Sincere people themselves are most likely lovers. They want to talk about their love and share their feelings. If you are one of them, we heartily congratulate you! And we are also sure that sharing your happiness with other people is so wonderful! You can also put funny statuses about love on your pages on social networks. After all, love and humor may well be nearby!
And we have just prepared funny quotes and aphorisms about love: short, with meaning, to yourself, to your boyfriend and girlfriend, from films and books.
Listen, love, stop wandering around already!
Funny quotes and aphorisms about love with meaning
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Love is not when someone brings you a bouquet of roses and you smell it. Love is when they tell you all day about 95 gasoline, and you listen to it.
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The phrase “let’s remain friends” is deciphered as follows: “I don’t love you anymore, but it’s nice for me to watch how you love me.”
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Love? The soul is in a psychiatric hospital, the body is in bed, the heart is on sick leave, and the brain... and the brain is generally in shock...
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Love is the best antidepressant, weight loss remedy, energy drink and drug in one bottle!
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Malvina’s story once again proved that a woman can easily fall in love with a man, albeit one with a wooden head, but one who has a Golden Key.
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Darling, tell me 3 magnificent words that forever unite loved ones? Honey, I'm pregnant!
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Love is six letters: 2 vowels, 3 consonants, a soft sign and two crazy ones!
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Love comes... Love leaves... Love comes... Love leaves... Listen, stop hanging around already!
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One day you will ask me what I love more – you or life? I will answer - a car. And you will leave without knowing that I also love chocolate with nuts and pistachios.
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“True love does not exist without pain,” the bunny thought and hugged the hedgehog tightly...
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I wish all the girls that they have a beloved and loving guy! Why? Yes, I hope they stop hanging on to MY boyfriend!!!
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Men love little by little, but very often. Women love a lot, but extremely rarely.
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If your husband cleans up after himself and washes his socks and underpants, washes the dishes for himself, sometimes cooks for himself, and is in a good mood, he is in love... If he’s lucky, he’s in love with you.
Instead of sitting down and quietly “howling”, learn to love yourself: not a cripple, not a freak... feet in hand and forward. Lyudmila Shcherblyuk
What is love?
The best statuses about love: funny, short and sensual. If you think you know everything about this feeling, you are mistaken.
- I have been in love with one person for a long time... every day I see him and every day I admire his beauty... when I pass by the mirror.
- True love is when you constantly stop yourself from telling the truth.
- A real loving man never knows the size of his beloved's breasts. Because he looks into her soul, and not into her bra.
- Love, of course, can be evil, but the goat better not count on it.
- The Bible teaches that you should love your neighbor, and the Kama Sutra explains exactly how.
- Dear girls! If you want to remain “just friends” with a man, then warn about this in advance, and not in the middle of the wedding ceremony!
- Oh, how I want to hug my beloved man and hear from him a gentle “I love you”... Should I call my dad?
- Love is not being shy about being stupid together.
- Love is the most terrible disease: it puts two people into bed at once.
- Dear princes on a white horse, please stop singing serenades under the window. Otherwise you'll have to talk to the king.
- If there is no love and affection, then can we at least have chocolate?
- If love is blind, then marriage is the best eye doctor.
- Until recently, the word “love” was like a dress from Coco Chanel. Now - a Chinese T-shirt from the market. And tomorrow we’ll be running around naked!
- To understand the beauty of a good relationship, you must first experience a bad one.
- Love, she is like a fox - beautiful, fluffy, but try to play with her, and she will bite so hard that you will never recover.
- Love is like hot water in the fall, it always turns on unexpectedly and also disappears unexpectedly. And always not according to your will.
- Love is the universal answer to all old questions. But marriage raises too many new ones.
- Love is a sweet dream, marriage is an alarm clock.
Who do I love? I’ll answer honestly: I love myself! Yourself wonderful!
Funny quotes about self-love
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...Whom do I love? I’ll answer honestly: I love myself! Yourself wonderful! I love myself and forgive myself everything. And I dedicate this anthem to myself...
