Self-confidence depends greatly on your mood
All people experience mood swings for a variety of reasons:
- negative incidents that cannot be interpreted in a positive way,
- disease,
- mood disturbances associated with hormonal cycles,
- just a long period without sun...
We are not machines for producing positivity and faith. We all have down moments. And if at the peak of the wave we relied on faith in ourselves and a good future, then at the lowest point everything will begin to fall apart. After all, since I can’t believe in myself, that means I’m not capable of anything? If the world can be so cruel, it means there is no chance for anything to improve. Now you are trapped!
How to get out of it? Realize that life is different, and if there are ups, there will be downs. You are not superman and should not always be positive and in a position of strength. And you can change your life for the better at any time, even when you don’t have the strength.
To do this, at the moment of recovery, you need to engage in self-knowledge and instill useful habits that bring you closer to your goal. Believing in yourself and a bright future helps a lot with this. And in moments of decline, you can simply maintain these habits as much as you can. Do not do exercises for half an hour, but 5 minutes. But do it anyway! Not to clean the whole house until it shines, but just to wash your plate after dinner. Treat yourself at the moment of loss of strength with respect and care. But do not indulge laziness and apathy.
Why is it so important to do everything in difficult moments in life that you are used to doing in good times:
1. You don’t lose skills, which means you won’t have to restore them again when your strength returns.
2. By doing the things you need to do to feel good, you can cope with stress more easily. Your body needs exercise, good nutrition, good sleep and other components of a healthy lifestyle in any condition.
3. Habitual activities allow you to maintain a sense of control over life, the understanding that this is just a difficult period, but you will cope with it.
4. The opportunity to do at least something for yourself, your health and well-being, will strengthen your self-esteem and make it clear that you can cope with any troubles.
Like tends to attract like.
To verify the veracity of this statement, just look at your parents, close friends or significant other. There may be people nearby who have similarities in appearance, character, etc. Therefore, you should not waste time looking for an ideal or remaking someone. You should pay attention to yourself and engage in self-improvement. And soon similar people will be attracted to you. There is no doubt about this.
Can you call yourself a happy person?
It's hard to believe without real results
Self-confidence must be fueled by something. It is best when it is fueled by good results. But, alas, not all of us are given mega-abilities in all areas. For example, I was born with a condition that should have made me a wheelchair user. Fortunately, my mother, with her incredible perseverance, was able to find a way to cure me. However, my natural activities were disrupted as a child and this affected me greatly. I grew up thinking that physical education was not for me, that only fools play sports. This is the kind of protection my brain had so as not to suffer from the fact that I was much inferior to my peers in physical development. But in fact, I only had psychological trauma, and physically I was completely healthy, and if I had put in enough effort, I would have been no different from my peers.
I only began to realize this when I was 20 years old, gradually trying to diversify my physical activity. And this was very difficult for me, since there were no usual mechanisms for enjoying physical activity. I didn’t believe in myself at all; there was nothing in my life that could give me this faith. But I understood that at the age of 20 I could only afford to walk and sit at work. And with age, my body will begin to suffer from the fact that it does not receive enough varied loads. And I just started methodically doing something. A few months in the gym, a few months of exercise, a few months of stretching. I showed my body different loads, tried to find at least something pleasant in them. And by the age of 30, I could already do many exercises with pleasure. Now I don’t spend a day without exercising and stretching, I walk a lot, and am willing to do hard physical work around the house and garden. If I had tried to rely on faith, I would definitely have given up on it all, because it was completely unpleasant for me to do the exercises, and my psychological complexes were superimposed on it. I was just suffering. But again, small steps helped me. Year after year, I taught my body and brain to love physical education. And now I can already count on the fact that, if I wish, I can accustom myself to any activity, even if I have no basis for this belief in the past.
So if you understand that you are missing something in your life, but your whole past says that you are not capable of it, it is much more effective to rely not on faith, but on calm self-discipline. Don’t berate yourself for what didn’t work out, but encourage yourself for being regular. The best illustration of this idea is a cool cartoon:
Believe in yourself if it helps you. But don't forget about small steps that work regardless of faith.
