Cool statuses for social networks: 50+ best

Statuses about mood

What can describe the current state of mind better than statuses about mood? Nothing! Here is a selection of aphorisms that perfectly describe the mood:

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When there is no reason to have fun, have fun in installments!

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My mood ran out like a cell phone battery. How to charge it now? Fingers cannot fit into the socket...

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Moods come unexpectedly and go without warning.

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I wanted to drown my problems in alcohol. The bastards are coming up!

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He withdrew into himself for an indefinite period of time. It’s not a fact that I’ll be back, but I don’t recommend taking my place in the sun!

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In life there is always something missing for complete happiness: sometimes stools, sometimes rope, sometimes soap...

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The mood is like Carlson's! I want sweets and naughty things!

Laughter prolongs life

You know, we have a chance to live to see the next century! To do this, you need to laugh heartily more often, because laughter, as you know, prolongs life. Remember funny statuses in VK - they will help us in the matter of longevity.

Grandfather caught a cross between a goldfish and a shark. Fulfilling the last three wishes...
I advise anyone who is unable to approach me to avoid me.
Come along, citizen, to establish the cash.
If you know exactly who is to blame, remain silent so as not to give yourself away.
Statement: “Fuck you...” Crossed out. “I all of you...” Crossed out. “That’s all for me...” Crossed out in bold. “I ask you to grant me extraordinary leave.”
Do you know how to check a guy? Ask him the sleeping question: “Well, will you stay with me or will you go to your bitch?”
There is such a sign - you should not look in the mirror when you eat. Eat your happiness. When you drink, you can’t either - you’ll drink away happiness. Well, have you realized that you should absolutely not hang a mirror in the toilet?..
If you don’t have money for new clothes, you need to change jobs. To new employees, your wardrobe will seem new.
Only nesting dolls can live in perfect harmony!
Chocolate tastes twice as good if you can’t eat it!
And I don't care about anything! Because I worship the ancient god Danunah...
I wrote a text message to a friend: “How are you?” The answer came: “Horovo.” I’m sitting there, thinking, which letter did he get wrong?
- Mom, when Sergei comes to ask for my hand, I ask you, do not fall to your knees shouting: “You are our savior!”
I will exchange vivid memories for new sensations.
My finances are experiencing a sexual crisis. I open my wallet, and there’s nothing there!
Do you know that your statuses can greatly help the doctor in making the correct diagnosis?
Money doesn't bother me at all. And they calm down.
I'm not a marmalade, but I want to be in chocolate!

Cool statuses about husband and family

Statuses about a husband, as a rule, are witty and often truthful, clearly showing all the ins and outs of the relationship that develops between representatives of the sexes. Sometimes they become a kind of chronicle, telling about the difficulties that arose in the relationship of a particular couple.

These kinds of statuses, cool, new, are given below:

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Sometimes my husband literally shakes from talking to me. I am such an amazing woman!

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Only my husband has an ideal wife!

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If you can’t find the culprit, it means the husband is to blame.

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My husband said that the spark between us had gone out. She brought a stun gun. When he wakes up, I’ll ask again.

Life and its vicissitudes

Why put a beautiful status on your avatar? So that in difficult life circumstances it would become a motto for you.

Avoiding problems sometimes means avoiding life.
To become happy, you need to get rid of junk. Both in the house and in the heart.
A person ages quickly, but grows wise slowly.
There is no need to be upset in advance about what is not there.
Life tests us.
I have me and we will break through!
I am a kind person, but those whom I did not allow to sit on my head are sure of the opposite.
Love is believing, no matter what.
In search of happiness, people look for love... And when they find it, they become unhappy.
I wanted to help you, and you were angry that I didn’t listen to your whining!
A new life will not begin on Monday, but when you decide.
People can stay together in love and in hate. But not in indifference.
Don't litter your life with unworthy people.
In order for life to become to your liking, you need to live listening to yourself.
Which of your friends will be happy if you suddenly win a million now?..
To make the world a better place, all you need to do is be happy and love your family.
People don't have to be close to be together.
The plan for today is to survive until tomorrow.
The biggest human problem is laziness.
When trying to find someone to blame, the main thing is not to expose yourself.
You can only find something real by constantly trying something new.
There is no malice in a wise person.
One can only envy people who are able to see the beauty of the world.
There is nothing more beautiful than being happy while doing good to people.
When something good happens to you, look who is happy for you. And cut off the rest.
Nothing can hold anyone back in life.
We return from any journey different.
What's the hardest thing about your job? Approach her.
Walking along the chosen road, try at least once to take a wrong turn and enjoy life!
You can experience grief alone. But you always want to share joy with others!
A person who is simple on the outside may turn out to be extraordinary on the inside.

