Statuses about coffee ☕: meaningful, short, funny

Restaurant - quotes and aphorisms

In a first-class restaurant, all the tables are always reserved and empty.

Nobody goes to this restaurant anymore because it is always crowded. Yogi Berra

In any restaurant, the portion of any dish you are served will be smaller than it was a year ago. “The Law of Diminishing Portions” by Gorobets and Slavinsky

If in the evening in a restaurant you see a man with a girl who looks like his daughter, then this is not his daughter. Henryk Jagodzinski

If you doubt whether there will be enough money for lunch with your family in a restaurant, it means it won’t be enough.

Nothing improves the taste of home-cooked food like checking out restaurant prices.

Chef: A person with a vocabulary rich enough to give a soup a new name every day.

Menu: a list of dishes that have just run out. Leonard Louis Levinson

McDonald's in Tokyo is a terrible revenge for Pearl Harbor. S. Hayakawa

- Waiter, if this is coffee, then I want tea, and if this is tea, I want coffee. Punch Magazine, 1902

Meals – food without a tablecloth. Gennady Malkin

The worse the cooks are, the more polite the waiters should be. Mikhail Genin

Older person: The customer who studies the menu first, not the waitress.

The waiter is like an echo: he responds, but does not come. "Pshekruj"

Don't humiliate a person with a ruble - give him three. Grigory Yablonsky

Two and two equals four, but try paying a restaurant bill with that knowledge! Henryk Jagodzinski

The bartender is a person who understands you better than your wife. American proverb

An honest bartender: one who earns a little less than the owner of the establishment. Robert Orben

Bar: a dimly lit room filled with dimly lit people. Unknown American

Nightclub: a place where people who have nothing to remember come to forget themselves.

Eatery: a place where you go every evening for the last time in your life. Julian Tuwim, based on Adrien Decourcel

The better the pub, the worse the wife; the worse the wife, the better the pub. Heinrich Mann

In a restaurant, I always ask for a table closer to the waiter.

No matter how many good tables there are left in a restaurant, you will always be offered the worst one available. Jonathan Yardley

NACHMAN'S RULE: The less authentic a foreign food is, the better it is. Gerald Nachman

For any restaurant, the rule is true: the harder the butter, the softer the bread. Harriet Markman

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much. Evan Esar

The golden rule when reading a menu is: what you can't pronounce, you can't afford. Frank Muir

The longer the name of the dish, the smaller the portion. Shirley Love

The longer the menu, the faster the waiter will appear to take your order. "The Cranston Restaurant Principle"

Your soup is not hot enough if the waiter can hold a big flame in it. William Collier Sr.

Those who expect the biggest tips get the worst service. Murphy's Laws

It’s a shame to give a little, but a pity to give a lot.

Self-esteem does not prevent you from accepting tips, but it does prevent you from thanking them for them. Abel Bonnard

And in a second-rate restaurant you can stumble upon a first-class bartender. This can be seen from the score. Jan Kurnakovich

Among psychotherapists, there are those who work in short white jackets and see patients behind the bar. Robert Lembke

The bartender is the only psychiatrist who will never try to persuade you to stop drinking.

The height of optimism: going to a restaurant, expecting to pay for dinner with a pearl found in an oyster. Tristan Bernard

Without it, it’s like having no hands!

Do you want to stand out somehow with something bright and original? Beautiful statuses about coffee are at your service!

The sun is outside the window. There is coffee on the table. Thoughts about you... so much pain.
People are divided into two categories: some drink coffee with milk, and others are normal!
Menthol cigarettes and a mug of coffee... the morning starts well!
Give me an alarm clock that will wake me up with the smell of coffee in the morning...
The best way to avoid yawning is to drink a cup of coffee!
Fresh coffee and elegant girls running errands... I love my job!
The smell of coffee in the morning is something worth living another day for.
Coffee is a scam. Don't deceive yourself, better sleep longer!
I eat in the evenings, smoke and drink coffee at night... I'm hopeless.
Coffee awakens a person faster, the more it splashes over his sleepy body!
It's easy to ruin coffee... if you put sugar in it. Likewise, true love can easily be ruined by a wedding!
What does everyone dream about in the morning? Get up, wash your face, drink a cup of coffee... and go home!
A mug of coffee and a cigarette are the best psychologists.
How much coffee have you drunk... Loneliness is not so bad!
The streets smelled of spring. It's time to switch from coffee to fitness!
More coffee, more smoking. Look at the ceiling again. Trying to forget again...
The coffee is disgusting! I want to sleep - I drank coffee. You still want to sleep - you give up and try to sleep... But now you can’t sleep because you swallowed coffee. But you still want to sleep!
I can survive any adversity...except cold coffee! I will tear anyone up for this!
Coffee on the table. Music is playing somewhere. Here they indulge in the game... again the zeroes win.
Love and coffee are very similar: first you feel warmth inside, and then a bitter aftertaste comes...
There are more coffee mugs near my computer than in Starbucks!
If the coffee gets cold, you won't be able to enjoy it. There is a time for everything, even coffee!
Bitter chocolate, bitter coffee, bitter love, bitter life...

Coffee is a friend and comrade!

For some people, coffee is their most reliable friend! A friend who helps you wake up and plunge into a new day with your head. Statuses about coffee and people who cannot live without it.

