Politeness. Irresistible Quotes About Politeness

From childhood, a child is taught to be polite, explaining that the whole family is judged by his behavior. If this quality becomes a habit, a cultured and delicate person will grow up who skillfully builds useful communication. Therefore, it is so important to know from childhood what politeness is and what role it plays for each individual.

What is politeness

Let's start with a definition. Politeness is the ability to tactfully and kindly communicate with people, the ability to listen to an opponent and his opposing point of view, the willingness to come to a compromise without conflict situations. This character trait is instilled through hard work on oneself, improves one’s image, and opens up new (rosy) prospects.

A polite person evokes positive emotions in others, respects the boundaries of other people, and always observes etiquette. It is important not only to understand the basic rules of politeness, but also to actively use them in all areas of life, for example, at the table, among friends, at work or in any unfamiliar environment.

Politeness formulas

It is difficult for us to judge how polite the Russian nation is considered in the world, however, no one doubts that we still have many linguistic forms of politeness. So let's look at how we can demonstrate good manners and our politeness towards each other in everyday speech. Stable forms of polite communication relate to speech etiquette. Knowledge of the rules of speech etiquette allows a person to behave correctly in society, to be confident in himself and to feel at ease when communicating, demonstrating his politeness and good manners, which is very important for every person who lives in society. Every people, every nationality has its own historically formed rules of speech etiquette. In Russian society, such qualities as tact, courtesy, correctness and politeness are undoubtedly valued. In order to be known as just such a person, you need to know what politeness formulas can help with this. One of the first politeness formulas that we need to become familiar with are the greeting and farewell formulas. In principle, when studying any foreign language, one starts with this. These are some of the most common politeness formulas in the Russian language. Forms of greeting such as “Good afternoon”, “Good morning”, “Hello”, “My respects”, “Good evening”, “Greetings”, “Let me welcome you”. “Hello” does not express any thoughts, but is an integral part of speech etiquette. Such set expressions, as a rule, do not have separate significant parts. On the contrary, they express a holistic view of a certain situation. If one day someone responds to your “Good morning!” will answer “It’s not that kind,” then this is just a pun, since the greeting “Good morning!” does not at all express that the morning is actually good. This is just a frozen, stable form of speech etiquette. Among the greeting formulas, there are those that are not correct and are difficult to classify as speech etiquette. These are mainly familiar or colloquial expressions such as “Great!”, “ZdorOv!”, “Salute,” “Hello.” Such language should be avoided or used only among very close friends or loved ones. These are youth non-literary greetings that can only be used in a relaxed atmosphere, since they are jargon or slang in nature. The correct forms of farewell in Russian are as follows: “Goodbye!”, “See you soon,” “Have a nice evening!”, “Good night!”, “Farewell,” “Let me take my leave,” “Let me say goodbye,” “See you in the evening.” . They can be used in any situation. Among the farewell formulas, there are also casual slang forms that express a certain familiarity and may not always be used. Among them: “Bye”, “Bay”, “Salute”, “Be there”, “Total!”. When communicating with unfamiliar people, such formulas should never be used. After a greeting, usually any act of communication begins with an acquaintance, so it is worth knowing what possible acquaintance formulas are available in Russian: “Allow me to meet you,” “Allow me to introduce myself,” “Let me introduce my friend,” “Let’s get to know each other,” “Let’s get to know each other.” , "Let me introduce myself. My name is". Formulas for expressing requests include the following: “If it’s not difficult for you, do...”, “Please bring it,” “Do me a favor,” “If it’s not difficult for you...”, “Let me ask you for help,” “Can I ask you?". Gratitude formulas include: “Allow me to thank you,” “I thank you with all my heart,” “I am very grateful to you for..,” “I am very grateful.” An expression such as “Thank you” is very neutral and can be used in both casual and formal speech. The invitation formulas can be as follows: “We will be glad to see you at..”, “Let me invite you”, “You will do us a great honor if you come...”, “We invite you to...”. Invitation formulas: “Allow me to congratulate you,” “Allow me to express my sincere congratulations,” “We sincerely congratulate you,” “We warmly congratulate you.” By confidently mastering speech etiquette, you will always be considered a well-mannered, cultured and polite person. People will be drawn to communicate with you, and your circle of friends and acquaintances will grow quickly.

