Truth requires a period, falsehood requires a comma. Don Aminado
Truth and lie
Whatever one may say, there are two clear concepts - truth and lies. The truth is good, the lie is bad . But the whole problem is that we often confuse different concepts, such as fantasy, secret, mystery and perceive them as lies...
Is it bad if a person comes up with something fantastic, tells people about it, and they, in turn, enjoy it?
It’s another matter when a person deliberately distorts events that have already happened, this is a lie and this is bad. And in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with talking about events that have not happened and cannot happen (i.e., fantasizing), if, of course, they do not desecrate anyone in real life.
Interesting questions “True or false”
1. A goldfish has a memory of only 3 seconds.
2. Lightning never strikes in the same place twice.
3. If you cry in space, the tears will freeze on your face.
4. If you cut an earthworm in half, both halves will grow back.
5. Humans are able to distinguish more than a trillion different smells.
6. Adults have fewer bones than babies.
7. Napoleon Bonaparte was very short.
8. There are more bacterial cells in our body than human cells.
9. Your nails and hair continue to grow after death.
10. Birds are dinosaurs.
11. People cannot breathe and swallow at the same time.
12. The top of the Eiffel Tower leans away from the Sun.
13. Alcohol kills brain cells.
14. Chameleons change color to camouflage themselves with their surroundings.
15. Ostriches hide their heads in the sand.
Why do we tell lies?
There are times in life when it seems to us that we are simply forced to tell a lie.
For example, someone close to us is seriously ill and we cannot tell them the terrible truth. Who said THIS is true? Doctor. Can a doctor be one hundred percent sure that this disease will end in death? No. Nobody knows about this. This means that we tell the patient that he is terminally ill, because lying is bad, and suddenly he gets better. It turns out, without even knowing it, we suddenly become liars.
In my opinion, this is a matter of faith and hope. If we say that everything will be fine and the patient will definitely get better, we are not lying, we sincerely believe in it and hope for it. Well, how it all ends is the will of fate and it’s not up to us to decide anything. But how to treat this is our choice. In any case, this is not a lie, but our faith.
LIES AND TRUTH: TWO FACES OF TRUTH?
The truth is: everyone lies. Even those who claim to never lie are actually telling lies. According to the results of a survey conducted in the past year in 19 countries by the international company GfK Custom Research, “people began to deceive each other much more often than ten years ago, and in all spheres of life,” notes the RBC daily newspaper. According to respondents, in Russia, in the years since the default, fraud has become more common in commercial transactions (44 percent of respondents agreed with this) and when paying taxes (39 percent), in schools and universities (37 percent) and sports competitions (32 percent). percent). Among those deceived are increasingly loved ones (25 percent) and colleagues (24 percent). “What you lie is what you will live”, “Untruth began with light, will end with light”, “A smart lie is better than a stupid truth”, “If you don’t lie, you won’t tell the truth”, “People who live in lies will not boast”, “What a word , then it’s a lie.”
And next to it are other common truths: after all, age-old wisdom is also born in disputes. “No matter how fast a lie may be, it will not escape the truth”, “The untruth will come out”, “Once you lie, but never have faith”, “No matter how cunning you are, you cannot outwit the truth”, “The truth is, so the truth will be” ", "Everything will pass, only the truth will remain."
But the two scales do not remain in balance for long. Biblical commandments and maxims of philosophers, calls of preachers and reasoning of moralists - everything falls on the second scale, everything appeals to the truth and brands the false evidence of unkind hearts as a grave sin.
However, psychologists, sociologists and biologists, who study human nature using all the latest methods, unanimously rehabilitate such a side of our nature as the instinctive habit of lying. Any of us is inclined to hide the truth, lie, cheat, show off, or weave words of sweet lies for the sake of it.
Without lies, life does not go well, the world stands on lies. In our life, truth and falsehood alternate like day and night. Deception just as naturally stitches together a string of events, ordering their confusion, as does the sincerity inherent in us from the beginning.