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I love it when someone is in a good mood, someone’s salary was raised, someone bought an awesome dress... I love it even more when that someone is ME!
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They say you need to love yourself. I took a closer look at myself: but there was nothing to love. I will love you just like that - for what you have!
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They say a woman should love herself... But I’m embarrassed to ask, if you sit and play shooting games while the whole family is working, is this self-love or is it arrogance?
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Almost all men are monogamous... They love one person all their lives - themselves... their beloved.
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I love it when people love me! When I am loved, I love myself even more!
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You need to love not only yourself as a whole, but also your individual parts. For example, if you love your lungs, then you will quit smoking. Yuri Serezhkin
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A beautiful woman always smiles at me in the mirror! And I smile back at her, let her be pleased too!
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It's a shame when you can't kiss the person you love, even on the cheek, because it's you.
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How could you? Mom, how are you? How could you give birth to such a smart and beautiful girl like me?!
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If you want tenderness, wrap yourself in an old, warm, terry robe. Yeah, not sexy, but such a sweetheart! Larisa Vlasyuk
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I'm alone at home, this is important! And any desire is a law. “What do you want, my dear? Stars from the sky? Broth with noodles? Lyubov Kostarev
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Without wasting your labors in vain, love yourself. Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin
Funny aphorisms about relationships
Hello everyone, here are some cool aphorisms about relationships:
Only his lips can shut my mouth... I love him!
We are all in the hustle and bustle of love, then we are not the same, then we are not the same
Man's love is partial, it does not capture the whole being. Women's love is more holistic. The woman becomes obsessed. This is the mortal danger of female love. There is magic in a woman's love, but it is despotic. Nikolay Berdyaev
Take care of your relationships, otherwise you will have to take care of your memories.
Only love creates what is durable and living, and pride is fruitless, because it does not need anything outside itself. Alexander Herzen
Cloudy...possible precipitation...
A bachelor is one who wishes to have a wife, but is glad that he does not have one. Henry Mencken
Cheating on your wife is immoral. Not changing is stupid. But it is known that the cause of immorality is stupidity. Vicious circle. David Samoilov
The beauty of a woman, of course, is to be new and change forever. Lope de Vega
You and I breathe the same air - my love!
The memory of first love discolors new love.
Bear with me, baby, I will also marry you.
A woman in love would rather forgive a major indiscretion than a small infidelity. Francois de La Rochefoucauld
The subscriber's heart enjoys love...
Love leaves like a true gentleman, without saying goodbye, in English,
Our love is a temple for two, and there are no thirds in it!
We met too early. to realize it's love and it's too late to just be friends.
I love you - And how do you love me? - Like a complete fool.
A woman is your shadow: when you follow her, she runs away from you; when you leave her, she runs after you. Alfred de Musset
Just one word love can change the whole world!
If you are not a fatalist, you can remain a bachelor. Don Aminado
But sometimes you want to go back to childhood, when we didn’t know what love was!
The disease of love is incurable! A. S. Pushkin
You may be just a person in this world, but for someone you are the whole world.
Love is an unknown thing that comes from unknown where and ends unknown when.
Love is not a choice of the best, but of your own...
When you love, the beat of your heart is heard by everyone around you, when you hate it is heard only in your head, when you die only you stop hearing it, but it remains with those who love you
You are the most precious thing I have.
People don’t believe in rheumatism or true love until the first attack.
When you truly love, you never get bored.
Love is never given for free. Only she usually reliably hides her price tag. Wilhelm Schwöbel
For some, joy is the first night spent together, and for others, joy is just a glance...
Love for one's homeland is the first virtue of a civilized person. Napoleon I Bonaparte
I'll put flowers on the edge of your pastel.
