Be yourself: quotes, aphorisms, inspirational sayings

When a person follows fashion, he is accepted in society. But as soon as you get distracted for a moment and show the world your true thoughts and priorities, those around you begin to bypass such a person. It’s not that such a member of society is frightening or arouses antipathy, it’s just that he is impossible to understand. A person, following his ideals, and not the aspirations imposed by society, begins to cause rejection. It is impossible to predict, and this always makes you feel uneasy. Perhaps quotes about yourself and the fact that you don’t need to imitate someone will help you understand: being unique is good or bad.

"There's no place for you here"

Oscar Wilde once said that you should always remain yourself, because other places are taken. If philosophers and writers could still create demagoguery on this issue, then science 100% agrees with this statement.

Not long ago (in 2009), a neurophysiological study was conducted, as a result of which scientists came to the conclusion that each person perceives the world differently. If the consciousnesses of two people are swapped, then neither of them will recognize 70% of the objects around him.

From this we can conclude that each person is unique and sees the world around him in his own way. So be yourself! Quotes about this are not without meaning, even if you look at the issue from a scientific point of view.


To be oneself as a personality quality is the ability to freely, honestly, without masks, pretense, falsehood and panache, to express one’s personality qualities, to behave naturally, in accordance with the current level of one’s consciousness, to act without tension, feeling spiritual comfort and well-being.

To be yourself, you first need to gain a sense of your personal value, your identity, uniqueness and individuality.

People dream of being unique, and for this you just need to be yourself. Each person has his own zest, his own uniqueness. The fear of being oneself prevents them from expressing themselves to their full potential.

To be yourself, and not seem like someone else, you need to strive for improvement and self-realization. God is not interested in who you wanted to appear to be, He is interested in who you really were: a notorious scientist or a real seeker of truth, a notorious celebrity or a personality deserved and loved by people for high dedication to your work, realized talent, for complete dedication in self-expression and self-realization.

The trouble with those who do not want or cannot be themselves is that they rob themselves of the opportunity to express themselves, they cannot self-explore, analyze and realize themselves. Having deprived yourself of the opportunity to be yourself, and therefore not understanding yourself, it is difficult to improve and develop personally.

A person can be one hundred percent himself in a fertile environment - close relationships. In an environment of intimacy, he is understood, accepted, respected, and, most importantly, loved. When there is a manifestation of mutual unconditional, selfless love, a person behaves in the most natural way, that is, he gets a great opportunity to be himself.

Respect and love give others the opportunity to be themselves. For example, the wife was offended, it’s okay - that’s her right. The husband got angry - no big deal, maybe he was just tired from work. If he rests, he will stop being angry. In other words, there is respect in the family, which allows you to forgive a loved one. This power of respect creates the conditions for a loved one to be himself.

Being yourself does not mean ignoring your role range or using social masks in life. Social masks in themselves are not bad, as long as they do not turn into an impenetrable barrier to being oneself and do not kill a person’s ability to express himself.

A person who has the ability to be himself behaves without regard to other people’s opinions, shows his qualities naturally, uninhibitedly, liberated, without tension, and at the same time feels inner comfort and harmony.

Often a person hides under someone else’s mask in order to be liberated for at least some time, to catch a taste of happiness from the illusory joy of being himself, without pretending or lying. But such emancipation is reminiscent of Cinderella’s situation, when at midnight the coachman becomes a rat and the carriage becomes a pumpkin.

Those who are afraid to be themselves put masks on themselves.

A rented mask only temporarily makes you feel like someone else. The masquerade is over and you return to your enslaved existence. You can’t be yourself, so you put on “your” mask, but for some reason you again feel complex and fenced off from the world.

Masks have one big disadvantage - they grow to the face and corrode it. And I would like to be myself, but the mask that has grown into the body interferes.

Someone who displays the quality of being oneself is not characterized by contradictory behavior. In any situation, he will behave in strict accordance with the character of his personality. He doesn’t care whether he is alone or in public, whether anyone sees him or not. He will be himself on a desert island, in a virgin forest, and in the desert of death.

To be yourself means to behave naturally, the same way both at home and in public, and on a desert island and in a cheerful company, and in the desert and in a crowded square.

That is, when there is no difference between the internal and external in a person, he behaves in the usual way, without tension, and appears before people as he really is.