One can argue with what has been said, accusing scientists of moral illegibility, ethical indifference, and indulging in base human feelings. But a scientist is just a mirror reflecting the road, and not a sign in the roadside dust: “Only this path leads to the temple!”
Of course, in our specific case - Russia, 2008 - one can talk a lot about the “growth of fraud in all spheres of life”, about the “wrongly constructed economy”, about all-consuming corruption and poverty. But let’s try to stop where the economy has not yet begun and, looking into each other’s eyes, we will look for answers to the questions: “Why are people so willing to deceive others? Why is it so difficult for us to catch deceivers?”
An interesting experiment was conducted within the walls of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, in which 121 volunteers participated. They were asked to talk to a stranger for a couple of minutes and make the best impression on him. Everyone - male and female students - coped with the task. They seemed to their counterparts to be nice and intelligent people. But how was this achieved? How are reputations created?
The answer turned out to be simple. Shameless lies! The second part of the experiment was “working on successes.” Each student, in peace and quiet, watched the video and punctually - as if in spirit - noted how many times he lied, boasted, and let dust into his eyes, convincing the stranger of his higher destiny. And if those who answered this time were honest with themselves, then 60 percent of them - wittingly or unwittingly - were cunning, trying to win the attention of their interlocutor. They lied to him. Some even managed to lie several times in the couple of minutes allotted to them.
Some, echoing the namesake’s remarks, spoke warmly about a man whom they supposedly knew and about whom, “in my opinion, they had never heard of at all.” Others hid their weaknesses, trying to make themselves look better than they really were. And one, without blinking an eye, said that he was “the star of a local rock band.” The young men, as befits men, sought to embellish themselves with lies. Men invariably tend to present themselves in a better light than they are. Women's lies are often similar to flattery: they try to convince their interlocutor that he is the best.
In another similar experiment, which lasted ten minutes, some of the participants were told before the start of the conversation that they would never see this person again. Now the percentage of those who told a lie reached 78. At the same time, the following fact was noted: if the students knew that they would see a stranger again, they lied to him more often.
What does a series of honesty tests like this tell us? Of course, about the fact that “our world is sinful, sinful.” Lies - and without any surveys it is clear - are widespread, they are found at every step. Politicians and businessmen, journalists and doctors, parents and children lie. At the same time, from these and other observations it is clear that lying has a certain social purpose and plays its role in society. Women feel this especially subtly. It was not for nothing that they more often deceived the first people they met if they thought that they would see them again. It turns out that the basis of a long-term relationship must be a lie, as a sacrifice? Does it strengthen bonds between people? When do we start lying to ourselves and others?
Psychologists note that children only at four to seven years old try to invent all sorts of tall tales - lie to peers and adults. At first, this lie looks quite ridiculous. The baby, covered in chocolate, answers his mother’s question: “Did you eat the chocolate?” - "No!" And yet this first reckless lie is an important sign... of the child’s mental development. He realized that he could look at what was happening with different eyes, and realized that people did not always think the way he did.
Here is a simple experiment that can be done with children - “entertaining psychology,” so to speak. Try telling them this story. “Sasha had a chocolate bar, he hid it in a box and went for a walk. His sister Masha spied where the chocolate was, hid it, put it in her purse, and then also left the house. Now Sasha is back. Where will he start looking for chocolate?
Children under four years old confidently answer: “In the bag!” They do not yet understand that the facts known to them are unknown to Sasha himself. He was not in the room, he did not see how the tasty tiles migrated from the box somewhere. To guess this, you need to imagine the actions of the participants in this whole story, you need to judge what they know and what they don’t know. Only older children are capable of this. They are the ones who will unmistakably answer the same question: “In their box!” After all, “Sasha” from this story is “different”; he did not hear what they just told about Masha’s tricks. As soon as the baby understands this, it means that he has begun to develop abstract thinking. And one more observation from psychologists: after about six months, the child himself will begin to lie. Now, having already realized that his peers or one of the adults do not know everything that is happening to him, he actively takes advantage of this and lies - for the sake of some benefit, as a joke, for the sake of simple interest.
