Disappointment in life: reasons, advice from a psychologist. How to change your life

Complete disappointment in life, in the people around... How difficult, however, be disappointed...

You expect one thing, but you get something completely different. Hopes are not met, “pink” castles are collapsing...

Yes, if only there were castles, or even just thatched huts and stone houses.

Why are we disappointed? Have we not calculated all the components of the case? Have other people let you down? An absurd coincidence? With developed paranoia in character, one can safely add - malicious intent, resistance from the environment and people around...

What is disappointment

This term, when applied to human life, is traditionally understood to mean a special emotional state that an individual experiences after a certain situation happens to him. The event that occurred allows you to soberly assess the surrounding reality and leads you into a state of disappointment.

Each person strives with all his might to suppress this feeling, not to recognize true disappointment in life, since worries and sadness about past events, when compared with other probable and more favorable outcomes, can drive one crazy. Psychologists define this state as a configuration of frustration. In this state, a person stops making any effort to achieve what he wants.

5. Thinking that nothing will change for the better

But even a moderate belief that nothing in your life will change for the better can cause significant harm. For example: “my son will never be able to achieve anything significant in life”, “I will never be able to get out of debt”, “the world is a terrible place, and it’s only getting worse.” These beliefs can take over our minds so much that they make us deaf and blind to the signs that indicate otherwise. But life consists of ups and downs. A recession, no matter how catastrophic it may seem, is always replaced by a rise. If we believe that life moves only downward, we deprive ourselves of the joy of life and miss those days when happiness knocks on our door. Imagine how peaceful you will feel if you simply believe that today's difficulties are not forever.

Emotions of disappointment

First of all, in front of a person in this state, a picture of the real world is built up, with which he must come to terms and which he must accept. Many people do not know what to do with disappointment in life and how to live on, and therefore prefer to suppress this feeling and replace it with others. Mostly disappointment is replaced by anger. With this approach, it is permissible to continue to maintain an illusory picture of the world, justifying one’s own unrealizable dreams and completely abstracting oneself from the state of deep sadness and worries.

When you are very disappointed, you have to experience a not-so-pleasant range of emotions, including pain, resentment, anger and sadness. As you know, it is much easier to cope with each of these four emotions separately than with all of them at the same time. Thanks to this fact, a person subconsciously tries, if possible, to avoid the state of disappointment, as one of the most difficult emotionally.

Due to a completely disturbed emotional background, a person realizes the collapse of what was planned as a failure of his whole life: he does not get what he wants and at the same time no longer wants something else.

First, accept how you feel.

Disappointment hurts. And that's okay. Don't try to push him away. And don't try to hide it under a big smile.

I have found that it is better not to give in to such tempting impulses. But instead, accept how I feel. To let it all in and ache a little.

Because if I do, then everything will go faster and it will ultimately be less painful to process what happened.

If I, on the other hand, reject what I honestly feel, then those emotions may surface later and at unexpected times. And make me moody, pessimistic, or passive aggressive.

How disappointment comes

Almost always, the reasons for disappointment must be sought in the inadequate expectations placed on oneself and the desire for unrealistic dreams. Psychologists note that disappointment mainly befalls those people who knew and know exactly what they want to achieve in life. Of course, the constructed image of the expected turns out to be unattainable in the real world. Perhaps the individual wants to achieve something that does not exist in reality. The reason for the resulting disappointment in this case may be an irrational perception of the picture of the world.

People faced with a similar problem most often tend to build situations in advance in their heads, fantasize about upcoming events, and think through the outcome of their own actions. Such people try to imagine what others might feel due to any of their actions and build a whole series of illusory chains of cause and effect. But as soon as everything planned is destroyed by reality, they begin to experience deep disappointment in others and the entire world around them.

3. Think “all or nothing”

It's amazing how many unhealthy psychological conditions come from "make or break" thinking. From panic disorder to low self-esteem, from perfectionism to feelings of hopelessness. Black and white thinking, by definition, makes your view of the world more one-sided. It amplifies negative traits, making them appear more significant than they are. It makes you focus on your mistakes and see only the bad in other people and circumstances. Observe yourself: does this habit manifest itself in your daily life? The ability to clearly separate black from white may be useful when you're selecting clothes to wash, but it's less applicable to life in general.

