What do you think is the most important thing in a person's life? Some will say money, some will say career, work, some will remember friends. Yes, this is all important. But without a reliable “rear”, all of the above becomes a rather shaky structure. After all, if you lose your job and are temporarily left without a livelihood, who will you turn to for help? Tell your friends to help. Maybe. What if they don’t have such an opportunity, or the cat has slipped between you? And here we all remember our relatives and family. After all, family relationships are the most important relationships for a person. It is the family that is his hope and support in any life situations.
For everyone, family is the most important thing in life.
For most people, family and family relationships are a priority in life. First, the closest thing to a person is the family in which he was born and raised. And later, a new family created by the person himself acquires great importance.
But there are also people for whom family is much less important. Their work and career come first, to which they devote all their time and energy. These are careerists for whom the main thing is to achieve the highest possible positions. They are in no hurry to get married and start families. And if I do this, it is more for reasons of prestige.
There is also the exact opposite option for careerists - wasters. There is nothing valuable for them, neither in the family nor in the career. They are only attracted to entertainment. They live for one day and do not think about the future.
Why start a family and who better not to do it?
The question “How to start a family?” Usually asked by people who do not have a life partner, are looking for new acquaintances and dream of finding love. In some cases, one of the partners (usually a man) may not be ready for a serious family relationship
When both people in a couple love and respect each other, have similar views and priorities, the question of how to start a family does not arise. You can think seriously about marriage and children only after you meet a suitable partner. Psychologists do not advise making creating a family the meaning and purpose of life, since in this case a person becomes obsessed with the idea, which usually does not lead to anything good.
The most common reasons why people start families:
- they do “like everyone else,” even if in fact they didn’t really strive for it
- get married or marry for love, plan to continue the family line in the near future
- form a union due to pregnancy
- agree to a loveless marriage, afraid of missing the “last chance” and not meeting anyone else
- out of convenience or because it is more profitable to live together
Since times, life, society and norms have changed a lot and continue to transform, a modern person in a secular state is free to choose with whom to live and whether this relationship should be formalized in the registry office.
An adult who knows his desires and needs and understands himself as an individual will not succumb to the influence of others, but will listen only to his inner voice.
Is a family obligatory for an adult?
Why start a family? There are several common reasons why living with a partner and children seems more profitable and safer to many:
- people are simply afraid and cannot remain alone for long
- they want to have support in life, they make the family their “fortress”, fencing themselves off from the rest of the world
- see the goal in raising children and procreation in order to leave something behind
- they want to have some kind of safety net, to create a family similar to their parents’, where you will always be accepted, forgiven and understood no matter what (most often men do this, while they continue to have their own separate personal life, and perceive the family as a given, a necessity and in in some cases status).
Who better not to start a family?
Typically, psychologists advise not to rush into starting a family for people who:
- too young, recently graduated from school
- do not have their own income, continue to receive education, are unable to support themselves and their family, are financially dependent on their parents or partner
- not sure of their own feelings for the chosen one
- too busy with work or constantly traveling, and the partner is dissatisfied with this lifestyle
- are not yet ready to start a family and are under pressure from relatives who are rushing to get married and have children.
Many women and men, having created a family under the pressure of circumstances or other people, soon begin to regret, get tired and disappointed, but are forced to continue living in unlove because of children, housing, fear, etc.
Only by truly meeting your person, close in spirit, thinking and goals, can you create a truly strong union. In this case, questions like “Is it worth starting a family and children, at what age should I do this?” don't even arise.
“It’s good for me and alone”
Sometimes even adults, accomplished and intelligent people who seem to be happy with their lonely bachelor life, under the influence of their environment, begin to doubt their own normality. Parents are perplexed why their daughter or son does not want to start a family, not realizing that with such questions and persistence they are making their child’s life worse. Family friends, friends and colleagues are gradually moving away, there are fewer common interests, and a person begins to doubt: maybe by a certain age it is really necessary to have a family and children?..
A single adult in our society is still looked at with distrust: they begin to suspect him of being gay, having some kind of illness, mental disorder, or having a disgusting, quarrelsome character. Such people are attributed to a riotous lifestyle or reclusiveness, accused of selfishness, furtively laugh at them and feel sorry for them.
