About the series Interns: On March 29, 2010, the TNT channel began showing a new domestic comedy sitcom, Interns. The series is being produced by the TNT television company, the authors of the project are people who have already been noted for the creation of “Univer” and “Our Russia”, in particular the former KVN player Semyon Slepakov. The main role is played by the famous Russian actor Ivan Okhlobystin. The series Interns is dedicated to young doctors who do not yet know how to treat, but already know how to make people laugh. The main characters of the series are four interns. They constantly find themselves in stupid situations, and their leader, the experienced doctor Bykov (played by Okhlobystin), watches them and mocks medical “dummies” in every possible way. Bykov, in company with his old friend Dr. Kupitman, brings the interns along, and the omnipresent head physician Anastasia Kisegach interferes with them.
For the filming of “Interns,” an almost real hospital with wards, departments, utility rooms, and even a large elevator was built on the territory of a former factory.
The creator and producer of "Interns" is a famous comedy director, one of the creators of "Univer", producer of Comedy Women, and screenwriter of the film "Our Russia. Eggs of Destiny” Vyacheslav Dusmukhametov, believes that recently the medical profession on TV has been shown somehow one-sidedly and negatively. These are always dramas, where doctors are often the villains. But doctors, says Vyacheslav Dusmukhametov, “besides the fact that they are people who save lives, they are also very cheerful people, or rather, cheerful cynics.” Therefore, a creative group of former doctors and people with medical education took part in the development of the series, writing not about something extensive, but about what they know. Nurse Lyuba - Svetlana Permyakova (member of the Perm KVN team). One of the authors of the script for the series is Permian Alexander Kagarmanov, and he invited her to take part in this project. At the same time, it turned out that the role of head nurse Lyuba was written specifically for the actress.
Funny quotes from the character Dr. Andrei Evgenievich Bykov (30 quotes)
In the early 2000s, the popular medical series Interns was shown on television. Probably many wanted to take their place, and similar series were created, but no one managed to release a more interesting, cool and humorous series. The main favorite of the audience was the simple doctor Andrei Evgenievich Bykov, who not only saved lives, but also taught young interns. It was very funny to watch the relationship between them change. In the series, Bykov appears to be very eloquent and very often he spoke legendary expressions, which are collected in this collection. Funny quotes from the character Dr. Andrei Evgenievich Bykov are presented below.
Let's quickly evolve to bipedal walkers, and follow me!
Don't try to put words into sentences - it's not your thing.
Looking at the dancing Levin: “I’ll have to tell Lyuba to count the drugs!”
You said if I take on interns, I'll roll like cheese in butter. Where's my oil? I want to ride in it!
— Levin’s is thicker. - So, let's avoid intimate details...
Evona, again the orderlies forgot to close the gates of hell.
Levin, among the things that really interest me in life, the question of your personality development is somewhere between the problems of migration of the long-eared owl, and the peculiarities of taxation in the Congo.
- Who told you this?! — One very smart doctor from your department. - Smart doctor? From my department?...Who let me in?!
- So... we’ll quickly evolve to bipedal and follow me!
You said if I take on interns, I'll roll like cheese in butter. Where's my oil? I want to ride in it!
- ... Go ahead, Lobanov, and buy yourself some brains or a book with this money. Better a book. Brains, I'm afraid your body will reject it.
Scary man! You can't turn your back on him. He can stick an enema into the carotid artery!
Don't try to put words into sentences. This is not yours, Lobanov, not yours!
- Well, executioner, have you already sharpened the ax of your stupidity?
So, forget about the color of your diplomas and the fact that the word “doctor” is written on it. It's all a lie - you don't know a damn thing!
Natanych! Don't be upset! She clearly got excited about her grandfather. You look more like your grandmother.
- Do you know, Lobanov, that the brain of a dinosaur was the size of a walnut? - So what? - Well, how's it going? This fact should make you jealous.
You said if I take on interns, I'll roll like cheese in butter. Where's my oil? I want to ride in it!
