Consider yourself lucky if you can balance socializing with alone time. After all, your parents didn't specifically raise you alone or teach you to be alone. Since childhood, you have learned the various social skills needed to form relationships. However, there are days when you don't want to answer a text or a phone call, but just sit on the couch with your dog and watch TV shows.
This kind of withdrawal may give your friends the impression that you are antisocial, which can cause problems.
It's moments like these that you learn to be alone.
However, it's harder to learn to be alone among people you have to interact with on a daily basis. In people's minds, the desire to be socially active is the norm for everyone.
When you learn to be single and enjoy it, another level of self-improvement and self-care develops. You open yourself up to better understand new aspects of who you are, which in turn strengthens your relationships.
Poultry farmers will be supported: the problem of program implementation
What does the fee of modern writers consist of and how much do they earn?
Analysts named the economic sector with the maximum personnel shortage in May
In reality, growing up comes with a lot of responsibilities, constant breakups, lost friendships and social misunderstandings, all of which can be exhausting. You can begin to strategize how you will learn to be alone, enjoy it, and maintain amazing relationships without expending unnecessary energy.
Research shows that only 15% of the 82 million US population has no friends. This doesn't mean they are lonely or uninterested in interaction. These people just spend time alone from time to time.
Learning to be alone is a healthy choice. So when you find yourself without company at a certain point, you won't view it as something terrible, but as moments worth spending with yourself.
How to understand your true desires
Often people are faced with another problem: they do not understand how to reveal their desires even to themselves and distinguish them from generally accepted ones. “The easiest way to understand that you are following someone else’s path is that you are tired. When you seem to be resting, you seem to be doing what you like, but there is some kind of inner fatigue, some kind of inner feeling that you’re tired of everything. As if it's not mine. We also call this the sensation of a foreign body. It is possible to recognize this. Again, for example, if we are talking about a woman, then the situation will manifest itself as irritability, tearfulness, and withdrawal,” notes Alexey Melekhin. And the main thing here is to discover desires.
At the same time, as the specialist notes, you should not make checklists and overfeed yourself with them, you should not look for some kind of support, for example, an all-knowing person, you should not immerse yourself in the world of Internet searches, re-read magazines, etc. You should try to build your own route : what do I want, what do I want?
You can try the option of imagining yourself as a phone. For example, imagine that you woke up in the morning, and your charge is running low: 20 percent is left, and there is no way to recharge. Then decide exactly how you want to spend your day, in what mode: routine, squirrels in the wheel, mother of the family, relaxation, etc. And then immediately everything important will come to the fore, and everything unimportant will be eliminated. “And the most amazing thing is that in this case, by the evening you will have 80% of your strength left. And here the main thing is not to fall into temptation and not try to spend it right away, but save it for the future. The logic of the economy, not the expenditure of energy, should operate,” says Alexey Melekhin.
There are contraindications, it is necessary to consult a specialist.
Is it good to be alone
Spending quality time with yourself will help you improve your psychological development and experience. On the other hand, spending too much time alone can negatively impact your mental and physical health. This will keep you at the mercy of your inner critics, lead to depression, crippling loneliness, and can ultimately lead to poor health.
Therefore, you pretty much have to find a balance between the two extremes. However, there are some health benefits to being alone.
Alone time increases productivity
How quickly do you get work done when someone is constantly talking around you? Your goal might be to complete chores, run errands, complete a school assignment, or meet a work deadline. Even the sound of your phone when a text or mail arrives can cause you to lose focus on a task.
This year, Russian wheat lands are under threat
80 thousand rubles and demand: concrete worker in Russia - pros, cons and salary
Office clutter: psychological causes and consequences of work chaos
The brain is naturally programmed to be more productive when there are few or no distractions. So, if you want to be more productive, improve your work or study results, spend time alone.
What is the essence of the problem?
“The age of melancholy is understood as the age of depression. That is, such time periods when a person is most often prone to depression. In foreign practice, it is believed that the age of melancholy falls on such time periods as 30, 45, 50 and 60 years. These are very important milestones,” says Alexey Melekhin.
Question answer
How to get out of the trap of a destructive scenario in your life? The psychoanalyst notes that it is not difficult to recognize such an age in oneself. The main indicator, according to Alexey Melekhin, is the feeling of having lost something, a feeling of emptiness, that something has been lost, dissatisfaction. “At the same time, the person himself cannot accurately describe what is happening to him. He has a feeling that something is missing, but at the same time, if he is asked what is wrong, he is unlikely to be able to answer. A feeling of melancholy and loneliness appears, even if, for example, he is married and has children,” says Alexey Melekhin.
The psychoanalyst notes that the problem with the development of such a state is that a person once betrayed his desires, for example, he wanted to paint oil paintings or feed dolphins at the zoo, but instead studied to be an accountant and works with numbers every day. And then a certain age comes, and it hits him, and quite seriously. He begins to regret missed opportunities. “Here a person can dwell in the past with thoughts, in the future he can be haunted by fears, but in the present there is nothing to cling to at all: work and problems are everywhere,” notes the psychoanalyst. Therefore, the age of melancholy is also understood as a kind of time travel, when a person mentally lives in the past or, conversely, is already entirely in the future.
