Hopelessness is a feeling that has complex mechanisms of formation, belonging to the negative layer of experiences, the basis of which is the subjective perception of the picture of the world as hopeless, since there is no objective unsolvability. It is born when faced with insurmountable obstacles or the impossibility of correcting what happened, i.e. borders closely on hopelessness, despair, and a feeling of one’s own powerlessness.
A feeling of hopelessness appears when faith and hope for a different outcome of the situation disappear, actions become meaningless and a person realizes the impossibility of changes in the desired direction. The inability to see ways of achieving exactly what you want gives rise to a feeling of hopelessness, since the irreversibility of the desired and pleasant consequences, which will also be impossible to prevent, will cause a feeling of joy and slight euphoria. There is also a version that hopelessness arises with the goal of protecting the nervous system from overload, and a person from wrong actions, being a defense mechanism against the wrong path. Those. It’s easier for the body to cut off the supply of energy to something that the subconscious has already assessed as unpromising than to try to reverse the uselessness.
Bottom line
Do you consider your situation hopeless? In fact, she is not. You don’t like all the decisions that you see in this situation, you don’t accept them, you don’t want to implement them, so it seems to you that the problem is hopeless.
A situation becomes hopeless when a person does not see in any of its solutions a way to get what he wants. There are solutions for any situation. But if a person understands that none of them gives him even a small benefit, then he tries to find something else, believing that the situation is hopeless. There are solution options, but they are not suitable for the person himself, who wants to find a way out of the situation that will give him at least the small benefit that he agrees to accept.
Thus, there are no hopeless situations, there are unpleasant decisions. Therefore, do not be mistaken about what is happening. Perhaps there is a benefit in those decisions that are unpleasant to you, you just don’t see it yet, because first you will have to lose something dear and important. It happens. Sometimes you first need to destroy everything, be left alone, lose something valuable in order to later gain, build something new and better, find a more suitable partner. If all solutions to a problem are unpleasant to you, then you see only losses for yourself. And what will happen next? You don’t know this for sure, that’s why you at least hold on to what you already have today.
But quite often this is a mistake. Yes, at first you will be left alone, without something valuable and important. You will feel bad, painful and bitter. But then you calm down and get down to business. And, as often happens, if you let go of the past and purposefully go towards your desired goals, you end up getting more than you could have. So, for example, some people find a better job than the one they initially had a hard time refusing. Some people meet better-suited, beloved partners than the ones they initially found difficult to leave. There are no hopeless situations, there are unpleasant decisions. But sometimes you need to make an unpleasant decision, go through destruction, loneliness, loss, in order to then calm down, understand what you really want, let go of the past and begin to act in order to get what you want. It is in such situations that people often receive more than they had at the time when the situation seemed hopeless to them.
Why does a person feel hopeless?
The reason for the feeling of hopelessness is the inability to cope with the current situation and the feelings that arise as a result.
At the root of the feeling of hopelessness is the fear of circumstances that a person cannot overcome. A person is afraid that something will happen to him that he cannot survive. This fear weighs on him from within. The situation is perceived by him as so critical that the person is sure that there is no way out.
On the other hand, he is weighed down by the feeling of being unable to do anything. As a result, the person rushes from one negative thought to another. They lead him to a dead end, not allowing him to see a positive way out and solution.
*It is necessary to remember that in any current situation you can find a way out, as a result of which a person will feel relief, calm and safety. Often all you need to do is ask for outside help.
What happens to a person during a state of hopelessness?
During experiences against a background of strong fear, emotions consume the mind and the person becomes unable to soberly assess the situation. He sees her as terrible. A person’s morbid fantasy is capable of inventing something that does not exist in reality. By instilling thoughts about negative events that will never happen, a person puts himself into idle panic.
An emotionally traumatized person cannot look at the situation adequately. The emotion of fear consumes him so much that it leads him into a state of hopelessness. Any person who experiences fear sees reality as distorted. “Everything is lost”, “nothing can be returned”, “this is the end!” - similar thoughts swirl in the head of a person who is in a state of depression.
How to overcome feelings of hopelessness?