A person who is truly happy, who has found his purpose, knows how to enjoy life, cannot be inferior just because of the absence of a family. It is important to always listen to your inner voice. If a man or woman is really uncomfortable with loneliness and wants to find his soulmate, this is a reason to think. But if a person lives a full life without having a family, and this does not bring him problems or worries, he should not look at the opinions of other (even close) people and change to please their views and desires.
Foundation of the family
If you look at the history of mankind, you can see that at all times and in almost all nations, family has been the main value. Moreover, it was not based on the physical or psychological attraction of a man and a woman to each other. Its foundation was the economic component. After all, it is very difficult to live alone. And living together, it was much easier for people to create a life, get food and raise good offspring.
Large families have always commanded the respect of society. And single people who deny the value of family and refuse to get married caused a negative attitude.
What does this word mean?
A strong family union is not just a unit of the public, but a small state with its own laws and values. It is the most valuable thing in the life of every person.
A family is a place where everyone is born, raised, acquires skills, learns traditions and values, receives an education, acquires virtue, humanity, and politeness. Our parents help us through all these stages. They play the most important role in our lives. Brothers and sisters also influence our self-realization. If they are older, we feel protected; they help us better understand how the world around us works and how to behave in order to build a constructive dialogue with people.
Younger brothers and sisters give rise to sincere feelings in us, guided by which we begin to show care, guardianship, kindness, help, compassion and warmth. Such a word carries great meaning in the soul of everyone.
Modern attitude towards family.
The hard times are over. And in our 21st century, the economic component of the family has faded into the background. Today it is much easier for a person to live alone and raise a child. On the one hand, this is good. But this state of affairs reduces people's motivation to start families. As a result, new “non-traditional” forms of cohabitation are emerging.
I don’t want to affect anyone’s interests right now. Of course, such “families” have a right to exist. But how “real” are they?
To raise a child properly, you need a traditional family. And people should be together, despite all life's difficulties. Loneliness for a person is not right.
Of course, marriage is not that simple. We must constantly work on ourselves and be responsible not only for ourselves, but also for our family members, to help them overcome difficulties. But, as they say: “a trouble divided in half becomes half as big.” And joy multiplied by two increases twice.”
In addition, when you do something together and achieve some success, your joint development occurs and the spiritual connection between family members is strengthened.
History of the concept
According to scientists, initially wild people, descended from monkeys, lived in communities. The instinct of procreation prompted men (males) to fight among themselves for the right to own a woman (female), i.e. for having sexual relations with her. The latter allowed only the strongest and most active ones near them in order to have healthy offspring.
Mental evolution allowed men to understand that if they bring a “mammoth” to their chosen one and protect her from wild animals, then they can become her permanent partner. And while others were measuring their strength, the most cunning were hunting.
Women also changed their priorities: a permanent partner provided stability, protection, food, shelter and protection in return for her favor. This is how the first families began to appear, which over time changed their appearance and organization, acquired new conditions of existence, and internal responsibilities.
The meaning of the family circle
No matter how fate mocks you, no matter what problems you have, you can always turn to your loved ones for support. They will share with you all the hardships and defeats.
Psychologist Daria Milai
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A family environment can be compared to a small world where you are loved immensely, constantly waited for and supported. Here you can forget about everyday affairs and bustle.
When planning and having children, it is necessary to be aware of responsibility, find compromise solutions and promptly resolve all difficulties. You must be an example for your child.
Always put your loved ones first. By focusing more on your career, you risk being lonely and unhappy, thinking too much about money.
Psychological climate
Each person has their own interpretation of the meaning of the word “family”. Some honor and respect their relatives, thank them and help them. Others, on the contrary, do not seek to maintain relationships with them, since they do not find value. All judgments depend on upbringing.
There are two types of climate: favorable and unfavorable.
The climatic component is expressed by the following characteristics:
- emotional feeling;
- mutual understanding of each other;
- uniting and solving problems collectively.
The climate is influenced by the following manifestations:
- relationships between parents and with their children;
- communication between spouses and people around them.
A prosperous family symbolizes support, goodwill, care, an increased sense of responsibility for loved ones, and sharing the interests of the beloved.
Value guidelines
Friendly and strong relationships are a small brick for building a strong and reliable foundation for a family community. Values are traditions, foundations, moral and moral principles by which a person lives and never violates them, only in rare cases. I will list the main ones for you:
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- Sincerity. Loyalty and honesty are a stable basis for relationships, without which it is impossible to build a strong and healthy union. To maintain such stability, it is necessary to accept criticism without hysterics and think sensibly. If you calmly respond to the truth and try to cope with your shortcomings, your loved one will always be sincere with you.
