The sexual question is blunt. Jokes about sex and love

Laugh about sex together

Funny statuses about sex will help you look at intimate relationships from a different angle. They are suitable for a variety of situations.

1. What words kill the mood during sex? Darling, I'm home!
2. Sex should be hot, so that even the neighbors want to go out and smoke after it.
3. There was no sex in the USSR; during these years he lived in China.
4. After Viagra Lite you will only want to kiss.
5. Well, anything can happen - I didn’t get up, and the fairies laughed.
6. At 16, a girl wants romance, and a guy wants sex. At 18, she wants it harder, but he comes with his bouquets.
7. If sex didn't feel so good, humanity would die out.
8. You shouldn't make love in the garden. Love is blind, but neighbors are not.
9. All planes are submissive to love.
10. It is not sex or thoughts about it that corrupts, but the lack of intimacy in life.
11. You won’t be full of love, but you won’t sleep with a cutlet either.
12. Friendship between a guy and a girl most often begins with sex.
13. The bed has long ceased to be just a noun; from the age of 18 it is a place of estate.
14. In a joke, an unexpected ending is a decoration, but in sex it is a disappointment.

Men about sex

Love and intimacy are integral parts of our lives. Cool statuses about sex will help you treat her with ease. Men often talk about this topic.

1. I came to you with greetings, to tell you that the sun has risen. And the blanket lifted by 20 centimeters.
2. I tried glowing condoms with a friend. Now I am not only a cat, a hare and a masya. I'm a firefly!
3. I choose fragile girls, they don’t break for a long time.
4. I want to invite two girls to my place. If I fall asleep, they will at least chat.
5. I loved you less than you moaned.
6. When I see you, my heart beats against my fly.
7. My trousers often have a hard time hiding my high spirits.
8. When the sex bomb entered the hall, I began to feel my end.
9. I have a question...
10. All women want to be closer, and men want to be deeper.
11. When I see you, I forget all the words, everything except – I WANT.
12. It is important to observe traditions, even if you refuse me. The lady may not give it, but I am obliged to offer it to her.
13. Madam, love me - I am your neighbor.
14. People who are tired don’t go to a nunnery.
15. I wanted sex in the morning, but then it went away.
16. Men are least likely to be interested in the mind of a naked woman.
17. In bed I have met only two types of women: some act as if they will die tomorrow, while others act as if they died yesterday.
18. You faked an orgasm so diligently that you didn’t even notice how I got dressed and left.
19. I found an effective remedy for potency: “Three Heroes.” Three is a verb.
20. My dick is a true gentleman. In the presence of ladies, he stands up respectfully.

Women about sex

Who said that all women are prudes? They also know how to joke and talk about intimate topics. Laughing statuses about sex prove this.

1. A decent girl goes to bed at eight because she needs to be home by 10.
2. What difference does it make whether you are my first or second? There is still no incoming counter.
3. I try to be good, but when I'm bad, I'm better!
4. Sometimes it’s easier to sleep with a bore than to explain to him why you don’t want to do this.
5. Where to go, where to go, who to find, to whom to surrender...
6. My main erogenous zone is the brain. If you excite her, everything else will be infused with sex automatically.
7. The more often I scream at night, the less I grumble during the day.
8. My diet: less flour, more night food.
9. I prefer to shout at the man rather than at the man.
10. If I quarrel with you, I’ll definitely throw Viagra into the borscht. You still run after me to apologize.
11. Yesterday I found a coin in my bed. Does anyone want to come back?))
12. If the wife is undercooked, then the potatoes will turn out undercooked.
13. A woman can only make one mistake in bed - the wrong guy.
14. I found the ideal weight loss system: the more sex, the better the figure. The better the figure, the more sex.
15. The place of sex in a woman’s life is determined by her man.
16. Wise women say nice things in the morning, and experienced women also do them.
17. When I saw a falling star, I didn’t have time to fully formulate my desire, which is probably why I always want.
18. If I don’t agree to dance to your tune, then I have bad news - you’re out of luck with your tune.
19. When the guy suggested we remain friends, I started wearing a miniskirt. Let this friendship stand as a stake for him.
20. Girls also want sex, but they cover it up with the word “romance.”

Hint about sex

If you don't mind continuing the relationship in a new direction, statuses with a hint of sex will help your partner understand this.

1. How many Kama Sutra poses do I know? Sometimes it is better to see once than to hear a hundred times.
2. The figure is not bad... I really wanted it.
3. The best thing in the world is when the bed creaks before dawn.
4. I want my bed to shake 9 on the Richter scale.
5. Unlike smoking, quitting sex is almost impossible - no amount of willpower can cope.
6. When love makes you tense, the best way to relieve tension is through sex.
7. Sex is part of human nature. I will come to you with my nature!
8. The complete absence of sex, according to Freud, is a deviation. I need to fix this urgently.
9. Find yourself a shameless girl, and insomnia will stop tormenting you.
10. I'm not of easy virtue, I'm just afraid to spend the night alone.
11. It's Friday, Friday the debauchery.
12. Saturday – hunting, but with no one...
13. We will find the sweetest place on the body in bed.
14. You're definitely looking for intimacy.
15. Sometimes you just want to rip your clothes off, but alas, modesty wins.
16. An effective way to seduce a guy: throw him a package of condoms and shout: “Sir, defend yourself.”
17. You only need to make scenes for each other from erotic films.
18. First I'll be a good girl and then we'll turn off the lights.