Jokes about pigs are very funny
A wolf, a fox and a pig fell into a hole... The fox looks at the pig and thinks: “There’s meat, we’ll hold out for a while, and then you’ll see, we’ll get out.” The wolf looked at the pig: - There is meat... He looked at the fox: - There is a woman... You can live... The pig looked at both of them and said: - Well, I have nothing to do here... Let me at least sing, or something... Everyone agreed... It’s not like a pig sings Neither the fox nor the wolf knew... And how the pig will squeal! The hunters heard and came running, killed the wolf and the fox... The last thought of the fading consciousness of the wolf: - There was meat... There was a heifer... No, I wanted a show!!!
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News: – Scientists were able to crossbreed a pig and a human. The new generation of deputies can be considered almost complete.
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Piglet comes running to Winnie: - Winnie, the Owl gave birth to a bear cub. Vinny, widening his eyes: “Oh, you pig, so you slipped me a holey balloon.”
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Dear Colleagues! In the newsletter you received on behalf of Gen. The director's phrase “Happy New Year, Pigs!” should be read without commas. Best regards, HR department.
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Two men from neighboring villages meet: “How’s life?” - Yes, I bought a breeding boar. - Yes? So let's mate him with my pigs, and divide the piglets equally. - Let's. But how do I know if he wants to mate or not? - And look: if the tail is a ring, it means he wants it. So they decided. The next day a man comes into the barn. Looks: the tail is in a ring. I caught the pig, tied it up, put it in the sidecar of a motorcycle, put a helmet on it and took it to a friend. And so on for 3 days in a row. On the fourth day, the man says to his wife: “Go and look in the barn, like a pig’s tail: is it in a ring or not?” The wife returns and says: “You know Kolya, I don’t know how the tail is, but the boar has already put on a helmet and is waiting in the carriage.”
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- Kitty, when are you coming home? - The cat won't be here today. A drunken pig will come and sit with friends after work.
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At a lecture on political science: – Go to the pigsty. Those pigs that are at the trough are calmly slurping, and those that have been wiped off and are trying to fight their way back are squealing desperately. That, in fact, is all you need to know about the opposition in Russia.
OpenTown Open city
Special Representative of Russian President Vladimir Putin on environmental issues, ecology and transport, permanent member of the Security Council of the Russian Federation Sergei Ivanov at the St. Petersburg International Economic Forum 2021 tactfully noted that: ... our officials at different levels, of course, are not finalizing this. The point was that local officials gave permission to build houses in the sanitary protection zone of the Kuchino landfill, and now they have safely left for Cyprus and are quietly living out their days there. However, a permanent member of the Council strongly suspects that those who left were partly with the garbage dealers who littered the Moscow region with garbage. Further, Sergei Borisovich cast his opinion tactfully, but with obvious love for his compatriots, in bronze, briefly and succinctly, speaking about city dwellers going out into nature. We like to scold officials, this is also our national trait, we must come to terms with it, we must live with it. But millions of ordinary people who go on vacation outside the city set up a barbecue on the shore of a beautiful lake. If you go to this place even once after this, excuse me, you’ll feel sick. Well, not people, but excuse me, some kind of pigs. After this deep philosophical definition, voiced in the context of a journalist’s question about the guilt of officials, there followed the answer of a high-level official that, of course, we are guilty, but actually, who should we blame? Millions of ordinary people are pigs, and that's all! There was still a lot of difference at the forum, from the moderators of the panel sessions, Vladimir Solovyov and Sergei Mikheev, gurus of modern social thought, hardly lagging behind such modern philosophers as Pyotr Chaadaev and Alexey Khomyakov. Especially in terms of exposing environmental activists working for the US State Department. Today we are not particularly strong in ecology, but in terms of revelations, Lavrentiy Beria is resting. And the hour is not far off when we will line up with handwritten confessions of complicity with American imperialism. It’s not for nothing that Sergei Ivanov publicly accused the environmental activist of selling teddy bears, which absolutely does not contradict the law on NGOs. Although the word NGO is not today considered by the establishment to be a dirty synonym for the word US State Department. Apparently, for them, ignorance of the law, ignorance of the fact that NPOs have the right to engage in commercial activities is the norm. I have one single question for Sergei Borisovich regarding the size of the crimes and the size of the criminals, and as a consequence of this, the security of the country, for which he is responsible there in the Council. It turns out that Ivanov sees local officials breaking the law, people littering in nature, too, but he doesn’t notice the governor of the Moscow region, Andrei Vorobyov, who for five years created a man-made environmental disaster in the central region of Russia. Why?
