The main rules for achieving a goal: 10 practical steps

Rules for achieving the goal: engage in self-development

This step involves not only knowing yourself, but also understanding the psychology of other people. As well as the principles of successful negotiations, healthy communication and the basics of properly motivating people to action. You need this knowledge to achieve success.

So what should you definitely learn?

Behave confidently;
Talk to people in a language they understand;
Think before you say something;
Learn to defend your point of view;
Control your emotions;
Treat people with respect;
Try to please, make a good impression;
Develop a sense of humor;
To be honest;
Be grateful. Learn to express gratitude;
Be attentive to others, praise and motivate;
Learn to adequately perceive criticism and admit your mistakes;
Make new friends;
Learn to listen, understand, sympathize with other people;
Be able to present yourself correctly;
Work hard, share responsibilities and be part of a team.

The rules for achieving a goal cannot but include the rules for relationships with other people. After all, the quality of life is determined by the quality of relationships with people. As Adam Railway Jackson said:

“Nobody lives on a desert island. Every person needs others. Close relationships make good times more enjoyable and difficult times easier. The joy that is shared is double joy; the problem shared is half the problem.”

The path to the dream. How not to give up and keep moving forward

I'm watching the turtle. She moves persistently and purposefully, despite obstacles. And the “mountains” are “up to her shoulder” (I block the path with my hand - she doesn’t seem to notice her). And the sea is “knee-deep” to her. It swims across the pond, but invariably climbs in one direction. As if she needed to go there, as if something was waiting for her there. What am I willing to do to achieve my goal? Will I be able to overcome all the obstacles? Since childhood, my mother constantly tells me that I need to be content with what I have and live where I was born. To go with the flow? Accept the circumstances? Do you spend your whole life doing something that brings neither pleasure nor income? Well, no, it's not mine. I never dreamed of untold riches and royal luxury. But is it a very real desire to get rid of the phrase “We can’t afford it”? Doing your favorite job, seeing different cities, communicating with interesting people, making friends, loving and being loved - isn’t this what everyone dreams of? I'm stubborn, like that turtle. And she developed her life credo: “Only that life is interesting and valuable in which a person moves, grows and develops. Life without purpose and development has no meaning.”

Rule one. The path to a dream begins with the desire to act.

To be honest, it was difficult for me to determine my path in life. I am the kind of person that is equally interested in almost everything. I dreamed of becoming a writer, then an investigator or a lawyer. I really wanted to do research work, no matter what field of science. I was strongly attracted by mysterious and inexplicable phenomena, life on other planets, and ufology. When the time came to decide on my future profession, my desires turned towards design. I wanted to become a fashion designer. And then my mother’s “we can’t afford this” became the determining factor, and I studied to be... an economist. I had to choose from what was close to my place of residence. Universities in other cities were not considered. It was interesting to study. It was at the institute, and not at school, that I found friends with whom I still communicate. Student life taught me a lot, my specialty gave me a lot in life. I got a job, but never worked a day in my specialty. But I learned how to draw up business plans, assess risks, calculate product costs and profit levels, analyze competition, and study consumer demand.

Rule two. Any road leads to the goal. An apparent “wrong turn” helps to acquire the necessary knowledge and experience.

I had a very handy grandmother. She did everything she could: altering things, sewing new ones, spinning yarn, knitting things of any complexity, embroidering in different techniques. It was thanks to her that I developed a love for needlework. I began to comprehend all this wisdom at the age of six. I remember how I pestered her with requests to teach her, and she answered: “You’re still young - you won’t understand.” But I’m stubborn - like that turtle! I learned everything quickly. She did not stop handicrafts either at school, or at the institute, or after it. But the huge thirst for knowledge in me became the engine that helped me comprehend more and more new areas of handicraft. So this is it, my true calling! Since childhood I didn’t pay attention to it, I looked at it as an activity for the soul, a hobby.

Rule three. A clear statement of purpose determines the path of life.