By the hour you just need to take the pills! And you can dominate and humiliate at any time!
— In the life of every doctor, sooner or later he comes across a patient whom he wants not to cure, but to finish off. And chalk it all up to medical error.
- I miss you and you... What will happen when you leave?
At your age, and without appropriate treatment, it’s like being in a bath with a crocodile: interesting, but not enough time.
- I miss you and you... What will happen when you leave?
... Come on, Lobanov, and buy yourself some brains or a book with this money. Better a book. Brains, I'm afraid your body will reject it.
So, I don’t understand, what kind of strike is this? Lenin, get off the armored car, and you, brainless proletariat, join your leader and quickly get out, build your hopelessly dark future!
Nastya! You are my squirrel, Chernobyl!
- Andrey Evgenich, I love you so much! - Don’t worry, Semyon, it’s only until tomorrow morning. Tomorrow I will love you.
Nastya, how is this possible? You seem to have thought and still said nonsense!
“I look at you and think, you’re getting old, Andryusha.” - Kupitman, compared to you, I’m a baby with a pink butt.
Natanych! Don't be upset! She clearly got excited about her grandfather. You look more like your grandmother.
The best quotes from Dr. Bykov from the series “Interns”
Bykov to Lobanov: – That’s it, prepare the patient for discharge! - So, how about discharge?! - So, to check out! Or don't you know how to do it? Has anyone ever left you alive?
Bykov: “What impudence! How dare you call my intern a doctor?!!”
“What a violent prostitute” – Bykov
Bykov: “Stop putting words into sentences, you won’t succeed anyway.”
Bykov: What do you need, Doctor Lenin? Levin: I'm not Lenin! B: and you’re not a doctor!
Bykov to Cupidman: Sorry, I can’t help but ask the venereologist: “Did you wash your hands???????”
Bykov: - No manicure, no conscience...
Bykov: get to work, flayers!
Bykov: Let's quickly evolve to erectus and follow me!
Lobanov is in the toilet on the phone: I’ll tell Bykov that I’m sick. and the main thing is that this ghoul buys it. Well, let's see you later (left) Bykov leaving the booth: why only a ghoul? I should be tougher with him!
Bykov: where is my oil? I want to ride in it.
Well, now you two will work in this office, you and Nikolai Semenovich’s intestines!
Bykov: Run quickly to the sick, otherwise they will recover!
Bykov Romanenko: — Who are you hunting for? Or did you just go for a walk with an enema?
Bykov to Lobanov: “What kind of wife is this, is she cheaper or more expensive than the previous one, otherwise I’ll suddenly have to get married in half an hour, but I don’t know the prices.”
[Bykov] Come on, run, Tyson. And remember: “You can’t hit doctors! He (points to Levin) is allowed, but doctors are not.”
[Bykov] Yes! So to him! I would also give a star to the groin so as not to reproduce!! [Bykov] Levin, are you an idiot? No not like this. You're an idiot, Levin!!! [Bykov] Terrible person. He can pierce the carotid artery with an enema! [Bykov] - That's it, Lobanov, discharge him!! – How to write it out? - Has anyone ever left you alive? Don't know how to write?
Dear friends! You can’t imagine how difficult it is for me to combine three great titles: bastard, fascist, and head of your internship! But it was a lyrical introduction! Let's summarize your competition...
Bykov, I ask you as a mother. My son is in this group! Moreover, I won’t take it. He consists of 50% of you, and this is already too much.
You should have thought of this before, even if they were drunk or something.
Forget about the color of your diplomas and the fact that the word “doctor” is written on them - this is a lie! You don't know a damn thing! I never thought that venereologists even look into people’s eyes.
Well, what about Nastyukha? A syringe in your ear!
“Kupitman is a pussy doctor!”
You are not Varya, you are a Barbarian, a Barbarian!!!
I understood what your last name means. Kiss in English means to kiss, and yagach from ancient Turkic means ass Bykov: - Well, before you start killing people - listen to me!
