13 phrases that scare away money

Why read the contract, they are all standard. I'm signing!

Reading contracts from cover to cover is a habit even more useful than brushing your teeth.
Because if you ignore your toothbrush once, nothing will happen. But one unread contract can leave you without money and housing. The Lifehacker Telegram channel contains only the best texts about technology, relationships, sports, cinema and much more. Subscribe!

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Don't take papers lightly. The arguments “I didn’t know” and “I didn’t read” are not considered convincing even in elementary school.

Signing a contract means that you have read the terms and agree to them, even if you do not.

Therefore, be prepared that one day you will stumble upon unfavorable loan terms, hidden payments, and obligations that you are unable to fulfill. Or forget the phrase about standard contracts.

Phrases from the movie "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"

I want bright colors in gray London. I want more red.

Ahhh? - Don't worry, Greek boy. Your stupidity can save you.

What does it mean: “what difference does it make”!? They have fucking guns, and fucking guns have bullets in them!

Made by the hands of Italian craftsmen. Stolen by the hands of English thieves. Long as my arm, it’s a pity not everything I have is as long. This is for your wife, this is for a stranger, it will be good if you are not caught with the other one.

If you want to learn how to sell drugs, watch Scarface.

Yes, a dozen monkeys would choke on this!

In this world it is survival of the fittest. And I have bigger fangs than both of you.

He has a partner, a scary man: Barry the Baptist. The Baptist received his nickname for his habit of drowning people. Barry makes sure that the administrative side of the business runs smoothly.

For you it’s a fresh product, and for us it’s a solid addition.

A product without flaws, a product without deception, as reliable as a sofa spring.

If you owe Harry "Hatchet", you will pay.

These bastards sell for twenty-five pounds each. For the client, this is bullshit, for such a lot of pleasure. But they send the checks to another company with a decent name, like Bobby's Small Things or something like that. Twenty-five pounds each. And we cash out at the bank and receive money. And here’s the confusion: we send the check back, from, with the words “Sorry, the goods from America did not arrive, they ran out of supplies.” And then look how many people cash such checks - not a single soul who wants their bank manager to know that in their free time from receiving checks they...

When you dance with the devil, dance until the end of the song.

You can't even rob a rickshaw in Hong Kong!

Anyone who doesn’t make it today will regret it tomorrow.

You will know a lot, but you will not sleep well.

We separate the flies from the cutlets, and those who believe me from those who don’t.

Don't stand like a schoolboy outside a brothel.

Don’t think that because the boxes are sealed, they are empty. Only the undertaker will sell you empty boxes.

Bandage the trunks. Count the money. And buckle up!

I was presented with an opportunity, and my experience tells me that if there is an opportunity, it is better to take advantage of it since it is there.

Also, I think knives are a great idea. Huge, shiny knives, the kind that could be used to skin a crocodile. Knives are good because they make no noise, and the less noise they make, the more convenient it will be for us to use them.

Barrels for suckers, knives - the choice of craftsmen.

If you hide anything, I will kill you. If you lie, or it seems to me that you are lying, I will kill you. If you forget to say anything, I will kill you. In other words, Nick, you're going to have to work really hard to stay alive. Did you understand well what I said? Because if I don't understand, I'll kill you.

Those who believe, fly, those who are greedy, run away.

If it turns out that the milk is sour, I’m not the cat who will lap it up.

Those who do not have cash will cry indecently.

Move your left, right foot here, the rest will follow itself, this is called walking.

They have their own arsenal, and they are not shy about using it.

Golf is the best way to ruin a good outing. Winston Churchill said this.

You guessed it right. - Rory replies. And sprays him with alcohol and throws a burning match at him. The fat one burst into flames like a broken gas pipeline. Rory turned without making a sound and watched the rest of the game. By the way, his team won 4-0.

If you wait a long time, I will have time to sell everything.

Edd has been playing cards since he could pick up a deck. He soon discovered that he had a huge advantage. The point is not that he is a good player and not that he counts well when playing, the point is that he perfectly tracks people's reactions, no matter how they hide them, and everyone has reactions, especially when it comes to money .

Don't you think that your thinking is rather bad?

It's not stolen, they just weren't paid for it.