The feeling of hopelessness is born inside a person, which means that it can only be overcome through one’s own changes, and not the outside world. So, you can use the following tips:
- Turn off emotions and turn on logic: is the situation so hopeless, is there really no way out at all, or do you simply not want to move on, since none of the options suits you? Realize that you are simply unhappy with the possible outcome of events, so you perceive the situation as a dead end.
- Compare your situation with similar events that have happened to other people. It often turns out that people found themselves in even worse conditions. Sometimes, knowing that similar things have happened to others can be a little reassuring. By comparing your situation to others' similar experiences, you can begin to notice something positive in your case.
- Determine how important the situation is to you? It happens that a person worries about some trifle, there are simply reasons why even this trifle turned out to be very significant. Stop worrying about petty problems and start solving the issues that really concern you.
- Start solving your problems. The feeling of hopelessness will not go away on its own. Until you decide and let the situation go into the past, allow yourself to do nothing but suffer, your feeling remains with you.
Make it your goal to get out of the situation. Let there be losses. May you come to terms with something. However, you must say goodbye to your problems in order to continue to feel calm and not worry.
What is the feeling of hopelessness?
However, modern medicine is inclined to believe that hopelessness is not a separate symptom, but a whole complex of interrelated symptoms that characterize the whole picture of a neurotic disorder.
According to ICD-10, one of the formal signs of depression is a feeling of hopelessness.
Signs of hopelessness
- Depressed mood for a long time, not dependent on any circumstances;
- Loss of interest or pleasure in activities that previously brought pleasure;
- Pessimism;
- Feelings of doom, fear, anxiety;
- Low self-esteem;
- The appearance of suicidal thoughts;
- Lack of concentration, decreased ability and desire to make even the simplest decisions;
- Insomnia, oversleeping and other symptoms.
All these signs surprisingly accurately characterize the state of hopelessness. And if a person experiences at least three of the above symptoms within two to three weeks, then we can conclude that a depressive state is developing.
Feeling of hopelessness in women
Women, by general definition, are more sensual and emotional individuals. These qualities are influenced by both physiological characteristics (for example, changes in hormonal levels) and social factors that shape the character and final image of a person. It cannot be said that women and girls more often experience a feeling of hopelessness - their experiences are more visible and last longer.
The feeling of hopelessness in women can be accurately described in two words: helplessness and depression. A feeling of helplessness can arise against the background of various social stereotypes or stressful situations and conflicts, when a woman involuntarily acts as a victim. Depression is accompanied by a feeling of lack of choice, the conviction that any decision will not affect the course of events. In the future, feelings of abandonment and brokenness are added to this due to the lack of the ability to support and calm oneself on one’s own.
How to cope with the feeling of hopelessness?
Of course, one could give standard advice - “don’t get upset”, “don’t pay attention” and in the same spirit. But such support, as a rule, only aggravates the situation, and the feeling of hopelessness manifests itself more and more acutely. Let's try to figure out how you can get rid of this feeling.
Analysis and introspection
Do not confuse this with self-examination or blaming others for all your problems. Everything has its truth, and even the current situation is due to a cause-and-effect relationship with many factors. Try to look at the situation objectively, but do not look for those who are guilty and who are right - at this stage this is unnecessary. Did the hopelessness arise against the background of a feeling of alienation? Perhaps this happened against the background of low self-esteem. Did hopelessness appear against the backdrop of feelings of helplessness and doom? You should try to take a detached look at the situation and try to find ways out of it. Cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy, gestalt therapy, and body-oriented psychological work are very effective. But only an experienced psychologist or psychotherapist can carry it out correctly.
Medicines and folk remedies
Despite the fact that psychotherapy for feelings of hopelessness gives the best results, sometimes it can be difficult to cope with it without medication. If feelings of melancholy, despair and low mood last for a long time, then it is best to add medications and traditional medicine.
You need to remember one important nuance: the use of any means without the supervision of a doctor, without systematic use taking into account dosages and indications can lead to the most negative consequences. It is possible that just such a desire is present. But it’s worth thinking about - will this change the situation? Only a psychiatrist-psychotherapist can prescribe treatment after a direct examination of the person.
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