The charm of newness in love is like the blossoming of fruit trees: it quickly fades and never returns. Francois de La Rochefoucauld
When faith dies, love dies too
There are women with whom no one falls in love, but whom everyone loves. There are women with whom everyone falls in love, but whom no one loves. The only happy woman is the one whom everyone loves, but with whom only one is in love. Vasily Klyuchevsky
Smile, because everything is just beginning for us...
Love is not tarnished by friendship. The end is the end. Erich Maria Remarque
How cute you are, I adore you.
If a woman writes you a passionate letter, it means that she is passionate about you; but whether she loves you is still unclear. Warm and tender love is uncommunicative and self-absorbed; a woman whose heart is deeply touched longs to know whether she is loved, but does not at all seek to tell about her love. Jean de La Bruyère
I'm sorry, but I can't find any kind words. I just want to say that I love you!
The heart is also accessible when it feels envy:
It's a pity that you can't be added to the VKontakte wishlist.
If it weren't for love, people would get along with each other. Yukio Mishima
Love is the attraction of mind, body and heart.
What a pearl is to a shell, love is to another woman’s heart—its only treasure, but also an incurable illness. J. Eotvos
You can cheat on guys, but not on principles!
Time heals lovesickness. Ovid
What's wrong! Something is wrong! Something is missing! I know what! You next to me!
When a person loves, he often doubts what he believes in most. Francois de La Rochefoucauld
There is no such thing as friendship between a guy and a girl... Someone is bound to love
Love is a huge exaggeration of the difference between one person and everyone else. Bernard Show
Happy is he who is in love...
Whoever curses his father and his mother, his lamp will go out in the midst of deep darkness. Proverbs of Solomon (ch. 20, cm. 20)
And to love me weakly for nothing, just like that...?!
Only love creates what is durable and living, and pride is fruitless, because it does not need anything outside itself. Alexander Herzen
Love is what makes you smile even when you are tired.
Women are created to be loved, not to be understood. Oscar Wilde
I will achieve everything I want and you are next on my wish list...
As for hugs and kisses, they in themselves do not deserve condemnation if their purpose is to bring each other closer and unite, since the soul desires to reach the object of its love with its inherent senses of touch and sight. Avicenna
Don't look for the perfect girl. I'm home.
Women speak more than men. Montesquieu
I want love, warmth, tenderness, flowers and chocolate!
Passion is a mocking, crafty deity, closer to the elves than to the gods. She loves to make fun of us. When we are finally able to give in to her, she leaves both or one of us. Clive Staples Lewis
It's a pity that you can't be added to the VKontakte wishlist.
Whoever imagines that the object of his love has received pleasure or displeasure, he himself will also feel pleasure or displeasure, and each of these affects will be more or less in the lover, the more or less he feels in the beloved object. Benedict Spinoza
But there are no chance meetings... This is either a test or a punishment or a gift of fate.
What you do in the bedroom doesn't matter, as long as you don't do it outside and spook the horses. Stella Patrick Campbell
Love is when you increasingly notice his habits.
Do not be jealous of the wife of your heart and do not teach her a bad lesson against you. Wisdom of Jesus, son of Sirach (ch. 9, cm. 1)
I want to be the reason for your happiness...
When love is the goal of your desires, it turns out to be selfishness. Wilhelm Schwöbel
Love, like a house of cards, can take years to build, but collapse in an instant...
Love is hunger for a person, a feeling of incredible psychological need for him. This is perhaps the most acute spiritual hunger, and the stronger it is, the more space a loved one takes up in the soul. When falling in love, a woman wants to tie the knot, and a man wants a knot as a keepsake. Konstantin Melikhan
I'll put flowers on the edge of your pastel.
Women are always superior to men in the kind of wisdom that comes from experience. Being a woman is a tremendous experience in itself. Henry Mencken
Among people there are those whose love becomes real only after long whispers, and frequent dates, and long-term friendship. Ibn Hazm
After true love, you know the value of this word!
It is possible to love beauty shamefully. Fr. Petrarch
Shut up! I want to hear what your heart is saying.