Are there benefits to being disappointed?

Interestingly, one of the features inherent in the phenomenon of disappointment can be called positive. The effect of “taking off the rose-colored glasses” can show the individual the real world and what it really is like. After people stop living in their own fantasies and learn the bitter truth, in some cases - no matter how strange it may sound - their lives change for the better.

The centuries-old life experience of our ancestors suggests that it is better to live with the knowledge of the bitter truth than to indulge oneself with sweet illusions. It is the awareness of this simple wisdom that leads to an understanding of how to change your life if something has gone wrong in it.

Sometimes people subsequently come to understand that life is indivisible solely into black and white, bad and good. The ability to live in a series of gray shades after deep disappointment, awareness of the relativity of any actions and their perception by others are huge advantages and fundamental steps for a person in building his own bright future.

1. Don't forgive others

Many people equate “forgive” with “forget.” But this is not true. If we try to pretend that nothing happened, we only swallow our experiences, drive them deep into ourselves. To truly forgive means to let go of feelings of resentment. Accept what happened, but allow yourself to move on. Tell yourself: “Yes, I was hurt, but I will not allow the feeling of revenge and the desire to prove something to the offender to control me.” Forgiveness does not change the fact that someone treated you unfairly. It just allows you to no longer suffer because of it.

Why are people disappointed?

This usually happens in relation to the closest people who are, to one degree or another, important to the individual. A person always strives for the ideal in everything, and also has a tendency to idealize those around him. This is the primary mistake, because everyone has their own rather subjective view of disappointment, which means everyone has the right to condemn only themselves.

Disappointment in people occurs when expectations of their behavior or actions are given too high a priority. This mainly applies to the closest people, on whom too many expectations are often placed. Parents, for example, may have inadequate expectations for their own child, which is common in many families in the modern world.

Remind yourself: disappointment will happen if you step outside your comfort zone.

Who is never disappointed? Or never feel depressed about a failure or mistake?

People who never really step outside of their comfort zone.

Everyone who is successful now and you can look up to have their share of disappointments and failures.

Failure and sometimes feeling disappointed are a natural part of living a fulfilling life. This is a sign that you are trying to grow and improve your situation.

I have found that simply keeping this fact in mind helps me stay strong and more easily cope with my own stumbles and failures.

Relationships and disappointment

In a relationship with a loved one, disappointment is one of the main reasons for a breakup. Lovers absolutely always create an idealized image of a partner, endowing him with positive qualities that do not exist or are not so developed in reality. Moreover, loving people determine a person’s behavior and manner of speech, what feelings he should experience in specific situations and how to react to them. Everyone, without exception, builds an abstract ideal model of coexistence with a loved one, without thinking about how to change their life in reality.

However, such behavior, as a rule, is inherent in lovers at the very first stage of a relationship, when everything around seems carefree, painted in bright and rich tones of positive emotions. Loving people themselves in this state try to show only the best sides of their personality and diligently hide all negative and negative character traits. Disappointment in life when a couple lives together begins immediately after this stage, since no person is able to forever keep the mask of an ideal image and hide their own flaws.

Find out from him

Instead of getting lost in the pain and negative emotions that can come from disappointment, choose to see it more as something you can learn valuable things from (and something that will help you grow).

You can do this by asking yourself better questions.

Questions like:

• What is one thing I can learn from this?
• How can I course-correct to avoid this disappointment in the future?
• What can I do differently next time?

You may learn that you can probably communicate better the next time you are in a similar situation or working together with someone else on a task or project.

Or that you need to give yourself a better balance between rest and work to avoid mistakes or think more clearly.

You might even realize that you need to make big changes in your life and start spending less time - or no time at all - with someone who has disappointed you too many times (or always makes you feel disappointed, no matter how hard you try).

Advice from psychologists

The answer to the question of how to survive disappointment in life and become the same will be individual for each person who wants to know it. However, there are several universal recommendations for correcting behavior that psychologists use in everyday practice.

