✅ Cool phrases about the dacha with short meaning. Statuses about vegetable garden and dacha

Funny and ironic sayings

Cool statuses about the vegetable garden will not leave indifferent the owner of the dacha - or the one whose parents or spouses force them to weed the beds with their last breath.

Dear girls! Why are you constantly offended by the goats wandering around your garden, if you yourself every now and then forget to close the gate on time?
Finally, I will be able to visit my favorite gym: and its name is a vegetable garden!
Here it is July - summer is in full swing. Sea, sun, beach, people everywhere... I was daydreaming - apparently the top of my head was overheated! Drink a cup of water and go back to the garden!
I also consider children to be the flowers of life. But only under one condition - if they grow in other people's gardens.
For some, it’s spring, happiness, barbecue picnics. Only I have one vegetable garden in front.
The mother honors May Day, and decided to give all family members a full-fledged holiday: go dig a garden.
We were terribly tired yesterday. They dug potatoes until they sweated - until suddenly the owner of the garden appeared on the horizon.
How I love working in the garden. After all, these are literally three pleasures in one: a gym, fitness, and a solarium.
Spring has come again, again we all have no time for sleep. And my fate will also take a new turn: here is manure, and here are seedlings. Hello, dear garden!
Do you think that summer is happiness, sea, sun? Yeah. This is a vegetable garden, a vegetable garden and again a vegetable garden.
When summer approaches, my only dream arises - to lay asphalt over the entire garden.
I know what a real garden is without any worries. You take your wallet and go to the market. You buy everything you need and don’t worry.
When I am in the garden on Saturday, I suddenly turn into a Jew.
Recently I came across an advertisement in the newspaper: “I would like to meet an active and energetic girl. A few words about myself: 25 hectares of personal plot"
Every woman who dreams of a house in the village must remember: life in it is hard work outside its walls from early morning until late yesterday.
I have a dream: for my grandmother's vegetable garden to turn into a Happy Farm game. So all you have to do is press one single button and you’re done: the vegetables and berries are collected.
Tell me, why are the berries in your neighbor’s garden always so tasty?
Do you want to enjoy organic, and, most importantly, free vegetables and fruits? Then you will have to buy (!) a plot, a house, seeds and seedlings, all kinds of tools, a car, gasoline... And also allocate personal time for this entire event.
Today my wife gave me the greatest pleasure. She said that the garden could be dug up tomorrow.
A truth known to every garden owner: it is much easier to put in horseradish than to work on growing it.
I am convinced: the dacha is a kind of branch of hell on earth, created by Satan himself.
My wife and I had a kind of competition on the eve of the May holidays. She pulled out a shovel and I pulled out a barbecue set. I hope to defeat her!
Why do I need a garden scarecrow? I’m already in the garden beds all day long.
The summer season has finally arrived. Now you can go to the shower not to wash yourself, but to sincerely scratch mosquito bites with a washcloth!
99% of dacha feats are accomplished only because of the competitive spirit: what if it happens that the neighbors’ tomatoes turn out to be juicier and redder, and the strawberries are sweeter? And only 1% - in order to have something to eat...
Yes, I was waiting for summer and sun. But the garden was not part of my plans!
What is the life of a gardener? This is an eternal struggle. Firstly, with other people’s children who consider your area theirs. Secondly, with his own people, who consider him a stranger.
You should be especially vigilant when you are on a property with older relatives: the entire lawn can be dug up at any moment.
Announcement: a garden of 10 acres urgently needs a sadist to plant vegetables.
Come on, come on, throw a stone at my garden. Only you don’t know that I’ll lay out a trail of them to everyone’s envy.

Cool statuses about the garden

The best lover is... VEGETABLE GARDEN! And the poses are different, and seven sweats will do!

Advertisement in the newspaper: Looking to meet an energetic woman. Briefly about yourself: 20 hectares of vegetable garden.

Want the perfect tan? Don't have enough money for a solarium? We have a solution! A rustic vegetable garden will give your skin a beautiful chocolate tint in just a couple of hours a day! A village vegetable garden - and let everyone think that you have at least vacationed in the Maldives!