They do not enter into the truth except through love. St. Augustine
Love is like a dream - I woke up and it was no longer there.
A man can adore his beloved and at the same time be afraid that she might say something stupid in public. He understands that he is the only one who understands her. Andre Maurois
Men's shirts only suit happy girls.
Love is important not as one of our feelings, but as a transfer of all our vital interest from ourselves to another, as a rearrangement of the very center of our personal life. Vladimir Soloviev
Tell your mom that you are mine now.
Great people develop love in themselves, and only a small soul cherishes the spirit of hatred. Booker Taliaferro Washington
Learn to appreciate those who suffer for you. But don't chase after someone who is happy without you...
It has always been unclear to me why the worst of men attract the interest of the best of women. Agatha Christie
It’s still a long way from the lips to the heart!
Nothing hinders a romance more than a woman's sense of humor or a man's lack of it. Oscar Wilde
This heart is for those who have at least once said: “I love you”...
Don't be humiliated, true love, without humiliation.
Let's switch to WE...
Perhaps this is a gift of grace from above - the ability of lovers to take themselves seriously, because this would never even occur to anyone else. Richard Aldington
The eyes are smiling. Either simply happy, or madly...
The extreme opposite of love is not separation, not jealousy, not oblivion, not self-interest, but quarrel. Lope de Vega
I wish I knew you better!
Funny quotes about loving a guy
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If someone has their eye on your favorite guy, it means someone has an extra eye...
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If your beloved guy leaves you of his own free will, then by law he must work for another two weeks until you find a new one.
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Cupid... come here, I'll give you an orange... you want two... okay, five, and you shoot that boy over there... okay?
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I wish all the girls that they have a beloved and loving guy! Why? Yes, I hope they stop hanging on to MY boyfriend!!!
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Love is when a girl puts the name of her loved one as all her passwords. Great love is when all the passwords are different...
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Black tears are dripping - it's just mascara. It’s out of joy, dear, that I’m parting with you!
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He's not a guy, he's a treasure! So I would have buried him.
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Darling, for your sake I will learn to cook, I promise.
The greats of this world about love
Truly laughable statuses about love, the authors of which are great people of all times and peoples. Appreciate your loved ones and set funny VK statuses about love.
- After several years of abstinence, I am ready to love my neighbor, my neighbor, and anyone!
- A man realizes that he has truly fallen in love when, instead of football and cars, he increasingly studies catalogs of women's perfumes and underwear.
- Love is all a person needs to be happy. But a little alcohol every now and then won't hurt either.
- The world would be a much better place if there was a little more love and a little less paperwork.
- Being a good husband is like learning nuclear physics from scratch. It must be at least ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.
- No man can call himself truly married until he begins to understand all the words his wife does NOT say.
- The first marriage is a triumph of feelings over intellect. A second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience.
- If your heart was truly broken, you would be dead a long time ago. So shut up.
- A woman worries about the future until she gets married. For men the opposite is true.
- If it weren't for him, we would be a perfect couple.
- I would like to marry a smart, handsome and rich man. I just don’t want to get married three times.
- The only good thing about love is the practical experience. It's a pity that it requires a man.
- The main obstacle in the love of a man and a woman is mutual knowledge of each other's past.
- Loving someone else's woman is like eating an onion. No matter how you cover it, the smell will eventually be discovered.
- For a woman, love is something between conversation and chocolate, and for a man, it is something between sex and beer.
- How many times have I heard about people dying of love, but for some reason I have never seen at least one of them actually die.
Funny quotes about love for a girl, woman
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Love is when he sees her in the morning, sleepy, without makeup, in pajamas, and still thinks that she is the most beautiful...
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Hug me as much as you love me! - Should I strangle you?...
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If a guy takes off both headphones when meeting a girl, then he respects her, and if he also turns off the player at the same time, he loves her!
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It often happens that after a woman has given away the key to her heart, she changes the lock the next day. Ch. Sainte-Beuve
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I don't care who you sleep with or when. You only have to love me.