The topic of “being yourself” is usually of great interest to those who have not yet truly felt their self-worth, originality and uniqueness, those who show self-doubt, have problems in interpersonal communication, feel internal tension and psychological discomfort.

In an effort to be oneself, it is unacceptable to “go too far,” that is, to ignore the requirements and rules that are imposed by respect for people, basic good manners and politeness.

If you are tormented by dissatisfaction with another person, first look at yourself. Another person, another world. You have the right to be yourself, and others to be different. If you make an attempt to change another person, it cannot be called anything other than military action. The war of the worlds begins at the energy level. Naturally, a person begins to repel the treacherous attack on his world. We see such wars everywhere in couples: wife-husband, boss-subordinate, man-woman, parents-children, etc.

Since all people are to varying degrees under the influence of three energies: goodness, passion and ignorance, it is simply risky and unsafe for society to give some of them the slightest opportunity to be themselves. This will be criminal connivance and indulgence in evil.

If scoundrels and scoundrels are themselves, and even worse, they “progress” in their scoundrels and scoundrels, then those around them will clearly not be happy with their behavior.

A person in ignorance, if he has even a drop of brains left, should ask himself the question: “Do I need to strive to be myself if I am a degenerating scum?”

In the desire to be oneself, there is a danger of staticity, unwillingness to develop, to grow personally. It is unacceptable. You need to cultivate positive personality traits, improve yourself, and try to be yourself at a new level of consciousness. Again, temporary, because development is endless.

In the desire to be yourself there is a risk of remaining yourself.

To declare to the world: “Here I am as I am and I’m not going to change,” means to acknowledge my degradation.

In other words, the desire to be oneself with a simultaneous reluctance to develop cannot be the goal of life in itself. Anyone who does not move forward, even just standing still, will inevitably regress.

A high life goal is to be in constant development, to improve spiritually, to cultivate virtues in oneself, and at the same time, at each stage of growth, to strive to be oneself, that is, at each specific moment to be at the optimum, at the top of one’s consciousness, one’s development. And so all my life.

Peter Kovalev

Other articles by the author:

How does it feel?

What does it mean to be yourself? Quotes and aphorisms give different answers to this question. First of all, it is worth noting the statement of Mark Twain:

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to stop and think.

To understand the depth of the statement, you need to imagine a wide pasture on which a herd of sheep/cows/rams is grazing (underline as appropriate). Behind the pasture there is a deep abyss. The sky is clean and clear, nothing portends trouble, but suddenly a deafening roar is heard from somewhere. Having grouped, the herd begins to run away from the source of the sound. Hearing the roar of its hooves, it considers itself invincible, and rushes to certain death - into the abyss. Individually, each sheep knows that it is impossible to run there, but in the general mass no one hears the lonely voice of reason.

Perhaps the comparison is slightly exaggerated, but similar situations can be found at all levels of human activity.

Ideal Angle

I think the reward for conformity is that everyone but yourself likes you. (Rita Mae Brown)

In this quote, “being yourself” means liking yourself. It is important to remember once and for all that ideals and perfections do not exist when it comes to a person. A right angle is another matter. These 90° are perfect, no matter how you look at them, but this does not work with a person. People are different. Some people like Olivier salad with cranberries, some are inspired by forgotten jazz compositions, and others like ancient literature. Some violently engage in verbal polemics and arguments, others are too lazy to even look offended, and still others prefer loneliness. This is fine. But for some reason they are ashamed of it. Yes, modern fashion trends dictate their conditions. But where is it written that they are unbreakable rules?


Accepting yourself is what it means to be yourself. A quote from Friedrich Nietzsche, however, warns that this is a difficult task:

The individual always has to fight not to be crushed by the mass. If you try this, you will often be lonely and sometimes you will feel scared. But no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself.

A simple example: a person has a goal that is incompatible with social norms of existence. That is, it is fundamentally different from the old dusty “home-work” scenario. But a person is passionate about it, strives to achieve what he wants. Well, as usual, the path to your cherished dream is full of dangers.

He falls, rises and falls again. Those around him persistently poke his nose into the failures and “kindly” advise him to be like everyone else. The man gives in. Abandoning his attempts, he begins to lead an ordinary life.