Gardening without worries means taking money and going to the market. Cool statuses about the garden

It’s nice to have a house in the village... in the morning I ran out into the garden... in the evening I crawled in.

Finally, Vasya’s youthful dream came true: he paved all 6 acres of his parents’ garden!

Don't throw stones in my garden... I'll build a house... you'll die of envy! )))

A vegetable garden is three in one: solarium, fitness and gym.

I want my grandmother’s garden to be like Happy Farm) I pressed the button and that’s it – I picked the berries)

- And in our garden, because of this heat, all the grass has withered, and the horseradish is turning green... - So he doesn’t give a fuck.

And yet, the berries always taste better in the neighbor’s garden... =)

A vegetable garden is a place where a seed becomes a vegetable, a sapling becomes a tree, and a person becomes a cancer...

In the morning you go to the dacha, and in the evening you return from this damn garden.

Like any other person whose family had a summer cottage as a child, I believe that the best thing to do with any plot is to pave the hell out of it, dig a pool in the center and put a refrigerator with a martini next to it.

Source of the article: https://statuszona.ru/prikolnye-statusy-pro-ogorod.html

About painful things: beloved and dear dacha

Residents of rural areas are becoming more accustomed to having a vegetable garden. But statuses about the vegetable garden and dacha have a very special flavor - after all, there is no particular desire to go to the countryside at the end of the work week.

In the morning it seems like you are going to the country. Only in the evening everything changes dramatically - suddenly you find yourself in a damned garden...
Today we arrived at the dacha. Everything is as usual: first one hundred square meters, then another... So we managed to dig up the entire garden.
Where are you planning to go on vacation - to the country, or to Goa? — But this will depend on how the tax audit in my company goes...
The main thing is to always help the elders at the dacha. Well, barbecue, eat raspberries...
My husband and I got a dacha to relax there. And - lo and behold - we rest. Only when we are not there.
A summer resident is a person who can be compared to a flounder. His back is dark, his belly is white. And my eyes are constantly bulging.
There are only three categories of people in our state. These are the lucky ones, the losers, and also the summer residents.
Nowadays, surfing the Internet on weekends is no longer fashionable. Everyone goes to their dachas to dig. Apparently they want to find gold!
I really like the line “I’ll be out of town for five days.” Everyone thinks you’re flying to the south to sunbathe and smoke a hookah. But in reality, you go to the dacha, weed the beds and grill shish kebab.
Any dacha party is several times more fun and enjoyable if the dacha itself is not yours.
The current generation, being in the country, is able to plant only one thing - a liver.
Tell me, why does a person need a dacha? - To send children there.
A garden and a dacha are needed to give a person health, and not to take it away.

The best statuses about the garden

ore is calling. The wave is singing. And I’m like this in the garden.

ABOUT

a city without worries - just take some money and go to the market

In the morning you go to the dacha, and in the evening you return from this fucking garden.

and at the dacha on Saturdays I am a Jew...

ABOUT

a city is a place where a seed becomes a vegetable, a sapling becomes a tree, and a person becomes a cancer.

Are you looking for a perfect tan? Don't have enough money for a solarium? We have a solution! A rustic vegetable garden will give your skin a beautiful chocolate tint in just a couple of hours a day! A village vegetable garden - and let everyone think that you have at least vacationed in the Maldives!

Do you want to be pumped up and tanned? Go to the dacha for a couple of weeks in the summer.

I prepared skewers for May 1st, and my mother prepared a shovel... I wonder who will win?

here it is. Country house. Beds. Radio "Retro fm". - This is hell...

- TO

I bought a dacha: a house and one hundred square meters of land. - So if you plant there, there will be nowhere to plow!? - That's why I bought it.

Like any other person whose family had a summer cottage as a child, I believe that the best thing that can be done with any plot is to pave the hell out of it, dig a pool in the center and put a refrigerator with a martini next to it.

Pickled cucumbers are cucumbers that Marina prepared.