Short sayings have great impact. Be concise and precise so that your recommendations reach their target.

Funny statuses about love

Looking for a status about love? Cool and meaningful aphorisms of this kind are appreciated by both men and women. The best are collected in the section:

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Love is a sauce that goes with goat, pork, chicken, and even game.

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The Bible teaches to love your neighbor, and the Kama Sutra explains in detail how to do this.

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If you lose heart, then only in the arms of your loved one.

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When Cupid made a control shot in the head, then platonic love was born.

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Love is a terrible disease: it sends two people to bed at once.

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If a guy lets you drive his car, then he's definitely in love!

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Love is when good people feel bad!

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I tell him once again that I’m not cheating, but he stubbornly resists and doesn’t believe me.

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If you're unlucky in love, you'll probably be lucky in alcoholism.

And now - short and meaningful statuses about relationships:

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If you behave badly, I will marry you and stay with you.

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There are only two main mistakes in relationships: breaking off living relationships and clinging to dead ones.

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Lovers come and go, but husbands remain!

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Don’t look for a spark in a relationship, because you need to find an eternal flame

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A woman is afraid of the end of a relationship, and a man is afraid of its beginning...

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A woman cannot help but turn into a saw if there is firewood nearby!!!

Sometimes statuses are short and can tell more about love and relationships than an entire novel.

Photo: nur.kz: Original

About people and relationships

People who speak briefly often speak more than flowery demagogues. Set a beautiful status on your avatar with meaning to unobtrusively give advice to one of your friends.

Friendship multiplies joy and divides sorrow in two.
An empty pocket does not hinder anything as much as an empty head.
It is not a diploma that leads to success, but real skills.
It's easy to argue, but difficult to understand.
A seeming fool may one day turn out to be a wise man.
There is no need to strive to be good to everyone. Be yourself.
A gift from fate is a person who loves you.
People are divided into 2 camps: those who do not work, but get rich, and those who work without receiving anything.
There is nothing worse than being alone in a crowd.
There is no beast more terrible than the truth.
To raise good children, you need to spend less money on them and devote more time.
The future is created by our thoughts today.
The joy of love is great, but the suffering is much greater.
To kill fear, you need to try to do what is scary.
People are the same everywhere and deserve respect with everyone.
When you really want something, you don’t argue, but achieve it.
I will forgive you everything except your absence.
Everything we can want is real.
I hoped that he was my future. But he became the past.
Talents see the miraculous in the ordinary.
Someone you think you know may turn out to be completely different.
We are ready to hold on to the familiar, even if it is a fence protecting us from life.
The most powerful fuel in life is emotions.
People often lose because they are afraid of losing.
Mine will not leave me so easily.
You have to go where you want, not where you need to.
When making a living, don’t forget what it’s like to live.
Those who most often look for the guilty are those who need to correct their mistakes.
Giving up after the first defeat is stupid, after the hundredth it is unacceptable.
You have to become better yourself, then the world around you will change.
Miracles happen to those who believe in them.
Beautiful people have beautiful thoughts, first of all.
I wanted to believe people, but they convinced me that I shouldn’t.
Only the one who sleeps makes no mistakes.
Problems make the smart people act, but the stupid ones get bored.
They can say whatever they want about you, but don’t believe it!
You have to try everything to understand what you really like.
If only we knew how powerful our thoughts are, we would stop thinking all kinds of nonsense.
Our actions show how much we want something.

Laughter for no reason is a sign of an easy character

Laugh at yourself as loud as possible! So that you don’t hear others laughing at you... Let the funniest statuses on VK give you reasons for smiles of varying degrees of width.

If you think that I don’t like you, say so directly, and I will love you!
Just when you find the key to happiness, some bastard changes the lock!
Sexy is not when you try to show it, but when you can’t hide it.
On the eve of the New Year, the boss published a congratulation on the website, where he wished us all a break...
Well, where we do not. But someday we will get there...
I’ll ask heaven for wisdom to understand a man, endurance to tolerate his antics, love to forgive him... I won’t ask for strength, otherwise I’ll kill him inadvertently...
I took my soul away yesterday... Nobody remembers where?!
There are people in the world with whom you are ready to share everything... that they have.
At first a person believes in Santa Claus, then he doesn’t believe, and finally the moment comes when he himself is Santa Claus.
If a man is good-looking and free, he is like an empty seat on a train at rush hour. There's something wrong with him.
Never be afraid to look like a fool, because everyone is your own!
If your butt doesn't want adventure, this is a reason to think about your psychological state.
Rules of etiquette. If, when writing a message on VK, you see that your interlocutor is also writing a text, you need to stop and give him the opportunity to express his thoughts.
My nervous system starts up half a turn.
I ordered a suspended ceiling with the inscription: “Tomorrow for a run!” I wake up every day and think: it’s good that not today...
Judging by the fact that gas prices have risen again, Gazprom has another dream.