He gradually integrates into society: work from 09:00 to 18:00, corporate events, vacation once a year and a bar on Fridays. The same as everyone else, surrounded by people, with interests that do not cause bewilderment or ridicule, and an alarm clock constantly set for 07:00. He is not lonely, but he is not happy either. It is impossible to enjoy life when your heart wants to scream. Screaming about unfulfilled hopes, unfulfilled dreams, beloved cacti thrown into the trash and sold books of Aristotle. But you need to remain silent, because this is not accepted, you need to be ashamed of your emotions and be like everyone else. This is how hatred, despair, and aggression are born.

At such moments, an understanding comes that there is nothing terrible either in loneliness, or in misunderstanding, or even in contempt. It’s better to be yourself (quotes from great people don’t lie) than to suffer all your life from the silent cry of abandoned aspirations and passions. And as Ralph Emerson said:

Remaining yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest achievement.

Be yourself: quotes from those who changed the world

A word of advice: to be yourself, you need to let go of the numbers and metrics. If you can only tell about a person when he was born, where he studied and who he worked for, then it is difficult to call him a person. As Quentin Crisp said:

Fashion is something you embrace when you don't know who you are.

Fashion changes - people change. The faceless human centipede enthusiastically swallows everything that the current trend offers. It’s difficult to say anything about such people: they are all the same. They differ only in names, professions and date of birth. The world will not even notice if one of these people disappears; another person will immediately take his place. Another thing is a self-sufficient person. People around you may not even know the name of such a person, but they will remember him for a long time. It just so happens that what goes beyond the norm is firmly ingrained in human memory.

If a person remained himself, those around him would know exactly what he did in the morning and evening, how he knew how (or not how) to tell jokes, and what he liked. Such a person cannot be described by metrics or numbers - they have no power over him. Therefore, as Judy Garland said:

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, not a second-rate version of someone else.

Those who have achieved something in life and written their name on the pages of world history have always said that you need to remain yourself. Under no circumstances should you give up yourself for the sake of society. Let there be many mistakes, let everything not go according to plan, let everything look strange, ridiculous and abnormal. Here's what they said:

I won't let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. (Mahatma Gandhi)

Wanting to be someone else is losing yourself. (attributed to Kurt Cobain)

Imperfection is beautiful, madness is brilliant, and it's better to be absolutely funny than absolutely boring. (Marilyn Monroe)

I feel that simplicity of life is being yourself. (Bobby Brown)

Your time is limited, don't waste it living someone else's life. (Steve Jobs)

I am the one who will have to die when his time comes. So let me live my life the way I want. (Jimmy Hendrix)

