Statuses about sweets

Quotes on the topic "Cake"

I ate a piece of cake at night and... fell asleep in a sweet dream.
I baked a cake for him, then spent an hour scrubbing the floors: Either the cumin was no good for him, or the garlic was too much

- Man, buy me a cake... - Girl, I'm married! - Well, ask your wife to bake it.

Let's start the drinking session with cake - I'll at least recognize its taste

Cakes don't have a shred of conscience. Cakes are crap. Cheesecakes are cheaters. Turkish delight is a goat. Even puff pastries cannot be trusted with their figure.

But it is impossible to resist their charms; they beckon like Napoleon cake to poor innocent Josephine. In a word, no better than men. They are just as treacherous and insidious, just waiting for a good opportunity to force a decent girl to get fat. I didn’t know before how much deceit was hidden in cakes, Olya told me how the matter stood.

So, cakes are devilishly insidious. At least you can say “no” to a man. For example, Olya comes home, and there is a man sitting on the sofa and looking at her with greasy eyes, taking off his socks, wiggling his fingers, twitching his eyebrows, twitching! And he says: “Come here, bunny, I miss you so much!”

Yeah, now. Olya works until six, and he has been busy all day throwing socks around the house. I succeeded, by the way. I also ate four times, look how many dirty dishes are in the sink. There was enough food for a small gypsy camp, but he managed to eat it all alone. The man will eat until the house runs out of clean dishes.

Now he sits, well-fed and barefoot, watching Animal Planet; it’s already a holiday in the village of Villariba. And someone in the village of Villabaggio will now spend an hour washing plates of dried mashed potatoes. - Bunny! A man screams from the room. - Drop the dishes, I’ll wash them tomorrow! Pour some tea and come here! Monkeys are shown!

I found something to surprise you with. You undress and stand in front of the mirror, they show everything the same. I could at least give you flowers. Roses, for example. And Olya sees monkeys every evening.

Cake would never do that, Cake behaves like a model gentleman, and at the same time he is merciless. For example, you walk past a candy store, and he is already waiting for you, he has roses and chocolate, he is dressed for the holidays, and he does not scatter his socks all over the refrigerator. And he looks at you.

- Mademoiselle. This bastard whispers. - These roses are for you! You bastard, at least you can say to a man: “No!” And there is nothing to object to this, his manners are impeccable. You take him by the elbow and immediately lead him home. You’re still thinking: “No, you can’t, I can’t have it with an unfamiliar cake!” What will the fitness instructor say? What will your friends say? My husband, after all. »

And you immediately imagine. You’re sitting on the bed, alone with the cake, all your lips are covered in cream, and it’s falling apart, and languidly: “Yes, kiss me on the icing, girl!” More more! And you told him: “Cake, you bastard, what are you doing!” Leave me alone, I can’t, I’m losing weight! And you pinch off another piece.

What does he care, he will disappear, and then you walk around with your belly. They are all like that, they cannot be trusted. And he doesn’t lag behind: “I want to enter you completely.” A scoundrel, in a word, but so sweet. Damn, damn, damn. Yes, no man can compare with cake, and it doesn’t matter whether he’s wearing socks or not. On a man, I mean.

Here Olya is standing, washing the dishes, and she is lusting for the cake. She convinces herself: don’t, he’s not worth it. Well, handsome, well, gentleman, so what? You can't rely on him, he's never there when you need him. Now, for example, Olya desperately needs him, and where is he? She opened the refrigerator just in case and looked inside. There are four eggs and ketchup in a bottle, no cake. That's right, scoundrel.

Or, for example, the same situation, Olya is in bed with a cake, all languid, breathing unevenly because she has eaten too much. And then the key was in the lock, the husband came. And he bursts into the bedroom, his eyes hungry and angry. I returned from a business trip a week early, suddenly. Well, I got hungry, so I came back. And here is Olya with a cake. The cake, of course, goes under the bed as it is, without pants, coward.

- Yeah! Olya’s husband shouts. - What are you doing here? Whose crumbs are these on the blanket, admit it. Who did you have cupcake with while I was away? And Olya said to him: “Oh, you bastard, I was sitting here, waiting for him, and he came and screamed!” I’ll check you yourself to see if you smell of other people’s buns!

It’s okay, Olya will get out of it somehow. But the cake, what a cake! They are all the same and cannot be trusted. And as soon as one disappears, another immediately appears in your life, and also first - flowers, chocolate, and then once, and there is no trace of him either.