The most serious thing in life is to laugh

In life, the one who knows how to smile is right. Therefore, the next time you feel sad, open VK statuses that are meaningfully funny. Then soon the desire to be sad will leave you!

Pharmacies should not sell medicine, but time. Because it heals.
Girls, remember, a husband with a feeling of guilt is very useful in the house!
I understand that you have nothing, but still try to think about it...
A win-win plan sounds like this: “Bullshit, let’s get our bearings!”
Unrecognized PR managers discuss us behind our backs...
Where does childhood go? And you will remember where it plays, and you will understand!
You won't get bored with me! You will be ashamed!
The alarm clock has such a fate that it is hated both when it rings and when it doesn’t...
Student life has undergone major changes over the past decades. Previously, you had to study, and during the breaks you could earn extra money. Now you need to work, and during breaks you can learn.
All workers are divided into three categories: 1st - from God, 2nd - well, with God and 3rd - God forbid!
Smile and let everyone wonder what's on this idiot's head!
Slimming tea has a very good taste. Especially with cake.
What you don’t remember didn’t happen!
A man should be a fairy tale... That is, with a good ending!
I can stop drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, having sex... but damn, I can’t stop swearing!
I'm going to hang out to once again see how great it is at home, in pajamas, slippers and reading a book!
Every time I make a decision, I seem to hear the cockroaches in my head applauding...
I never knew that I lived so curly until I heard gossip about myself...
If the world were good, why would we scream like that at birth!

It's all for fun

Don't be fooled - as if the funny statuses on VK are telling us they're funny. Try to laugh at a problem and it will turn into a joke.

Life is not a fun thing. Only a ridiculous salary saves you!
I don’t know who wrote the script of my life, but he has a strange sense of humor...
Weekend plans: suffer. Suffer some bullshit.
It’s damn nice, you know, to leave the computer after a working day and go home... to sit down at the computer again!
Men are like books. Some are interesting, some are boring... And some have money!
Not only can you not order your heart. There are also other organs...
The wind in the head provides fresh thoughts.
I’ll forgive the cockroaches in my head to be considered the highlights of my personality!
Our country has a favorable climate. Favorable for destroying the enemy.
It's good to have a sense of humor. This makes it easier to cope with the absence of everything else.
No matter how much a person believes in omens, he will refuse the 13th salary!
Dreams come true... We must add to this phrase: when it is no longer needed.
Ivan Tsarevich jumped onto his horse! Because Elena the Beautiful was not around...
Old Jewish wisdom: “Don’t worry so much, you don’t get paid for it.”

Be ready for laughter - always ready!

And finally - not just funny, but very funny statuses in VK!

My cat knows all the hotkey combinations.
Compare your photos in your international passport and your regular passport. I bet you're more fun in the first document?..
If you sent it with three letters, let it be UAE...
Aaaand... the Formula 1 race was won by a minibus driver who drove onto the track by chance and managed to pick up passengers!
What is an indecent word for a Russian, is a surname for a Chinese...
With the right selection of books in the toilet, you can significantly increase the level of your education.
On the Paris-Torzhok plane after landing, you can hear not applause, but muffled sobs.
Swearing parrots helped find a group of Russian tourists lost in the jungle...
It’s a bad omen to flash your iPhone in the doorway...
She was a teetotal girl and went to bed no later than 10 pm every day. But everything changed when she left prison...
Russian people watch the news to find out who has it worse in the world than them...
After reading: “Don’t interfere, he’ll kill you!” Russian people understand that when you get in, you have to be more careful...
“I won’t lie down on the sofa like that again,” the father of the family promised guiltily, removing his two children from the chandelier.”
Anything secret becomes... an excuse to drunkenly chat with someone.
To solve problems, sometimes you just have to get off your butt.
Life is movement, some with its convolutions, others with its ears...
You need to live in such a way that you don’t have time to sit on VK...
Anyone can understand the theory of relativity by standing for an hour in front of a sign that says “Gone for 15 minutes.”
Alcohol doesn't help solve the problem, but it helps you forget what it is.
If your stomach hurts, it means the butterflies are sick...
Made friends with a stone. He fell into the river and drowned. But I became attached to him!
My refrigerator is always welcome! Whenever he sees me, he always glows from within.
God, give me patience, NOW!
My wife says I talk in my sleep. I think he’s lying, no one complained at work.

Laugh - it upsets your enemies and makes your friends happy! Let life constantly give you reasons to show off your teeth in all their glory.