Be yourself - Quotes


God is in us. (Plato) Be yourself - calm, clear, bright. Ask yourself every minute if this is what you really want, and do it only when you hear an affirmative answer. This will drive away those with whom you will not learn anything about yourself, and will attract others from whom you should learn (R. Bach) Be yourself, and if after that people don’t like you, go to hell with them. (Taylor Momsen) A genius sleeps within each of us, but every day it grows stronger. There is sun in every person. Just let it shine. Your time is limited, don't waste it living another life. Don't get caught up in a creed that exists on other people's thinking. Don't let the views of others drown out your own inner voice. And it is very important to have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you really want to do. Everything else is secondary. (Steve Jobs) Great art is not to become great, but to become yourself! Greatness of soul should be a characteristic of all people. (Lucius Annaeus Seneca) Power over oneself is the highest power. (Lucius Annaeus Seneca) Master your passions - or they will master you. (Epictetus) Power over oneself is the highest power; enslaved by your passions is the most terrible slavery. (Lucius Annaeus Seneca) War always exists within you. (Shannon Leto) All people live and act partly according to their own thoughts, partly according to the thoughts of other people. One of the main differences between people is how much people live according to their own thoughts and how much according to the thoughts of other people. (Leo Tolstoy) All the answers are in you. You know more than what is written in the books. But to remember this, you need to read books, look within yourself, listen to yourself and trust yourself. Everything begins with yourself and ends with yourself, because EVERYTHING is you. (Dayaram) The whole point of human experience is to know who you are. You can become great filmmakers like me if you just try your best to resist any attempt to interfere with your work and remain yourself. (Stanley Kubrick) Yesterday I was smart, I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, and therefore I change myself. If someone in a battle defeated a thousand people a thousand times, and another defeated himself alone, then it is this other who is the greatest winner in the battle. (Buddha) If you have not understood your body, you cannot understand your soul. The method of investigation is the same, but start with the body, because the body is the visible part of the soul. Start with the visible and gradually move to the invisible. Start with the known and gradually move to the unknown. Start with the surface and gradually move to ) If you want to own everything, own yourself. If you don’t see love in others, it’s because you don’t have love in yourself. If you want to change the world, become that change yourself. (Mahatma Gandhi) If you are able to see beauty, it is only because you carry beauty within yourself. For the world is like a mirror in which everyone sees their own reflection. (P. Coelho) If you want to become an optimist and understand life, then stop believing what they say and write, but observe and delve into it. (Anton Chekhov) If you feel that it is yours, do not listen to those who will dissuade you. (Max Schupbach) Live by your wits, and grow your honor through hard work. (proverb) Life is not a search for oneself, but a creation. Build your soul temple. Why should you read other people's books when you have a book that is yourself? (J. Krishnamurti.) To know yourself is to know everything. This is the only thing I affirm, the only thing I teach. There is no need for any dogmas, no creeds, no religions. Through a simple process of inner study, you will come to full awareness of yourself. And as soon as you understand who you are, you will immediately know the innermost essence of existence, for you are a part of it. (Osho) And then I was suddenly struck by an insight - everyone has their own “duty,” but no one has one that he could choose, describe and perform as he pleases. It is wrong to desire new gods, it is absolutely wrong to want to give something to the world! There is no, no, no duty for awakened people, except one: to search for themselves, to strengthen themselves within themselves, to find their own path forward, wherever it may lead... This deeply shocked me, and this was the result of the experience for me. Before, I often played with images of the future, dreamed about the roles that could be prepared for me - a poet, maybe, or a prophet, or a magician, or someone else. It was all nonsense. I did not come into the world to write poetry, to preach, to paint pictures, neither I nor anyone else came into the world for this. Everything worked out only along the way. The true calling of everyone consists of only one thing - to come to oneself. Whatever he ultimately becomes - a poet, a madman or a prophet - it is none of his business and ultimately unimportant. His job is to find his own destiny, and not any other, and surrender to it internally, completely and unshakably. Everything else is half-heartedness, it’s an attempt to sneak away, it’s a retreat back into the ideals of the crowd, it’s opportunism and fear of one’s own essence. In all its horror and sacredness, this new picture arose before me, which I had guessed about more than once, which, perhaps, I had often already put into words, but which I really saw only now. I am a throw of nature, a throw into the unknown, maybe into something new, maybe into nowhere, and to make this throw from the abyss effective, to feel his will in myself and completely transform it into my own - only this is my calling. Only this! (Hermann Hesse <<Demian>>) The truth in us speaks - Be who you are, but do not be who you want to appear. When you become who you really are, you can be anyone... True Divinity can only be found within Yourself... Through Self-Love that pulsates in your heart. The temptation to destroy oneself and reject everything, not to be like anyone else, to destroy forever what defines us, to indulge in loneliness and non-existence, to find the only point of support where destinies can start over again every time. Temptation is constant. Should I give in to him or not? Is it possible to bring obsession with a work into the depths of an ebullient life, or is it necessary, on the contrary, to measure your life according to it, to submit to instant insights? Beauty is my main concern, as well as freedom. (Camus A) Truly powerful is he who conquers himself. True greatness lies in self-control. (Lafontaine) Every person will say bad things, no matter who you are. As long as you stay true to yourself, it's the coolest thing ever. That's the only thing I would preach. (Taylor Momsen) What a luxury it is to be who you are, without the eternal desire to get an excellent grade for it. Such is the honor. (proverb) Once a Stranger came to the Sage. The sage received him and asked:

-Man of the Way, what are you looking for? -True Teaching, Father. -You can go through many Paths, learn many Teachings, but they will all lead you to yourself... -What does this mean? -Imagine a circle and a point in the center of the circle. Many radii can be drawn to this point. These radii are roads. Whichever one you choose, no matter how far you walk, any one will lead to a point in the center of the circle. This point is you. Any teaching, if it has a heart, will lead you to an understanding of your nature, to an understanding of yourself. How many hearts - so many paths. And everyone who goes to the heart is true. Any teaching that can help you answer the question: What Am I? - worthy of your attention, for the nature of your heart is the Truth... (Amu Mom)

The ultimate goal lies within itself. (Miguel de Unamuno) He who reigns within himself and controls his passions, desires and fears is more than a king. (Milton John) The best way to find yourself is to stop serving other people. (Mahatma Gandhi) People are only the result of what they think about themselves or others. Many victories give rise to envy and malice, and the one who is defeated lives in anger and melancholy, while a true sage lives calmly, having renounced both victory and defeat. A wise person does not reject or accept any teachings; he trusts only himself and does not succumb to their influence. We see things not as they are. We see things as we are. (Anais Nin) Finding yourself is impossible, you can only create yourself... Don't believe anything, no matter where you read it, or who said it, even if I said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense . (Buddha Gautama) -Do not take anything for granted simply because of tradition, even though it has been highly revered by many generations and in various places...

