Aphorisms, quotes, jokes about bosses and subordinates

If your boss tells the same jokes year after year, it’s more tactful to laugh in different places. V. Brudzinski

Bosses often forget that their subordinates are people too and don’t want to think either. L. Lisovsky

The success of a businessman depends 15% on his professional skills and 85% on his ability to communicate with people. A person should go about his business as if he had nowhere to look for help. D. Halifax

Don't drink at work, you'll become a boss. Leaders are divided not into young and old, but into smart and fools. A person's indispensability is judged by the number of his deputies. Danil Rudy

The secret to successfully choosing employees is simple - you need to find people who themselves want to do what you would like them to do. G. Selye

The master sees more than four servants. Danish proverb

You should refrain from speculating on the stock exchange in two cases: if you do not have funds, and if you do have them. Mark Twain

Subordinates have two vacations, the first is their own, the second is the boss’s vacation. I don't need employees who can only assent. I want everyone to tell me the truth to my face, even if they get fired for it. A smart boss always has a smart deputy. Mikhail Genin

To lead means to be able to change style. A good manager makes people first, and then money. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Tell me what you can't do, and I'll think about who to appoint you to. Mikhail Genin

With the passing of the year of the goat, luck began to turn away from my boss...... For subordinates, both discord between bosses and their unanimity are equally harmful. A person who has not become a boss by the age of 46 will never be useful for anything again. Cyril Parkinson

I consider my most valuable quality to be my ability to arouse enthusiasm in people and develop what is best in a person through recognition of his merits and encouragement. Ch. Schwab

The higher you rise, the harder it is for others to understand whether you are doing your job or not. Allan Cohen

If a director shows initiative, he thinks about the future. If an employee shows initiative, talk about the consequences. Not observing employees means leaving your wallet open to them. B. Franklin

Imagination: a quality of the mind that makes us think that we would be a much better leader than our boss. To lead people, follow them. Lao Tzu, Chinese philosopher

What is the difference between a boss and the sun? The sun has breaks between eclipses. Only those who know how to command can command. Apuleius

On average, a boss is twice as stupid as he thinks he is, and twice as smart as his subordinates think. "Lieberman's 2nd Law"

A person who knows “how” will always find a job, and a person who knows “why” will be his boss. Diana Reivich

It’s easy to bend in front of your boss, but it’s difficult to straighten up. There is no need to look for a path to victory - we need to create such conditions so that all paths lead to it!!! In my opinion, if the authorities do not harm us, then this is already a considerable blessing. Pierre Beaumarchais

Chief, remember! White (not tanned) color indicates employees who still want to go on vacation! A person deprived of the ability to make important decisions begins to consider any decisions that he can make important. S. Parkinson

There are such people that being under their command is the end... It’s difficult with three, and when you learn to organize three, then the number doesn’t matter. Valentin Chernykh, screenwriter of the film “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears”

When I was a switchman, I thought: what a fool the station manager is. Then he became the station chief. If your salary has been reduced, tighten your belt tighter... around your boss’s neck! Aman Tuleyev

There were a lot of opinions, only the boss’s opinion turned out to be indisputable. Don't let those who work for you live too calmly. Don't let them get a firm foothold. Always do the opposite of what they expect from you. Let them worry and look over their shoulders all the time. Henry Ford

While you measure seven times, others will cut! Managing is like holding a dove in your hand. If you squeeze harder, you’ll kill him; if you loosen your grip, he’ll fly away. Tommy Lasorda, American baseball coach

For a born boss, all ailments begin on Friday evening and end on Monday morning. S. Parkinson

There are no unsolvable problems, only unpleasant solutions. E. Born

If today's horoscope promises you new sexual sensations, do not flatter yourself - perhaps your boss will call you to his place... The owner sees more than four servants. Danish proverb

It is not the one who is right who is right, but the one who has more rights. There is nothing more difficult, more dangerous and more uncertain than to lead the introduction of a new order of things, because every innovation has ardent enemies who lived well in the old way, and sluggish supporters who are not sure whether they can live in the new way. Niccolo Machiavelli

A boss's ability is judged by his ability to evaluate the abilities of his subordinates. R. Lembke

The boss has all index fingers on his hands. Leonid Krainov-Rytov

The boss has the most contagious laugh! There are never great things without great difficulties. Voltaire

Do not advise anything to anyone in front of strangers, for it is said: advice in front of strangers is a reproach. Kay-Kavus (Unsur Al-Maali)

Leading means not stopping good people from working. Petr Leonidovich Kapitsa

The biggest bosses are the small ones. B. Samsonov

Never pay for a job before it is finished. Everyone is equal in the bathhouse. The bosses wash themselves in the sauna. If you cannot digest your boss, then you are guaranteed a stomach ulcer. Konstantin Eliseev

The habit of perceiving your boss’s requests as orders saves you from many troubles. Nothing strengthens faith in a person more than an advance payment. The earthly authorities are divided into three types: junior, middle and large - according to the degree of harm they cause. "The Tale of Khoja Nasreddin"

When entering your boss's office, try not to touch his threshold with your nose. Leszek Kumor

Always boldly admit your mistakes, this makes your boss feel smarter. 1. The superior fool is smarter than the inferior one. 2. The higher the fool, the more smart people work for him. 3. You cannot be smarter than your boss, even with his permission. 4. Only fools can contradict their superiors. Davidovich rules

The difference between failure and success is doing something almost right and doing it exactly right. Edward Simmons

When secretaries sit back and chatter, this is a clear sign that the institution is in a state of decay... L. Iacocca

No one will work like a horse until the boss gives him the spur. G. Hitter

One mind is good, but two are not allowed according to the staffing schedule. Anatoly Ras

If you don't like your boss, put yourself in his shoes. It is necessary that conditions, and not managers, force people to work. R. Hashimoto

Blasting is a loud admission of one’s own inability to lead. A person who has both feet on the ground usually takes orders from a person who has both feet on the table. No matter how high your position, you are responsible for what is done at the very bottom. B. James

If you constantly prostrate yourself in front of your superiors, sooner or later they will wipe their feet on you.