Olya takes a long road from work, taking a detour, because on the short road there is a confectionery, a den of culinary specialists. If you walk by, be sure to have at least one cake, it will stick. But Olya can’t, she has a fitness routine and her husband is at home, she needs to lose weight. But you can’t explain anything to the cake, he looks defiantly and says: “You want me, baby.”

Quotes about cake

A wedding is a funeral with a cake.

The most unhealthy cake I have ever eaten was a wedding cake.

Are you crazy? A dear friend flies from afar for a minute - and you don’t have a cake!

A delicate, not far-fetched reason to offer a girl a piece of cake is a birthday.

xxx: My other half baked a “Rotten Stump” cake for my birthday. xxx: As if hinting

- No, I don’t think you’re sick. - Wow, how disgusting you are! - Carlson shouted and stamped his foot. - What, I can’t get sick like other people? - Do you want to get sick?! - The Kid was amazed. - Certainly. All people want this! I want to lie in bed with a high, high fever. You will come to find out how I feel, and I will tell you that I am the most seriously ill patient in the world. And you ask me if I want anything, and I will answer you that I don’t need anything. Nothing but a huge cake, several boxes of cookies, a mountain of chocolate and a big, big bag of sweets!

Homer: Ugh... Erotic cakes!

“Maybe jokes are the only thing I’m good at.” - At least you succeeded in something! And I’m 38 years old, and I’m driving a junk car with a son who doesn’t respect me, and one Snickers cake separates me from diabetes... Mmm... Snickers cake...

In an uncertain world, a slice of good cake is at least an undeniable pleasure.

There are people like a drug - you know you can’t, but you’re drawn to it. And there are people like cake - sweet, tasty, but already sick.

As a kid, you eat cake and immediately turn it into extra miles you can run. When you've lived a little, you eat the cake and immediately turn it into an extra bearer for your coffin.

Have you ever met your perfect match? No? Then let me imagine, the ideal couple is the figures of the newlyweds on the wedding cake. Because they never look at each other.

You're probably very busy right now with some stunning guy, but I think you should know that your friend Miranda Hobbs just took a piece of cake out of the trash and ate it. You may need this information when you register me for a psychiatric hospital.

- I love weddings. Everyone is happy, everything is beautiful, and they even give you a cake. — The bride pretends that she is a virgin, the groom pretends that he has found the one and only one, the parents on both sides pretend that they like each other. A real celebration of liars.

As is typical in England, even drug dealers don't work on weekends.

- You know, I was coming to you, carrying a whole bag of different sweets: candies, cookies, cakes, waffles... But at the entrance they attacked me and took everything away. - Who attacked you? - Hunger.

Happiness is like a cake on a platter; you can’t handle it alone.

Because the process itself without love, tenderness and trust is something like a cake without sugar, cream and decoration - just a bare cake. And it seems satisfying, but neither pleasure nor joy.

- Would you like some cake? — the Hare kindly suggested. Alice looked around the whole table, but there was nothing there except teapots and tea utensils. - What cake? “I don’t see him,” she said. “He’s not here,” confirmed the Hare. - Why offer? This is not very polite! - Alice said offended. - Why sit down at the table without an invitation? This is not very polite! - the Hare responded like an echo.

("Would you like some wine?" the Hare hospitably inquired. Alice glanced at the table, but there was only tea on the table and nothing else. "I don't see any wine," she answered. "There isn't any," said the Hare. "Not very much." then you are polite: you offer something that is not on the table,” Alice got angry. “You are not very polite: you sat down, but no one called you,” answered the Hare.)

About sweet tooths

Statuses about sweet tooths will allow you to show the world your love for delicious desserts!

