Gentlemen of Fortune
It's dinner in prison now. They give pasta...
Why me? Almost immediately, Oblique, Oblique...
— There are many interesting games. Cities, for example. I say “Moscow”, you mean “A”. Astrakhan, for example, and you, therefore, start with “N” - Novgorod. Speak, Fedya. - What about me? - Well, speak “D”. — Vorkuta. — Why Vorkuta? - I was sitting there.
- Why are you holding him? Let him go. Did he have a year? Three for escaping. Five for kindergarten. Go, go, Vasya. - Pencil. - E pencil. - Table - E table. - Young woman. - Dude. - No, in English. - ... - Girl. - Oh, yes, yes, girl! - Yes, yes, OBHSS!
Hey citizen! Don't go there, go here. Otherwise the snow will get into your head. You'll be completely dead!
- It's boring without vodka. - Do you have to get drunk like a pig? You can just sit and have a heart-to-heart talk. “I’m not a prosecutor to have a heart-to-heart talk with you.”
- Girl, girl, what’s your name? - Tanya. - And I'm Fedya. - What a fool.
A razor to the throat - and into the well!
All. There will be no kin... The electricity has run out.
I want women's shoes. Three jokes. Size 42, 43, 45.
- What society are you from? — “Labor Reserves” — So, “Dynamo” is also running? - Everyone is running!
Politeness is a thief's best weapon.
- I’m a lousy jackal, I steal and steal... - What are you stealing? - I’m sitting here on the rack... It’s already been stolen. Well, I'm off.
- Girl, girl! What is your name? - Marina. - And I'm Fedya. - What a fool.
- So this is you? - No, it's not us!
Yes, yes, OBHSS!
- Get out of here! - Whoa! And let it go!
Who's going to put him in prison? He's a monument!
— We are gluing on a wig for you. - So. — We draw a tattoo. - So. - And we put you in prison. - So... What is this for?
Food is served, sit down and eat, please!
Walk the horse, walk the horse! A century of will is not in sight.
Oh! Already shaved...
Let him get out of here, otherwise I’ll knock off his horns, tear his mouth, and gouge out his blinkers. You will work for medicine all your life! Sausage, sausage, radish. Nebochaudnezzar, Hamburg rooster!
That's it, comrades! Fenita la comedy.
- Run away. - Let it go. Cutting off. - Right. Tell a lie. - It's bullshit to push. - Beer house. - Nausea. - Robbery. - GOP stop. - Bad person. - Radish. - Good man. - Forgot…
I’ll buy a car with a tape recorder, sew a suit with a tint - and off to Yalta!
Please shut up! They arranged a daisy here - I remember, I don’t remember...
Baby! Don't you think your place is near the bucket?
- How many souls have I killed, how many souls have I cut, how many souls have I ruined... I’ll gouge out blinkers! - Help! Hooligans take away your sight!
San Sanych! And Gavrila Petrovich is swearing at the hairdryer.
He who? A private engineer, that's all. So what kind of life does he have? In the morning to work, in the evening from work. My wife is at home, my children are snotty. Well, he goes to the theater, well, in the summer he goes to a sanatorium in Yalta. Mortal melancholy. And you! You're a thief! Good luck gentleman! Stole, drank - go to jail! Stole, drank - go to jail! Romance!
Physical education - hello, uncle! Salam alaikum!
- What was your deadline? - Adina year. - And now they’ll solder three more.
The more we rent, the better.
On the train I fell headfirst and hit myself. I remember here, there’s nothing here...
Ahhh! Wow! Wow, wow!
- What do you have? - Necessary!
My job is to raise children, not to run around the Union with swindlers.
It’s not a small thing for you to rummage through your pockets...
Yes, we all have good faces.
- Listen, Associate Professor. Did I tell you I'm done? - Said. “Did I tell you it’s better not to come?” - Said. “Did I tell you, I’ll throw you down the stairs?” - Said. - Well, don’t be offended!
Your money will be ours.
- What is your name? - Alibaba. - I told you to leave your nicknames aside! - This is the last name, and the first name is Vasily Alibabaevich, Vasya.
This Vasily Ali-Babaevich, this bad man, dropped a battery on my leg... Bastard!
Catchphrases from your favorite movies
"Love and pigeons"
* - What if this is love?