In the present, because of this person, nothing makes him happy. “Apathy directly manifests itself, a person wants something, but again cannot understand what exactly. He goes to the store, buys himself clothes, a new phone, but everything is not the same, these feelings are not the same,” says Alexey Melekhin. Then all that remains is to ask yourself the question of what you have discarded in life. “Maybe they really wanted to draw. And the psyche wants you to start moving in this direction, otherwise such things, diving into melancholy, will be repeated,” the psychologist notes.
Eyes are wet. Why we are sad and what to do with this feeling Read more
It helps improve relationships with others
Being an extrovert is amazing. However, sometimes being an introvert is good too. Research shows that introverts are more in touch with themselves and are better at expressing self-awareness and empathy. This allows them to understand the people around them and manage relationships better.
Tipping in the Russian Federation has grown to its maximum over the past 5 years
Freelancing and professional career: what kind of work do Russian students dream of?
Real estate prices will begin to decline
In fact, research shows that relationships thrive when the people involved can take a step back and maintain a certain level of independence. The reunion refreshes their relationship.
It allows you to revive your mind
The need to connect with friends can be joyful and help with some aspects of brain function. However, what happens when your brain starts to lose creativity or starts craving some kind of break from the noise and action of your social life?
In times like these, solitude is very beneficial. Spending some time alone will help your mind complete previous activities, relax and recharge. Also, when your brain is relaxed, many things begin to make sense and fit together beautifully. All this is a good reason to be alone.
How to fix
If you feel like you are feeling sad, you should start fighting for yourself. “The first thing to do is to start talking to yourself with questions. And the first one is what is the lack, what is missing?” - says Alexey Melekhin. At the same time, he notes that if depression sets in, there is no need to immediately become despondent. “At one time, Jung said that depression is a lady in black. And if she came, then for some reason, her appearance indicates that she has some kind of character, which means that there is some issue that is relevant at the moment for a person. And this condition is the norm,” says Alexey Melekhin.
Accordingly, when loss of strength and melancholy appear, you should ask yourself a question about lack, and the first thing that comes to mind will be the answer. Some people, for example, just need to rest.
Also, to correct the situation, you should move away from the switching mode, says the specialist. “Our modern culture is guilty of this. For example, for depression it is advised to go to a specialist and use medications. But in fact this is a diversion from reality. After all, there should be just a question of meeting yourself. Because the age of melancholy is when you have already overfed yourself with something that makes you feel sick. And here it is important to understand what I want, whether it happens that I want something after others, because they went - and I went. For example, a neighbor runs and goes to the gym, and that’s what I want. Do you really want this? Or to be like everyone else? The age of melancholy often occurs in those who live in a similar way, and perhaps your happiness lies elsewhere,” says the psychologist.
Request stop. Who needs to “slow down” their life Read more
It boosts your creativity
The best ideas come to mind when he is left all alone. He generates amazing plans, weighs the pros and cons, and just creates beautiful, creative stories.
So, when you feel pressured to exercise your creativity and you can't handle the pressure of brainstorming, you can simply separate yourself from the crowd and give your mind some time to think and come up with a great idea.
Life is a very short time between two eternities
Quotes and aphorisms about time and life
***
In life, you either have to save money or spend it. One person does not have enough time for both. Persian proverb
***
The most precious thing a person has is life. But if you look at this very life in more detail, you can say that the most precious thing is Time, because life consists of Time, consists of hours and minutes. Daniil Alexandrovich Granin
***
Life is a very short time between two eternities. Carlyle T.
***
And time is running out, your life is wasted on nonsense, and by the way, you don’t have another life, do you know? Max Fry "Coffee Book"
***
You don’t choose times - you live and die in them.
***
Time is the fabric of which life is made. B. Franklin
***
Instead of wasting time discussing other people's lives, spend it better on your family.
Time cures
***
Time heals, so don't waste it on doctors. Valery Afonchenko
***
Time, of course, is the best healer. But in the end it kills. Vladimir Kolechitsky
***
Time. It doesn't heal. No. It's like wrapping bandages around a wound. It's not visible at all from the outside. As if you are safe and sound. And everyone thinks that it is so - after all, time has passed. And it doesn’t matter that the bandages bleed at night. Over time, this too will stop.
***
Time does not heal, the one who hugs you tighter each time heals.
***
Time is what many consider to be a cure for the past, they say that time heals, but time, even if you don’t try to stop it, will kill you.
***
Yes, time is a great healer! The pain in the soul dulls... Memories spoil everything, pouring salt on the wounds. Rozbitskaya Natalya
***
I don’t want time to heal me - I just don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.
We waste time, but it doesn’t wait... Evgeniy Moskalenko
Time flies
***
It would be better if time flew slower and crawled faster.
***
How time flies - I don’t have time to get used to my age...)))
***
The time comes when you understand that life did not crawl, did not walk, and did not stand, but flew, and always. Galina Bobyleva
***
Our time is running out so quickly - I understand, looking through the years. I was with the wrong ones, where I should have been with those with whom I will never be... Andrey Chernikov
***
It was crucified on the dial, but it continues to walk, run and fly. Tamara Sinelni
TIME - why is there so much of it in inaction and so little of it when you are happy...