Obviously, lying requires much more mental effort than telling the truth. To embellish the latter means to develop your intellect. To tell the truth is to dispassionately record reality, just like a camera does. Some psychologists believe that the emergence of lying largely influenced the evolution of the cerebral cortex. Anyone who does not lie, or at least does not imagine such a possibility, forces his brain to work at half capacity, “at idle.”
Biologists believe that the ability to deceive others has roots in the very distant past. Natural selection favored cunning people who were able to deceive and eat without blinking. So, the lie helped preserve one’s own set of genes and eradicate someone else’s from the Evolution project. It’s time to call lies “the engine of evolution.”
In fact, the simplest living creatures are practically incapable of deceiving anyone. But birds and mammals are openly cunning. This helps them defeat natural competitors in the fight for food, territory, rank in the pack - or for love. For example, male swallows scare females with alarming cries when their rival appears nearby, although there is no real danger. Marmots sometimes give false signals about the approach of an enemy, driving their relatives into burrows when they notice that there is something to feast on nearby.
Our closest relatives, the monkeys, understand quite clearly that lying can be useful. Here is a scene from the life of a chimpanzee. Some cunning member of the pack hides bananas secretly from the rest - literally leading his relatives by the nose. Enjoys fruit when no one is looking. But here comes another monkey who begins to suspect the deceiver. She hides somewhere in the bushes and watches as the rogue, looking around fearfully, approaches the hiding place and takes out a banana from there. All! The scammer is outplayed. He himself will be deceived as soon as he leaves the stage on which he played his role - he has lost the treasure.
But these are all minor things compared to the cunning and duplicity of people. Many of our fellow tribesmen - adventurers and marriage swindlers, builders of financial pyramids and thieves - have an entire survival strategy based solely on lies. They are ready to lie as naturally as we, others, breathe, lie, sometimes losing all idea of where they are honest and where they are lying. But in principle, any normal person tells a lie every day - according to various estimates, depending on what is called a lie, he commits this sin from 1.8 to 200 times a day.
Speaks! With the advent of speech, the art of deception soars to unprecedented heights. After all, our language is a real weapon of lies. Words are simply ideally suited to veil reality, to cleverly call black white and vice versa. By skillfully catching them, you can present everything that happens in a favorable light. Linguistic tricks have long become not only the norm of life, but also the foundation of all world politics, as can be easily seen from the example of Russia alone. For any event, any phenomenon, there is a pair of suitable antonym names. Some “terrorist” and “freedom fighter” always turn out to be two faces of the same truth; “victory” in a short-lived war is easily associated with “defeat,” and who should distinguish between them? The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle, and the chance of catching deceivers will also be “fifty-fifty.” Still, a skillful choice of words decides a lot, and even a blatant lie often looks invulnerable.
Once upon a time, St. Augustine categorically denied people the right to lie. “In modern philosophy,” notes the German psychologist Helmut Lukesch, “for example, it is allowed to lie if this can save a human life. Or lie for reasons of secrecy. Some philosophers even fundamentally doubt that people can have a right to the truth.” They say we live “in an era when the very concept of truth is outdated.”
Thus, a study conducted in the USA showed that two thirds of events are interpreted in one way or another... by mixing lies into them or withholding some information, that is, again their image is distorted by lies. Every third manager knowingly enters incorrect information into the documents he prepares. Another study of college students found that we lie depending on who we talk to. Most often, students lied to their mothers - in every second conversation with them.
There are many reasons for deception - and it’s not just the economy! The most banal ones come to the fore. Most of all, we lie, trying to hide our own mistakes and thereby avoid unnecessary quarrels with loved ones and conflicts with colleagues. We ourselves all understand what we have done, and we do not want to be reminded of it once again. Forty-one percent of lies are spent on this “making amends.” In 14 percent of cases, we hide from our neighbors our habits and actions that they will not like: we still smoke secretly from our mothers and have a drink in the morning without our wives noticing. In eight percent of cases, we cheat, embellishing ourselves, and hope that they will definitely love us that way. In another six percent of cases we lie to justify our laziness.
