Why you should know the difference between romantic and friendly hugs
You might think that the difference between a romantic hug and a friendly hug is who gives it. If a lover hugs, it is romantic, and if a friend hugs, it is friendly. But it's not always that simple. Not every hug your partner gives you is romantic. If you just need to relax after a long day, then the action may be more friendly. And if a friend hugs you after a party, it can be romantic.
Hugs can have deeper meaning. They can lead to a kiss or express condolences and sympathy. This is how you can say hello or goodbye.
But why should you know the difference? Are you worried that your relationship is turning into a friendship? Are you wondering if your friend has feelings for you? Are you worried that your colleague or even your boss comes to you with open arms?
In every situation, when it comes to romantic or friendly hugs, it's worth understanding the difference so you don't have to worry about the consequences.
By what characteristics or signs can you understand that the action is romantic or friendly?
Light and color
A cozy home should be bright and warm. Light - in the sense of well and properly lit, and warm - in the sense of being finished in a warm color scheme. By the way, about warm colors. Oddly enough, traditionally warm shades of the color palette are not always able to make a home cozy. Here, rather, what is important is their presence in the colors of the house and their harmonious combination with any other colors. And even a completely non-colorful black and white interior can look not only stylish, but also quite cozy.
Colors such as blue, beige, sand, green, terracotta, and lilac are considered cozy. Too bright colors, as well as many colors, will make the interior of your home memorable and catchy, but hardly cozy. Although the presence of bright colors as separate accent spots is welcomed by many interior designers. Well, every artist has his own vision of aesthetic perfection, and every owner has his own idea of convenience. Therefore, the main rule for choosing the main color of the interior is to make it pleasing to the eye and joyful to the heart.
There is no need to say much about light, as an important component of a cozy home. Everything is clear - a cozy home should be bright. Therefore, no dim or burnt out light bulbs or dirty lampshades. It is also desirable that in each room of your house there is not one single chandelier under the ceiling, but at least two lighting sources.
Friendly hugs
A friend's hug is light and short. In most cases, cuddling with a buddy is simply about bringing your bodies closer together without any hint of intimacy.
The friendly gesture may include a pat on the shoulder or back. This is how two roommates meet in their dorm during college years. This hug renews friendship or can be congratulatory.
Friends' arms are usually crossed. That is, one of your hands goes below the armpit, and the other above. There is something platonic about this form of hugging.
When hugging a friend, your shoulders and even your faces touch, but your hips and waist do not come close. Even with their closest friend they are at a distance and do not touch.
A lateral gesture is always friendly. When a friend pulls you aside with one hand, this is a sign of friendly love, but not romance. For example, in group photos everyone has their arms around each other's shoulders.
Friendliness presupposes reciprocity. If you are hugged, you either agree and reciprocate the action, or you don’t. There is respect in a friendly hug that a romantic hug may lack if there is an abuse of power in the relationship.
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When a child wants to show his parents how much he loves them, his arms involuntarily clasp the neck or hips of loved ones. He presses his whole body against them, like an animal, wrapping all his love in a circle of hugs. But for some reason, over the years, some people hug less and less. Either from shyness, or from callous feelings.
Someone is used to keeping their feelings under lock and key, and rare hugs sometimes become an anomalous phenomenon: it’s like sea waves in a lake.
– When was the last time you hugged your grandfather? – I once asked one of my friends, whose relative was very ill and had been in the hospital for almost a month.
– Kissed me on the cheek yesterday, when he sat on the edge of the hospital bed and stretched his shaking hands towards me. And I probably hugged him as a child... I don’t even remember. For what? Is it really that important?
“And when did you hug your wife,” I asked restlessly.
- A wife is another matter. I hugged you this morning. She wrapped her arms around my neck and hung on it like a chimpanzee. I hugged her to keep my balance. You see, it’s hard not to hug your wife. It is purely physically uncomfortable to stand in the tin soldier pose during a passionate kiss.
Photo: m24.ru/Alexander Avilov
At some point, an argument broke out between us. I tried to prove to my friend how important it is sometimes to just hug. At least for 5 seconds, hold a loved one close to you, let him into your inviolable space, feel his inhalation and exhalation, pat him on the back with your palm: they say, how long have we not seen each other, or how glad I am to see you again.
The acquaintance, in turn, said that this was all nonsense and unnecessary mi-mi-mi: “If you want to raise your emotional tone, give me some money or take me to a restaurant.” The conversation reached a dead end with an impenetrable wall, and on this note we said goodbye.