Rory? Yes, I know Rory. It is dangerous to underestimate him. He looks funny, I know. But he's got something underneath his curly hair. What's on top is a distraction. A couple of days ago his TV died and he went to the Battle Cruiser pub to watch the football. No one was looking at the box there, so Rory switched to football. And then some fat idiot opened his mouth. He walked over and changed the channel. And he says: get the fuck out of here and look elsewhere. Rory realized he smelled blood, but he didn't want to miss the game. Calm as a mammoth, he takes a fire extinguisher, walks past the idiots who don’t understand, and places it on the street at the entrance. Then he orders the most thermonuclear drink in this pub, goes back and switches back to football.

Phrases and quotes from the film Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels - feature film, black comedy 1998. Directed by Guy Ritchie. The film received 12 major international awards.

How can you save and manage a budget with a salary of 15 thousand!

Under almost every article about saving, you will find commentators who ask how and why they should save if their income is only enough for the essentials. However, if a person with a high income can still afford indulgences, then a small salary simply obliges him to be smart about spending.

Life under conditions of austerity is hard and boring, but if there is always not enough money, it also cannot be called an eternal holiday. So you will have to work on two fronts: keep track of finances and increase income.

Let's register an apartment in the name of my retired mother, pay less taxes

Your young family has been saving money for a long time, your parents on both sides helped you financially, and you are buying an apartment. And then this fatal phrase sounds, which is seasoned with concern for your money. It sounds logical; after all, this apartment will still be inherited by the spouse.

There are too many pitfalls in this scheme to agree to it.

For example, you will not be able to sell an apartment, because it does not belong to you. The situation with inheritance is also ambiguous: someone else’s mother’s property will be claimed by her husband and other children, but the true owners may only get a piece of housing.

In the event of a divorce, the apartment will not be included in the property that is to be divided: it is someone else’s. History knows cases when one spouse managed to buy an apartment with the premarital savings of the other and register the apartment in his mother’s name. So keep your belongings close to you.

Why a will? Family, let's share everything fairly.

A phrase from the creators of the misconception about the marriage contract. You and your brothers and sisters live in perfect harmony and believe that everything will be as your mother wanted: an apartment for the one who already lives in it, a garage and a dacha for the other, but the third does not pretend to anything, they bought her a separate home.

The bad thing about oral agreements is that they are easy to break.

There is a great chance that the property will have to be divided into equal parts according to the number of heirs, and no one will take into account who and how much money was given in advance and how it was distributed.

It's not just older people who need a will. Let's say you are married and you own a share in your parent's apartment. If you die, your spouse will be able to claim part of your piece of this home. Even if you are surrounded by entirely decent people, your parents will still have to be nervous. It's unlikely that you want this.

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Home → Ilf and Petrov → Golden Calf

Chapter fourteen. First date

When Ostap returned to the Carlsbad Hotel and, having reflected himself countless times in the lobby, staircase and corridor mirrors with which such establishments are so fond of decorating, he entered his room, he was embarrassed by the disorder that prevailed in the room. The red plush chair lay with its stubby legs up, revealing an unattractive jute underside. The velvet tablecloth with braids slid off the table. Even the painting “The Appearance of Christ to the People” was tilted to one side, having lost in this view most of the instructiveness that the artist had put into it. A fresh steamboat wind blew from the balcony, moving the banknotes scattered on the bed. Between them lay an iron box of Caucasus cigarettes. Panikovsky and Balaganov rolled silently on the carpet, clinging and kicking out their legs.

The great strategist stepped over the fighters with disgust and went out onto the balcony. Below, on the boulevard, strollers babbled madly, grinding gravel under their feet, and the united breath of a symphony orchestra fluttered over the black maples. In the dark depths of the port, a refrigerator under construction flaunted its lights and rattled with iron. Behind the breakwater, an invisible steamer roared and demanded something, probably asking to enter the harbor.

Returning to the room, Ostap saw that his foster brothers were already sitting opposite each other on the floor and, tiredly pushing away with their palms, muttering: “Who are you?”

– Didn’t you share? - asked Ostap, pulling the curtain.

Panikovsky and Balaganov quickly jumped to their feet and began to talk. Each of them attributed all the success to himself and to the actions of the other. Without saying a word, they omitted the details that were offensive to themselves, giving in their place a large number of details that portrayed their youth and efficiency in a favorable light.

