What to do when fear of mistakes interferes with professional development

“It’s stupid to be afraid” - the famous phrase from the movie “Knocking on Heaven’s Door” is not supported by statistics. For example, in the US, 75% of companies close in the first 10 years, one of the reasons, according to experts, is the fear of failure by business owners.

A recent survey of working Russian residents also showed that fear of mistakes drives people into stress and causes a persistent dislike for work. We decided to discuss this topic in more detail with the head of the Center for Positive Psychology “Fonar” Vadim Samylin.

Fear is an innate emotion

Fear is a normal, typical human emotion. In everyday life it works as a function of self-preservation and, after anxiety, it is the only thing that allows us to survive, develop technological solutions and expand our circle of acquaintances.

The source of this emotion is the basic human need for security. Consequently, the risk of obstacles to the fulfillment of this need is a threat, but an error is the main “building block”. The more bricks there are, the more a person feels unfulfilled, unfulfilled, which leads to social isolation.

You have probably met among your colleagues or acquaintances those who are condescendingly called “quiet people.” The person does not show initiative, does not express ideas, does not feel identity with the company and team, does not participate in corporate movements and seems to be satisfied with everything. In most cases, such characters are simply afraid of seeming inappropriate, stupid, and unprofessional. But it is possible and necessary to fight this.

Characteristic signs

The fear of making a mistake is quite reasonable when faced with something previously unknown. And, if, in spite of everything, we step over ourselves and move on, then this is normal. If fear constrains us, then we stand still, and at the same time we earn stress and nervous shock.

A person may not even notice that he has such a phobia. The following signs may indicate that the fear of error has already conquered you:

• reluctance to make changes in life;
• avoiding tasks that have not been dealt with before;
• presence of unfinished business;
• the desire to do only what one is good at;
• fear of participating in public events, fear of failure;
• self-sabotage;
• lack of desire to strive to make new achievements;
• lack of self-confidence;
• desire to be the best.

Before committing any action, which may be followed by an error, in addition to psychological manifestations, physiological manifestations may also be observed:

• tachycardia;
• pain in the heart area;
• labored breathing;
• burning sensation in the chest;
• nausea;
• shortness of breath;
• muscle spasms;
• possible diarrhea;
• stiffness or, conversely, increased excitability is observed;
• throws you into the cold, then into the heat, chills are possible;
• the appearance of hallucinations, in particular auditory ones, is possible.

How to overcome the fear of mistakes yourself

Give yourself room for error

Psychologist's advice: any mistake is an experience, a step for growth. And in order to jump, you have to sit down. You can’t know everything at once, so don’t be harsh on your own mistakes, learn! Once you falter, another time raise your leg higher.

Manager's advice: when the PR department appeared at Infomaximum, we set a goal to hire generalists. Promoting highly intelligent IT solutions is not an easy task, and during the period of scaling, we had to simultaneously cover the direction and work on forming the company’s internal policy. Therefore, two people with experience in PR-related industries started work from scratch.

Were you afraid? Yes. At first, we coordinated every step, every comma and phone call with the editors. Were you wrong? Yes. A huge flow of information about products that needs to be digested, planning meetings, meetings, working with the team and external communications.

The errors were not critical, but they confused the employees. The support of managers who also stumbled at the beginning of their careers and developed professional wisdom and acumen is very important here.

What helped: a delicate analysis of mistakes in the format of sharing experiences. Assistance in building a promotion model and drawing up a plan. It is also important to praise successes. It motivates. Now the department operates as usual, initiates charity events, internal corporate movements, work with the media and cooperation with universities.

Don't do what you don't know how to do

Psychologist's advice: knowing your limits of competence is an important thing in developing a healthy attitude towards mistakes and accepting them. In other words, don't take on too much if you don't have enough knowledge.

Be able to say that you are not ready and you need help. Or first improve your skill, and then show your class. Start by solving new but easy problems, this is important for a positive experience. Make a plan and move towards your goal step by step.

Manager's tip: We are not born with a knowledge base, so don't be afraid to make mistakes. I think I was born a programmer. I wrote my first working code while still at school, but I had to learn how to become a manager, strategist, and businessman. Before it was possible to bring a commercially successful product to the market, there were three less successful projects that had to be closed. All due to lack of knowledge and experience.

The main thing here is not to give up and be ready to replenish your knowledge base daily, hourly. Remember a simple formula: mistake = experience = step up.