An effective way to influence the situation is to radically change your worldview. At a minimum, you should direct it in a different direction, see the world with all its imperfections, negative phenomena and shortcomings. The tendency to idealize any events that have happened in life or are yet to come should be stopped.

Under no circumstances should you dwell on the negative event that happened. It is unlikely that you will be able to forget it, but it will not be difficult to turn this event into some kind of experience that will be a kind of life lesson. And, of course, every psychologist will advise you to try to be yourself, not to create idealized images and always set yourself achievable goals and tasks.

Get outside your own head

If you know that you have a tendency to get stuck thinking about a negative situation for too long and go into a downward spiral, then get out of your own head and the thoughts bouncing around there.

Two ways to do this and focus your attention outward are:

• Help someone out. Help a friend plan a party or meeting at work. Or help him move boxes and other things into his new home. Or just be completely there and listen to her as she vents about the disappointment in her life.
• Exercise. I find that lifting weights or going for a long walk is a great way for me to re-focus on the outside, renew my energy and sharpen my focus.

Factors causing disappointment

Finding a solution to the problem and understanding how to cope with disappointment in life is possible by understanding the causes and factors that led to the appearance of this condition. Psychologists identify four of them as the most common:

1. Lack of confidence in yourself and your own charm. The individual perceives himself as incapable of attracting the attention of a partner, and also believes that he is not at all worthy of anything in life. All this together leads to dependence on any other person's opinion.
2. Expecting more from people than they can give. Idealizing partners and making them responsible for the relationship.
3. Betrayal. A factor that occurs at all times. Leads to serious changes in the individual’s personality and becomes the cause of endless, protracted depression.
4. Spinelessness or spinelessness. Relevant at a time when there are the most important problems in life. An individual with an underdeveloped will can set himself up in any non-standard situation, because he is not able to cope with his own fears.

All of these factors give rise to a storm of negative emotions, lead to emotional instability and disruption of the usual rhythm of life. As a result, sooner or later a person becomes completely disillusioned with life.

Boost your self-esteem

Improving my self-esteem helped me avoid falling too deeply into self-criticism and negative emotions after disappointment.

It also helped me not to be disappointed in myself as often as before, but to cope with failure with a more balanced mind and more emotional stability.

It also makes it easier to not blame others so you can feel better about yourself and learn more from the situation and get better results next time.

So how do you improve your self-esteem?

Some of the most useful tips and habits I've found:

Write down 3 things in the evening that you value about yourself:

Take a couple of minutes at the end of your day to ask yourself: What are 3 things I can appreciate about myself?

Write down your answers in a notepad, laptop or smartphone. This will help you start focusing on positive things about yourself and stop being so self-critical.

How to deal with disappointment

Not everyone is able to cope with deep-seated experiences, because they often accumulate over a long period of time, and at one moment, under the influence of some negative event, they spill out and begin to interfere with the individual’s usual existence.

During such periods, a person simply does not want to live, disappointment in life turns out to be so critical that without professional help there is no point in hoping for a resolution of the situation.

Another difficulty is this: according to many people with real psychological problems, going to doctors is equated with a sign of weakness. However, it is not difficult to draw a logical chain and conclude that everything is exactly the opposite. A true manifestation of weakness can be called a refusal to accept help, provided that the person himself cannot solve the problems that have arisen, and those around him suffer from this.

Five stages on the path from charm to maturity.

Psychologists say that a person feels disappointed for as long as it takes to reorient the psyche and consciousness. Moreover, such experience is a mandatory step on the path to maturity.

How the completed process of disillusionment occurs:

First stage: charm.

When a person is CHARMED, it is as if he falls under the spell of: an idea, a hobby, another person, a profession, a new place of work. A very pleasant and necessary state, but also very short-lived.

Stage two: disappointment.

This is a process of disenchantment, when illusions collapse. The main symptoms of the second stage: loss of hope, indignation, attempts to drown out the pain with bad habits (alcoholism, drug addiction), denial. At this stage, people either “break down” or analyze the reasons for their condition. Sometimes they go to a psychotherapist for an answer.

Third stage: recovery.