“Well, that’s enough,” said Ostap, “don’t knock your bald head on the parquet.” The picture of the battle is clear to me. So you're saying there was a girl with him? This is good. So, a little employee can easily carry it in his pocket... you seem to have already done the math? How many are there? Wow! Ten thousand! Mr. Koreiko's salary for twenty years of unblemished service. A spectacle for the gods, as the smartest leaders write. But did I disturb you? Did you do something here on the floor? Did you share the money? Keep going, keep going, I'll take a look.

“I wanted it honestly,” said Balaganov, collecting money from the bed, “fairly.” Everyone gets the same amount, two and a half thousand.

And, having divided the money into four identical piles, he modestly stepped aside, saying:

– To you, me, him and Kozlevich.

“Very good,” Ostap remarked. – Now let Panikovsky share, he, apparently, has a special opinion.

Panikovsky, who was left with a dissenting opinion, set to work with great passion. Leaning over the bed, he moved his thick lips, slobbered on his fingers and endlessly moved pieces of paper from place to place, as if he were playing Great Royal Solitaire. After all the tricks, three piles formed on the blanket: one large, made of clean new pieces of paper, the second - the same, but made of dirtier pieces of paper, and the third - small and completely dirty.

“You and I are four thousand each,” he said to Bender, “and Balaganov is two thousand.” He didn't even earn enough for two.

- And Kozlevich? – Balaganov asked, closing his eyes in anger.

– Why should Kozlevich? - Panikovsky squealed. - This is robbery! Who is Kozlevich to share with him? I don’t know any Kozlevich!

- All? – asked the great schemer.

“That’s it,” Panikovsky answered, without taking his eyes off the stack of blank pieces of paper. – What kind of person could Kozlevich be at this moment?

“And now I’ll share,” Ostap said in a businesslike manner.

He slowly put the piles together, put the money in an iron box, and put the box in the pocket of his white gentleman's trousers.

“All this money,” he concluded, “will be immediately returned to the injured citizen Koreiko.” Do you like this way of sharing?

- No I do not like! - Panikovsky burst out.

- Stop joking, Bender! – Balaganov said dissatisfied. - We must divide it fairly.

“This won’t happen,” Ostap said coldly. - And in general, at this midnight hour I’m not going to joke with you.

Panikovsky clasped his old purple hands. He looked at the great strategist in horror, retreated to a corner and fell silent. Occasionally, only the gold tooth of a convention violator sparkled from there.

Balaganov’s face immediately became wet, as if it had been boiled in the sun.

- Why did we work? - he said, puffing. - You can not do it this way. This... Explain...

“To you,” Ostap said politely, “the lieutenant’s beloved son, I can only repeat what I said in Arbatov.” I respect the Criminal Code. I am not a raider, but an ideological fighter for banknotes. Robbery is not included in my four hundred honest ways of taking money, somehow it doesn’t fit. And then we didn’t come here for ten thousand. I personally need at least five hundred of these thousand.

- Why did you send us? – asked Balaganov, cooling down. - We tried our best…

“In other words, you want to ask whether the honorable commander knows for what purpose he undertook the latest operation?” To this I will answer – yes, it is known. The thing is…

At that moment, a gold tooth went out in the corner. Panikovsky turned around, lowered his head and shouted “Who are you?” Beside himself, he rushed at Ostap. Without changing his position or even turning his head, the great schemer, with a push of his collected rubber fist, returned the enraged violator of the convention to his original place and continued:

– The thing is, Shura, it was a test. An employee with a salary of forty rubles ended up with ten thousand rubles in his pocket, which is somewhat strange and gives us great chances, allowing us, as marathons and running bugs say, to hope for a jackpot. Five hundred thousand is definitely a jackpot. And this is how we will get it. I will return ten thousand to Koreyka, and he will take it. I would like to see a person who would not take his money. And here it will end. Greed will destroy him. And as soon as he confesses his wealth, I will take it with my bare hands. As a smart person, he will understand that the part is less than the whole, and will give me this part for fear of losing everything. And then, Shura, a certain plate with a certain border will appear on the stage...

- Right! - exclaimed Balaganov. - Amazing!

Panikovsky was crying in the corner.

“Give me my money,” he lisped, “I’m completely poor.” I haven't been to a bathhouse for a year. I am old. Girls don't like me.

“Contact the World League for Sexual Reform,” Bender said. - Maybe they will help you there.

“Nobody loves me,” Panikovsky continued, shuddering.