- Compliance. Showing loyalty is a great way to avoid pointless arguments.
- Cohesion. Each family member needs to have his own personal space and have his own area of activity. But he must know that he has a family that he must not forget about, and periodically return to it, leaving behind problems at work. Uniting with loved ones is not difficult - just spend time together.
- Mercy. Learn to forgive people and not be offended by little things. Let go of all adversity and misunderstandings, life is short, don’t waste it. Touchiness takes away time, energy, good mood and strength.
- Generosity. It is important that spouses raise their child, attaching special importance to good nature. You should not instill in your child a sense of mutual benefit. Well-mannered individuals have the following qualities: tact, sincerity, empathy, humanity, kindness.
- Traditional customs. They are different for every family. Some gather every year to celebrate a relative's birthday. Others host movie nights on Thursdays. It is necessary to teach children from childhood to honor their ancestors and follow traditions. Draw a tree of life together - this will help your child get to know his loved ones better.
- Curiosity. Give your child the opportunity to study and understand the world, answer the endless questions of your why.
- Sociality. It is necessary to talk about everything and always with your husband, child, close relative. Communication is the path to trust, which in turn maintains healthy relationships.
- Responsibility. It develops with age, but it is necessary to educate children from infancy. First, make them clean up the toys scattered throughout the room, then entrust them with caring for the pets. Possessing this quality, it will be easy for the baby to follow the path of life.
Depending on value guidelines, a good climate, and moral principles, a healthy family image is formed.
Signs
A close circle has many properties:
- The decision to marry and have children is made on a voluntary, relaxed basis.
- The common things between spouses are: finances, housing, household, cars, valuables.
- Joint offspring.
- Following the law and properly observing all rights.
- The presence of general morality, psychological component and morality.
What does family mean and what role does it play in the life of the whole society and one person?
A close circle of close people performs a lot of functions that help support his life. I will give the following:
- Primary or reproductive. Performs social or personal tasks. The first implies an increase in the number of people, the second – the fulfillment of the need for procreation.
- Instructive. This includes educational skills and the introduction of children to society before they reach adulthood. Parents pass on to their child all the traditions, attitudes, and values.
- Financial. Adults provide for their child by providing food, shelter, and personal belongings. Representatives of a small community accumulate financial resources over the years and subsequently pass them on to their heirs.
- Restorative. Everyone needs a feeling of security, love and care. If these initial needs are not met, health problems may arise on a physical and psychological level. As a consequence, depression, aggressiveness, and breakdowns appear. All these illnesses lead to divorce and poor parenting.
The key to a good relationship is caring, love, respect, and unity. All members of the family community should appreciate each other, make compromises easily, plan leisure time together, and never despair of life’s dark spots and difficulties. If you try and don’t lose your desire for happiness, everything will return to normal faster.
Why family is an important life goal of a person: how is the importance manifested?
If at school we are taught various disciplines that will help us build a career in the future and become a promising person, then at home our parents give us upbringing, good habits, attitudes and care, which is so lacking in adult life. What important actions does the family perform:
- Will support in any endeavors and situations. He will sincerely rejoice for your victories and share your hardships.
- He is an example for society. Seeing an ideal couple with children, society tries to be similar, trying to build the same relationship.
- Rejoices at the happiness of every relative. Envy is an abnormal behavior of a family representative.
Male needs
Now I will try to explain, does a man need a family? Of course, this is a circle that includes your closest and dearest people, an area where you can relax and replenish lost energy. What does a married man get from this:
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- He receives a devoted adviser who organizes his vacation, takes care of him, and gives advice.
- The ability to create a large family and raise children with good upbringing and character.
- A man becomes a leader, takes responsibility for all concerns about his family, and protects his interests.
- Creating a family budget.
Reasons for creating a family: why people create it
I suggest you consider the basic premises for forming ideal family relationships:
- The ability of a full-fledged family to give birth and raise healthy offspring.
- Divide all household responsibilities in half.
- Getting support from a loved one.
- Ensuring safety and security.
- Disinterested pointing out shortcomings for re-education.
The main components for a woman are love, happiness, children, for a man – a career, providing for the family, heirs. For a male representative to feel like a full-fledged person, capable of achieving goals and success, he needs the love of a companion and her presence nearby. In childhood, this role was intended for the mother, but in adulthood it is performed by a loving wife.