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Tuesday, April 08, 2008 13:21 + to quote book -teya-
all posts by the author Evil is a point of view. We are immortal, before us is a rich feast, unlimited by conscience. Mortals cannot know him without repentance. God kills, so do we. Like us, he indiscriminately takes in rich and poor. There are no creatures under God more like him than we, dark angels, not imprisoned in the fetid walls of hell, but roaming His earth, throughout all its kingdoms. Today I want a child. A maternal feeling awoke in me. I want a baby. Anne Rice Interview with the Vampire [Lestat] If God does not exist, then this life... every second of it is all we have. Anne Rice "Interview with the Vampire" [Louis] I had no desire to end up in hell even for a moment. And I had no intention of going there just to spit in the face of the Prince of Darkness, whoever he was! On the contrary, if I am cursed, let this son of a bitch come for me himself. Anne Rice “The Vampire Lestat” [Lestat] He came closer, a hand flashed, my head fell back, the sky and Paris changed places... Anne Rice “The Vampire Lestat” [Lestat] Ah, Lestat, you deserved everything that happened to you. You better not die, otherwise you will most likely end up in hell. Anne Rice "The Vampire Lestat" [Lestat] A singer can break a glass by hitting a high note... But the easiest way to do this is to simply knock it over on the floor. Anne Rice "The Vampire Lestat" [Marius] The truth is that almost all women are weak - both mortal and immortal. But when they are strong, they are completely unpredictable. Anne Rice "The Vampire Lestat" [Marius] I swear to God that I never lie to anyone. I'm just lying to myself. Anne Rice "Queen of the Damned" [Lestat] None of us changes over time, we only become more and more ourselves. Anne Rice "Queen of the Damned" [Lestat] I don't like myself. I love me. I am devoted to myself to the death, but I don’t like myself. Anne Rice "Memnok the Devil" [Lestat] Let the young sing songs of death. They are stupid. Anne Rice "Pandora" [Pandora] We can seem either a miracle or a horror, it depends on how we want to be perceived. Anna Rice [Armand] I give, but this does not mean that I myself lose. Anne Rice [Armand] Just because I reveal my pain to you doesn't mean I love you. Anna Rice “The Vampire Armand” [Armand] How can such beauty hide such a wounded and unyielding heart, and why can’t I help but love it, why in my weariness can’t help but lean on its irresistible and at the same time indomitable strength? Isn't this the withered, gloomy spirit of a dead man in the form of a child? Anne Rice "Armand the Vampire" [Marius on Armand] It's nice to think that when we finally get tired of this world, there is still a sunrise. Anne Rice "Armand the Vampire" [Marius] Memories envelop me like old furs. I raise my hand and it is covered by a sleeve of memories. I turn around and see a different era. But do you know what scares me most? That this condition, like all my other conditions, will ultimately prove nothing, but will last for centuries. Anna Rice "Vampire Arman" [Arman] I want you, I want you, immediately. That's what she thought... Anna Rice "The Vampire Armand" [Arman] If I am an angel, draw me with black wings. Anne Rice "Armand the Vampire" [Armand] In the very depths of hell, don't demons love each other? Anna Rice "Vampire Armand" [Alessandra] Normality is always an illusion. Anne Rice "Merrick" [David] No matter how long we live, we all have our memories, marks of time that even time itself cannot erase. Anna Rice "Gold and Blood" [Marius]
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Vampire jokes
This humorous collection contains jokes about vampires:
Garlic repels vampires. I got drunk on garlic and went to chat with my neighbors near the entrance. Crap! They turned out to be all vampires!
“Jack, one night I confused a living girl with a vampire.” She screamed and resisted so much when I tried to cut off her head. - Yes, that’s what it’s all about, Sammy, one night I confused a vampire with a girl. You should have seen how he screamed and resisted.
Good vampires become mosquitoes after death. Well, bad vampires become tailless cows.
The year is 1950, the scene is Gryffindor Tower: - Hagrid, don't you dare keep vampires under your bed! Let go now! “You shouldn’t be doing that, Professor Dippet,” said Hagrid and let go of the leashes.