- Why do we love you? Girls don't like people like you. They love young, long-legged, politically literate people. And you will soon die. And no one will write about you in the newspaper: “Another one burned out at work.” And a beautiful widow with Persian eyes will not sit on the grave. And crying children will not ask: “Dad, dad, can you hear us?”

- Don't say that! - shouted the frightened Panikovsky. - I will outlive you all. You don't know Panikovsky. Panikovsky will sell and buy you all. Give me my money!

“Would you rather tell me whether you will serve or not?” This is the last time I ask!

- Will! – answered Panikovsky, wiping away the slow old man’s tears.

* * *

Night, night, night lay over the entire country.

In the Black Sea port, cranes easily turned, lowering steel slings into the deep holds of foreigners, and turned again to carefully, with cat-like love, lower pine boxes with equipment for Tractorstroy onto the pier. Pink cometary fire burst from the tall chimneys of the silicate factories. The star clusters of Dneprostroy, Magnitogorsk and Stalingrad were blazing. The Krasnoputilov star rose in the north, followed by a great many stars of the first magnitude. There were factories, combines, power plants, and new buildings here. The entire five-year period shone, eclipsing the brilliance of the old sky, so familiar to the Egyptians.

And the young man, having spent too much time with his beloved in a workers’ club, hastily lit the electrified Five-Year Plan card and whispered:

- Look, there's a red light. There will be a Sibcombine there. We'll go there. Want?

And the beloved laughed quietly, freeing her hands.

Night, night, night, as has already been said, lay over the entire country.

Khvorobiev moaned monotonously in his sleep, having dreamed of a huge trade union book. On the train, on the top bunk, engineer Talmudovsky was snoring, rolling from Kharkov to Rostov, where the best salary beckoned him. American gentlemen swayed on the broad Atlantic wave, taking home a recipe for excellent wheat moonshine to their “dry” homeland. Vasisualiy Lokhankin tossed and turned on his sofa, rubbing his hand over the affected areas. The old puzzle maker Sinitsky wasted electricity in vain, composing a mysterious picture for the magazine “Water Business”: “Where is the chairman of this general meeting of workers and employees gathered to elect the local committee of the pumping station?” At the same time, he tried not to make any noise so as not to wake Zosya. Polykhaev was lying in bed with Serna Mikhailovna. Other Herculesites slept restlessly in different parts of the city. Alexander Ivanovich Koreiko could not sleep, tormented by the thought of his wealth. If this wealth did not exist at all, he would sleep peacefully. What Bender, Balaganov and Panikovsky did is already known. And only about Kozlevich, the driver and owner of the Wildebeest, nothing will be said now, although a misfortune of an extremely political nature has already befallen him.

* * *

Early in the morning, Bender opened his obstetric bag, took out a police cap with the coat of arms of the city of Kyiv and, putting it in his pocket, went to Alexander Ivanovich Koreiko. On the way, he bullied the milkmaids, for the hour of these resourceful women had already come, while the hour of the servants had not yet begun, and he purred the words of the romance: “And the joy of the first date no longer worries me about blood.” The great strategist was a little disingenuous. His first date with a millionaire office worker excited him. Entering house number 16 on Malaya Tangent Street, he put on his official cap and, knitting his eyebrows, knocked on the door.

Alexander Ivanovich stood in the middle of the room. He was wearing a mesh sleeveless vest and had already put on the widow's trousers of a minor employee. The room was furnished with the exemplary poverty customary in pre-revolutionary times in orphanages and similar organizations that were under the patronage of Empress Maria Feodorovna. There were three objects here: an iron hospital bed, a kitchen table with doors equipped with a wooden latch, which is usually used to lock country toilets, and a shabby Viennese chair. In the corner lay dumbbells and among them two large weights, the joy of a weightlifter.

At the sight of the policeman, Alexander Ivanovich stepped forward heavily.

- Citizen Koreiko? – Ostap asked, smiling radiantly.

“I am,” answered Alexander Ivanovich, also showing joy at the meeting with a representative of the authorities.

- Alexander Ivanovich? – Ostap inquired, smiling even more radiantly.

“Exactly so,” Koreiko confirmed, fueling his joy as much as possible.

After this, the great schemer could only sit on the Viennese chair and put a supernatural smile on his face. Having done all this, he looked at Alexander Ivanovich. But the millionaire clerk tensed up and portrayed God knows what: tenderness, delight, admiration, and silent adoration. And all this about a happy meeting with a representative of the authorities.