Why is politeness necessary?

The basis of polite communication is kindness, love, respect for others. A person who cares about the comfort and feelings of friends, family and even neighbors is already good-natured and amiable. Showing politeness is not a formality, but a norm of everyday life. It is important not to talk about such a character trait, but to show it in relation to other people. This is what the ability to speak politely gives:

• helps to respect the boundaries of communication with people, i.e. not to ask unnecessary/inappropriate questions, respect the personal space of others;
• allows you to achieve inner harmony with yourself, not experience internal aggression, anger, envy;
• helps to become an example for others, a role model, that is, to evoke respect from interlocutors, a sense of pride from relatives;
• allows you to preserve humanity even in emergency situations, makes you think not only about yourself, but also take care of others;
• replenishes the supply of positive emotions, which have a beneficial effect on health and appearance (prolongs youth).

Polite speech creates a positive first impression about a person and puts the interlocutor in a favorable mood even in a conflict situation. It is always more difficult to quarrel or sort things out with a kind, tactful interlocutor.

Showing courtesy

A person shows politeness to another if he constantly uses the words “thank you”, “please”, “sorry” and the like in a conversation.

Spouses are tactful towards each other and instill this in their child if they do not use rude and obscene words in conversations between themselves.

In politics, showing respect to your interlocutor during negotiations is called diplomatic politeness.

A person is considered polite if he shows his respect to both elders and juniors.

Rules of politeness

Following the rules of polite behavior means working on yourself and your emotions, which are not always positive. It all starts in childhood, when parents teach “magic words”, instill the habit of helping adults, not talking over each other, not being rude.

Basic rules of politeness:

• say hello when meeting;
• say goodbye when parting;
• be interested in the lives of other people;
• ask forgiveness for an offense;
• do not interrupt your opponent;
• do not resort to shouting in conversation;
• do not jostle in queues or public transport;
• give way to elders;
• do not shout to a friend from a distance;
• do not touch upon topics that are unpleasant to the interlocutor.

A polite person should not show excessive emotions in public, gesticulate, or grimace. Especially if we are talking about a sharply negative reaction to an opponent’s action or a specific event.

Forms of politeness

Polite behavior should manifest itself in all areas of life and become one of the main character traits. Since we are talking about the versatility of nature, the following forms of politeness stand out:

• delicacy;
• gallantry;
• politeness;
• courtesy;
• courtesy.

In order to act within the framework of etiquette in any situation, you must have all the listed qualities. They are highly valued in any society, they allow you to avoid awkward situations, and contribute to the development of sociability and self-sufficiency.

Types of politeness

The manner of communication and the form of politeness are determined depending on the situation and the people with whom you will interact. There are these types of politeness:

• Official. It is characterized by increased tactfulness, and addressing the interlocutor exclusively as “you”.
• Unofficial. It is distinguished by a minimum of strict conventions, addressing the interlocutor on a first-name basis, and communicating in an informal setting.
• Impersonal. This is a transitional form of address from “you” to “you”, where one of the parties is the initiator of communication.

Official

This is the basis of business communication. Communication is “dry”, has no color or emotion, and includes behavioral and speech etiquette, appropriate for official business meetings and important negotiations. The interlocutors communicate clearly and correctly, maintain the correct dialogue, and choose every word. This expression of politeness can create some tension in the conversation.

Ritual-ceremonial

In this case, a polite person observes folk traditions and all necessary rites (rituals), according to a specific event to which he is officially invited. We are talking about weddings, religious holidays, social events, anniversaries, and other special events. To comply with the rules of social etiquette, certain phrases are used, as they say, “on occasion.”