Varya: What should I do? Bykov: - Get married, have a child, have a lover... In general, become a real woman!
Bykov to Levin: “Why are we so sad? The whole day has passed and the Nobel committee still hasn’t called us?”
Lobanov: “GO where?” Bykov: “IDIOT!!!”
Bykov eats a sandwich and Lobanov comes in with a bucket on his head - Bykov is a bastard, a freak (L) - I love you too Lobanov (B)
Bykov and Varya - A woman doctor?! If we don’t work together, what should I do? -change the gender!!!
Bykov and Levin - sorry, I wasn’t ready - so you blame him for not being sick because you know Bykov Chernous: - apparently I have to explain everything that can’t be done in my department. You can’t write love notes on the backs of patients, you can’t walk on stilts ,you can’t shoot from a machine gun, you can’t drink patient tests, you can’t put a game joystick up your butt, you can’t dry cats in microwave ovens, you can’t not pay taxes, you can’t lick electrical sockets, you can’t drink water from the toilet
About the heroes
Semyon Lobanov (Alexander Ilyin) Came into medicine because it happened that way. Served in the army. Works in an ambulance and doesn't get enough sleep all the time. Simple guy. Married. He never has money, so he borrows it from his colleagues all the time and smokes cigarettes. Constantly gets involved in some dubious enterprises. Science is not easy for him. As soon as he picks up the textbook, he falls asleep. Bykov about Lobanov: “Just an idiot.” Varvara Chernous (Kristina Asmus) A girl with ideals. Clean, honest, kind. I came into medicine not for money, but to save human lives. Does not tolerate any injustice. Believes that love should be one and last a lifetime. Bykov about Varvar: “Doctor Varvar!” Venereologist Ivan Natanovich Kupitman (Vadim Demchog) Bykov’s old friend from his institute days. Thanks to his specialization, he has collected a good collection of cognac in his office and periodically ruins it together with Bykov. A good doctor, an everyday philosopher, drinks a lot. He is not averse to making fun of the interns, which sometimes leads to unpredictable consequences. Bykov about Buy Andrey Evgenievich Bykov (Ivan Okhlobystin) Head of interns. Head of the therapeutic department, former vascular surgeon. Misanthrope. He devotes all his time to work, is a good specialist, and has a high reputation in the hospital. Ironic. Cynic. His personal life fell apart due to the fact that the doctor was always absent from work, but still earned little. The staff adores him, but doesn’t show it, because Bykov will immediately start making fun of him. Gleb Romanenko (Ilya Glinnikov) Son of the head physician Anastasia Kisegach. He took the surname of his father, from whom Kisegach is divorced. Naturally, I got into the hospital internship through connections. Because he does not have any outstanding medical talents. But he is a party person, sociable, women like him and loves to play pranks on his comrades. He doesn’t count money, for which he bears the proud title of major. Likes to be the center of attention and doesn't like to make a fuss about patients. He treats girls with consumerism. Bykov about Romanenko: “Chief doctor!” Boris Levin (Dmitry Sharakois) Came into medicine because all his relatives are doctors. Typical nerd with glasses. The sight of blood can make you faint. The most painful and impressionable. Knows Latin very well. True, he has no one to talk to in Latin except Bykov. Levin is the most educated of the interns. Dreams of becoming a great scientist and winning the Nobel Prize. He fears and idolizes women (because he has never had one), but in the hospital he is quickly treated for this. Bykov about Levin: “An armless embryo with honors, rickets with brains, a weak-willed homunculus.”
In order to correct your satisfied face, Kupitman, I will remind you: it is now 9:30 in the morning, you are a venereologist and you have an examination of an ocean of infectious pussies ahead of you.
I want you to know, Lobanov. Before you showed up, my biggest dream was sex with Monica Bellucci. When you showed up, you outshone Monica. For two months I dreamed of breaking your legs and you stole my dream. Well, that’s what kind of person you are, that’s how you managed...