Quotes on the topic "Pigs"
Give thanks like a pig
People underestimate pigs. Piglets with touching little snouts and crocheted tails are as cute as cats. But, unlike cats, these animals have sacrificed themselves more than once, saving humanity from serious diseases.
Valves: from the heart
The future governor of California, permanent terminator and multiple “Mr. Universe” Arnold Schwarzenegger began bodybuilding at the age of 15. He spent many hours every day in the rocking chair. Having left bodybuilding, Schwarzenegger continued active sports, and doctors increasingly warned the actor that his heart could fail at any moment. In 1997, the star had her aortic valves replaced. Schwarzenegger was lucky: a donor with the right blood type was found. Hundreds of heart patients never get it. And they would have no chance to survive if there were no pigs on the land. Their heart valves are the right size for a person and, unlike artificial ones, do not provoke blood clotting at the transplant site. This means that patients after surgery do not need to take anticoagulants for the rest of their lives.
The first operations to replace human valves with pig valves were performed in the 1960s. Before transplanting the valve, it is thoroughly cleaned of animal cells, leaving only the framework of the so-called intercellular matrix. This avoids a rejection reaction. But during processing, the matrix is damaged; in addition, the “naked” frame does not receive nutrition from the body and quickly wears out. Therefore, pig valves, alas, are short-lived: they last on average about 15 years.
But this problem may soon be solved: several hospitals are conducting clinical trials on transplanting tissue from genetically modified pigs to people. The cells from such animals do not carry the molecules that trigger the human body's immune response, so the entire valve can be transplanted. If the technology can be worked out well, it is possible that genetically modified piglets will be raised directly for a person who needs a donor organ.
Genealogy
Close relatives
The active use of pig tissues and organs in medicine has given rise to the myth that the pig is supposedly much closer to humans than primates like chimpanzees. However, the last common ancestor of pigs and modern primates lived on Earth about 50 million years ago, and the common ancestor of humans and chimpanzees was only 5-7 million years old. What makes a pig a successful model animal and a good donor for humans is not kinship, but body size and lifestyle. in particular omnivory.
Insulin: sweet life
Leonard Thompson was born in 1908 in Canada. His childhood was carefree until the day when the boy was given a terrible diagnosis: diabetes. At that time, the only treatment was radical fasting, and after three years of “therapy,” 14-year-old Thompson weighed about 29 kilograms. The boy's condition worsened every day, and doctors expected that he was about to die, like all other patients with insulin-dependent diabetes. Their pancreas stops producing insulin, a hormone that allows cells to absorb glucose, their main “food,” from the bloodstream.
But Thompson was lucky: his parents agreed to an experimental therapy developed by physiologists Frederick Banting and Charles Best. In 1922, the boy received the first ever injection of insulin isolated from the pancreas of animals. Leonard recovered and lived to be 27 years old. The cause of death was pneumonia. Already in 1923, insulin entered the pharmaceutical market, and Banting immediately received the Nobel Prize in Medicine. The discovery cost the lives of thousands of pigs: their protein insulin differs from human protein by only one amino acid - an elementary protein “building block” - and is better suited to humans than others.
Porcine insulin literally gave people with type 1 diabetes a second life: before the drug appeared, the average prognosis was 1.3 years from the onset of symptoms, and after that the norm became 40 years or more. In the 1920s, it took about 2 tons of pig glands to produce 220 grams of insulin. Pigs supplied humans with insulin until 1978, when researchers learned to obtain a hormone identical to human one from genetically modified bacteria.