Those who managed to pull themselves together and get out of a dangerous turn reach this stage. Recovery provides inspiration for creativity and frees up strength for new relationships.

Fourth stage: maturity.

During this period, a person is at the peak of his capabilities. He becomes the Master, not the Victim: he builds comfortable relationships with others, stops complaining, and feels gratitude for any opportunities.

Fifth stage: satisfaction.

This is the satisfaction of being able to pull yourself together and enter a new stage of life. This is the pleasure that an old problem has been solved and no longer bothers you. In general, people who reach this stage become kinder. Perhaps it comes from wisdom.

This is such an interesting transformation. But to pass it, you will have to work on yourself.

Take a depression test

Ways to recover on your own

People with a sufficiently developed will are sometimes able to cope with such experiences on their own, restore peace of mind and understand what to do if they are disappointed in life. One or more of the following methods can help them with this:

• Control over your own emotions and feelings. Trusting people and placing only adequate and justified expectations on them. Understanding your own position and the opinions of people on whom expectations are placed.
• Awareness of the fact that you should rely only on yourself. Only its owner can fully influence the events in his own life. Perception of past events as a given and an integral part of the past.
• Competently assessing the personalities of people around you through communication and conversations with them. The ability to speak and listen is the key to understanding the inner world of your interlocutors.
• Accepting your own strengths and weaknesses. Commitment to personal growth and improvement. Lack of desire to be like your idol and equal to those around you.
• Stop projecting the experience of previous relationships with a partner onto new acquaintances and potential relationships. Unlearning the use of templates when assessing personality.

If your expectations are perfect, then adjust them

If you demand or expect perfection from yourself or from other people, you will often be disappointed.

So adjust your expectations a little.

If you are disappointed in something you have done, what someone else has done, or how a situation has turned out in your life, ask yourself:

Will this matter in 5 years? Or even 5 weeks?

This is one thing that has helped me a lot in not making mountains out of wormholes and adjusting my own expectations.

Another helpful thing is to simply remind yourself that if you buy into myths of perfection, you will hurt yourself and the people in your life.

Because such myths, which you may have picked up from movies, songs and simply what the world or Instagram highlight reels tell you, will face reality and will strive:

• Cause a lot of stress and suffering within yourself and those around you.
• You get stuck in procrastination because you are afraid of being disappointed again or disappointing someone else.
• Harm or possibly cause you to end relationships, jobs, projects, etc. because your expectations are out of this world.

Keeping this reminder at the forefront of my mind—and sometimes written down on a piece of paper—definitely helped me adjust my expectations and reduce my own suffering and disappointment.

Requests for help Write your story Hello! I’m writing here out of despair because I don’t know what to do. I’m 25 years old, I recently graduated from college, I’m looking for a job, but the problem is that I’m very disappointed in life - nothing and no one makes me happy :neither friends, nor family. It seems to me as if I did everything in my life in vain. And this is not a momentary mood - this feeling of meaninglessness has not left me since I was 15. Friends and family call me an egoist. Perhaps this is so, I am an egoist . And this depresses me even more. At the age of 16, my parents took me to a psychologist, he, of course, attributed everything to adolescence, said that it would soon pass... But no, every year this dissatisfaction with life intensified, all people began to seem deceitful to me and hypocritical, And this was also because in adolescence I began to develop an inferiority complex, this later resulted in problems with girls (this finished me off). Many times I was disappointed in love, then in people and, finally, in my whole life .The first suicide attempt was at the age of 20. The police broke the doors, and they pumped me out. Since all this happened in a rented apartment, of course, I was immediately evicted. And I lived with friends from the university for a month. This of course affected my studies and I was almost thrown out of there too. Since then I have been thinking more and more often about trying again. I ask for help and support.