Kupitman: I look at you and think - you’re getting old, Andryusha. Bykov: Kupitman, compared to you, I’m a baby with a pink butt.
Bykov: Do you know, Lobanov, that the brain of a dinosaur was the size of a walnut? Lobanov: So what? Bykov: Well, how's it going? This fact should make you jealous.
Levin - To Bykov - Andrei Evgenievich, I thought about your action for a long time... you, you... - Muskrat? - You are my idol! - Oh how. And you probably want a child from me? Sorry, I'm busy right now. Well, maybe in the evening.
Bykov to Lobanov's wife: Congratulations! Your husband has a concussion again, or more precisely in his case it would be correct to say: “vacuum concussion.” I'm tired of bandaging him collider.
— A watch is an intimate thing, just like a sailor’s underpants: once and for life.
“I’m a good doctor and I can easily find another difficult, bad job.” And you are a good mother, but you are unlikely to find another difficult, bad son...
Come closer, banderlogs!
Levin! You are a brainless ciliate, inflated with self-importance! You are a legless embryo with honors! I took my feet in my hands and ran! Absorb the invaluable experience of Lyubov Mikhailovna...
Chernous, stop yelling! In my department, either I scream or the patients when they find out that you will treat them!
- Romanenko, you idiot! You scared my rat with Lobanov!
- Ah, Lobanova. And I’m just looking at the details of your namesake. What destinies? - I'm talking about Semyon. - Well, the reason is so-so...
- What about Lobanov, are your eyes widening? Don't you have anything to do? - Yes, I’m actually going to see my wife. — Now your wife is a doctor. Let's put our hands on our feet and march to fulfill our marital duties!
- I’ll give you a circumcision for this... well, that means another one!
- Nastya, you know, I don’t know how to find a common language with children. They are afraid of me, and, as a result, they pee.
- Lobanov, you've messed up so much lately that if I burn you at the stake, I'll still go to heaven - What else? - Well, what? Bend your fingers while they last...
Tomorrow I appoint you Caesar. You'll have to do three jobs at once: labor, donkey and work hard.
- Why are you kicking the bullet here? — We’re resting after a hard day at work, why can’t we? - So you are resting after your holiday? Cool - in Lobanov style!
Bykov to Kupitman - When you giggle, you look like a lustful lap dog. - And you look like a pooping bull terrier.
- Do you want me to help you? — I was always afraid to hear this phrase from a venereologist...
- Andrey Evgenievich! Andrey Evgenievich! -What do you want, disaster girl?
Bykov, looking at Lobanov with a broken leg in a cast: Okay, let's assume that there is one less scythe in your death squad.
— Kupitman, what day have you been drinking? - Third. - And to be honest? - Twelfth. - When you drink, do you eat? - Only kosher. - So, no? - No.
Bykov, seeing a gothically dressed and painted guy at the reception: Evon, again the orderlies forgot to close the gates of hell. The fact that you stole powder from your mother and drank beer in the cemetery does not make you a real Dark One. A goth should have darkness in his soul, not in his jewelry. You are still a brat to serve our black-eyed mistress of death.
Apparently I have to list for you everything that cannot be done in my department. You can't write love notes on patients' backs! You can't walk on stilts! You can't shoot from a machine gun! You can't drink patient tests! You can't put my game joystick up your butt! Cats should not be dried in microwave ovens! You can't not pay taxes! Do not lick electrical sockets! You can't drink water from the toilet...
- You fell asleep in the toilet at my house! - Well, I was drunk. - A magical excuse, magical, but you not only fell asleep, you also locked yourself in there, ALL NIGHT! BADLA!
- He's a teddy bear! - Koala. - Doesn't matter!
What crisis?! You sell vodka in Russia! You must thrive in a crisis!
You're a budget enema
- Terrible man! You can't turn your back on him. He can stick an enema into the carotid artery!
