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Aphorisms and quotes about banks

In a casino, the winner is the one who broke the bank, but in life, the winner is the one who robbed or led it. E. Sevrus

The bank on my street usually has two tellers - of course, if there are not many people. If there are a lot of people, only one works. Rita Rudner

The bank interest knows neither rest nor worship; it works at night, on Sunday, and even on rainy days. B. Shaw

Politics has its own invisible hand, which acts in the opposite direction to that in which the invisible hand of the market acts. (Milton Friedman)

A bank is a place where they will loan you money if you prove that you don’t need it. Bob Hope

A banker is a person who will lend you an umbrella when the weather is sunny and then pick it up when it starts to rain. Mark Twain

One poet said: “The first king was a happy warrior!” Regarding the founders of our current financial dynasties, we can perhaps say prosaically that the first banker was a happy swindler. Heinrich Heine

A central bank is a bank through which the state intervenes in the affairs of private banks and which, unlike them, can itself print the money it needs. K. Geppert and K. Pat

Middle age: when you dream that a banker says “yes” to you, not a girl.

A financier is a moneylender with imagination. Arthur Pinero

What is a bank robbery compared to starting a bank? Bertolt Brecht

Bankruptcies are a by-product of thriving banks. Edward Yokel

Since the beginning of time there have been three great inventions: fire, the wheel and central banking. Will Rogers

Rich people come and go, but the banks remain. Wendell Phillipe

Risk taking is the soul of commerce; caution (I almost said timidity) is the soul of banking. Walter Bajott

A bank is a place where you can keep government money until the tax department demands it back.

If you can set your own conditions for the bank, then its balance sheet is worse than yours. Law of balance

If I owe a million dollars, I'm screwed. But if I owe fifty billion, the bankers are screwed. Celso Ming

If the banker answers “yes” to a business proposal, it means “maybe”; if he answers “maybe,” it means “yes”; and if he answers “no” without hesitation, then he is a bad banker. Andre Kostolani

Preferred creditor: the first one to whom the bank informs that the money has run out.

The French do not like to trust their money to anyone other than the government and scammers. Etienne Rey

I would never trust a bank that is willing to give a loan to such a dubious client like me. Robert Benchley

Prostitution has always been, is and will be, just like, I hope, banking. Victor Gerashchenko

The only bank where you can invest all your savings is memories. This bank will never fail. Evgeniy Yevtushenko

In my opinion, banks are much more dangerous to our freedom than enemy armies. Thomas Jefferson

A banker is a person who will willingly give you a loan if you provide convincing evidence that you do not need it. Herbert W. Prochnow

A banker has no need for popularity. On the contrary, in a healthy capitalist society a good banker should probably be hated. J.K. Galbraith

If you want to know the value of money, borrow it. Benjamin Franklin

I was never able to convince financiers that Disneyland would be profitable because the dream had such a low collateral value. Walt Disney

Banks serving customers directly in machines were invented so that the machines could see who actually owned most of them. E. Joseph Kossman

The Book of Practical Wisdom, or How to Outwit the Law of Meanness (3 pages)

Michael Schiff

BALLET is opera for the deaf.

Emil Krotky

Ballet: an art whose popularity is due in no small part to the fact that married men can see here many women who do not utter a word for an entire evening.

Robin Goodfellow

A BANK is a place where they will loan you money if you prove that you don’t need it.

Bob Hope

A central bank is a bank through which the state intervenes in the affairs of private banks and which, unlike them, can itself print the money it needs.

K. Geppert and K. Pat

A BANKER is a person who lends you an umbrella when the weather is sunny and takes it back as soon as it starts to rain.

Mark Twain; according to other sources – Robert Frost

BANKRUPTCY is a legal procedure in which you put money in your trouser pocket and give your jacket to creditors.

Joey Adams

BANKRUPTS are a by-product of thriving banks.

Edward Yokel

BAR : a dimly lit room filled with dimly lit people.