- What kind of love is that?! - Ordinary! * When I die, I’ll invite Vaska to the funeral, but I won’t let you, the stubble-eater, go! * Girls, stop your mother! * Do you know what she called me? Mityunushka!.. And I call her Sanyushka! * And, characteristically, they loved each other! * - Lyudk, oh Lyudk, look at how painted the bitch is! * Lyudk, what kind of pyspy is this? * “Lyudk, and Lyudk...” ugh... village!... * - Well, why painted, this is my natural color * Well, as you want. But starting tomorrow I’m also in opposition with you. * - She keeps asking: “Where is the business money, where is the business money?” - Where is the business money? * They treated the organs of movement... Smash these organs of movement! * Sorry for stopping you from hiding the money, but I have the right to say goodbye to my friend. * mycardial infarction - this is such a scar. * - Are you going to this gorgon? - No, I'm going to see my wife. * If I find out which of you sees your father, I’ll curse you! * Characteristically, the son did not approve of his father’s action. * Eh, Vasya... Office Romance
* What distinguishes a business woman from a woman?
Gait! * Why did he die, I didn’t give him such an order... How did he die? * I have such an impeccable reputation that I should have been compromised a long time ago. * I have two children: a boy and... a boy. * When a woman is told that she is smart, does that mean that she is a complete fool? * And go... to the accounting department!!! * She's all curled up, shrivelled, like an old torn shoe, and now she's scratching herself for work, as if she's driving in piles! * - You said that I was evil! - Good! - Why am I callous! - No, you are soft! - Dry! - Wet! * Will there be men there? * We really love you deep in our souls... somewhere very deeply... * - I want to sing. - What a misfortune! * - You are a real modern man! - How dare you insult me like that?! * — Do you like berries? - Exclusively in the form of jam. — How do you feel about poetry... in the form of poetry? * - Well, what do you think of my hairstyle? - To die is not to rise. - I think so too. * - How do you like the boots? — Very provocative, I wouldn’t wear them. - So, you need to take good boots. * A cigarette? A match? Boxes? * - Chest forward! - You flatter me. * We have a bump, we have a work injury... * In a word, what are they wearing now? - Why do you need it? * You are our democratic one! * The minister will wait. Captive of the Caucasus
- ...and disrupted the grand opening of the Wedding Palace.
Then, on the ruins of the chapel... - Excuse me... did I destroy the chapel too? - No, it was before you - in the 14th century. - ...otherwise - memento more! - Instantly. - At sea!.. - You reason apolitically, you reason apolitically, I swear, honestly! You don't understand the political situation! You see life only from the window of my personal car, I swear, honestly! - Bambarbia! Kergudu! - What did he say? - He says: if you refuse, they will... kill you... Joke! - Joke! Living, as they say, is good! - And living well is even better! - Exactly! - And a free trip... - To Siberia! - Now I have only 2 ways out of this house: either I take her to the registry office, or she takes me to the prosecutor. - No need... - I don’t want to. - No, I don’t drink... - Do I drink? What's there to drink?! - This is... what's his name... voluntarism! - In my house - don't bend around... ...and a toast without wine is the same as a wedding night without a bride... Cursed be the day when I sat down at the steering wheel of this vacuum cleaner! You have not justified the high level of trust placed in you! You asked for 3 copies! Long live our court - the most humane court in the world! May his carburetor dry up forever and ever! Yes, we still educate our youth poorly!.. I have a desire to buy a house, but I don’t have the opportunity. I have the opportunity to buy a goat, but... I have no desire. So let's drink to ensure that our desires always coincide with our capabilities... In short, Sklikhosovsky! The car is a beast, listen! Mimino
- ...he will be pleased.