As you can see, in most cases, lying is not so criminal. We willingly manipulate facts, invent reasons for actions after the fact, and dilute the fresh water of reality with the enchanting wine of fantasy. It is much easier to create your own “advertising” image than to remake yourself, your character, to become what we want. This will take years, but you can seem good now! Lies heal our souls and help us see our own lives in a rosy light.
“The human ability to deceive oneself is one of the most brilliant programs of behavior ever to appear in nature,” says American philosopher David Nyberg. A person invents himself, and he himself becomes the main positive hero of a film about his life, directed by him all this life. Over the course of the film, he tries on several masks at once, which each time fit him well only because he forces himself to think that way. He is a brilliant lover, a good family man, a reliable friend, and an efficient employee. “I’m smart, I’m kind, I’m perfect,” these would be the subtitles for any of the footage taken. And of course, “I am truthful”, the author of this movie would lie without blinking an eye.
It's like that! Self-esteem is usually based on our illusions. Constant self-deception becomes one of the means of mental therapy. The less often we remember our unsightly deeds, the more successfully we hide unseemly thoughts, the better our souls are. We constantly retouch our portrait; we would like, like Dorian Gray, to invariably surprise others with our beauty and purity of thoughts. We diligently hide the dark sides of the soul from prying eyes, just as a vicious dandy hid the canvas that incriminates him.
So, we are all sinners, we all lie, every day, almost every hour, but we cannot tolerate liars. Researchers from the University of Regensburg have compiled a list of 555 qualities that a person must have if he wants to please you. So, in order to become your chosen one - be it a loved one, be it a friend - he must be 1) frank, 2) conscientious, 3) sensitive, 4) faithful, 5) honest, well, five hundred and fifty-five (exactly so! ), he may be deceitful. We terribly dislike in others, especially in our neighbors, what we allow in ourselves without thinking, what seems to us something natural, which we can never get rid of, like a birthmark.
Isn't it a paradox? We are ready to lie “out of our mouths”, “as written,” so that the walls would turn red if, as the saying goes, they had ears, and at the same time we do not accept even a hair’s worth of lies from others.
“Someone else’s truth helps us navigate life and develop our own line of behavior,” notes German philosopher Hans Roth. “The truth does not always make us happier, but when we need to achieve a certain goal, it is extremely important to rely on reliable, verified information - in an extreme situation our very lives depend on it.” By relying on false information, trusting the persuasion of scammers, we may simply die.
Another paradox. In modern society, permeated with lies at every step, a kind of abstract cult of truth has developed through the efforts of the mass media. In a world where the future looks so shaky, unreliable, and uncertain, each of us strives for some kind of confidence and stability. With every word of a lie, an abyss opens up again under our feet. We are no longer confident in anything, not even in ourselves. But the truth, placed in the gilded frame of truth, cast in the minted form of commandments and laws, becomes the basis of our thinking, the foundation of being, appearing to us either in the guise of religious teaching, or in the form of a body of scientific knowledge, or in the lines of a sports charter. We seek righteousness like those crying out in the desert, and at every step we are in blissful time. “If only we ourselves weren’t caught!” - this is the naked truth of behavior.
It is all the more striking that most of us are simply not able to recognize lies, although numerous clues reveal liars head on. By lying, they experience some excitement. In other words: stress. This is accompanied by physiological changes and behavior that is unusual for an attentive observer:
blood pressure rises, heartbeat quickens, face turns pale;
peripheral blood vessels narrow, hands sweat;
the work of the stomach and intestines slows down, the mouth becomes dry;
breathing quickens and becomes deeper;
the pupils dilate, muscle tone increases, in rare cases a person begins to chatter his teeth;
the tone of voice rises;
if a person smiles, it is somehow feigned; there is no smile in his eyes;
a person makes unnecessary gestures - straightens his clothes, rubs his head, while the number of gestures designed to confirm what was said is noticeably lower than usual;
The gestures and facial expressions themselves no longer correspond to the words.
