Notes from an inadequate chief accountant: about vaccination and split personality
How accountants do not develop split personalities, I have little understanding. In the eyes of the employer, we are not only strange people shaking over pieces of paper, no. We also have the Tax Code, the Civil Code, and the Code of Administrative Offences.
And since the average employer does not have the opportunity to convey his point of view on these regulatory documents to the authors, he is indignant at the accountant. He proves something, gives undeniable arguments. Honey, how can I help you?
The Federal Tax Service and the Ministry of Finance were not enough for us; the accounting department is now also the mayor of the capital of our vast Motherland. At least I do.
I listen to employers with their philippics on the topic: “How should I force employees to get vaccinated?”
I listen to the angry cries of employees: The Labor Code says nothing about vaccinations!
I wipe away the tears of the deputy general: If I remove all those who have not been vaccinated, as Rospotrebnadzor demands, who will work?
I’m solving unsolvable questions: I have two employees, one has been vaccinated, the other is pregnant - how can I get 60%?
I sigh at: I’m quitting because I don’t want to get vaccinated!
BUKH.1S publishes notes from Lena Mikhaleva, the Moscow chief accountant, tortured by life and fiscal authorities.
I’ve been working as a chief accountant for a long time – it seems like people don’t live that long at all. I run 8 companies under different regimes and with different – very different – leaders.
Since in a past life I was engaged in natural sciences, the behavior and worldview of different people arouse my keen interest.
Among my directors, no two are alike.
One of them put all the accounting in my strong, courageous hands and relaxed – as long as I didn’t interfere with his work. The second, on the contrary, is trying to understand what I am doing, arguing with the Tax Code in the person of me, and is ready to tear my head off for every penny paid to the budget.
At the same time, when communicating with colleagues in the workshop, I understand that my wards, in comparison with their management, are generally chocolate-covered marshmallows.
I feel ashamed that I still dare to grumble. But it's hard to remain silent.
My notes are about our joys and problems, familiar to everyone who distinguishes debit from credit.
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Contractors who are government organizations are immensely pleased: they were given instructions from above to collect data from all suppliers and contractors.
And now they send me 2 signs in which I must indicate very intimate details from the lives of my employees. And I’m beginning to understand my employers even more, because I’m plowing into the counterparty’s accounting department, which is just like me, innocent of anything, and trying to figure out when I should provide them with data on my employees’ sick leave, compulsory medical insurance policy numbers and vaccination dates. And in general, we are not in the service sector!
— Yes
, - the counterparty’s accounting department sighs sadly.
– But you provide us with services?
So, treat it! Otherwise we will have to terminate the contract with you! The management will definitely not pat me on the head for this.
- But no one set such a task for us! I don’t even have anyone’s data!
“So we also just received the sign this night!”
Hug and cry... Or better yet, come to this nice woman with a bottle of cognac. Or with two.
And what is typical is that I very much understand the reluctance to get vaccinated among those who have just been ill and still feel very unsure of themselves in time and space. And I understand about medical outlets. I just don’t understand how to explain to the employer that medical allotments belong to 40%, and are not included in the required 60%.
I can even sympathize and stroke the thinning hair of a long-suffering business that also does this. But I'm an accountant, I can't do anything and I can't help. And I also cannot influence either the mayor of the capital or the reporting on vaccination. And business doesn’t understand this. I feel responsible for the sanitary doctor, the mayor of the capital, and even for the contagious, sick bat. And the chapel, I suppose, too.
The other side is no easier.
— You’ve been vaccinated, here’s your data, submit a report!
Praise be to the universe! I go to mos.ru. But not everything is so simple with mos.ru: an individual entrepreneur, who is also an individual, managed to register on this glorious site so that the site chases me in circles, not wanting to let me in even with an electronic signature. Tech support can't help because they can't help. We tried everything – SNILS, phone, email, maiden name of my second cousin on my stepfather’s side. Oh…
And when you finally manage to get through everything and submit this strange report, you remember that it’s actually a reporting period, VAT is just around the corner. And this same VAT seems so familiar, close and understandable that you want to kiss the tax return right on the barcode. Cute! I love you so much!
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My first personality is kind, sincere, sympathetic. The second appears when the first is abused. Statuses about personality