About yourself, or Believe in the best
I was born in the Urals, in a small town in the Sverdlovsk region. The fact that I was born in a harsh winter probably became decisive in my life. Since childhood, I have been very stubborn and overly independent. According to my mother, from birth, in terms of my upbringing, I “didn’t cause her any trouble.” I could occupy myself with games, drawings, and other activities that were important in my childhood view. For example, walking on saucers barefoot or filling your nostrils with lingonberries. Until I was 3 years old, I was not sick with anything. But in kindergarten, an infection was introduced into my blood - the Australian antigen, popularly known as jaundice. And away we go..."Valya, Valentina, what's wrong with you now? White chamber, painted door..."
Poor mom. She fought for me like a tigress. In the early eighties, doctors were very afraid of hepatitis, since this disease was completely unknown to them at that time. I must say that my appendicitis worsened, and it had to be removed. The doctors were not afraid that I needed to operate, they were afraid to come into my room. I remember how they “rolled” porridge for me without entering the room, and then asked me, a three-year-old child, to roll the gurney out of the room. I remember how my mother, in order to somehow cheer me up, brought inflatable balls to my room. And after the operation (removal of appendicitis), thin and pale, with a bandaged stomach, I quietly walk around the ward for a ball... Satisfied and happy. Only my mother, looking at me, cried all the time.
And then I was sent on foot from the surgical department to the infectious diseases department. This was the last straw of both patience and mother’s tears. She took me home. They told her: “She will die in your house, you will not be able to care for her.” Etc. Mommy was leaving me. She treated me with everything, even fed me my own lice. As my mother said, “thin, pale little guys” that I picked up in the hospital. She caught them, and then put them in bread and gave them to me to eat. Moreover, she told me this recipe for “traditional medicine” only when I became an adult. Apparently she was afraid of being misunderstood.
So I grew up without chocolate, spicy, salty, and various other goodies, since my mother strictly followed a diet. I was limited in physical education - this was unacceptable to me. There was no stopping me; my mother even hid my sports uniform from me. But that didn’t stop me either. And at the age of 11, secretly from my mother, I signed up for the athletics section.
The coach was skeptical at first, because I was late for the first training session (I was still in art school), and I also came in jeans (my mother once again hid my uniform), but then everything worked out. I was involved in sports before entering college. During this time, I traveled all over Russia, was a prize-winner at Russian championships, met my first love, finished school well, and finally entered college.
I graduated from law school and worked at the Department of Internal Affairs, first as an inspector for offenses in the consumer market, and then in the department for combating economic crimes. I am currently on maternity leave. I left my position as head of the BEP department on maternity leave. I have the rank of major, and at the end of the year I will receive the rank of lieutenant colonel.
I have a wonderful husband and son, I love them very much. I love my family very much - my mother, younger sister and brother, I love my father. I have many friends with whom we have been friends for more than 20 years. I'm proud of what I've achieved and I'm not going to stop there. I have never thought about the disease in 30 years and have always believed only in the best. I wish everyone to look for only positive aspects in life, to be optimistic and romantic. And never stop there. My motto is: “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.”
To humanity
Sometimes it's hard to believe in humanity. Many people are losing faith in humanity due to the negative impact we as a species have on this planet.
But humanity is not lost. There is much that we can be proud of and be grateful for.
We have our flaws and make our share of mistakes, but we also do some great things. The world is full of good people.
Therefore you must have faith in humanity. You are part of this, after all.
Reasons for losing a positive outlook
Analyze what in your life is not going the way you would like.
To do this, take a sheet of paper and a pen, draw it into two halves. On the right, write down everything that you want to achieve, on the left - everything that you have at the moment. Compare desired and actual results. For each of them, ask yourself questions: what did you do to ensure that this goal was realized? Is it your fault that the problem was never solved? What else can you do to make your dream come true? Is this dream real? Do you really need it? Sometimes it is much easier to give up some mercantile desires than to try, straining with all your might, to realize them. Set realistic goals for yourself and achieve them. Map out an action plan for yourself that you will implement to become a happy person. Believe that everything will definitely work out for you.
Into self-knowledge
You can get to know yourself better and better every day. You can discover who you are and what your values are. You can let these things guide your actions and life in general.
You may think that your self is somehow hidden beneath the surface of your consciousness, but it is not. It takes a bit of self-reflection and exploration to uncover this self and understand it.
- 4 Real Ways to Discover Your True Self
- 8 Benefits of Defining Your Values
In its development
You have an incredible ability to grow as a person and learn new things. But you must believe in this ability to be able to use it.
With study and practice, you can learn most things. You can develop your skills, improve your knowledge and transform your life in the process.
Training is open to everyone, regardless of age, so don't think for a second that it stops the moment you graduate.