Why don’t we see these “confidential confessions” of the liar point blank? Even professionals - psychiatrists, judges, intelligence agents - do not notice the lie in every third case. The notorious lie detectors - and those! — they make mistakes with depressing frequency. (By the way, five years ago, based on the results of an extensive study, the US National Academy of Sciences rendered its verdict: there is no scientific basis for using lie detectors in the future, since these machines react equally to symptoms accompanying lying statements and to symptoms caused by stressful conditions conducting an inspection.)
“To catch a liar,” notes American researcher Paul Ekman, “you need to simultaneously monitor his voice, facial expressions, gestures, words, posture and direction of gaze. No machine can do it all at once. If you look only at the speaker’s face, then the number of errors will be about 30 percent.” According to him, only one person out of a hundred can accurately determine whether the interlocutor is telling the truth or lying.
So why do we tend to believe liars? Is it because we need lies? That we are ready to accept it as truth? Comfort her? She is an integral part of our life. Our everyday life is so complex that it is even unthinkable without deception. If we told the truth at every step, life would be deadly unpleasant. Conflicts would arise constantly. The muddy water of lies softens tension in society and smoothes out rough edges.
“Lying,” notes the Hungarian sociologist Peter Stignitz, “is permissible, and therefore useful, as long as it does not cause conscious harm to other people.” All kinds of verbal cliches, usually completely false, turn out, for example, to be indispensable in life together. “No, dear, you haven’t gained weight at all,” “Of course, you were right,” or “You cook so deliciously!” If in every such case we insisted on the truthful version of events, it would certainly be impossible to avoid either a scandal or women's tears. We lie to ourselves at every step - especially when looking in the mirror. Without this saving lie, Stiegnitz adds, “we would have plunged into the abyss of depression for a long time.”
“A certain amount of deception and self-deception is simply necessary for the stability of society and for the mental health of each of us. In any human culture, deception is tolerated, probably also because it avoids unnecessary confrontation, says David Nyberg. “Sometimes it would be immoral to always and in everything renounce lies, to strive for the truth at any cost - there is something painful in this.”
So are we acting wisely or cowardly when we deceive ourselves and others? So you won’t answer right away. Both seem to be true. Both. On the one hand, the story of a character who diligently fulfilled the “formal duty of man” (Immanuel Kant) - always and everywhere telling the truth, could only become a plot for a “sitcom”. On the other hand, it is difficult to imagine a society where everyone lies recklessly, where deception is a natural form of life. Just like in cooking, it's all about the dose. A pinch of lies increases our self-esteem and makes it easier to communicate with others, while a thick scattering of lies makes life indigestible—hardly fit to live. “Untruth ate and drank with us” (Nikolai Tikhonov) - how can one not become saturated with it to the point of complete intoxication!
There are lies - and lies. These arguments are not at all intended to justify scammers, covetous people and other thieving evil spirits that parasitize on our gullibility. Their cases are rather casus belli: “I declare war on you.” They may act cunningly and intelligently, but their actions are asocial - sooner or later the human community must repair itself, getting rid of these people, isolating them. This is how the body destroys the population of harmful microbes that have settled in it.
On the contrary, a lie in other mouths can be socially useful. Worthy of praise! Aren't they miracles? A sweet lie consoles us in trouble, a saving one protects us from bitter trials, a lie told “in the name” does not allow us to sink into the ground from shame. In relationships with other people, we so often lack flexibility, and this is what a slippery, streamlined bit of lies brings. It helps us get along more easily with colleagues, sometimes turn a blind eye to unsightly facts, avoid unnecessary quarrels, and not belabor the truth with our interlocutor, but, on the contrary, strengthen him, encourage him, and instruct him. Lies and flattery turn out to be the most important tactical means of everyday life. Anyone who is ready to turn everything inside out just to show “how it really is” risks soon finding himself alone.