American saying

BARDOT, BRIGITTE : French-made sex bomb; the first test took place in the late 50s; General designer - Roger Vadim. Nowadays it is used for peaceful purposes (animal protection).

Sylvia Cheese

BARITONE : transitional stage from tenor to man.

BARTENDER is a person who understands you better than your wife.

American proverb

Honest bartender : one who earns a little less than the owner of the establishment.

Robert Orben

BASTILLE - how many prisons were built from its bricks!

Kir Bulychev

BEVERLY HILLS : If you stay here long enough, you turn into a Mercedes.

Dustin Hoffman

JOGGING is an activity for people who are not developed enough to watch morning television.

Victoria Wood

Misfortunes never come alone. Sympathizers go with her.

Mikhail Mishin

POVERTY is not a vice, but this is the only thing that can be said in its favor.

Poverty is not a vice. If it were a vice, they would not be ashamed of it.

Jerome Jerome

Poverty is not a vice - if others do not see it.

POOR : The only category of people who think more about money than the rich.

Oscar Wilde

REFUGEES : people who vote with their feet.

IGODITY is the main of the great religions of the world.

Ambrose Bierce

Militant atheism is retribution for slave ideas about God.

Nikolay Berdyaev

THE GODLESS are believers who do not want to be them.

Stanislav Jerzy Lec

SINLESS : without the ability to sin.

Samuel Johnson

IMMORALITY is the morality of those who have a better time than we do.

Henry Louis Mencken

DISGRACE is one of the seven deadly sins.

Oscar Wilde

INDIFFERENCE is the mildest form of intolerance.

Karl Jaspers

“SIZE-FREE” : a label meaning that the item will not fit anyone.

"Glaser's Law"

BASEBALL : A children's game played by several dozen illiterate people.

Francis Scott Fitzgerald

Baseball is an American family joke that you can only understand once you become a member of the family.

Alexander Genis

BELADONNA : in Italy - a beautiful woman, in England - a deadly poison. A striking example of the deep similarity of two languages.

Ambrose Bierce

THE WHITE HOUSE is the most beautiful prison in the world.

Harry Truman

WHITE represents joy. At weddings, women wear white, men wear black.

John Auler

A THRUGGLE sleeps on a straw, which he does not see in his own eye, and drowns his apartment with a log, which he sees in someone else's eye.

Alphonse Allais

CONVERSATION is just an illusion. There are some interesting monologues, but that's all.

Rebecca West

A conversation is when three women stop on a corner to talk; gossip - when one of them leaves.

Herb Shriner

INSOMNIA is when you can’t sleep, even when it’s time to wake up.

Insomnia is when you can’t sleep even while on duty.

Insomnia is when you can't sleep even with the TV on.

Insomnia is a mockery of the night on a person.

Victor Hugo

BESTSELLER : A book that sells well because it sold well.

Daniel Boorstin

A bestseller is an excellent invention: you know which books you should buy, but you no longer need to read them.

Denny Kay

A SHAMELESS ARTIST is a subject who, pretending to be a seducer, lures a girl into his studio and paints her there.

Karl Kraus

INHUMANITY is the most characteristic sign of man.

Ambrose Bierce

DISHONEST people deceive others, honest people deceive themselves.

Leon Kruchkovsky

LIBRARY : A place where you can find everything you need if you can find someone who knows where it is.

Harry Martin

The public library is a place where you never find a bottle of cognac hidden behind books.

"Pshekruj"

A BIBLIOPHILE remembers what others consider it necessary to forget, and forgets what others consider it necessary to remember.

Charles Caleb Colton

A bibliophile has the same relationship to literature as a philatelist to geography.

Karl Kraus

The BIBLE is the creation of the Jews; this is no less obvious than the fact that the Jews themselves are a creation of the Bible.

Joseph Jacobs

The Bible is a cruel book. Perhaps the most brutal one ever written.

Georges Simenon

The Bible is much less puritanical than we are.