- Do not believe anything on the basis of what many say about it... - Do not blindly worship the faith of the sages of the past... - Do not believe what you created in your imagination, convincing yourself that it is a divine revelation... - Do not believe anything only on the basis the authority of your mentors or confessors. - After research, believe only what you yourself have checked and found valid, and only then coordinate your behavior with it. (Buddha Shakyamuni)

Don't imitate others. Find yourself and be yourself. (Dale Carnegie) Don't let the noise of other people's opinions drown out your inner voice. I don’t care what they say about me... I don’t care what others think... What matters to me is what I know about myself... Everything else is just other people’s speculation...! Do not make yourself an idol. (Bible) Do not look for truth on earth... look for it in yourself... The ignorant is always preoccupied with property and therefore cannot belong to himself. (Buddha) Ignorance of self is the source of all problems and unhappiness. There is nothing more incomprehensible to a person than himself! Never worry about what people say/think about you! Send them all, at the end of the day the only opinion that matters is yours. (Shannon Leto) Never, ever, let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do. Prove the cynics wrong. It's their problem that they have no imagination. The only limit is the sky. Your sky. Your limit. (Tom Hiddleston) No one can give you better advice than yourself. (Cicero) Nothing adorns a person more than friendship with his own head. Never get annoyed. An important rule of prudence is to never lose your temper. Great self-control speaks of a big heart—a great soul is not easily moved. Passions are tumors of the spirit; their excess causes diseases of prudence, and if the disease comes out through the mouth, good reputation is in danger. So, know how to control yourself, so that neither in happiness nor in misfortune you will be condemned for intemperance, but you will be amazed at the height of the spirit. (Gracian y Morales) It is very easy to change others, it is much more difficult to change yourself. (Wilde O) Victory over by yourself is the only triumph in which luck has no share. (Sheridan R) Conquer yourself and you will win thousands of battles. He who conquers others is strong, and he who conquers himself is powerful. (Lao Tzu) Remember time is short. Don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't listen to anyone. The noise of other people's opinions should not drown out your inner voice. Listen only to your Heart and intuition. Somehow they know exactly who you should be and what to do. And everything else is not important, it’s just not important... (Steve Jobs) You find yourself in an environment where you can be yourself, you will feel yourself. The last war is about victory over yourself. It is excellent if we are able to govern ourselves. (Cicero) Empty pockets will never prevent us from becoming who we want to be. Only empty heads and empty hearts can prevent this. (Norman Peale) Travel as the greatest science and serious science helps us to find ourselves again. (Albert Camus) It used to be important to me how people would look at me. I think you need to look for the best role model that anyone can be, the main thing is to be yourself because that's the coolest thing that can be, and not to react to nasty things that are said about you because it shouldn't matter . (Taylor Momsen) I used to say, “I hope things change.” Then I realized that the only way for everything to change was for me to change. (Jim Rohn) The very first and most important thing in life is to try to control yourself. (Humboldt V) Self-control in a moment of anger is no less high and no less noble, like self-control in a moment of fear. (Smith A) Self-control, like all qualities , develops through exercise. Whoever wants to control passions in adulthood must learn this in his youth. (Spencer G) The most difficult path is the one on which you try to find yourself. Follow your heart, be honest with yourself, take risks and stay open to new things. (Shannon Leto) The ability to self-control is the main difference between man and beast. (Spencer G) Your vision of the world depends entirely on understanding yourself. You see the world only in those facets in which you see yourself. (Amu Mom) Your vision will become clear only if you can look into your heart. He who looks outside sees only dreams, he who looks within awakens. (Carl Gustav Jung) The crowd can forgive anything and anyone, but not a person who is able to remain himself under the pressure of its contemptuous ridicule. Only your own mind will help you choose the right true path, and neither your mother, nor your father, nor your loved ones can help you choose the eternal true path. Triumph over oneself is the crown of philosophy. (Diogenes) He who trusts only his own reason, and not someone else’s, is never able to believe in any slander, he is not able to waste hours on trifling disputes. He who persists in his madness will one day prove to be a sage.” (Al Pacino) You are what you do. You are your choice. The one you turn yourself into. (Johnny Depp) You have searched everywhere, but until you find your original “I”, you will not be able to know anything else. (Papaji) Have you ever counted how much of you you have in you? (Mr. Freeman) [] Each of us has only one true calling - to find the path to ourselves. (Herman Hesse) Every person has three characters: the one that is attributed to him, the one that he ascribes to himself, and, finally, the one that actually exists. (Victor Marie Hugo) We all have opportunities that we don't even know about. We are capable of doing things we cannot even dream of. But if you never make up your mind, you will never know your potential, your capabilities. (Dale Carnegie) Man is always the prey of the truths he professes. (Albert Camus) A person must learn to obey himself and obey his decisions. (Cicero) A person begins to live only when he manages to surpass himself. (Einstein) What good is it if a person tries to show us his majestic appearance when he is empty inside? The ability to courageously overcome oneself is what has always seemed to me one of the greatest achievements that a reasonable person can be proud of. (Beaumarchais P) Know how to control yourself, so that neither in happiness nor in misfortune you will be condemned for intemperance, but they will be amazed at the height of your spirit .(Gracian y Morales) Forrest, have you decided what you'll be when you grow up? Shouldn't I be myself? (movie Forrest Gump) I always believed that if someone doesn’t like who I am, then at least I remain myself. (Taylor Momsen) I'll give you good advice - don't listen to anyone's advice, including mine. Be yourself. Listen to your own voice. Any advice belongs to the past. Stay calm, don't think, don't make any effort. Truth is eternally Here. She simply Is... This is not a search, this is the cessation of distraction. Freedom is achieved only by liberation from ALL concepts!!! (Papaji) I humbled myself, standing at the throat of my own song. (Mayakovsky V. V.) I want you to stop looking for something outside of yourself and listen to what’s inside you. People are afraid of what's inside, and that's the only place where they can find what they need. (filmPeaceful Warrior) (Meaning of life) (Purpose of life) (Calling) Self-control []