Dmitry, age: 25 / 01/27/2011

Responses:

Hello Dmitry. This is what happens when a doctor does not pay attention to the patient in time! But your problem can be fixed. Let's take a look at your complexes together. Let's analyze them. Let's take a look at your childhood. What gave rise to your consciousness of your own inferiority? Why did you, by the age of 16, instead of discovering life with joy and trust, find yourself at a doctor’s appointment, and the people around you. began to seem like monsters. Why, at the age of 20, when you had not yet experienced the joy of your first love, or the satisfaction of your first earned money, or the discovery of new life horizons and prospects, did you decide to deprive yourself of all this by trying suicide? What caused this? Very often, the starting point for the development of complexes is the expectation of an extraordinary fate, Cinderella’s happiness, parental excesses in upbringing, problems between parents in the family. Because those young people who at one time were deprived of maternal affection and who had a difficult childhood have problems with girls. Gender relations are just a projection onto childhood and your sense of self. Who are you? You know? I think I won’t be wrong if I say that you want to kill not yourself, but the stranger inside you. Every person sooner or later faces himself. And this is probably one of the most fateful meetings in life. Learn to discover yourself. Don't be afraid of yourself. Accept and love yourself. And then you will not have problems with communication, problems with girls, problems with studies. You will accept life because it is your life. And everything that surrounds you will be dear to you. But not in the sense of affection, but in the sense of joy, which will be your joy. You write that you have been disappointed in love many times. But what were you looking for in love? To be loved? What did you receive in response? Misunderstanding. Because you don't know who you really are, you are unsure of yourself, you are closed, you are distrustful. You are afraid of your stranger and try not to meet him. In such a state, relationships are impossible. If you have always “chosen the wrong” object of love, analyze and understand why this was due. Perhaps this repeated experience that you do not yet know how to apply in life is useful to you. The world itself is neutral. You see it as dirty gray. but it’s not his fault. And it's not your fault. There is your misunderstanding. It is wrong to see only pink elephants around. But man is called to live in awareness. And in awareness of the world, first of all. You have trust. you just need to open it. You have courage. You have fearlessness. You have confidence only as long as you are convinced otherwise. Don't think about death, think about the fact that you haven't even tried to live yet. Give it a try.

Dusya, age: 29/01/27/2011

Dmitriy! First, thank yourself for the already accomplished feats that you have accomplished - you are 25 years old, you ALREADY HAVE an education. And this is worth a lot. Your second step is to find a job - yes, it’s not easy, but believe me, if you are rejected in one place, then another, and much better one, is definitely waiting for you. You will see it for yourself, exactly what suits you is about to appear. And friends - Dima, there are 7 billion people in this world - Ask yourself what kind of friend your friend should be, what common interests you will have, analyze where your new friends are waiting for you.

Katja, age: 23/01/27/2011

Dear Katya! It’s not about finding a job and not about the fact that I got an education... I don’t see any point in this - yes, I can get a job, but why, to join the orderly ranks of slaves of industrial corporations!? To work for pennies (like Do you understand that yesterday’s students are not given a normal position, not a decent salary) and dream of a normal life? I was already barely making ends meet (I don’t live in my city) while I was studying and paying through the nose for a one-room hole, which is why in Moscow -they call it an apartment. I came here from a provincial town in search of a better life... but I found only disappointment here. Of course, I can be advised to return, but it’s better to go straight into the loop than to live in this dull town!

Dmitry, age: 25 / 01/27/2011

Dima, you write that the feeling of the meaninglessness of life has not left you since you were 15 years old. But tell me, what does a person do if he lacks something in life? He'll be looking for it, won't he? Have you been looking for the meaning of life, thinking about why people live on earth? A person does not live his life for the sake of someone or something, but essentially for the sake of himself. After all, life has been given to you, and you are responsible for it. Well, regarding the fact that all people have begun to seem deceitful to you... - Tell me, should an intelligent person living in reality trust what seems to him? See also materials from the realists website - https://www.realisti.ru/main/you