The boss is not always right, but he is ALWAYS THE BOSS!!! (English saying)

Leaders are divided not into young and old, but into smart and fools. Our boss is a deceiver. But fair. He deceives everyone without exception. You can only rely on what resists. Blaise Pascal

A weak person doubts before making a decision; strong - after. Karl Kraus

Treat those below you the same way you would want those above you to treat you. Seneca

It is more difficult to control those who crave fame and pleasure than those who want bread. P. Buast

If something doesn’t get to you, then you are either stupid or a big boss. The boss joked exhaustively: others had no time for jokes. Create legends about yourself. The gods started with this. Stanislav Lec

A flock of lions led by a ram can lose to a herd of rams led by a lion. Folk wisdom

Of all abilities, the most difficult and rarest is the ability to manage. Sommeri

If a foolish boss acted smartly, don’t be surprised. Well, a man makes a mistake, no matter who he is... Try to be reasonable, not rich: you can lose wealth, reasonableness is always with you. Aesop

Any instruction that is transmitted by a superior boss through a subordinate will be understood in the exact opposite sense. Ilnitsky

The less democracy there is, the more bosses there are. D. Volkogonov

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About the bossy mind

A subordinate must look dashing and silly in front of his superiors. Whether Tsar Peter actually spoke about this is unknown, but statuses about the boss have been popular since ancient times to this day.

Respect your current boss, even if he is a fool. Because the next one might be worse.
Idiots don't disappear. They are promoted.
I want to work as a boss, so I don’t have to do a damn thing and be constantly busy.
Modern superstition: if the boss has a great idea, it means he has to suffer through bullshit all day...
A leader is a person from whose mouth decisions made by the fifth point fly out.
The director is like a wife. It's better to agree with his nonsense.
Today my boss came at me. In response, I very rudely... kept silent.
For a successful career, your face should not be smarter than your boss...
We all know how to lead correctly. And no one has yet been able to convey this to the boss.
I work so hard to become rich. So far this has only worked for my director.
If a person sits alone in a cafe and drinks on New Year’s Eve, there is no need to suspect him of being an alcoholic. He's an IP guy and he's having a corporate party!
The director is not always right. But he is always the director.
Know that the director thinks better than you! And while you are choosing the right decision, he is already making the wrong one.
It's not good when mediocrity is your immediate supervisor.
Advertising your intelligence to a director is like making eyes at a girl in a dark room. Showing your boss his stupidity is like making eyes at a man in the light.
The boss is the worker's enemy.
The optimal director is the one who, when asked: “What are you doing?” It is acceptable to answer: “I’m playing the fool.”
Everyone in the bathhouse is the same, but the management goes to the sauna.

My work is just awesome

Reading statuses about your boss can cheer you up. Sometimes this is all that remains.

Do the stars promise you a love adventure? It is possible that the director will call you on the carpet...
After paintball, the boss can be identified by the colorful splashes and bruises from the butts.
Every director says that when he was young, he was never late, didn’t drink, didn’t play shooting games, and only dreamed of working overtime!
Every manager loves punctuality in his subordinates in the morning, but hates it at the end of the working day.
We don’t have people who are irreplaceable, but they still don’t give me vacation.
Does your director treat you well? This means he is grossly underpaid.
Every subordinate is talented in brevity.
The boss suddenly found me at work.
Letting a subordinate leave work early ruined his family.
We will be given a bonus in September in vegetables. The boss said: “To hell with you!”
IT people, when they don’t have enough memory, go ask management for money. For others this number does not work.
The boss has the book “It’s Okay to Be a Boss” in his closet. I think this is completely abnormal.
Making a career means you're rushing to work when everyone else is getting ready to drink beer.
The boss scolds me, but the money still drips in.

I lead - I lead with my hand

When talking to management, do not speak too highly of any of your colleagues. Otherwise he will be appointed in your place.
I imagine that the manager looks at me and thinks - this gadget can work more efficiently.
I put the question to my boss bluntly: either he raises my salary, or I leave. We reached a consensus: he doesn’t raise the salary, I don’t leave.
A leader must think, and not just swing a whip.
It's hard to be a middle manager. And above are idiots, and below.....
It's hard to work hard when the director is your friend.
For ten years I kept telling my colleagues that bosses were idiots, and now, finally, I rose to become a manager... Now I can’t stop thinking about how my previous bosses managed these sheep.
I wrote on social networks that I work for “monster corporation.” The boss doesn't greet me anymore.
Don’t feed the boss bread, let him work.
The boss must have enough time for everything. Someone else's.
Sent a message to the girl: “Hello, bunny.” The answer immediately comes: “Hello, cat.” It turns out that he sent it to his boss...
If the problem cannot be solved, we must begin to lead.
The angle of view depends on which chair the person is sitting in.
Today the director kicked the cat out of the office. Shaggy was aiming for his chair...