The whole body: a field for experimentation
In 2013, animal rights group PETA demanded that the Polish, Danish, Norwegian and British militaries be banned from using pigs as training for their doctors. Doctors used pigs as models to practice skills in treating serious injuries. The military did not respond to PETA's claims: if the surgeon does not hone his skills on animals, he risks killing wounded soldiers. Pigs also provide an invaluable service to civilian doctors: young surgeons train on them to perform complex operations. Pigs are especially respected by heart surgeons. The structure of the cardiovascular system of pigs is similar to that of humans, and thanks to these animals, the development of new treatment methods is noticeably accelerated. Minimally invasive methods of heart surgery are being tested on pigs - the same heart valves can be replaced without large incisions, using a probe that is inserted into the body through a large vessel. Such operations are easier for patients to tolerate, and subsequent recovery is much faster. But to prevent sudden complications from occurring in patients, the technology needs to be tested on animals. And no one is better suited for these purposes than pigs.
Hypothalamus: hormonal surge
To win the Nobel Prize in Medicine in 1977, endocrinologists Roger Guillemin and Andrew Schalley spent hours not in the laboratory, but in pig farms and slaughterhouses. The Nobel Prize went to scientists for the discovery of the protein nature of brain hormones, and in particular the hypothalamus, a small brain gland that controls the entire endocrine system. Its hormones affect another gland in the brain, the pituitary gland. It, in turn, sends signals to the glands in the body, regulating all the most important processes: growth, puberty, the sleep-wake cycle, the response to stress, the activity of the reproductive system.
Hormones are superactive substances, so even in the glands there are very few of them, especially in tiny ones like the five-gram hypothalamus. To collect the required number of fresh tissue samples for research, Guillemin and Challey used a total of more than 200 thousand pigs. Thanks to these animals, endocrinologists today are able to treat a variety of diseases: from growth disorders in children to menstrual irregularities.
Misconceptions
Animal cosmetology
In stores you can find a lot of jars with creams and face masks, from which a perky face with a snout looks at customers. The use of pork collagen in skin care products is a trend that came to the West from Korea. But, alas, the pig’s role as a cosmetologist is unimportant. Collagen is truly essential for the skin. It forms its extracellular framework (matrix), and it is its destruction with age that leads to the formation of wrinkles. But this framework is built by special cells - fibroblasts, living in the deep layers of the skin. Medical science has no evidence that collagen applied to the face can somehow affect the functioning of fibroblasts. The only effect of all creams and masks, with or without collagen, is hydration of the upper stratum corneum of the skin.
In cosmetology clinics, collagen is also offered in the form of injections. But even here it serves only as a filler - a filler for wrinkles. The effect of such injections lasts 3−12 months.
Dermis: second skin
Madonna, Snow White, Lenin, butterflies and simply intricate patterns - conceptual Belgian artist Wim Delvoye knows how to make the most complex tattoos. But his models are not people, but pigs. The American began tattooing live pigs in 1997, and in 2004 he opened an art farm populated by “painted” pigs near Beijing. The project was realized thanks to China's lenient legislation regarding the protection of animal rights, as well as the pig skin itself. In structure and elasticity it is very similar to the human one. This similarity is also used for more noble purposes. If a person has a severe burn, the best thing that can be done is to remove the dead tissue and transplant a piece of healthy skin from the victim in its place. For example, from the hip or shoulder. This method, alas, is not suitable when it comes to patients with burns of more than 50% of the body surface. Pigskin helps protect damaged areas and allow a person to recover. It is used to prepare a temporary covering for wounds - xenoskin. To do this, cut off a layer of pork dermis 0.3-0.4 mm thick, disinfect it and dry it. The resulting biomaterial can be stored for a long time and, importantly, is very cheap. Immediately before application, it is soaked in saline solution and applied to the burned areas. Cells die during this treatment, so the coating will not take root. But it protects wounds from water and infections, new vessels and connective tissue are well formed under it. Over time, the xenoskin simply dries out and falls off. And the patient’s skin is restored so much that a transplant can be performed.
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The man was lucky twice. The first time was when pigs, moving along their evolutionary “path,” turned out to be similar to humans in structure and physiology. And the second is when ancient farmers chose this particular animal for breeding. So now we have a domestic pig - unpretentious and prolific. These animals have already saved millions of lives and, it seems, will do so more than once, especially after people further “bring pigs closer to themselves” using genetic engineering.