Everyday (everyday) politeness

In this case, we are talking about observing the basic rules of a polite person in an informal setting with family, friends or strangers.

Informal or friendly

In this case, the rules of polite communication apply to family, acquaintances and friends, and are implemented in an informal setting. Main signs: emotionality, humorous notes, gentleness, a certain relaxation in communication. As part of etiquette and politeness, you can switch to “you”.

Impersonal

This form of expression of politeness is characterized by the absence of personal pronouns - “You” or “you”. Communication with strangers often takes place in this manner. The rules of politeness and etiquette indicate that the answer can also be impersonal. Perhaps the conversation with this person will never be repeated again, but he will have a positive impression of the fleeting conversation.

Polite language

Ultimately, it was he who inquired about the state of your affairs. He received an answer that he did not like. You, in turn, can hear the following instructions from such would-be interlocutors:

• how you should feel;
• how to feel correctly in this situation;
• how they really think you feel.

These manipulations are very invisible. It is very easy to regard them as ordinary politeness. They are invisible, however, until you are aware of such things - then they begin to flare up with a bright flame.

So, whenever you communicate something that upsets you or causes your resentment (either a person or an event), the interlocutor may react in the following way:

• he completely shares your emotions;
• can listen calmly, but some things will make him uncomfortable;
• can honestly say that it is unpleasant for him to hear about such things;
• or feel displeasure, but not tell you about it directly.

Speech etiquette and politeness

By definition, politeness is treating other people with tact and kindness. At the same time, it is tact, delicacy, responsiveness, and courtesy towards all opponents without exception.

Speech etiquette and the rules of polite behavior are closely interrelated, since a kind person needs the approval or even help of others. Therefore, speech etiquette is also based on goodwill. Here are good examples:

• thank you - God bless;
• hello - a person sincerely wishes “health” (health);
• thank you - literally stands for “thank you I give.”

It turns out that what manifestations of politeness exist, they are all expressed using speech etiquette. An opponent can judge a person’s goodwill by his actions and conversations.

Basic rules of speech etiquette:

• treat your interlocutor with respect;
• do not give a personal assessment to your opponent, especially a negative one;
• show modesty in communication, do not impose a subjective opinion;
• do not use profanity;
• do not insult or humiliate your interlocutor.

These and many other rules of etiquette and politeness allow us to judge a person as a balanced, tactful, kind, sociable, self-sufficient person.

Kindness and politeness

These two concepts are not synonymous, but complement each other perfectly. A kind person is certainly attractive to communicate with and has pleasant manners.

“Politeness is kindness in small things.” Thomas Macaulay

The basic principle of politeness is to respect the boundaries of each person with whom you meet for work or study, be friends, etc. Only a small percentage of people can be called polite. This is due, first of all, to the conditions of development within the family, the relationship between parents and children. It is in childhood that the rules of effective interaction, which are components of politeness, are born. In adulthood, skills are consolidated and supplemented by literature on etiquette and a certain manner of behavior in public.

Why is it important to be a polite person?

Caring parents from childhood explain to their child why politeness is needed, give eloquent examples, and point out mistakes when communicating with others. It is easier for such people to go through life. Here's why you need to be polite:

• You can deftly avoid conflict situations, which sometimes escalate into loud scandals and fights, even ending in a “stabbing.”
• You can manage the conversation, pause in a timely manner, listen to your interlocutor and use a balanced tone to set him up for a calm conversation.
• By showing only positive emotions and positivity, you can leave only a pleasant impression of yourself, a desire to meet again.
• Being a polite person, you can count on the same attitude of others towards you. If necessary, family and friends will always come to the rescue and support you in a difficult situation in word and deed.
• A polite interlocutor never harbors negative emotions, does not gossip, does not judge others, and thereby does not pollute his karma with negative energy.
• When a kind person refuses a request, there are no hard feelings left. Moreover, there is no doubt that in a particular situation he simply could not help. Good examples of a polite form of refusal: “I’m sorry, but I can’t help,” “I sincerely apologize, but circumstances oblige me to refuse,” etc., depending on the circumstances.