Bongiorno, animal kingdom, class of unicellular organisms. You, ciliate slipper, are attacking the new guy in the seventh ward. You, algae, are getting your way, otherwise he’s on the mend. You, the virus, are the third parasite. Well, you, my beloved amoeba, if you don’t remember, take a piece of paper and a pencil and we’ll write it down. Let's start with the procedure - there the dog vomited.
“I don’t know what motivated you, Lobanov.” I rule out logic right away...
“These people, children, will tell you everything about puberty.” Maybe they'll show you something... if they can't resist!
Natanych, you are old, like mammoth shit, for love affairs
-...Go to the VIP room and give our privileged patient a prostate massage. - Wait, what, what, through... this is it? I can't. - Well, how can you not, if your whole life is through “this is this.”
- Here, Andrey Evgenievich, coffee. 3 tablespoons of sugar, everything as you asked... - I didn’t ask, I ordered. Make a new one! - Is this one bad?! — Put your finger in the coffee. - For what? - Stick it in!.. stick it out. Turn on your logic! The master will never drink coffee where his slave has just stuck his dirty finger. Make a new one! - You told me yourself... - Well, you're a nuclear idiot! It's cold coffee! I want hot coffee! Make a new one!
— My patient is fine. - Of course it’s normal, you didn’t even visit him today!
- Kupitman, you have no conscience, like a sailor’s fly!
Lobanov fills out hospital cards, next to Bykov: Bykov: Yes, Lobanov, your calligraphy confirms the place where your hands grow.
L: Hello, Andrey Evgenievich... B: And you won’t die!
Nastya, my Chernobyl squirrel!!!
Bykov: You will be my slave, a wordless, powerless creature, ready to fulfill all my whims. Lobanov: That's it? Bykov: Well, almost everyone - for some you are not suitable.
... it's like being in a bath with a crocodile - interesting, but not enough time...
- Doctor, will I be operated on tomorrow?! - Of course they will, you can’t handle it yourself.
- Well, who can tell me when you made a mistake? — When they rolled the woman in labor into the elevator! - No... when the documents were submitted to the medical office.
- Well, am I my own enemy or what? — Good question, Lobanov. Think about it carefully, the right answer is sometimes unexpected.
Bykov to Anastasia Kisegach: “That’s it, squirrel, today the one who was with us from the first day in this hospital passed away. - Natanich or what? - Ugh, it would be better if Natanych. The MRI machine burned to hell!
Oh, Kupitman is a ruthless exterminator of treponemas, chlamydia and other nasty creatures; potential hero of the poster “We will cure alcoholism.”
Bon Voyage. Or as they say in America, Welcome to hell.
Kisegach - Bykov - Andrey, I even like that they are together. Don't you think this is somehow natural? You and I are together, they are together. This is fate, Andrey. - This is nonsense, Nastya! You and I - this is all right, this is something from antiquity. And Gleb and Alisa are like a ferret and a lioness: disgusting, absurd, unnatural!
Who talks about justice? I am a heartless boss, and Chernous is my wordless, powerless intern, obliged to carry out all my crazy, meaningless orders without question. This is what Russian medicine stands for!
-...Oh, it will be hard for you, oh, it will be hard. You don't have a steel core, no. Do you have any chewing gum? - Nope. - There is no rod, no chewing gum. What kind of person are you.
Syoma, in my ranking of intelligent beings you will soon take the place of a fur seal.
I didn’t understand anything from your phonetic diarrhea, Lobanov.
Nikolachev from the 5th ward, shave his groin - he has surgery tomorrow. Only extremely delicately - for men of his age this is a shock.
In my department, they treat you exclusively with standard medication methods, which you actually refused. And you can drink your urine at home. Add lemon and mint there, it will be called urino-mojito, it should be very invigorating.
- Galya, my soul. Please make me a syringe with water. - With water?! - Well, yes. There's one there. simple illness.
Chernous to Bykov - Do you think I’m completely stupid? - Well, it’s not that it’s so incorrect, but the direction of thought is correct.
Get to work, flayers!