The increase in smiles and feelings that occurred was reminiscent of the composer Franz Liszt’s manuscript, where on the first page it says “play quickly,” on the second “very quickly,” on the third “much faster,” on the fourth “as quickly as possible,” and all still on the fifth - “even faster.”

Seeing that Koreiko had reached page five and further competition was impossible, Ostap got down to business:

“But I come to you with an errand,” he said, becoming serious.

“Please, please,” Alexander Ivanovich remarked, also becoming misty.

- We want to make you happy.

- It will be interesting to find out.

And, feeling immensely sad, Bender reached into his pocket. Koreiko watched his actions with a completely funeral face. An iron box of Caucasus cigarettes was born. However, the exclamation of surprise expected by Ostap did not follow. The underground millionaire looked at the box with complete indifference. Ostap took out the money, carefully counted it and, pushing the bundle towards Alexander Ivanovich, said:

- Exactly ten thousand. Take the trouble to write a receipt for receipt.

“You were mistaken, comrade,” Koreiko said very quietly, “what ten thousand?” What kind of receipt?

- Like what! After all, you were robbed yesterday!

- Nobody robbed me.

- How come they didn’t get robbed! – Ostap got excited. - Yesterday by the sea. And they took ten thousand. The robbers have been arrested. Write a receipt.

“Yes, by God, no one robbed me,” said Koreiko, a light bunny flashing across his face. - There is an obvious mistake here.

Not yet comprehending the depth of his defeat, the great schemer committed indecent fussiness, which he always later recalled with shame. He insisted, got angry, shoved money into the hands of Alexander Ivanovich and generally, as the Chinese say, lost face. Koreiko shrugged his shoulders and smiled warningly, but did not take the money.

- So you weren't robbed?

- Nobody robbed me.

- And they didn’t take ten thousand from you?

- Of course they didn’t take it. Well, where do you think I could have so much money?

“That’s right, that’s right,” said Ostap, having cooled down. - Where does a small employee get such a lot of money! So are you okay?

“That’s it,” answered the millionaire with a charming smile.

- And is your stomach okay? – Ostap asked, smiling even more seductively.

- Absolutely. You know, I am a very healthy person.

– And don’t you have bad dreams?

- No, they don’t torture.

Then, in terms of smiles, everything went just like Liszt’s: quickly, very quickly, much faster, as quickly as possible and even faster. New acquaintances said goodbye as if they doted on each other.

“Don’t forget your police cap,” said Alexander Ivanovich, “it was left on the table.”

“Don’t eat raw tomatoes at night,” advised Ostap, “so as not to harm your stomach.”

“All the best,” said Koreiko, happily taking his leave.

“Goodbye, goodbye,” answered Ostap, “you are an interesting person.” Everything is fine with you. With such happiness - and in freedom!

And, still wearing an unnecessary smile on his face, the great schemer ran out into the street. He walked for several blocks at a brisk pace, forgetting that on his head was an official cap with the coat of arms of the city of Kyiv, which was completely out of place in the city of Chernomorsk. And only when he found himself in a crowd of venerable old men, bustling in front of the covered veranda of Narpitovskaya dining room No. 68, he came to his senses and began to calmly weigh the chances.

While he indulged in his thoughts, absentmindedly walking back and forth, the old men continued to go about their daily business.

These were strange and funny people in our time. Almost all of them were wearing white pique vests and straw boater hats. Some even wore hats made of darkened Panama straw. And, of course, everyone was wearing yellowed starched collars from which hairy chicken necks rose. Here, at dining room No. 68, where the famous Florida cafe used to be located, the wreckage of the pre-war commercial Chernomorsk gathered: brokers left without their offices, commission agents who had withered due to the lack of commissions, grain agents, accountants who had lost their minds and other riffraff. Once upon a time they gathered here to make deals. Now they were drawn here, to the sunny corner, by long-term habit and the need to scratch their old tongues. They read the Moscow Pravda every day. They did not respect the local press. And everything that happened in the world was considered by the old people as a prelude to the declaration of Chernomorsk as a free city. Once upon a time, about a hundred years ago, Chernomorsk was truly a free city, and it was so fun and profitable that the legend of “Porto Franco” still cast a golden sparkle on the bright corner of the “Florida” cafe.

