optimal diet for me - for 3 days. I managed everything, but only the weight became 2 kg more.
2. I went to a nutritionist, he said: “Mother, you need dietary restrictions for the rest of your life!” I don’t want to be limited and live with restrictions!
3. Any restrictions irritate me, especially restrictions on food - they deprive me of the last pleasure.
4. You can’t understand the stomach with your mind, you can’t measure it with a common yardstick, your digestion is special, but you can only believe in diet.
5. My mind constantly screams at me that it’s time to go on a diet, but my stomach growls - don’t even try to do this!
6. I just can't find the motivation to go on a diet. My husband is happy with my curvaceous figure, and so is my lover...
7. Guys, lack of money is cool: you want to get drunk, but you can’t.
8. Why are you complaining that there is always no money? So rejoice - no money, no food.
9. I have my own diet - I don’t have enough money for a shopping basket, so I only buy vegetables and cereals. State, thank you for not getting fat, but losing weight more and more every year!
10. For our slimness and thinness, thank you, dear country!
11. They say that breakfast should be rich, and dinner should be given to the enemy. Well, no - I like dinner myself - I just make myself a light salad of cutlets, pasta, dumplings, with the addition of herbs and vegetables.
12. How many times have you promised yourself not to get drunk at night - how can you not get drunk? You come home - your husband is tired and angry, your son has a bad grade again, your friend is bawling into the phone. That's it - no obligations or promises!
13. Appetite comes with eating - especially during dieting.
14. Healthy eating is when you eat what you want and feel truly healthy!

Aphorisms about excess weight

Everyone knows that sleep is sweet... Everyone will confirm this! But this sweetness will never harm your figure!

I look at myself... I LOOK the BEST it could be... Not a single wrinkle, the muzzle of my face is so swollen and the SKIN has tightened that I’m even AFRAID... that it won’t crack!)))

If, after the New Year holidays, it SEEMS to you that you can’t fit into any dress, then follow this advice: CROSS yourself... And if this doesn’t help, it’s time to go on a diet...

and the arrow on the scales stubbornly jumps to the right :))))

An acquaintance forced his wife to go and get tested for “excess weight.” I don’t know what kind of coding this is, but I know my wife very well. She is about 42 (Russian) size with a height of about 170. Slender, fit, athletic.

- So does she really need it? - I was surprised. - Well... I should lose about five kilos, but I can’t do it with the usual methods. - he explained. - The weight doesn’t come off. She’s already been on a diet and is regularly involved in fitness. But these five kilos don’t go away, and that’s all. - Lord... five kilos is not thirty-five. And is it worth it to meddle with some incomprehensible secret code in your brain because of five extra kilos? She does not have painful fullness. I'm not even overweight, to be honest. And since the body clings to these five kilos, maybe it does it for a reason? - Well... Nonsense. “He looked at me so disapprovingly. “For example, I really want her to lose weight.” She will look much sexier if she is thin.

I swear. She didn't change a word. Quoted as is. Interesting. Is there any coding from idiot husbands?

I don’t need to talk about my figure here! I can inadvertently hurt you with all my shortcomings.

I went back to work... I started to lose those holiday pounds, that's it... But, suddenly, suddenly, the Old New Year came...

They say that fat people are kind. And I’m getting kinder and kinder every day...

True love is when your excess weight is like a bonus and a significant bonus for your husband.

New Year. I'm struggling with weight. By two o'clock, drunk in the trash, I'll go to bed! What if, after overeating, I add a kilogram!

I'm smart and I'm happy with myself. I'm glad my patience is zero. I can't stand being hurt. Why do I need a feeling if it is pain.

I'm smart and I'll pet myself. Once again I will stroke myself. I had the courage to throw away my luggage. Please note, still loving.

A diet can give you such ease, but I’m great, I managed to do it without. I lost it, I managed it until the summer. I lost you like excess weight. ...show full text...

The first pounds you lose disappear from areas of your body where you don't want to lose them.

Completeness is not a physiological property, but a worldview.

DUMMY

The donut eats up failures, Lying on a dented ottoman. “Tomorrow, for sure, everything will be different, I’ll sit on rice and water.

And also: I swear to go in for sports, the extra weight doesn’t let me breathe!” Fingers stained with cake are licked appetizingly by a Pekingese.

She lies to herself, the packet of cookies disappears, melting like a candle. In the whole world there is only one dog warming itself at the round shoulder... ...show full text...

I’ll give 20 kg of excess weight to good hands... Well, be human! Take it for a while!

They say.

They say that looking sad is detrimental to your well-being... I want to be healthy - I laugh every day.

They say that whoever eats a lot is overweight... I don’t need too much - I’ll do without chocolate.

They say that to be offended means to become infected with anger... I strengthen my health: I always forgive everyone for everything. ...show full text...

We are easily ready to part with excess weight, but he loves us madly and does not let us go.

It is difficult to fight excess weight when you are in the same weight category.

In severe cold and heat I eat little, but... I eat a lot...

I was sure I was irresistible, But time, erasing everything, By turning over the winters, Closed access to this very topic.

What's left for me? Only interest. Which? Ordinary. I will say this without falsehood. Of course I've gained extra weight, so far only a hundred. What will happen next?

The set of diets, by God, is not for me, although I eat without waiting for the night. I’m losing weight a little while in my sleep, but in reality it’s still not very good. ...show full text...

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