When he is pleased, I will feel that I am pleased too. And you say it straight! - They’re waiting for me in Ordzhonikidze... - You know what, I’ll tell you a smart thing, but don’t be offended: when I’m pleased, I’ll deliver it... so that you’ll be pleased too! - Please sit down. - Thank you, I’ll stand on foot... - What can you say about this incident? - I can tell you everything. This... - The victim. - ... the victim opened the door, and Valiko-jan... - The defendant. - ... and the defendant said: “Hello, daragoy.” And the victim said: Sorry, I want to go to the toilet... one Georgian is a friend of mine... Hello... I want Larisa Ivanovna. Alla, let's go to the restaurant, we'll dance back and forth... Valik-jan, I'll tell you one smart thing, but don't be offended: you and she are not two pairs of boots... Rubik-jan! Don't be offended, but I'll tell you one smart thing. Your car is parked in the neighboring yard. I think so!.. Say that the car was stolen!!! Listen, what moral person would come to Moscow without money?.. Well, I went back and forth to the restaurant, had a bite and finished. I have such personal hostility towards the victim that I can’t eat!.. These “Zhiguli”... what they think, I don’t know. Under your feet they spin, spin, spin... I’ll tell you one smart thing - but don’t be offended... I think so!.. Gentlemen of fortune
* - There was also a tree like that!
- Is it a Christmas tree? - You yourself are a Christmas tree! They tell you - HERE! * Women's shoes, please... Sizes 42, 43, 45! * - Why did you run away? - Everyone ran and I ran... * Walk a horse, there’s no will in sight! * All! There will be no kin! The electricity is out! * San Sanych, give me a chervonets, please, I’ll buy a kerosene stove! * How many have I stabbed, how many have I cut, how many souls have I let into the next world... * - I’ll tear the jaws, gouge out the blinkers... - Guard, hooligans are depriving you of your sight!!! * - Girl, and girl, what’s your name? - Tanya. - And I’m Fedya! - What a fool! * Stole, drank, went to prison!.. * And in prison now dinner is pasta! * — Is the monument seated? - What an eccentric man, who will put him in jail?! He's a monument! * - What society are you from? - Labor reserves! — Is Dynamo running? - Everyone is running! * I’m telling you exactly - it was the taxi driver who stole the money! I didn’t like his face right away! * They will notice us - for sure! We are sitting here like three poplars on Plyushchikha!.. * And this is our junior...researcher. * This bad man will betray us at the first danger! * - Table? - E table. - Young woman? - Dude. - No! Girl! - Oh, yes, girl! - Yes, Yes... OBHS! * You will work for medicine all your life!!! * Vasya, I told him just now in Russian - I have a runny nose! And he is a mouth, a mouth... * - And my mother said that you are a test pilot.. - A raider pilot... * What good cement... It doesn’t wash off at all!.. * This bad man dropped a battery on my leg, you bastard! * Who diluted gasoline with donkey urine? * Hey, citizen! Don't go there, go here! The snow will fall on your head... * So this is in Turkey... It’s warm there... * But he said that he would go empty! * Oh, they've already shaved... * Such a good girl, and her father is a huckster, a speculator... * Here he comes... a bad man!.. * Buy a card, village! * It's not a small thing for you to pick through your pockets! * Maybe Chamomile will stop playing? I remember here, I don’t remember here... * Sausage-sausage-Nebuchadnezzar! Rooster of Gambur! * Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! * It's not him! * The more we rent, the better! * I would cut you all, but I don’t want to bother. * And this is our junior... researcher * - It’s you! Are you that... - What is that?! - Don't be disgraceful. * Right! And let it go! Twelve chairs
- your political credo? - Always!
- Well, father! Are there any brides in your city? - Who needs a mare as a bride... - I have no more questions. - Allow me, comrades! I have all the moves written down! - The office writes! - This is our friend! - The fool himself! ...the meeting continues! ...and separated like ships at sea... ...I warn you: we have long arms! Do you know who this powerful old man is? This is a giant of thought, the father of Russian democracy and a person close to the Emperor. I’m telling you as a person tormented by Narzan... For this you need to hit your face! Abroad will help us! Kitty! I have long wanted to ask you as an artist: can you draw? Whoever says that this is a girl, let him be the first to throw a stone at me! The ice has broken, gentlemen of the jury! The ice has broken!.. Maybe I can give you another key to the apartment where the money is? My dad was a Turkish citizen! You and I are strangers at this celebration of life...money in the morning, chairs in the evening. Or money in the evening - chairs at night... Don't be afraid: this is not delirium tremens yet. Ostap got carried away... Shall we go to the rooms? Half of mine is half of ours... How much is opium for the people?! Russia will not forget you! Tell me... Can’t two hundred rubles save a giant of thought? Soon the cats will be born! Listen to me, abortion victim... Go there and swing... I'll give you a parabellum! I believe that bargaining is inappropriate here! How much is opium for the people?! Dictionary of Ellochka the cannibal
Hamite.