Having read smart literature about ten years ago, I apply the knowledge I acquired. Business literature and theoretical foundations are good. But I’m a dreamer with rose-colored glasses! All mysticism, psychology and esotericism are also suitable for me! It’s all about time management and visualization, the power of which I tested on myself. It really works! To test the methodology, on New Year’s Day with the children we write on paper everything that we want to receive in a year and in five years. The mind still limits desires to the level of reality. No alien encounters or big lottery wins. Children, of course, have their own childhood dreams - roller skates, telephones. In addition to “clothes”, I have more life desires: travel, trips, materials and equipment for creativity; generating enough clients so that orders never run out... We write correctly, imagining that the wish has already come true: not “I want a lot of orders...”, but “in five years I will have a lot of customers”; we avoid negative particles “don’t...”: instead of “don’t get sick” - “we have good health.” No thoughts or plans about where to get money for all this - just all desires. We seal our leaves in envelopes, write on each one what year to open them. Almost everything we wanted came true, and the list was long. But “be afraid of your wishes - they tend to come true!”... Well, why do I need so many orders - I can’t cope! I only have two hands and 24 hours in a day. I felt like a squirrel in a wheel that I couldn’t get out of. Lack of time, improper distribution of time between work and rest, doing work around the clock. The most unpleasant thing is that my life and relationship with my husband began to deteriorate. I stopped noticing how my children were growing and my health was seriously damaged. I drove myself to burnout. Stop! I can’t take it anymore, I don’t want to, enough is enough! And fate answers: “Well, enough is enough.” Yeah... I came to the conclusion that you need to be careful with your desires and think them through carefully. You had to count on your strength. It’s good that I stopped in time and was able to improve my family life and everyday life.

Rule four. On the way to the goal, assessing your strengths is very important.

But life does not stand still. I need to move on too. Enough already, rest. I look for inspiration, watch successful masters, study master classes, and learn new things. And suddenly your eyes light up, a wave of inspiration picks you up, new ideas arise!

Rule five. Live on and set new goals.

...And the mountains stand in front of him on the way,

And he begins to crawl through the mountains...

Where without obstacles! Somewhere something doesn’t work out, I make a mistake, I do it again. I can’t find the materials I need - I scour the Internet in search. I receive an order - and suddenly there is such a time constraint that it should have been done “yesterday”... But most of all, the calm that has arisen begins to frighten me. It was as if I had crawled to the desert - and there was no one around. I add a new work - the number of views does not increase. I’m putting together a collection and I barely get a hundred votes. I’m writing a publication, and then there’s silence. Few people read it, and even fewer join the discussion. Aw! Where is everyone?

But I'm stubborn! Like that turtle. I will not retreat, I will not give up. I will continue to work, learn new things, improve old ones, and share my thoughts and best practices.

Rule six. Obstacles are broken by perseverance. Never give up!

Before starting any business, I tell myself that everything will work out. Otherwise, the goal loses its meaning. Every time I set a goal, I strive to achieve it by any means. And I believe that everything will work out for me!

Rule seven. Belief in success helps you accomplish the impossible. The children have already grown up and decided on their path in life. Of course, I passed on my handicraft experience to them, but I would like everyone to find their own path. I really hope that they will pursue their dreams as persistently as I do, setting goals for themselves and certainly achieving them.

Live now! Love your job! Create and dream! Good luck to everyone!

The reason for your "non-achievement"

If you have been wanting to get something for a long time, but just can’t, if you have tried many methods, but none of them have helped you yet. If it’s hard for you to discipline and control yourself, to be aware of your behavior, to keep focus on the goal, then you just need to understand your personal reason that led to this. Until you realize the reason, you will not be able to do anything about it, which means you will fail again and again. The reasons can be very different - your limiting beliefs that contradict your goals, fears, unconscious benefits that you get from not achieving your goals.

In order to determine what reasons for “non-achievement” you have specifically, you can contact a specialist. I am a psychologist and provide individual consultations via Skype. Together with you during a consultation, we can understand what exactly is preventing you from achieving your cherished goal, and after identifying the reason, we will determine how you can work with it and, most likely, you will quickly begin to approach your goal like never before.

In fact, realizing and bringing to the surface the reasons for “non-achievement” is the main point, after completing which you will immediately and inevitably begin to move towards the goal.