No one likes a truth-teller who tears apart other people's wounds. In any group, such a person develops a reputation as a “pathetic troublemaker,” and a conspiracy of silence arises around him. The collective rejects him, like an organism rejects an organ unsuccessfully implanted into it. The ability to get along with other people seems to us a more important value than banal honesty, which forces its owner to recklessly move forward, without letting anyone down.
However, next to many of us there are still one or two people who never lie to us. This was shown by a study conducted by the same psychologists from the University of Regensburg.
So who are these strange people who always reach into their pockets for the truth?
This is your best friend or best friend. They are next to you, like a mirror that shows your appearance without any embellishment. And it is amazing that this usually does not cause any conflicts. Again miracles and nothing more! Miracles of truth. Discussion
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Under and without a mask: is it always necessary to tell the truth?
To be honest, we lie not only to those around us, but also to ourselves. We can't do it any other way. It’s much more pleasant to feel like a superhero than a worthless person, which is why people come up with a mask for themselves. Take off your mask and you are completely vulnerable. Anyone can hit you, knowing that it will cause you pain. What if they think badly of us, reject us, misunderstand us? It's actually scary.
It often happens that we have one mask for people, and another for ourselves. Self-deception, according to psychologists, is needed to protect self-esteem. But it can interfere when you need an active life position and the ability to move forward despite obstacles. We see ourselves in our own way and consider this the only truth.
Meanwhile, other people may see us and our actions in a completely different light, and one day they will want to tell us the truth, which we will not like.
How to get a person to tell the truth
To tell the truth, we must learn to separate our “I” from our own thoughts and emotions, then they will no longer be able to control us. When a person deceives himself, he constantly justifies his actions, believes that anyone is to blame for his actions, but not himself.
You need to learn to take responsibility and evaluate your actions differently. When a person begins to understand that he himself is to blame for his failures, he will stop lying to himself and others. You can try to evaluate yourself by looking at your actions from a different angle. This is not only advice from psychologists. Metropolitan Anthony of Boryspil argues that you need to “shift your ego from the center of life and look at yourself from a different perspective.” Only in this case can we see the real state of affairs.
We experience an identity crisis, not wanting to know the truth about ourselves and not admitting it to ourselves or others. We are driven by fear, self-doubt, and the desire to appear better to ourselves and our surroundings than we really are. Due to envy, complexes and ambitions, a person often takes the path of lies, and then it is difficult for him to return to the truth. He begins to blame his family, boss, and parents for his failures. But it’s enough to just tell yourself that we are far from being as “white and fluffy” as we want to seem to ourselves. And it’s not “life is like this,” but we are far from ideal.
Unfortunately, in the modern world, where everything is aimed only at success and achieving goals by any means, it is very difficult to be honest with yourself and other people.
In a society where competition is at the forefront, lying is considered normal and necessary for survival. But what do we have? Disunity, hatred, unwillingness to understand another person and take a step towards him. What do we get in return? Difficult relationships in teams, high rates of divorce, depression. Having false priorities, we arrive at false goals.
White lie
However, there are situations in life when lying is necessary. Sometimes you have to tell a lie so as not to offend a person. If a friend's dress, in our opinion, is tasteless, most often we will praise it. I don’t want to spoil a person’s mood, and besides, it’s his choice that needs to be respected.
But there are situations when the truth can hurt a person or harm him. Before telling a person about a serious illness or betrayal, you need to think ten times whether the truth will be too heavy a blow for him.
But perhaps it will be easier for him to find out the truth than to constantly rush from hope to doubt and back.
Between lies and truth
We do not always speak the truth when we think we are saying it. Such an example can be “false memories”, when children, already as adults, talk about situations that did not happen, their parents simply made them up.
Or let's take another example. Spouses quarrel and, in irritation, tell each other the “truth.” In this case, everyone has their own truth, since everyone sees the current situation in their own way, only from their own side. He does not understand that his partner also perceives his actions and actions from a different point of view. But when they feel that they love and begin to reach out to each other again, the path to another person, to the true truth, opens before them.