The student comes home and complains to her mother: “They tease me as a vampire!” Mom says: “They are all fools, you better eat your soup before it curdles.”
At the age of 20, Dracula was young and inexperienced, and therefore some unconscious victims gave him a suck that was completely different from what a decent vampire was supposed to suck.
Ghouls, ghouls and vampires gathered late at night in the cemetery and let's argue about which of them knows how to drink blood more skillfully. They stood there for a couple of hours, argued until they were hoarse, and ran away - the mosquitoes got to them.
A vampire with a bad bite leaves a mark on his neck from braces.
Two vampires are sitting, looking out for the victim: “Let’s bite that guy over there.” - No..., he’s drunk as hell, and I’m stuck...
Vampires are not reflected in mirrors. And the property of officials is in the declarations.
With the onset of spring, Pinocchio went into the forest, turned into a vampire and greedily drank birch sap.
Two vampires meet. The first vampire says: “And today I got a diabetic!” I’ll spoil the kids at home with sweets.
The ghouls (vampires) caught Brezhnev, who was walking from the ceremony of awarding him the fifth hero star! Well, they twisted his head off. They sit and watch. One says: “Well, from the throat?” - What are you talking about! Five stars...
It's stupid to hide under the covers when you're afraid of something! Well, for example, a vampire comes into the room and is disappointed: Oh no, she’s under the covers! - and just leaves!
My girlfriend is a vampire. She doesn't kiss me when I eat garlic.
Two classmates meet 30 years after graduating from high school. - Yes, Seryoga, we are getting old, brother. Surprisingly, your wife seems to be the same age as you, but she looks much younger? - The truth will be revealed over time, Vasya. I was warned that vampires don’t age, but I, a fool, didn’t believe it.
Mom is a vampire, Dad is a werewolf. The son does not know whose footsteps to follow, either the Tax Service or the Ministry of Internal Affairs.
If there is such a fashion for vampires, let them imagine how, after the wedding, the vampire retired with his young wife for his honeymoon.
Mom, why does everyone at school call me a vampire? - My child, never mind, eat the soup before it curdles...
What kind of vampire are you? Have you seen yourself in the mirror?
I guess I'm part vampire. I reflect in mirrors, but hand dryers don’t react to me.
Mom, what is a vampire? - Shut up and drink this first, because it clots quickly!
If moonlight is technically light from the sun, then why don't vampires die from it?
They once told my husband: “Your wife looks so young!” To which he replied: “Of course!” Vampires don't age!
Two vampires caught Brezhnev, cut off his head and gathered to drink his blood. - What, are we going to drink straight from the throat? - What are you talking about, five stars!
Vampires actually eat shit. — And the established image is needed to quickly get results.
Two friends meet. One to another: “Can you imagine, one of my friends turned out to be a vampire!” - How did you find out? “And I drove an aspen stake into his heart, and he died.”
A drunk vampire comes home, his wife comes to him from the doorway: “Again the bastard bit the drunks!”
Everyone knows that a woman is a vampire who drinks the blood of a man. - Of course, due to her greed, she drinks too much... The excess pours out of her every month.
The most terrible women are vampire women. They cannot see their reflection in the mirror and therefore apply makeup on the advice of their best friend.
Vampires believe that the most righteous of them end up in a blood transfusion station after death.
Ghouls, ghouls and vampires once gathered in a cemetery to argue about who could suck blood more dexterously. Well, we argued for a couple of hours, and then ran away - the mosquitoes were sick of us...
Vampire to the girl: “Don’t yell like that!” I just need to take a pill.
Son to mom: “Mom told me at school that I was a vampire.” - Don’t pay attention, son, you’d better eat the borscht before it curdles...
Pinocchio jumped up and stuck his nose into Count Dracula's chest. The leader of the vampires died immediately. - I didn’t even know you were aspen! - Malvina exclaimed.
Dad, a vampire, teaches his son, a vampire, to drink blood. “Son, you stick your fangs in and suck, but don’t suck out all the blood.” - Dad, why? I want to drink all the blood. - Son, we are vampires, not tax inspectors.