For example, one of my clients, who came to me for a consultation with the question “how to achieve her goals,” wanted to start her own family: find a suitable man, build a relationship with him, have a child, live “happily ever after.” Having met and talked in a consultation via Skype, we discovered that at the subconscious level she always thought that she was unworthy of happiness, did not know how to love and generally hated men. We identified her subconscious beliefs: “relationships are painful, they are unfreedom, like shackles in a dungeon, a prison. Relationships are sex-related. Relationships deprive me of development, since all the time is spent on building them, ironing, cleaning, cooking, sex, raising children. And being a housewife is an insult, a position of a dependent woman who is not able to exist on her own.”

Logically, she thought she wanted to have a family. While her subconscious (96% of the brain) did its best to protect her from this. Together, having identified negative beliefs, we worked through them and changed them. Not immediately, but the goal was achieved. If you also want to identify the reasons that slow you down in moving towards your goal, I can help you in a psychological consultation via Skype.

Sign up for a consultation via Skype

You can sign up for a consultation with me through VKontakte, Instagram or the form on the website. You can find out about the cost of services and the scheme of work here. You can read or leave reviews about me and my work using the link.

On one side of the scale lie fear and misunderstanding - on the other there is always freedom!

How to consistently achieve your goals

Effective goal setting requires consideration of the surrounding system. Too often we set the right goals in the wrong system, and if progress requires fighting the existing system every day, achieving consistent results will be difficult. The environment must be aligned with ambitions.

While most of us have the freedom to make many choices, many of the decisions we make in our professional and personal lives are influenced by the options around us:

If your phone is next to your bed, checking social media and email as soon as you wake up will likely be the default solution.
If you keep alcohol in your kitchen, then a glass of wine every night is likely to be the default solution.
If you keep dumbbells next to your desk, doing a little exercise during your break will probably be the default solution.
Finally, if you carry a water bottle with you, then drinking enough water will likely be the default solution.

Scientists call the influence that environmental attitudes and settings can have on decision making as choice architecture. Whether you achieve your long-term goals or not depends largely on what types of influences surround you in the short term. In a negative environment, it is very difficult to stick to positive habits.

To help you design a better choice architecture:

Simplicity. It's hard to focus on the signal when you're constantly surrounded by noise. When your kitchen is filled with junk food, it's harder to eat healthy food. It's harder to concentrate on reading a blog article when you have 10 tabs open in your browser.
Visual cues. In a supermarket, placing products on shelves at eye level makes them more visible and increases the chances of purchase. Outside the supermarket, you can use visual cues such as posting reminders, plans, charts and motivational photos to create an environment that visually nudges your actions in the right direction.

Julia - catching up on current projects

— Based on the results of the week, I am dissatisfied with myself. It all started last weekend, when I really couldn’t rest because I was working. I kept “chasing” to achieve the goal: clients, meetings... and I drove myself like a horse. Fatigue accumulated to the point of tears. But after a good rest, you can work much more productively, and on Monday I would have caught up with the amount of work.

Photo: Alexander Glebov, probusiness.io

A lot of time is spent on achieving goals and homework, but I would like to relax and spend time with my family. But I feel the support of the team. We're all in the same boat.

I signed a contract for a small project and submitted 2 more commercial proposals. If I receive at least one positive answer, I will be close to completing the goal. I have such a specific work that the set amount of 10,000 rubles can be closed with either 1 or 50 clients. But I decided that I would devote more time to current projects. While I’m chasing clients, current projects are idle, and vice versa. You need to think about how to scale your business: if everything is tied only to me, then I will be able to handle a maximum of 2-3 large projects, but I want much more.

In the meantime, we develop positive thinking - we have no right to complain about life, circumstances, or the situation. And I think I can do it. I came out of the metro one day, it was cold outside, and I thought: “Well, how can it be, the guy could pick me up, and I could go by car... And then I remembered my promise to the team and realized: but neither the guy nor the weather which is my own fault for not dressing for the weather. And in general everything is not bad, it’s fresh, it’s the end of the working day, I’m going home.” And the commitment to plan and finish what you start is a super tool. You are like a locomotive moving towards your goal.