It turns out that a polite person is a person who will never offend in word or deed, and will not put his own interests above the interests of his opponent. He thinks about others, empathizes, and is always interested in their lives and problems.

Politeness: the downside

And now, after you have imagined this little scene, let me ask a question: will such an answer make your soul feel better? Will the weight you carried on your shoulders during a bad day decrease, even if only by an gram? We dare to suggest that it would be much more pleasant to hear something like: “Oh, what a nightmare ...”, “How can I help you?”, or, at worst, “I would like to hope that things will get better for you soon.”

In each of the careless answers, the interlocutor hides the fear of sharing experiences. And sometimes even disdain can be hidden under the guise of politeness. Communications of this kind occur very often. Sometimes you need to listen more closely to read the hidden messages between the lines.

Whenever we talk about our experiences - especially negative ones - people may feel discomfort, a desire to end the conversation as quickly as possible.

They will squirm restlessly, interrupt you, try to redirect the conversation in a different direction, trying to distract you...

Sometimes, of course, a particular conversation is simply inappropriate. Usually in such cases people try to strengthen their personal boundaries. For example, imagine a situation: a husband, returning from work, enthusiastically begins to list the events of the past day. “Listen, honey, you know that I’m picking up my mom from the airport today and I have to leave the house in ten minutes. Could you please tell me about this later?” - the wife answers.

Of course, in this case, her reaction is completely appropriate. However, it also happens differently. Someone asks you how you are doing. You tell him that everything is fine. But then you feel that the person is neglecting what you said. There is no question of setting psychological boundaries here.

Why is politeness important for sustainable relationships?

Every person wants his boundaries not to be violated in communication and his opinion not to be oppressed. To get what you want, you need to start with yourself. Showing tact, subordination and courtesy, the opponent will behave in the same way.

To maintain a stable relationship, being polite is one of the prerequisites. A few more relevant reasons:

• Everyone admires a tactful person and considers him a role model. It’s nice when your environment fully supports your chosen style of communication and behavior.
• Such a person will never leave you in trouble, will always come to the rescue, and provide overwhelming help. So you can count on the feedback from your loved ones, who will also help if necessary.
• Politeness is respect. If you respect your family and friends, they will “repay in the same coin”; many conflict situations in the family can be avoided.

If a small child learns from childhood to understand the role politeness plays in the process of communication and life, he will certainly develop this important quality (with the participation of his parents, of course).

How to become polite

Now it’s clear who such a polite person is. All that remains is to determine how to become the same. For example, stepping on your foot and apologizing is formal politeness. It is important to think about how to avoid causing such unpleasant feelings to others. This thought precisely characterizes politeness as an inherent character trait.

Basic rules on how to be polite:

• Before doing something, you need to think many times whether your action will offend someone else.
• Be guided not by words, but by actions, otherwise such politeness is more feigned, unnatural.
• Make it a habit to say hello first, give up your seat to older people on public transport, thank you for anything you do, and apologize for your misdeeds.
• If a misunderstanding arises, do not hush up the problem, but discuss it, find “common ground,” and reconcile.
• Be courteous and attentive to the speeches of your interlocutor, learn to listen, and not interrupt.
• Give an objective assessment, do not impose your subjective vision of the problem, thereby offending/oppressing the interlocutor.
• Always analyze examples of politeness from others and, if possible, implement them in your life.

Everyone has their own way of becoming polite. Since parents provide education in childhood, they are entrusted with a serious mission to become a self-sufficient person. Also, the elementary rules of a polite person are taught in kindergarten and school, and life experience is also a worthy teacher. If everything works out, favorable changes in life will come immediately.