– Have you read about the disarmament conference? - one pique vest addressed another pique vest. – Speech by Count Bernstorff?

- Oh, Bernstorff is the head! - the asked vest answered in such a tone as if he was convinced of this on the basis of his long-term acquaintance with the count. -Have you read the speech Snowden made at a meeting of voters in Birmingham, that stronghold of conservatives?

- Well, what to talk about! Snowden is the head. Listen, Valiadis,” he addressed the third old man in Panama. – What can you say about Snowden?

“I’ll tell you frankly,” Panama answered, “Don’t put your finger in Snowden’s mouth.” I personally wouldn't put my finger on it.

And, not at all embarrassed by the fact that Snowden would never have allowed Valiadis to put his finger in his mouth, the old man continued:

- But no matter what you say, I’ll tell you frankly - Chamberlain is still a head too.

Pique vests raised the shoulders. They did not deny that Chamberlain was also a head. But most of all, Briand consoled them.

- Brian! - they said passionately. - This is the head! He and his Pan-Europe project...

“I’ll tell you frankly, Monsieur Pound,” Valiadis whispered, “everything is all right.” Benes has already agreed to Pan-Europe, but do you know under what condition?

The pique vests gathered closer and stretched out their chicken necks.

– Provided that Chernomorsk is declared a free city. Benesh is the head. After all, they need to sell their agricultural implements to someone? So we will buy them.

At this message, the eyes of the old men sparkled. They have wanted to buy and sell for many years.

“Brian is the head,” everyone said, sighing. – And Benes is also a head.

When Ostap woke up from his thoughts, he saw that he was being held tightly by the side of his jacket by an unfamiliar old man in a crushed straw hat with a greasy black ribbon. His tie had slipped to the side, and a copper cufflink was looking straight at Ostap.

“And I’m telling you,” the old man shouted in the ear of the great schemer, “that MacDonald will not take this bait!” He won't take this bait. Do you hear?

Ostap pushed the fuming old man aside with his hand and got out of the crowd.

- Mussolini, although a bully, is a head! - Ostap heard behind him. - Hoover is the head!..

By this time, Ostap had already made a decision. He went through in his head all four hundred honest ways of taking money, and although among them there were such pearls as the organization of a joint-stock company to raise a ship with a cargo of gold that sank in the Crimean War, or a large Maslenitsa celebration in favor of prisoners of capital, or a concession for the removal of store signs, – none of them were suitable for this situation. And Ostap came up with the four hundred and first method.

“It was not possible to take the fortress with an unexpected attack,” he thought, “we will have to start a proper siege. The most important thing has been established. The defendant has money. And judging by the fact that he refused ten thousand without blinking, the money is huge. So, due to lack of agreement between the parties, the meeting continues.”

He returned home, having bought a hard yellow folder with shoe straps on the way.

- Well? - Balaganov and Panikovsky, exhausted by desire, asked in one voice.

Ostap silently walked to the bamboo table, put a folder in front of him and wrote the inscription in large letters:

“The case of Alexander Ivanovich Koreiko. Started June 25, 1930. Finished…………. on the 193th day....”

-What's inside? – asked the curious Panikovsky.

- ABOUT! - said Ostap. “There’s everything inside: palm trees, girls, blue express trains, the blue sea, a white steamer, a little-worn tuxedo, a Japanese footman, a countess wife, your own billiard, platinum teeth, whole socks, dinners made with pure animal oil and, most importantly, mine.” little friends, fame and power that money gives.

And he opened the folder in front of the amazed Antelope residents.

It was empty.

← 13 pp. Golden calf

15 pages → Pages:
14
Total 36 pages

Just think, the loan is for two years, but I’ll get a new iPhone now

Lending is a useful tool if used wisely. For example, your refrigerator is broken. You definitely need it right now, otherwise you’ll have to eat anything. In this case, borrowing is appropriate.

The latest phone model is not one of these necessary expenses, especially if you have the second to last one in your pocket. In addition, it is important to decide: do you need it because of some unusual functionality or because it is new? In general, you should be more careful with status items: they still do not make you one of the privileged group if you buy them on credit.