Know the enemy by sight

Psychologist's advice: play as a writer, scientist, researcher. Take a piece of paper and write down everything about your mistake. How did it happen, under what circumstances, what preceded it? After that, analyze what you have written and try to structure it.

This is necessary in order to learn how to analyze critical situations, think practically and avoid repeating the scenario.

Manager's advice: Admitting your mistakes is difficult. But it's important. Every closed IT project is a lesson for me. I remember how they created and released a project planning system, it seemed that it would take off and everyone needed it. It seems that there were already books about Customer Development, but self-confidence at that moment was stronger than common sense. The project had to be closed. We underestimated our competitors and started promotion and marketing late. Subsequently, they took into account their own “jambs” and were fully armed for the next release, which allowed them to emerge from the shadows and win over their audience.

Work with self-esteem

Psychologist's advice: it's about self-efficacy and self-confidence. As soon as you accept yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses, it will be much easier to do something new. You can’t influence the fact that your foot size is 45, but would like to be 38. Therefore, if you can’t do something now, change and learn. But if a step towards something new is perceived as violence against the individual, calm down and do what you know how. Have you heard the stories that mom and dad forced you to enroll in mathematics, and the child turned out to be a brilliant artist? This is how it works, accept yourself.

Manager's advice: we had a moment when several vacancies were open at once: tester, PHP developer and assistant project manager. A very young girl came for an interview and, surprisingly, she fits all the vacant positions based on her range of knowledge and skills. And most importantly, she herself could not answer the question: what is her calling?

For any employer, a one-man band is a valuable personnel who can take over directions in case of emergency, but for me it was important to create comfortable conditions. So that a person can develop in a specific direction and become an ace. Therefore, we tested the knowledge and recommended that you become an assistant project manager. The girl listened, learned the basics, is now working successfully and, most importantly, she likes it. But if there is no one to guide you, think for yourself, in which area can you express yourself to a greater extent?

Avoid the God Syndrome

Psychologist's advice: understanding that the world around us is not at all the way we imagine it will help us navigate its uncertainty and more sensibly understand that “the map is not the territory” (A. Korzybski).

Anything can happen, regardless of your expectations, actions or reactions. Even if there was a plan, you never know what could disrupt it. You just have to accept this fact.

Manager's advice: in practice, it works like this - come to the meeting prepared, theoretically work out all possible objections, rehearse your speech, even choose a tie to match the color of your suit. But the meeting was canceled and a new one was not scheduled. What to do? Accept the fact, be more patient, get used to the idea that there are circumstances in life that cannot be planned. Like a flight being canceled due to weather conditions or a car breaking down on the way to the railway station.

Ask for help

Advice from a psychologist: from colleagues, friends, specialists in the field where you work. First of all, they don’t take money for asking. And you will also be praised for your desire to learn the material and improve your skills.

Manager’s advice: sometimes it’s really difficult to overcome the threshold of embarrassment and ask a question. Therefore, Infomaximum has developed a mentoring system. It implies a smooth integration into the team. Everyone who has just crossed the threshold of the office has a mentor. For what? For questions, not only about the “inner kitchen”, but also about professional activities. We have a knowledge base in Confluence, where all the information about products, competitors, and market research is located. And all team members are open to communication, there is no other way. Therefore, I advise you not to be shy, because the one who studies becomes a specialist.

In addition, you should not ignore online trainings and communication with professionals in the field where you want to develop or are already working. Communication motivates and removes blocks. And if the fear of mistakes hinders not only development in the professional sphere, but also reduces the quality of everyday life, it is better to consult a psychologist.

Adviсe

Most fears are imposed on a person by public opinion. All people are interconnected. We have to live in society. It is he who creates the fear of error.

Opinions will always be divided. There is no one right solution. Each member of society has his own thoughts and views on life. Where does the fear of taking the wrong step come from? Why shouldn't you avoid failure? Simply because it is part of the life cycle. We must strive to live consciously, even if something goes wrong. Mistakes do not deserve as much attention and importance as the person himself gives them. It is worth understanding that failures happen, no one is immune from this.

It happens that an individual is convinced that a mistake is fatal. This is usually done deliberately in order to quickly get ahead of the opponent in a competitive environment. Sometimes they humiliate other people in this way, driving them into certain limits. Each person has the right to determine how to relate to their erroneous actions. Everyone has freedom of opinion and choice. An individual can believe in what society imposes on him, or he can adhere to his own beliefs. It depends on this whether fears will be fully realized, whether they will be fatal, or whether it is a small, correctable mistake.