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Her hair smells like fruit, sweet look, caramel eyes, chocolate smile... she's too sweet - it'll make your butt stick together!
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Love is an eternal deception, in other words, when a man loves, he tries to delude himself that one woman is somehow different from others.
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Love is when you tell a woman “I love you, I want you” even when you really want to eat.
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A woman needs to be loved like a cat: caress, pamper, feed and be glad that she came home...
If you are a person, then love a person, and not some ethereal dream. "Love Formula"
Love and marriage
The hearts of lovers are tested by time. And what could be a better measure of love than marriage? Read the funniest statuses about love. Install our statuses about love on your VK - funny and cool, and simply imbued with feelings.
- When a woman gets married, she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.
- I have had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, but the second one didn’t.
- Women need a reason to have sex. Men only need space.
- My wife is very sentimental. I once gave her a ring for Valentine's Day and she still hasn't forgotten the three little words that were engraved on the inside - Made in China!
- The main rule for all men who want to save their marriage: if you are wrong, admit it, if you are right, just shut up.
- First love is something like a vaccination that protects men from complaints about all subsequent failures.
- The heart of a man in love is like a bad driver: he either constantly speeds or parks in the wrong place.
- At any party there are always two types of people - those who want to get home quickly, and those who want to delay this moment longer. The problem is that they are usually husband and wife.
- Why is it that when a woman leaves a man, she is strong and independent. But when a man leaves a woman, is he a pig and a scumbag?
- Women are like easy money: easy to come, easy to go.
- A successful man is one who earns more money than his wife can spend. In turn, a successful woman is one who has found such a man.
- Many people ask what is the secret of our long marriage. It is that we still visit the restaurant twice a week. Dinner, candles, soothing music and dancing. I do this on Tuesdays and my wife on Fridays.
- According to statistics, eighty percent of married men in Russia cheat on their wives. The remaining twenty percent do it in Turkey or Egypt.
- An archaeologist is the best choice for a husband. The more a woman ages, the more interested he is in her.
- I love and appreciate my wife, so I rarely cheat.
- Be sure to get married. If you get a good wife, you will be happy; if you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher. Socrates (c).
- God gave man both a brain and a penis, but did not give him enough blood to nourish both organs at the same time.
Cool statuses about love
October. A park. Bench. Two men. One is an old man, the other is twenty-three. Perhaps fate had reasons for their paths to meet today.
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“I'm leaving... I'm tired of hysterics! Your love is like a sharp knife to the throat. I'm tired of jealousy and scandals. And you. You’ll easily find a replacement for me!”
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- Beautiful? - the old man asked barely audibly. - Beautiful, but stupid! - he said. - Darling? - the old man squeezed it off his chest. - There’s no such thing as a favorite! - answered.
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He stood up from the bench slowly and walked quietly along the alley. And the guy overtook him in jerks, and as he walked he called her again:
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"I love. Do you hear, you bastard, I love you! I'm used to fighting with you, I'm not lazy! I want to live with you until I’m old! And die. in the same day!"
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True intimacy is not in the heat of passion, But in the support and zeal of your husband, When he gets up at night to rock the cradle, So that your sleep is not disturbed in any way.
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True intimacy is not hundreds of flowers, But a smile and coffee for breakfast, And when you are ready for a lot in life, To build a joint “tomorrow”.
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Let's play a fairy tale, Let's imagine that we've known each other for a long time, And that we're in love with each other
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As if we know each other, Not a day, not a year, but hundreds of years We only change our appearances From time to time being born into the Light!
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And now, having been born in a new body, We begin to search, Dream about how we would like to Find each other and hug
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It happens that on a dark night, looking at the starry sky, Suddenly you understand, very accurately: “You exist!” And I will find you!