Cards, money and two guns

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels is a 1998 feature film, black comedy. Guy Ritchie's first feature film. Four young guys saved up £25,000 each so that one of them could play cards with an experienced sharper and seasoned criminal known as Harry the Axe. The guy ended up losing 500 thousand, and was given a week to pay off the debt. Otherwise, both he and his “sponsors” will have a finger chopped off every day, and then... To get out of the situation, the guys decided to rob bandits who decided to rob three “nerds” growing marijuana for a local drug lord. But the adventures of the foursome don't end there... With that in mind, Guy Ritchie made a wonderful directorial debut that sparked the true rise of British gangster films. Critics received the film ambiguously, many declared it secondary, an imitation of Quentin Tarantino’s “Pulp Fiction,” but viewers appreciated the film: the film grossed $25 million at the global box office, which is a serious success for the UK. The film received 12 major international and domestic awards. The original name is a play on words, as it is based on the old English idiom "lock, stock and barrel"

(lock, stock and barrel), corresponding to the Russian
“all and at once”
.
Another idiom reflected in the title of the film is “smoking gun
,” which translated from English means “irrefutable evidence,” “clear evidence.”
The scene in which
Nick "Bubble" breaks the glass on the table was not in the original script.
This incident occurred directly during filming, and Guy Ricci decided to insert it into the final version of the film, subjecting the script to minor changes. Jason Statham
worked as a street vendor before meeting Guy Ricci.
At the very beginning of the film, he had to play himself in his former incarnation. It's not stolen, they just weren't paid for it.
Anyone who doesn’t make it today will regret it tomorrow. Those who do not have cash will cry indecently. The word “fuck” is said 125 times during the film.
Press reviews The film looks easy, despite the violence and blood.
(Ross Anthony)
Fans of Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction will be pleased.
("Courier-Journal")
The best movie since "Pulp Fiction" that doesn't have a single positive character.
(filmcritic.com)
Very funny, very violent - a stunning British crime film that could have been directed by Tarantino's English cousin, if such a thing existed, of course.
(Rochester Democrat and Chronicle)
Edd has been playing cards since he could lift a deck. He soon discovered that he had a huge advantage. The point is not that he is a good player and not that he counts well when playing, the point is that he perfectly tracks people's reactions, no matter how they hide them, and everyone has reactions, especially when it comes to money . - That was the last time I took fruit from you, Tom.
This is what you call fresh goods. There were so many vile hairy insects in your fruit that you couldn’t see the fruit itself. “You should open a butcher shop instead of a grocery store.”
If you order goods from Kathmandu, you shouldn’t be surprised if tourists stop by on the way there. - Where are the invitations?
— Invitations?
- Invitations!
Four white pieces of paper with your names on them. — There are a hundred thousand pieces of paper with a portrait of the queen.
Will it do? - Listen, what kind of pub is this?
— This is a Samoan pub.
- And what's that?
- This is a cocktail.
You ordered a cocktail. - No, I asked for a refreshing drink.
I don't fucking need a jungle in a glass. Am I supposed to stare at orangutans on this palm tree or what?! When you dance with the devil, dance until the end of the song.
You're hanging out on the street with a stoned girl and a bag of fertilizer and, believe it or not, you don't look like a young naturalist at all. “Nobody wants to have neighbors like here,” say extremely antisocial types. - In terms of?
- In the sense that specific thieves live behind the wall, if they don’t knock money from suckers, then they rob the unfortunate kids of the drugs they acquired through back-breaking labor.
- They are armed. - Armed?
What are they armed with? - Bad breath, feather dusters, colorful expressions, what do you think? With guns, fooling around. Barrels for suckers, knives - the choice of craftsmen. What does it mean: “what difference does it make”!? They have fucking guns, and fucking guns have bullets in them! - If you hide anything, I will kill you. If you lie, or it seems to me that you are lying, I will kill you. If you forget to say anything, I will kill you. In other words, Nick, you're going to have to work really hard to stay alive. Did you understand what I said well? Because if you don’t understand, I’ll kill you.

I'm not a scandalous person, let it be on his conscience

You are regularly cheated by cashiers, you have been repeatedly handed faulty goods, you have been deceived when concluding contracts, and you are ready to endure this further. You just don’t like to swear, and it’s useless. And instead of a faulty TV, just buy a new one.

This passive position definitely makes you lose money and faith in justice. People who violate your rights have no conscience, but you should learn to defend your interests. In the end, the TV can be returned under warranty, and the cashier can point out the error.