Ho-ho! (Expresses, depending on the circumstances, irony, surprise, delight, hatred, joy, contempt and satisfaction.) Famous. Darkness. Gloomy. (In relation to everything. For example: “gloomy Petya has come”, “gloomy weather”, “gloomy incident”, “gloomy cat”, etc.) Creepy. (Creepy. For example, when meeting a good friend: “creepy meeting”). Boy. (In relation to all men I know, regardless of age and social status). Don't teach me how to live. Like a child. (“I beat him like a child” - when playing cards. “I cut him off like a child” - apparently, in a conversation with the responsible tenant). C-r-beauty! Thick and beautiful. (Used as a characteristic of inanimate and animate objects). Let's go by cab. (Said to husband). Let's go in a taxi. (To male acquaintances). Your entire back is white (just kidding). Just think! Ulya. (Affectionate ending of names. For example: Mishulya, Zinulya). Wow! (Irony, surprise, delight, hatred, joy, contempt and satisfaction). Updated 25/09/10 12:28
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The most charming and attractive
And who likes to sing loudly in the bathhouse?
Even the most backward sections of the population are already wearing jeans! Water is only for institute employees! Drink, Lekha! Perhaps he is an introvert with the habits of an informal leader! This is the first time I’ve seen trainers who don’t have pineapples! Cardin! We have two or three of these in the Union. And even with the wives of diplomats from non-aligned countries! - Lesha, your shoelace is untied! - And he was untied! - We cannot expect favors from nature. Taking them from her is our task. Remember this. - Michurin's words. - No, mine. Because Michurin said this about apple and pear trees, and I’m talking about men. Don't you see? By cotton and by label! Don't be nervous about that piccolo flute. It’s okay, a man can have a harmless hobby. Well, we don't have pineapples! - Oh, what boys are in this carriage... - Come on, come on, girls... Out of harm's way! - Tell your aunt thank you. - Mudlobt! — Randomness is a special case of a pattern. - Well done, Klyueva! I think you will master chess. Calculation in this matter? No! Only feelings! What, are you from the Urals? You are all baking something, girls, you are baking... It would be better if you fermented cabbage, or something... What is this? The clown Oleg Popov himself came to us?! We'll call this cookie something romantic... "Maestro"! I am an entertainer and artistic director of the VIA “Cheerful Decibels”. Updated 09/25/10 12:43
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Moscow doesn’t believe in tears
- Alexandra, what does your mother call you? - Marusya. Yes, it was me who called! And it is possible that I will not only call, but also write to the organization where you and your son work. Evil must and will be punished! If I could now drink a glass of soda - I’m terribly thirsty - I would be absolutely happy. Don’t teach me how to live, better help me financially! No, we work in different places, but I hope we will live together. I suggest making friends at home! Thank you, I make good money. The future belongs to television... There will be no newspapers, no books, no cinema, no theaters, but there will be one continuous television. “The fact that I don’t have a wedding ring doesn’t mean that I’m not married.” “Even if you had three wedding rings, they wouldn’t make you look like a married woman.” You have the look of an unmarried woman. Hello. The hostel is listening. Why don't you iron the laces? -How is the weather there? — It has been raining since the morning. - What is going on in the world anyway? - There is no stability. Terrorists hijacked the plane again. -Which hostel?.. Ah, grandma is joking. Yesterday guests from Novosibirsk arrived to us, so she began to call our apartment a hostel. Our person! - Where are they, guys? They've all degenerated to hell! Just look who goes to the theater and exhibitions now... It’s just women. And these ones lie on the ottoman and stare at the TV. Or they sit in pubs. Not forty yet, but they have grown bellies, all wrinkled, uncleaned shoes... - Georgy Ivanovich, aka Goga, aka Gosha, aka Yuri, aka Gora, aka Zhora, lives here? — Obviously not disfigured by intellect. And you should have gone to Moscow. You could find something like this in your village. —I got a pass to the scientific halls of the Lenin Library. - For what? - Can you imagine what a contingent! Academicians, doctors, philosophers. - So what? Will you watch them read? - You understand a lot! There is also a smoking room there. “To become a general, you have to marry a lieutenant and travel with him around garrisons for twenty years, through all sorts of taiga, through deserts.