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And we are looking for our dear soul In other bodies, in other people's eyes. We snuggle up to them and kiss them. But every time my soul is in tears
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The soul does not want to be with strangers, It yearns for its own. And again, on a dark starry night, She shouts: “Find it QUICKLY!”
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And so, according to incomprehensible threads, According to the intonation in words, According to phrases and quatrains, According to the meaning in the poems sent...
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The soul sang, laughed, the whole world sang! Spring came! The picture of the world has changed, YOUR SOUL FOUND MINE!
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Many men wanted her, They glanced at her and called her at night, She only found a hundred reasons to explain that it was impossible.
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They laid cities under her feet, looked for meetings, wrote messages, She was cold to everyone, and never changed her mind
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A little restrained, always on top, Well-mannered, well-groomed, everything to the point, And femininity was in her hand, Well, in her soul she was always a child
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She knew perfectly well who she should sleep with, There were so few people she let in, She knew how to choose clearly, And she was wrong in what she chose.
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She was executed by women's rumors, Especially all those over thirty, Could give any girl a head start, And a crane could be a tit.
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She didn’t open up completely, Nobody knew anything about her that wasn’t necessary, She lived freely, without a ring And didn’t change the color of her lipstick.
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And few who managed to touch hands, She simply disappeared in the evening. She loved. He was just a friend. And she was always silent about her love
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I came for happiness, here are my palms, God, have mercy, share a little. It is very important for people to wake up with the idea that hope is alive, that one should not give up.
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The line for happiness is crowded, but there are many more of those who are afraid to join this line. Only they, too, will need happiness.
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I will distribute happiness to passers-by in grains, to those close and not so close, to redheads and blondes, to the poor and rich, to mechanics, to poets. There are simply no people unworthy of happiness in the world.
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After all, when you meet kind smiles, You immediately forget about your problems. And when someone warms your soul, This means that happiness still exists.
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You need to look back, you need to take a closer look. Maybe in someone’s heart there is a door fortunately hidden. Just don’t be afraid to knock on that door. It’s better not to resist before love.
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And people crowded, took up space. Someone wants money, someone wants to become a bride. For some, happiness comes from sharing gossip. The line is long. Faces keep flashing by.
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I came for happiness, here are my palms I see, it’s empty The birds are pecking at the crumbs But with a wise smile God answered me, That the smile of loved ones is also happiness
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When you leave for five minutes, do not forget to leave warmth in your palms, in the palms of those who are waiting for you, in the palms of those who remember you.
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Don't forget to look into your eyes, With a smile of timid and submissive hope. Along the way they will replace the images of Saints, even those unknown to you before.
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When you leave for five minutes, do not close the doors behind you - leave it to those who will understand, who will be able to believe in you.
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When you leave for five minutes, Do not be late to return on time, So that the palms of those who are waiting for you do not have time to open during this time.
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There are so many people with whom you can go to bed, How few people you want to wake up with, And in the morning, when parting, turn around, And wave your hand, and smile, And all day, worrying, waiting for news.
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There are so few people with whom you want to dream! Watch the clouds swarm in the sky, Write words of love in the first snow, And think only about this person And neither know nor desire more happiness.
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How few are those with whom you can be silent, Who understand from half a word, from half a glance, Who don’t mind giving year after year, And for whom you can, as a reward, accept any pain, any execution
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This is how this gimmick winds up - They meet easily, they part without pain. All because there are many people with whom you can go to bed. And there are few people with whom you want to wake up.
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There are so many people with whom you can go to bed. How few people you want to wake up with. And life weaves us like a gimp, shifting us, as if in fortune-telling on a saucer.
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We rush about: - work, life, business. Who wants to hear, still must listen. And while running, you will only notice the body. Stop to see the soul.
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We choose with our hearts and with our minds. Sometimes we are afraid to smile, to smile, But we open our souls only to the one with whom we want to wake up.
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Do you know that people may not come back? holding all my will in my fist, let you go? and one morning with thoughts, but not about you, wake up and no longer wait for you and not be sad about you.