Comment by Mikhail Mysnik: In Yulia, dramatic changes are not just felt - they are visible to everyone. She puts in tremendous effort and gets great results.

Determine the vector of development

This is the direction of all spheres of life, which includes your values, needs, desires, tasks, system function, karmic material. When you consciously form it, you do not waste energy on deciding what to do with your life. No longer suffer defeats from unsuccessful attempts to find yourself, and do not master many specialties.

We all have our own system function. This is the activity from which we enjoy.

Aristotle said this more than 2000 years ago: we are what we do all the time. We still implement this function in our lives today, we just don’t realize it. And that means we are not implementing it in the best way. At the moment when clients finally get to the bottom of their function, they sometimes shout “Hurray.” When you go through life unconsciously, you have problems, drain your energy in the wrong places, and waste resources. Then your life is controlled by unconscious processes, such as traumas, internal conflicts, scenarios, dynamics.

Lack of positive reinforcement

Research shows and experience confirms that motivation is high at the start of a new project. But then the work becomes difficult, the novelty wears off, expectations are sometimes not met, and boredom or frustration sets in.

Antidote:

This is natural and predictable. It’s easy to foresee this and think through a system of rewards and incentives in advance. For example, take a delicious breakfast with you and eat after fitness, or invite a friend to go to the gym together and support each other. Or after completing a difficult mission, invite a group of volunteers to have dinner together. And for the dieter, the reward when achieving it is intermediate - and achievable! - the goal may be to buy new clothes.

“If you are used to quitting, you will end up easily playing the role of a lazy person and, in fact, give up trying to achieve something new. Or you will think that you just need to be even more decisive and persistent, and you will continue to put pressure on yourself. Instead, look at your experiences and look for patterns in them to understand where you stumbled and when exactly you went off the rails,” says Robert Taibbi.

Once we understand the problems we face, we can begin to solve them and achieve our goals, while still providing rewards and support.

Help from psychologist Daria Milai

To ensure that your understanding of all of the above in this article is firmly established in your mind, sign up for my consultation. You will learn a lot of interesting things there, including:

about ways to deal with your own insecurities;
about how to overcome the fear of change;
rationally distribute free and working time;
how to quickly and effectively turn dreams into reality;
learn to identify your strengths and weaknesses;
use personal advantages to successfully achieve your goals.

In addition, my tips will help you achieve excellent results in life and at work. This way you will take the first serious step towards your bright future.

Leave time for rest

You simply must have free time; if work is constantly on your mind, it can drive you crazy or simply lead to overwork and stress. No matter how much you want to achieve your goals, work is work and it takes a toll on your health and appearance. Even if you love your job very much, still give yourself the opportunity to take a break from it.

You will appreciate the time you spend working and the time you spend free from work only if you have enough time in your life for both leisure and work. Manage your time wisely and maintain balance.

Who is this technique suitable for?

Like any other author’s technique, this one may not be suitable for everyone. So who exactly is it suitable for?

This goal setting technique will be ideal for those who:

Chooses a conscious life;
Strives to build his own path to personal happiness;
Wants to start acting immediately, without delay;
Wants to challenge and grow every day;
The priority is to enjoy every second you live.

Does it respond? Methodology for setting goals M.O.R.G.A.N. formed the basis of the contract for Strategic Planning of Personal Achievement.

You can sign up for a diagnostic session and learn more about the contract through the 5 spheres website here, or by writing on Instagram.

What can you do right now

Reflect on what goal is most important to you right now.
Formulate a goal based on smart criteria. It must be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.
Choose an algorithm for your actions.
Get everything down on paper.
Start implementing the plan.

Everyone can achieve a goal if they approach the question “how to achieve the goal?” correctly.

Author of the article: Olesya Akimova

Hi all! My name is Olesya and I am the author of the LifeDiary blog. I want to thank you for visiting my site. I put a lot of effort and love into this blog and really hope that the prepared materials are interesting and useful to you. Come back more often, I am glad to see every guest!