1. Sweet tooths should rule the world! Then milk rivers and jelly banks await us all.
2. What's better than a bar of chocolate? All those with a sweet tooth know the answer: only two bars can be better!
3. If a sweet tooth shares dessert with you, it means she truly loves you!
4. I love sweets! They can turn any day into a holiday!
5. Those with a sweet tooth drown their sorrows in hot chocolate.
6. They say that people with a sweet tooth eat up the lack of love. But actually it is not. We just produce love and for this we need a lot of energy.
7. I love sweets and I think that you shouldn’t be ashamed of it!
8. The love of sweets is a sweet sin that is inherent in me to a greater extent than others.
9. Favorite cake, book and bitter coffee... An ideal weekend for me.
10. Sweets have only one drawback. There are always too few of them.
11. Someday you will ask me what I love more, you or cakes. And you will leave without waiting for an answer. And I will be silent only because I am chewing my favorite cake!
12. The more ice cream you eat, the sweeter your kisses become!
13. A real woman should love sweets. Otherwise she will have a sour character and a bitter life.
14. Children love sweets. And they know how to get real pleasure from life!
15. Chocolate and I are a perfect couple!
16. They say sweets are evil. And I decided to save humanity and destroy all the sweets in the world! Never before has fighting evil brought such pleasure.
17. Sweets are the pinnacle of culinary evolution, happiness on a plate and consolation from all adversity.

SWEET APHORISMS

The passion for sweets is familiar to each of us, and celebrities are no exception. We bring to your attention statements by famous people about their favorite delicacies, illustrated with photographs by Kyle Dreyer under the general title “Puppets. Out of reach ". (Food photographer Kyle Dreier is known for his art project, a series of creative photographs called “Perfect Couples”).

“Nine out of ten people say they love chocolate. The tenth person always lies . John Tullius, American writer and essayist

“Men do not live up to our expectations, and only desserts bring true immediate pleasure without subsequent disappointment . Bernard Verber, modern French writer, philosopher

“If they don't have bread, let them eat cakes! « The phrase is attributed to the French queen Marie Antoinette (1755 – 1793)

“Winter awakens the appetite. While there is snow on the streets, chocolate cake is the best medicine." Erich Maria Remarque (1898 - 1970), one of the most famous and widely read German writers of the 20th century.

Jokes about cakes

Read the funniest jokes about cakes. We have collected all the jokes about cakes that are available on the Internet. Anekdoty.ru is a good mood site, more than 100 new jokes daily.

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Mother: - Tom, I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, and now there is only one. How so? Son: - Well, mommy, don’t you understand, it was very dark, and I didn’t notice the second piece.

You know you're getting old when you notice that the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.

The most harmful food is tea. There will always be gingerbread cookies, pastries, cakes and cookies for his company.

— My friends gave me a cake girl for my birthday. - True, no cake. True, and not a girl.

From the diary of a woman on a diet: - At night I dreamed of a cake. She chewed the entire pillow.

At a birthday party, something went wrong and after midnight a cake came out of a drunken stripper.

Ate a piece of expired cake. Something didn't feel good to me. “I decided to check if the cake made me sick?” I ate another piece. Yes, definitely from the cake..

- Know that I love you for who you are. “Girl, you’ve been mumbling something in the window for an hour now!” Will you buy the cake or not?

- Darling, eat a piece of cake! - Thank you, hare, I don’t want to. - Well, look how delicious he is! Well, at least eat a piece. - Thank you, I'm not hungry. - Well, just a little bit. - Fuck off! I don't eat after six! - Eat the cake, you fool, there’s a ring there! I want to marry you.

The princess invited the hussars, led by the colonel, to her birthday. He approaches the table on which the cake stands and places candles. There is not enough space and she says: “Where else should I put this candle?” The colonel grabs his saber and yells: “Hussars!” BE SILENT!

Smoking is harmful to health. “But to see how an 80-year-old granny took out a cigarette, lit a cigarette, took a puff, and then blew out the candles on her anniversary cake as she exhaled, caused stormy and prolonged applause.

Quotes

Back to words

- Ideal love? - No, even though I have big appetites, I don’t hope for that. But to do everything absolutely the way I want. For example, if I tell you now that I want strawberry cake, and then you drop everything and run to buy it. Then you come running, out of breath, and say: “Here, Midori, your strawberry cake,” and hand it to me. And I say: “Ha, I don’t want it anymore,” and I throw it out the window. That's what I want. “Love has nothing to do with it,” I said with some disappointment. - What does it have to do with it? You just don’t understand,” Midori said. - for a woman this is sometimes very important.