Adolf Rudnitsky

The Bible cannot be the work of the Almighty simply because in it He speaks too flatteringly about himself and too poorly about man. But maybe this just proves that He is its Author?

Christian Friedrich Goebbel

BIGAMY is a type of homeopathy. Wedge with wedge.

"Pshekruj"

Bigamy: some moderation compared to trigamy.

Yanina Ipohorskaya

Bigamy is having one more wife than necessary; monogamy is the same.

BUSINESS is the art of extracting money from someone else's pocket without resorting to violence.

Max Amsterdam

Business: gambling, looking down on the business called gambling.

Ambrose Bierce

A BUSINESSMAN is a person who knows how to atone for his sins with a profit.

Andrzej Stock

Cautious Businessman : A man who takes money from the stock market and goes to Las Vegas with it.

Robert Orben

A prosperous businessman is one who does not have a cent left after paying all taxes.

Manny Manheim

BIKINI : the subtle difference between “very little” and “nothing at all”.

Bikini: what's left of a woman's costume after an atomic explosion.

Gustav Sajdok

BIOGRAPHER : a liar who cleanses up his hero's lies.

Alexander Sventokhovsky, updated edition

STOCK SPECULANT - a person who studies the future and acts before it comes.

Bernard Baruch

A BATTLE is when a large force of whites kills several Indians. A massacre is when a large party of Indians kills several white people.

Unknown American

BIFOCALS are essential for reading during commercial breaks on television.

Leonard Louis Levinson

GRATITUDE is the digestion of a good deed; the process, generally speaking, is difficult.

Adrian Decourcel

BENEVOLUTION is an innate quality of every person; when A sees B in trouble, his conscience tells him to turn to B for help.

Stephen Leacock

ATHEISM is a synthesis of all religions.

Felix Rajczak

Atheism is thin ice, on which one person will walk, and an entire nation will fall into the abyss.

Francis Bacon

CERTIFICATE : a document certifying that its holder has been able to complete at least ten years of schooling.

Lawrence Peter

revised version

CERTIFICATION : See Inquisition.

APHORISM is a thought expressed by a foreign author.

Anton Ligov

An aphorism is a thought performing a pirouette.

Joris de Bruyn

Collection of aphorisms

– the cheapest sale of thoughts.

Gabriel Laub

APHORIST - a provider of Attic salt for other people's food.

Wieslaw Brudzinski

An aphorist is a person who rejoices like a child after coming up with a phrase that, in all likelihood, was an ancient folk proverb among the Phoenicians.

Wieslaw Brudzinski

ACHILLES would have remained immortal if his soul had not sank into his heels at times.

Victor Zhemchuzhnikov

BABA YAGA is a retired Russian sex symbol.

Tatiana Skobeleva

BALANCE SHEET is like a war report: the details are true, but the whole is false.

Michael Schiff

BALLET is opera for the deaf.

Emil Krotky

Ballet: an art whose popularity is due in no small part to the fact that married men can see here many women who do not utter a word for an entire evening.

Robin Goodfellow

A BANK is a place where they will loan you money if you prove that you don’t need it.

Bob Hope

central bank

is a bank through which the state intervenes in the affairs of private banks and which, unlike them, can itself print the money it needs.

K. Geppert and K. Pat

A BANKER is a person who lends you an umbrella when the weather is sunny and takes it back as soon as it starts to rain.

Mark Twain; according to other sources – Robert Frost

BANKRUPTCY is a legal procedure in which you put money in your trouser pocket and give your jacket to creditors.

Joey Adams

BANKRUPTS are a by-product of thriving banks.

Edward Yokel

BAR : a dimly lit room filled with dimly lit people.

American saying

BARDOT, BRIGITTE : French-made sex bomb; the first test took place in the late 50s; General designer - Roger Vadim. Nowadays it is used for peaceful purposes (animal protection).

Sylvia Cheese

BARITONE : transitional stage from tenor to man.