Who is this?

To become yourself, you need to understand yourself. There are not so many quotes about this, but even among the existing ones, you can find those that will help you understand this issue. First of all, it is worth noting one statement from Jim Morrison. Although, this is rather a question that he once asked his interlocutor:

Where is your desire to be weird? (Jim Morrison)

As mentioned above, a self-sufficient person is always a person incomprehensible to others. This is exactly what we should strive for. The main thing is not to confuse virtuous strangeness with stupid follies with which a person is simply trying to attract attention to himself. The author of the statement meant those oddities that make a person happy, and do not turn him into a traveling entertainment event with deep depression behind the scenes.

If you choose the path of a soldier, you will become a general; if you want to be a monk, you will become a pope,” my mother told me. But I chose the path of an artist and became Picasso. (Pablo Picasso)

A quote about himself from a great artist may seem too arrogant to some, but there is one undeniable truth in it: if a person chooses his own path, he will definitely become himself.

And a few more statements about myself:

If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love anyone else? (RuPaul)

Even in early childhood, I acquired the vicious habit of considering myself different from everyone else and behaving differently from other mortals. As it turns out, this is a gold mine! (Salvador Dali)

I think all people are strange. We should celebrate our individuality, not be ashamed or embarrassed by it. (Johnny Depp)

I don’t have to be the way others want me to be, and I’m not afraid to be the way I would like to see myself. (Mohammed Ali)

I want to remain crazy, to live the way I dream, and not the way others want. (Paulo Coelho)