LiveInternetLiveInternet
cue embryo with honors diploma. Witches and ghouls - a coven on duty. Whoever is last takes out the ducks! Well, let’s say that Lobanov’s wife is a prostitute... But the prostitute’s husband, Lobanov, is nonsense! - How are things going with my most beloved patient, from whom not a single complaint has been received for the entire month? - Fine. He's still in a coma. Bykov: - Lobanov, what’s the problem? - What makes you think that I have a problem? - Lobanov, you’re Lobanov, you must have a problem!! Bykov to Lobanov: – That’s it, prepare the patient for discharge! - So, how about discharge?! - So, to check out! Or don't you know how to do it? Has anyone ever left you alive? - Lobanov, why are you so solemn, it’s too early for the wake. Your patient, no matter what, may still recover. — Congratulations, colleague, today you opened your cemetery. (Andrei Evgenievich to intern Lobanov.) Bykov is eating a sandwich and Lobanov comes in with a bucket on his head: “Gleb, give me the Vaseline quickly, God forbid this fascist comes now, damn it, there are so many normal doctors in the hospital, we got this bastard!” - And I love you too, Lobanov! — A female doctor?!? - we won’t work together!!!... - What should I do?! - Change the gender! - What should I do? - And you find yourself a man, have a child from him, have a lover, in general, become a real woman! — Andrey Evgenievich, I want to be a doctor! — A woman doctor is not even funny, castrating cats is interesting! Bykov: “What impudence! How dare you call my intern a doctor?!!” - I got hard in the morgue! - It happens - No, you didn’t think about that, my corpse came to life in the morgue! - Come out, regain consciousness and go in... -Romanenko, while you’re thinking, I’ll tell you a funny story: They call me from the operating room and say, we’ve already started the operation and there’s no patient, but don’t rush, we’ll cut the air for now - Is the pain sharp or dull? ? - Acute... - Acute?! -... Stupid. - Stupid?? - Well, such - average stupidity. It was necessary to think of something like this. At least they were drunk. Are you out hunting for someone, or are you just walking around with an enema? - Well, have you sharpened the ax of your stupidity? You blame him for not being sick because of what you know. He can't answer you, he's busy, he's dying. - Go ahead, Lobanov, and buy yourself some brains or a book with this money. But it’s better to read a book, because your brain may reject your body! - Now I understand who the boss is here. department, and who “Hey, you white-haired woodpecker, got out of the way!”? Stop putting words into sentences, you won’t succeed anyway Bykov: What do you need, Doctor Lenin? Levin: I'm not Lenin! B: and you’re not a doctor - No manicure, no conscience... - Why do you lie all the time? -Nastya, I’m a state employee, all state employees lie, there’s no other way. to work flayers! Let's quickly evolve to bipedal and follow me! - Well, before you start killing people - listen to me - What about the flayers? How many living souls were lost during the night? - Before your punitive squad begins its outrages in the territories entrusted to me... I want to remind you of the most important rule: you are foreign bodies in a healthy medical body. (Head of the department. Bykov to interns) Run faster to the sick, otherwise they will recover! You are foreign bodies in a healthy body of medicine. We won’t cure it, we’ll open it up. Right? - Well, nurses with diplomas, who wants to go home?...Great, today your home will be the emergency department. Dear friends! You can’t imagine how difficult it is for me to combine three great titles: bastard, fascist, and head of your internship! But it was a lyrical introduction! Let’s sum up the results of your competition... - Well, go ahead, Tyson. And remember: “You can’t beat doctors!” He (points to Levin) is allowed, but doctors are not.” Lobanov is in the toilet on the phone: I’ll tell Bykov that I’m sick. and the main thing is that this ghoul buys it. Well, let's see you later (left) Bykov leaving the booth: why only a ghoul? You should be tougher with him! Bykov to Levin: “Why are we so sad? The whole day has passed and the Nobel committee still hasn’t called us?” Lobanov: “GO where?”Bykov: “IDIOT!!!