Alla, age: 41 / 01/27/2011

Dear Dmitriy! Do you think all rich people became rich at once? That from their first job they were showered with money? No, nothing comes so easily in this life. And if you think in advance why go to work for pennies, I will never achieve anything - so it will be. You can’t just scold yourself, taking everything good that you have for granted, and everything that you haven’t achieved yet as unattainable. Patience. You need to have patience. Set a goal and achieve it in small steps. And be sure to thank yourself for what you have ALREADY overcome! I got my first job at the age of 18, I was an intern in a small bank, they paid me 5 (!!!) thousand rubles, and they didn’t even want to give me a “permanent” position. And I worked for six months, getting an education and typing essays for the institute at night. I slept 2 hours a day. The day before yesterday I turned 23, and I have been working in Austria for three months in a large company in a good position. NOTHING is given to a person for free, just like that, believe me! And excuse me if I write harshly, but you treat yourself too carefully, you don’t want to work hard, achieve your goals through failures and falls, you want everything, at once and for free, and otherwise, die. But know, Dmitry, dying is the easiest, and at the same time stupid and stupid way out. Suicide is for weaklings, which I am sure you are NOT.

Katja, age: 23 / 01/28/2011

Dmitry, read this carefully! THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY OUT!!! Today I want to touch on such a sensitive topic, when a person, finding himself in a difficult life situation, commits rash acts, and sometimes resorts to such an extreme measure as suicide. Always remember everything is fixable, except death! It’s not for nothing that I mentioned the last one... Nowadays, the number of suicides is growing exponentially and we need to somehow fight this. Here I want to talk about this harmful phenomenon, as well as prevent these crazy attempts to end life. I know that this is possible, all you need is a great desire to live, yes, yes, live and love. So, you have been visited by this vile thought of leaving this life, it seems to you that everything is so bad, lousy, disgusting that it is impossible to endure any longer and there is no way out! Stop! There is always a way out! But not through a window or from a bridge, and certainly not into a noose. I repeat, there is a way out. You just don’t see it because your consciousness is like muddy water, and, as you know, you can’t see anything in it until all this turbidity settles. What is necessary in order to get out of this painful state. First of all, calm down and remember that the night is darkest before the dawn. Dawn will come and... And everything will be different. Now let's look at ways out of this state. If you have a person whom you completely trust, tell him about your problem. A burden divided between two will be much lighter, and together it will be easier to overcome any obstacles. The clouds will clear and the sun will come out. Even if you think that you are alone and you have no one you can trust. Try to find such a person, each of those living on this earth has a soul mate, your soul mate, who also walks this earth and looks for you, and sooner or later, you will meet. The situation may be exactly the opposite if you lose someone close to you. But this is not a reason to commit suicide. I will help you, write to me. Remember that a shared burden is indeed lighter. Another way to get out of this state is to turn to God. The time to resolve your problem depends on how sincere you are in your approach. Personally, when things were very difficult, this sincere request to God helped me. I literally fell to my knees and asked, “I pray to you, Lord, help me.” Dawn was coming and I thanked the Creator of the universe for the help sent from heaven. After all, my soul became light, and I whispered, “Thank you, Lord.” Remember, no, there are no unsolvable problems, everything is fixable except death. You will meet a person or a book or a phrase that will radically change your situation and you will look at it with completely different eyes. Sincere prayer, even if this prayer is in your own words, in my case this was exactly the case, is capable of miraculous healing from many ailments that occur in the life of every person. I will give here one amazing prayer, it is called the Prayer of Peace, in it wishes for the good of everything in the universe, this prayer amazingly sets up a positive attitude towards life. So here's this prayer. Prayer of Peace (Prayer of Universal Protection) In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit! May there be light and peace to all the Worlds! May there be light and peace to heaven! May there be peace on fire! May there be peace to the water! May there be peace on earth! May there be peace to all beings! May there be happiness for all beings! May there be joy to all beings! May there be benefit to all beings! May God be holy and abid in everything! Let it be so! And I know that it is so! Thank you, Lord, and bless you for the deeds of the coming day! In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit! Amen! Believe that the best is ahead of you, sooner or later all this dregs will settle. And it doesn’t matter whether a person or a book or a phrase helps you - the ways of the Lord are mysterious, but the light at the end of the tunnel will definitely appear. And you are fully aware that everything is truly fixable. And I sincerely wish you to find a way out of even the most difficult life situation. There will come a moment when you say, “I am the happiest person in the universe! Thank you, Lord. note: the text includes special words and phrases that have a beneficial effect on the psyche and normalize the general condition of the body; everyone knows the healing effect of positive attitudes, so it is recommended to re-read it from time to time. Continuing the theme, there is always a way out, there is a way out everywhere, there is a way out of any situation. The main thing is not to sit idly by, but to act. Passion for something or someone is a great way to solve your problems, because it is known that great passion gives rise to great energy. Do any activity that you like and remember that everything will pass - the strong in spirit will remain. Everything is fixable except death and there is a way out! You just believe in it And the night is darkest before the dawn You just remember this Don’t just cut from the shoulder Everything will gradually settle down Don’t cut it short, Life that is given to us from God!