The slave who had been squeezed out of me was languidly digging in the garden.

Oh, we decided to go to your dacha next weekend. Will you come with us?

Acha is the place where a sapling becomes a tree, a seed becomes a vegetable, and a person becomes a cancer.

Every teenager's dream is to cover his grandmother's garden with asphalt.

I used to be happy when I went to the dacha, now I’m glad that my parents went there

The word “DACHA” scares me... Am I the only one here?

AND

The life of a summer resident is a constant struggle. With the neighbor's children who consider his garden to be theirs, and their own children who consider it a stranger.

and at the dacha I only plant liver!

We moved with the whole family to the dacha... and as usual, for one hundred square meters,... then for the second hundredth... so fucking six hundred square meters and we squandered it

Sayings about a dacha that is dear to the heart

There are statuses about the dacha that do not contain sarcasm and are filled with warmth.

Only if you wash your clothes at the dacha, will it smell of real freshness and wind.
I want to go to the country. Brew delicious mulled wine, wrap yourself in a woolen blanket... And indulge in pleasant memories.
To be happy, you need very little: just arrange a cozy dacha.
A country house must have several elements: antique furniture, a kind dog and an affectionate cat, cheerful children.
What could be more pleasant than sitting by the fireplace in the country, drinking hot chocolate and listening to the sound of rain?
It’s easy to maintain order in your dacha. The main thing is not to quarrel with each other - and then the village brownie will help keep the house and area clean.
Spending the night at the dacha in winter, you can see crimson dreams in which moon fairies dance a snow dance...
When you are at the dacha, your appetite arises from everything: you take a walk - you want to eat, work - you are generally hungry like a wolf... A dacha appetite, unlike a city one, cannot be satisfied with a cup of one percent kefir.
The dacha should always be cozy: floral curtains, ticking clocks, pleasant conversations...

Quotes on the topic "dacha"

Under a velvet skufa, in a black cassock, a Jew can be seen every day: Apostolically he walks through the mud of all four surrounding villages.

There is a lot of work, and he gets up early, As soon as the roosters crow on the collective farm. He crowns, baptizes, and forgives the parishioners their sins with a sigh.

Liaring slightly, he serves mass, holding the censer with his pale hand. Seeing off the departed on their final journey, he sings for repose at the cemetery.

He graduated from college in 1950 - his diploma was above all praise. Then work was found for all the guys - And he was the only one knocking down thresholds.

He was a Jew - the target of a rude joke that went around in those unimportant years, He was considered a disabled person of the fifth group, He wrote in the column “Nationality”: “Yes.”

A hundred-year-old grandfather - a find for a museum, Parchment and dilapidated, like the Talmud, Said: “Look at this Jew, There’s no way they’ll take him into the service.

Jew, tell me, where is the synagogue? Pork-eating and treif through and through, not knowing either the language or God. Yes, under the tsar you would be the first goy."

."And what? I could be baptized, for example, And I would be born full again. So the king persecuted me - for my faith, And you - biologically, for my blood.”

So, with the tenth polite refusal, the Jew rushed out of the ministerial doors, filled with the Most High goodness, and immediately headed to Holy Zagorsk.

Baptized without bureaucracy, quickly, He stood up, washed from worldly insults, He remained a Jew for the minister, But the Metropolitan considered him Russian.

To a student, a seasoned crammer, the wisdom of the seminary is a trifle. To the joy of the Holy Fathers, without effort, He swallowed two courses a year jokingly.

Again a diploma, again an assignment. But in vain the Jew is taken aback: This time, without any infringement, He received the best parish.

There is a lot of money in the big church circle. Rebbe, may you be happy and fat. What the hell, not thank God again? No, a Jew cannot live like a human being!

Well, I would drink vodka, eat chickens and ducks, I would build a dacha and buy ZIL, - But no: a regional saint, jokes aside, He imagined himself as a shepherd.

And here he stands, skinny and selfless, And a stream of forgotten truths pours like thunder from his thin chest onto the parishioners, such as “thou shalt not kill,” “thou shalt not steal.”