Haruki Murakami

• important
• absolutely
• throw
• hope
• woman
• window

She didn't have a good cake, but her husband still loves her, she tells herself.
More or less for the same reasons as gifts: because they were given with good intentions, because they already exist and because they are part of that world in which you never demand more than you have. So what does she want? To be mocked at her gifts and cake? Of course no. She needs to be loved. She wants to be a mother quietly reading to her child; she wants to be a wife who knows how to set the table perfectly. She does not have the slightest desire to be an unhappy, eccentric, complex, always offended, lonely and gloomy person who is somehow tolerated, but not loved. Michael Cunningham

• succeed
• cake
• husband
• be in love
• cause
• present

Tibor Fischer

• opinion
• money
• buy
• try
• order
• wedding

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SWEET APHORISMS

The passion for sweets is familiar to each of us, and celebrities are no exception. We bring to your attention statements by famous people about their favorite delicacies, illustrated with photographs by Kyle Dreyer under the general title “Puppets. Out of reach". (Food photographer Kyle Dreier is known for his art project, a series of creative photographs called “Perfect Couples”).

“Nine out of ten people say they love chocolate. The tenth person always lies.” John Tullius, American writer and essayist

“Men do not live up to our expectations, and only desserts bring true immediate pleasure without subsequent disappointment.” Bernard Verber, modern French writer, philosopher

“If they have no bread, let them eat cake!” The phrase is attributed to the French queen Marie Antoinette (1755 – 1793)

“Winter awakens the appetite. While there is snow on the streets, chocolate cake is the best medicine.” Erich Maria Remarque (1898 - 1970), one of the most famous and widely read German writers of the 20th century.

“After twenty years of marriage, I think I have begun to understand what a woman wants. The answer to the question lies somewhere between dialogue and chocolate.” Mel Gibson, American actor, director and producer

“You need to look for the positive in oddities. If you're diabetic, the upside is that you can finish yourself off with sweets: “I'm sick of everything. Pass the sherbet, please." Jimmy Carr, English comedian and humorist, television presenter of Irish origin.

“As worldly wisdom says (people are generally prone to very cruel everyday observations), inside every fat woman lives a skinny girl and many, many chocolates.” Terry Pratchett, English science fiction writer

“The only difference between a good dinner and a long life is that the dessert is served at the end.” Robert Louis Stevenson (1850 – 1894), Scottish writer and poet

Sweet life

Statuses about sweets are a great way to express your love for pastries, cakes and candies!

1. There is no such thing as too much money and no such thing as too much candy!
2. Any grief can be drowned in a cup of hot aromatic chocolate.
3. Don't know how to confess your love to me? Just give a box of chocolates!
4. Chocolate is like a first kiss that is always with you!
5. Why think about extra pounds and deny yourself sweets? After all, we only have one life, and we need to get the most out of it!
6. What's better than chocolate? Just a lot of chocolate!
7. Nothing can comfort you in difficult times like a cake and a cup of coffee!
8. Yes, I have a sweet tooth! And I don't consider it a sin.
9. I feel sorry for those who give up sweets for the sake of their figure. How can you deprive yourself of such pleasure?
10. The more sweets I eat, the sweeter my character becomes!
11. Sad? Sad? Overcome by blues? Just buy a chocolate bar.
12. Candy is the best antidepressant that has no side effects.
13. Loving sweets is not a sign of a weak character, it is a sign of a sweet character!
14. Don't know what to give me for the holiday? A book and chocolate are the best gifts.
15. Glucose is said to be good for the brain. That's why I'm so smart!
16. Nothing can replace my favorite dessert. Perhaps my second favorite dessert.
17. If I were to choose a motto for myself, it would sound like this: “Chocolate will save the world!”

Poems about cake, cake

The cake is not meat or fish, delicious! . Thank you mom! Cake and tea, wow! This is a holiday, gentlemen! ***** A homemade cake is both a holiday and joy! Cake is a delicate, delicious sweetness. The cake will brighten up any evening for us. We have had a love for sweets since childhood. Cake is pleasure, cake is delight, Cake is a treat for dear friends. Made with tenderness, with care and affection. The cake is homemade, beloved and sweet. Stalk Nina*****I invite everyone to the cake And I treat you to this cake. The confectioners smoked over them. So that you eat, you want extras.***** A beautiful cake with burning candles. Your table will decorate on your birthday, And the room with with welcome guests. It will be filled with noise and fun.

Beautiful Cake Quotes

Here you can find and download quotes Beautiful Cake

Beautiful cake quotes, thoughts, aphorisms, sayings

What is the difference between a beautiful cake and an ugly cake? First of all, because when you put such a cake on the table, you don’t feel ashamed in front of your guests. On the contrary, there is a certain feeling of pride that we were able to build something truly amazing. Of course, if you yourself had a hand in preparing a beautiful cake... .

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