viktor-solnze, age: 39 / 01/29/2011

I want to thank everyone who left a review, I didn’t think that anyone would write at all... Yes, I still have a lot of problems and I have no idea what to do, but I have hope and thank you for that!!!

Dmitry, age: 25 / 02/02/2011

Dmitriy! Every day I feel something similar to what you feel. It started when I was 7 years old, I can say for sure that this thought has followed me since first grade. FROM THE FIRST. For some reason I didn’t tell my parents anything. I constantly woke up and one thought came to my mind: “What good did I do today, yet another day has passed.” I don’t remember what caused such a thought in me, probably it was some kind of trauma. This feeling exists in me to this day, I suppressed it as best I could... In fact, I didn’t suppress it, but rather the circumstances turned out that way. My father had a stack of Modelist Constructor magazines, probably all the issues. I studied them from cover to cover. I collected everything I could gather from this magazine... It was distracting. This was a very good distraction from leftist thoughts. At that time I had a goal in life, it didn’t really exist, but I was interested in doing something. I know one thing: when a person knows how to or wants to learn or is busy with something, this is very good and correct. A person has no time to think about all sorts of nonsense. Just think, even if you have no goal in life, no nothing... Is killing yourself the solution? This is nonsense; on the one hand, it is the simplest thing. You have an education, you already know so much, you are 25, you finally have some life experience! Set yourself a goal! I see the goal of becoming a worker and working at a machine does not suit you. Well me too. That’s why I set myself a super goal; I want to achieve a lot. Set yourself a difficult task and go towards it (the main thing is that it is, although in your fantasies, achievable)). Good luck to you!

Doesn't matter, age: 22/09/13/2013

Hello Dima! People just don’t understand, money isn’t everything, hang in there because your difficulties are not difficulties at all, there are many beautiful things in the world. My name is also Dmitry and life doesn’t make me happy at all for a long time either, I just have to live as it is and try to think about the good. True love exists, this has been absolutely verified. Everything will work out Dimon.

Nekto, age: 32 / 01/20/2014

Have you tried to stop complaining about life and start doing something to make things change? Why do you think that everything in the world is bad? It all depends only on your perception and your reaction to what is happening. Your complexes are just self-hypnosis. If you don’t see meaning in life, then you’re just too lazy to look for it. The problem is not the environment. The problem is in your head. You need to learn to do something you haven't done before. And what exactly - turn on your imagination. Remind yourself often that men don't complain. They use sublimation and express all the stress in the gym.

Rabbit, age: 20 / 02/02/2014

Yes Dim, but I have a similar situation, and I also attempted suicide. My father died when I was still 3 years old, at school, starting from the first grade, they wiped their feet on me, because of this I studied poorly, so at home I constantly listened to abuse and reproaches from my mother. After school I entered the Polytechnic, but the relationship in the group did not work out, and as a result - absences and expulsion. Then the army, where nothing good happened either, and after the army again college and work. In my free time, I either hang around the computer and TV, or go to the dacha with a vegetable garden that I hate. At the moment, there are no friends, no girlfriend (and never was), no money, no apartment, no car, nothing. Instead, there are continuous debts and constant failures everywhere and in everything. And so on from year to year. Even my own mother doesn’t understand me. But do you know what I realized when I tried to commit suicide? That all these failures are not worth my death. The price for not understanding the world around us is too high. Who knows, maybe everything will really work out and everything is still to come...

Alexander, age: 23 / 05/16/2014

You have an education, you have already achieved a lot! Your problems are obvious, but appreciate what you have! And all will be well!

Yana, age: 15 / 01/06/2015

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