My classmate Galya often remembers her loved ones. She posts black and white photographs on Instagram from a family album - grandparents and other relatives who are no longer alive. He boasts of his noble origins.
One day the other day I met her by chance in a cafe, and over a cup of coffee we talked about hugs.
- Galya, tell me, how often did you hug your relatives? They were so beautiful that if I were you, I would wrap my arms around them every time we met.
“You know, I always wanted to do this,” Galina shared her innermost thoughts with me. “I even imagined how I squeezed my grandmother with my hands, how I kissed her on the cheek, and she smiled back at me and stroked my back. These sensations gave me goosebumps. Probably something from childhood. Somewhere in the depths of my soul, like on a memory card, these warm hugs were preserved. But every time I came to my aunt or grandmothers, something stopped me. Probably fear of being misunderstood or not wanting to look like a simpleton. You see, they were intelligent people, and I was scared to hug them - I didn’t know if it was customary for them. Yes, and I was raised just like them, and I loved them madly. But I probably hugged when I was very little. What will you take from the children?
Photo: m24.ru/Alexander Avilov
After our conversation, I walked down the street, and wet snow covered the asphalt. It was freezing and the wind was blowing hard. I wanted to come home quickly to hug my daughter and cuddle up to my husband: to really hug her, giving them my love with every cell of my body.
I suddenly wanted to hug my parents, open my arms to them, as in childhood, and cling to them with my whole body, so that it would last for a long time...
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Romantic hugs
Romantic hugs usually drag on. Even if you just decided to have lunch, the action may drag on.
Romantic hugs are more intimate and involve a lot of touching touches. Stroking and touching are smoother and directed towards the lower back. Faces in romantic action are usually pressed against each other.
While hugging, partners usually cannot see the other person's face, but eye contact before or after hugging can show a romantic mood and lead to a kiss.
Showing affection makes the action romantic. Lightly stroking the head or arm, lower back or chest is an indicator of a romantic mood.
If the person hugging you wants to hug your entire body, all the most intimate places, then there is no doubt that the hug is romantic.
If you are caught by surprise, you are not in control of the situation and find yourself in the armpits of another person, then the person hugging you is in a very romantic mood. Although sometimes a show of strength and pressure can be seductive, some impressionable girls are intimidated by it.
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Modernity and romance
Today there are more differences between friendly hugs and romantic ones. In fact, the differences can be endless depending on the relationship, personality and situation.
Even without knowing the special signs of a romantic hug and a friendly one, you can just feel the difference. Hugging differs not only in gestures and actions, but also in the feelings you experience.
Cleanliness and tidiness
It is no coincidence that cleanliness in the house is considered the first commandment of a good housewife. A dirty house cannot be cozy. We do not at all urge you to make a fetish out of cleanliness and achieve a sterile operating room in your home (although in some places such sterility would not be superfluous). But still, it is necessary not only to restore cleanliness from time to time, but also to try to maintain it constantly.
Yes, yes, this is a “sick” topic for many women: we don’t have enough time, and we get tired at work - it’s all true. However, if we are already talking about comfort in the house, then we cannot do without cleanliness and order. And we’re not just talking about timely washed dishes or hastily wiped floors. Cleanliness must be real! This means that cloudy window glass should not be hidden behind blinds or curtains, and dust should be wiped not only in places accessible to the eye, but on top of shelves and cabinets. By the way, order should also reign behind closed cabinet doors.
Now look at the doors and walls: greasy jambs, tattered door handles, not very clean switches on the walls - all this also does not add comfort to your home, just like peeling wallpaper here and there or the texture of the plaster emphasized by dust. By the way, both the curtains on the windows and the upholstery fabric of upholstered furniture should be clean. In general, any textiles in your home should always be clean: fabrics easily absorb odors and even if they don’t seem dirty on the outside, they can add a significant fly in the ointment to your ointment. By the way, the smell in the house is also an important component of comfort.
Comfort or danger?
If you feel comfortable and safe, it's most likely a friendly hug. If you're feeling nervous or nervous, it could be a romantic hug.
But if you feel insulted, depressed or awkward, it's an inappropriate hug. This action can be initiated by a family member, friend, colleague, boss, or anyone else. It is a sign of a larger problem, an abuse of power and a violation of your personal space and comfort. The action should be stopped, discomfort should be expressed and dissatisfaction should be voiced.
The main takeaway from this should be that hugging is usually a sign of affection between two people who care about each other on different levels, from friendship to romance, and even just greeting. Knowing the difference between the two can be helpful when you're unsure about your relationship or someone else's feelings.
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