Maturity. The responsibility of being yourselfText

K.S. Lewis decided to divide love into two types: “need love” and “gift love.” Abraham Maslow also divides love into two types. He calls the first “love-lack”, the second “love-being”. This division is significant and needs to be understood. "Need-love" or "lack-love" depends on the other; this is immature love. In fact, this is not true love - it is a need. You use the other, you use the other as a means. You exploit, manipulate, subjugate him. But the other is humiliated, the other is almost destroyed. And the other one does exactly the same thing. He is trying to manipulate you, dominate you, own you, use you. To use a human being is very unloving. Therefore it only seems like love; this is a fake coin. But this is exactly what happens to almost ninety-nine percent of people, because the first lesson of love that you learn is in your childhood. The child is born; he depends on his mother. His love for his mother is “love-lack” - he needs his mother, he cannot survive without his mother. He loves his mother because his mother is his life. In fact, this is not really love - he will love any woman who will protect him, who will help him survive, who will satisfy his need. Mother is a kind of food that he eats. He receives from his mother not only milk, but also love - and this is also a need. Millions of people remain children all their lives; they never grow up. They grow in age, but never mature in mind; their psychology remains infantile and immature. They always need love, always crave it like food. A person becomes mature the moment he begins to love instead of needing. It begins to overflow, to divide; he begins to give. The emphasis is completely different. The first one focuses on how to get more. In the second, the emphasis is on how to give, how to give more and how to give unconditionally. This is growth, maturity is approaching you. A mature person gives. Only a mature person can give, because only a mature person has it. Then love is independent. Then you can be loving, regardless of whether the other loves you. Then love is not an attitude, it is a state. What happens when a flower blooms in the thicket of a forest, where there is no one to admire it, where no one passes by and says how beautiful it is, no one sees its beauty, its joy - not with whom to share - what is happening to the flower? He is dying? Is he suffering? Is he panicking? Committing suicide? It keeps on blooming, just keeps on blooming. It doesn't matter whether someone passes by or not; it doesn't matter. It continues to give off its scent to the winds. He continues to offer his joy to God, the whole. If I am alone, then even then I will be as loving as I was with you. It is not you who creates my love. If you created my love, then, naturally, when you were gone, my love wouldn’t be either. You do not extract love from me, I pour it out on you - this is love as a gift, love as being.

Create yourself

It seems that it could be simpler: if a person wants to be a self-sufficient person, he must make himself. Quotes speak precisely about this, because being under the influence of someone else’s opinion, a person forever remains a captive and weak-willed slave of conformity. As one singer said:

Your self-worth is determined only by you. You shouldn't depend on anyone telling you who you are. (Beyoncé)

By the way, she’s not the only one who thinks so:

Worry about what other people think of you, and you will forever remain their prisoner. (Lao Tzu)

Believe that you can fly, overcome your indecisiveness. (Kanye West)

Decide to be yourself - and know: the one who finds himself gets rid of his adversity. (Arnold Matthew)

You are free to be yourself, to be your true self here and now. And nothing can stop you. (Richard D. Bach)

There is a saying: “Saving drowning people is the work of the drowning people themselves.” Only a person can transform himself into a self-sufficient person. The only pity is that many people don’t even know what they are capable of. The man is surprisingly strong, even when it comes to fighting with himself, he can do anything, and willpower does not play a special role here.

What is important is not even the incentive or desire for high ideals, but the inner fire - the simple desire to be happy. That's the whole secret. What is happiness? This is self-realization, freedom of choice and the opportunity to do what a particular person wants, and not someone else.

Being yourself is

1. To be yourself is to take it as an axiom that “my shortcomings are not “my shortcomings”, but my cute features!”

Everywhere they write and say that in the art of being yourself, the most important thing is to accept yourself. Accept your flaws, love them, so to speak. At the same time, everyone understands that it is incredibly difficult to come to terms with your excess weight, bad teeth and crooked legs (as an option).

"What??? Should I love my puffy eyes? Lumps of fat hanging from your back?? The habit of blushing in front of everyone?? Nose potato size XXL?? You're kidding me!

However, the reality is that you are what you are and nothing else (K. Byron).

And we are all completely different from each other. And everyone has their own pros and cons, their own beauty and ugliness.

Recognize, ACCEPT your imperfections AS SWEET, INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERISTICS - that’s what it means to be yourself, first of all.

Being yourself means stopping running away from your feelings and stopping trying (often, successfully) to suppress them.

“No, I'm not upset. Now I’ll put on a smile, let all my colleagues see that I know how to be positive, at that moment when a cabinet with documents fell on me.”

“Well, no, how guilty am I? I don’t want to feel guilt, responsibility and split personality because I took a left turn. She forced me herself and paid little attention to me.”

“No, no, I’m not tired and it’s not hard for me! I will not listen to my feelings from within, which squeak there “stop, otherwise you will break.” I will pretend to be a cheerful, positive, cheerful friend.”

“Well, no, I’m not jealous. I'm not envious! How could such a thing even come to mind! I just… got sick to my stomach.”

Instead of running away and suppressing feelings, RECOGNIZE them, accept them.

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