BARTENDER is a person who understands you better than your wife.

American proverb

Honest bartender

: someone who earns slightly less than the owner of the establishment.

Robert Orben

BASTILLE - how many prisons were built from its bricks!

Kir Bulychev

BEVERLY HILLS : If you stay here long enough, you turn into a Mercedes.

Dustin Hoffman

JOGGING is an activity for people who are not developed enough to watch morning television.

Victoria Wood

Misfortunes never come alone. Sympathizers go with her.

Mikhail Mishin

POVERTY is not a vice, but this is the only thing that can be said in its favor.

Poverty is not a vice. If it were a vice, they would not be ashamed of it.

Jerome Jerome

Poverty is not a vice - if others do not see it.

POOR : The only category of people who think more about money than the rich.

Oscar Wilde

REFUGEES : people who vote with their feet.

IGODITY is the main of the great religions of the world.

Ambrose Bierce

Militant godlessness

there is retribution for slave ideas about God.

Nikolay Berdyaev

THE GODLESS are believers who do not want to be them.

Stanislav Jerzy Lec

SINLESS : without the ability to sin.

Samuel Johnson

IMMORALITY is the morality of those who have a better time than we do.

Henry Louis Mencken

DISGRACE is one of the seven deadly sins.

Oscar Wilde

INDIFFERENCE is the mildest form of intolerance.

Karl Jaspers

“SIZE-FREE” : a label meaning that the item will not fit anyone.

"Glaser's Law"

BASEBALL : A children's game played by several dozen illiterate people.

Francis Scott Fitzgerald

Baseball is an American family joke that you can only understand once you become a member of the family.

Alexander Genis

BELADONNA : in Italy - a beautiful woman, in England - a deadly poison. A striking example of the deep similarity of two languages.

Ambrose Bierce

THE WHITE HOUSE is the most beautiful prison in the world.

Harry Truman

WHITE represents joy. At weddings, women wear white, men wear black.

John Auler

A THRUGGLE sleeps on a straw, which he does not see in his own eye, and drowns his apartment with a log, which he sees in someone else's eye.

Alphonse Allais

CONVERSATION is just an illusion. There are some interesting monologues, but that's all.

Rebecca West

Conversation

- this is when three women stop on the corner to talk;
gossip
- when one of them leaves.

Herb Shriner

INSOMNIA is when you can’t sleep, even when it’s time to wake up.

Insomnia is when you can’t sleep even while on duty.

Insomnia is when you can't sleep even with the TV on.

Insomnia is a mockery of the night on a person.

Victor Hugo

BESTSELLER : A book that sells well because it sold well.

Daniel Boorstin

A bestseller is an excellent invention: you know which books you should buy, but you no longer need to read them.

Denny Kay

A SHAMELESS ARTIST is a subject who, pretending to be a seducer, lures a girl into his studio and paints her there.

Karl Kraus

INHUMANITY is the most characteristic sign of man.

Ambrose Bierce

DISHONORABLE people deceive others, honest

deceive themselves.

Leon Kruchkovsky

LIBRARY : A place where you can find everything you need if you can find someone who knows where it is.

Harry Martin

Public library

– a place where you never happen to find a bottle of cognac hidden behind books.

"Pshekruj"

A BIBLIOPHILE remembers what others consider it necessary to forget, and forgets what others consider it necessary to remember.

Charles Caleb Colton

A bibliophile has the same relationship to literature as a philatelist to geography.

Karl Kraus

The BIBLE is the creation of the Jews; this is no less obvious than the fact that the Jews themselves are a creation of the Bible.

Joseph Jacobs

The Bible is a cruel book. Perhaps the most brutal one ever written.

Georges Simenon

The Bible is much less puritanical than we are.

Adolf Rudnitsky

The Bible cannot be the work of the Almighty simply because in it He speaks too flatteringly about himself and too poorly about man. But maybe this just proves that He is its Author?