“If you drive an aspen stake into a vampire’s heart, he will die.” - Like, if you drive an aspen stake into an ordinary person, he won’t even notice?!
Garlic for 1950 rubles/kg has the magical property of scaring off not only vampires, but also other buyers.
— In the Middle Ages, the vampire Dracula ruled Europe. But in the end people caught him and he died a terrible death! - Is an aspen stake in the heart so scary? - Well, then it’s in the heart...
The article contains anecdotes and jokes about vampires, garlic, Dracula
Statuses about vampires
Whether you are a simple person or a bloodthirsty vampire, There are no limits to love and the world is very small.
I cut an orange like this, take one part and drink the juice first. Holy shit, I'm... A VAMPIRE
Every day I become more and more convinced that I am a vampire! I know how to turn off my feelings.
- This neighbor of yours... - Jerry? - Yes. He's a vampire! - What a terrible name for a vampire! Jerry.
A drunk girl walks through the park at night. A guy catches up with her: “Undress, I’ll rape you.” - Rapist? Cool! Listen, give me cunnilingus. -Are you crazy?! I'm a rapist - a vampire! - Well, you’re having a blast today! I am having a period!
It's stupid to hide under the covers when you're afraid of something. A vampire comes into the room and says: “Well, no, she’s under the covers!” I went!
A vampire attacked a girl and she screamed. - Why are you yelling? Should I take a pill...
A vampire attacks a girl. - I came to drink your blood! - Ahah, look for another victim, it starts on the 16th for me))
If man came from a monkey, then a vampire came from a mosquito!
Modern girls, when they hear the word “Vampire,” more often think about sex than about death =)
How would a Muslim vampire react to a cross?
I don't need a prince on a white horse. I don't need an oligarch in a white Mercedes. I don't need a vampire in a silver Volvo. I need you. On foot.
The most famous vampire with a "D"? - Damon! - Or maybe it’s Dracula? - No, Damon! 
Vampire Party. One vampire approaches the bartender: “I need blood.” He gives a glass of blood. The second one comes up: “Can I have some blood?” - Yes. She pours blood on him. Third: - Water please. - Don’t you want blood? - No. Gave me water. The vampire takes out a pad, soaks it in water: “Lipton tea”!
- Bella, I'm a vampire, I don't get an erection. - Come on ? - Aren't you very upset? - No, but I love the sadness.
Vampires don't reproduce, but we like to try.
The most terrible women are vampire women. They cannot see their reflection in the mirror and therefore apply makeup on the advice of their best friend.
Vampire drug addicts, nervously cackling, finished smoking garlic xD
Ghouls, ghouls and vampires once gathered in a cemetery. For the purpose of arguing - who can suck blood more dexterously. Well, we argued for a couple of hours, and then ran away - the mosquitoes got to us...
Why is it that if a vampire bites a person, then the person becomes a vampire, it feels like some people were bitten by sheep! 
- By the way, I’m half a vampire! - How is that? - Drink…
And I love every bite of his words in the neck and he is my legendary vampire...
The prince on a white horse is already outdated... now a vampire on a silver Volvo is in fashion!
She sits silently in her gloomy castle, he howls at the moon. Don't be with them! He is a werewolf and loves her during the day, but she is a vampire and loves him only at night...
Garlic repels vampires. I got drunk on garlic and went to chat with my neighbors near the entrance. Crap! They are all vampires!
Vampires also love people... blood flows in our veins too... yes, we are different from everyone else, but we also have the right to love like people...
An ideal couple is when one of the spouses is a vampire and the other is a donor.
A good photographer is like a vampire - he doesn’t reflect in mirrors and doesn’t cast shadows 
“You’re doing everything wrong!”
How does a person even have the right to tell you what you are doing this way and what you are doing wrong? Is he a receptionist, a foreman, your boss?
Response to the phrase: you are using a non-constructive statement, but there is actually something?
It is very difficult to endure the attacks of an energy vampire, but it really can be done. Such people are very fond of extorting pity, inducing a feeling of guilt in their opponents, and touching a nerve. Learn to control your emotions and don't let anyone get into your head. Let people learn to respect your personal boundaries.