How to get the maximum

1. It’s normal to be afraid of mistakes, learn not to scold yourself for mistakes and accept them as a stepping stone to success.
2. Choose a job you like! History knows many examples of people giving up good jobs for big money to raise cows, for example. Therefore, choose a direction in which you are really interested in developing. Then mistakes will be perceived as a learning phase.
3. Objectively assess your capabilities. It’s like with a story about a bicycle - don’t you know how? Learn. And there is no guarantee that you will be able to avoid hurtful falls in the process. To develop, you need to understand what other skills are missing to achieve professional happiness.
4. Fix errors and sort them out. Keep a diary, blog, write and look for answers to the questions: what caused the failure? If there were several of them, what united them? And then rule out every factor and be patient.
5. Accept yourself, respect your knowledge and skills. In IT, medicine, pedagogy and other professions, you must constantly keep your finger on the pulse and learn. You can't know everything all the time. Don’t belittle your existing skills, they are the basis for growth.
6. Don't be shy to ask for help. There are more people who are adequate and ready to share knowledge than those who will ignore the request. Communicate with professionals online, look for thematic public pages, be bolder.
7. Remember that there are situations that are beyond your control. If you have done everything on your part, but force majeure circumstances intervene, do not panic. It will not change anything. Have a plan B for the future.

And never give up. Fortune favors the brave.

Causes

The fear of making a mistake begins in childhood.
The fear of making a mistake begins to form in childhood. This is where it takes its origins, like most phobias. This could be the culprit:

• criticism from parents over poorly done homework, ugly handwriting, unsuccessful paintings or crafts;
• receiving severe punishment for an offense;
• lack of approval when wanting to do something new;
• publicly experienced failure;
• ridiculing mistakes made in a group of children;
• The school assessment system provokes the child to be afraid of making mistakes and getting a bad grade. What’s interesting is that more often than not, it is the C students who achieve great success in life, thanks to the fact that they are accustomed to failure, while the excellent students worry all the time about a possible mistake in their actions and remain indecisive.

Parents, through their actions, unconsciously plant in the toddler’s subconscious the fear of possible failures and failures. This is why a mature person is afraid to take on something where there is no guarantee of success. With their thoughtless words, parents can achieve a neglected state in which the child develops obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.

"Nothing bad happened"

You repeat the same mistake over and over until it becomes a pattern of behavior. In other words, you make an excuse for your mistake or say, “It’s no big deal.” This usually causes hostility towards the partner. Gradually, this behavior moves into the mode of defense, denial, or acquires offensive dynamics.

It will take time to rethink and soften your old beliefs about mistakes, but it is entirely possible and worth it.

Stage 4. Prevention measures

Now the most important thing: we must understand how to prevent these mistakes from happening again. At this stage, you need to come up with your own preventive measures for each error. These are usually either rules that must be followed or tasks that must be completed. For example:

This stage is the “heart” of our technology. Each such rule and each task is something that helps us change our lives for the better. Even if the changes themselves seem very small, over time they will accumulate and produce amazing results.

How to develop preventive measures? First of all, you need to look at the “Causes” section: this is where the “root of the problem” is usually hidden. If we eliminate the cause of the error, then the error itself disappears.

For example, I overslept for work. There are two reasons for this trouble: I went to bed late, and in the morning I didn’t hear the alarm on my smartphone. Now I will have one new rule and one regular task:

1. Go to bed no later than 23-00.
2. Set two alarms on your smartphone at once with an interval of 5 minutes.

As you already understood, several rules and tasks can be created for one error at once.

Improvisation

One of the main rules of improvisation can be formulated as follows: “No mistakes, only maximum information.” For example, if you start a monologue on stage, considering yourself a male character, and your partner calls you grandma, this is not a mistake. You just need to use it. You can say: “I look much more masculine after beard implantation, don’t I?”

In fact, these mistakes are precious nuggets that force improvisers to delve into spontaneous co-creation. It is important that both partners are positive, open and say yes to their partner, turning the mistake into a theatrical performance.

Relational psychotherapy

Instead of seeing clinical errors or failures and dwelling on them, psychotherapists recommend paying attention to ruptures and repairs. Breaks are negative shifts or difficulties in the therapeutic alliance. This could be anything from confusion with the client’s name to insulting him with an incorrect question.

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Research shows that the most important relationships are full of breakups. The process of breaking and repairing leads to greater vitality and growth. All three disciplines lead to the same conclusion:

1. Without mistakes there is no learning.
2. No mistakes - no growth.
3. No mistakes - no genuine relationships.