The kettle is much more useful than the guy! A kettle with instant coffee at least helps...
An old folk saying: if you spill coffee on your favorite blouse, then your hands are a little crooked... and a little from the wrong place!
If you are sure that coffee is harmless to a girl, then try pouring it on her!
The hot coffee has cooled down. The ardent feelings are over. The pain went away... only sadness remained in my soul.
If a woman invites you for a cup of coffee, then do not forget that the coffee may not be what you expect, but the real coffee!
You say coffee is bad for the heart? I don't care, it's already dead...
The day I don’t drink coffee in the morning, you can start burying me!
A mug of coffee, a decayed cigarette and rain outside the window. So corny, but so romantic!
You need tea when everything is good, so that it gets even better... And coffee is needed when everything is bad, but you have to somehow survive!
Coffee can ruin everything! Even your favorite blouse...
What am I dreaming about? Stronger coffee, louder kisses... and so that your heart doesn't scream in the middle of the night.
Why hasn't anyone thought of making cigarette-flavored coffee yet? There are cigarettes with coffee flavor!
Morning cup of coffee... It's okay, I'm just tired of it.
My life is measured in glasses of coffee...
I love coffee with cognac! But the coffee is out... if you know what I mean.
Coffee suffers from sugar. I suffer from love. Everything is as usual…
The best way to start a new life is with strong coffee!
It is not coffee and cigarettes that pave the way to loneliness, but loneliness that leads to coffee and cigarettes...
Without my morning cup of coffee I can’t even get in the door...

Coffee morning!

The morning is good only if it starts with a cup of coffee, and nothing else! Statuses about coffee and mornings, which can always be fixed if you know how.

Well, I sat for a couple of nights, cried, drank coffee... But how beautifully I left!
A cigarette takes 5 minutes of working time, and a mug of coffee takes about 15 minutes! Conclusion: coffee is more harmful than cigarettes!
Happy first day of spring everyone! And I think I’ll start my day with a cup of coffee.
Coffee is the nectar of life. It is thanks to him that we are still alive!
You're tired of your nicotine drops... you'd be better off experimenting with coffee drops! Look, there would be fewer casualties!
Suicide is the choice of those who do not know how to make coffee!
Dead streets outside the window and a cup of coffee in your hands are a killer combination!
Sometimes it seems to me that all the best coffee beans are actually selected, and the rest are sold to us!
There was a divine aroma of coffee in the kitchen, and the smell of your cigarettes was in the air... fucking memories.
In the morning - coffee, in the evening - wine. And so day after day, until I stop dreaming about you...
Quitting smoking is damn hard when you're holding a hot cup of coffee in your hands.
The best way to warm up is to drink coffee!
It’s morning again... again, make coffee, go to the balcony and smoke mysteriously. Yes, as much as possible! We need some variety!
Morning silence and a mug of coffee... what could be more beautiful?
Morning cup of bliss...
Smoking coffee, drinking cigarettes - life is upside down, thanks for the advice...
I’m unlikely to be able to love as sincerely as I love coffee.
Good morning only happens if it has the aroma of coffee!

Banquet (Sorokin) - Quotes

Banquet “DEAR”

COLD APPETIZERS

1. SALAD FROM NEW YEAR'S PHOTOS. 2000 g New Year's photographs, 200 g finely chopped parsley, 70 g olive oil, 50 g wine vinegar, 10 g ground cinnamon, 5 g ground black pepper, salt.

Wash New Year's photographs in warm, slightly sweetened water, cut into strips, add parsley, olive oil, wine vinegar, cinnamon, pepper and salt. Place in a glass vase in the shape of two women's palms. Give a natural shape.

2. LOVE LETTERS SALAD. 1500 g love letters, 10 postage stamps, 3 apples, 2 medium carrots, 100 g cranberries, 30 g sugar, 20 g nut butter, salt.

Chop the love letters, put them in a deep enamel bowl, sprinkle with warm water, sprinkle with salt, mash well so that the letters release juice, and put in a warm place for two days, putting pressure on top. Afterwards, chop the peeled apples and carrots, mix with the letters, add cranberries, sugar, butter. Place in a ceramic bowl, shape into a hemisphere and garnish with lightly salted postage stamps.

3. CAVIAR FROM M. BULGAKOV’S BOOK “THE MASTER AND MARGARITA”. 4 books “The Master and Margarita” in hardback, 200 g of vegetable oil, 50 g of garlic, 30 g of lemon juice, 10 g of ground red pepper, 5 g of crushed ginger, half a glass of cucumber brine.

Rinse the books thoroughly in cool water, separate the bindings from the blocks, and cut off the title pages. Marinate the bindings with lemon juice, crushed garlic and pepper in an enamel bowl and place in a cold place for 2 hours. Lightly fry the blocks. Pass the bindings and blocks through a meat grinder, place in a deep frying pan, add oil, salt, ginger and simmer over low heat for 40 minutes. Place in a porcelain bowl, shape into a cone, and decorate with a ball of tits soaked in cucumber pickle.

5. PATE FROM MEN'S SOCKS.

Spread worn socks and fry in vegetable oil with almonds, marjoram and finely chopped celery. Do not add salt under any circumstances! Pass through a meat grinder twice. After mixing with butter, rub the mixture through a fine sieve, add the yolks, nutmeg, cognac and beat thoroughly until thick. Once the pate is shaped like a heart, place it on a silver plate.

6. TIES STUFFED WITH TAMPAX. 16 silk ties, 16 used Tampax, 500 g used chewing gum.

Finely chop the Tampax, mix with chopped onion and garlic and fry in oil, adding salt and pepper. Cut off the narrow neck parts of ties. Fill the wide parts with tampax minced meat. Place the ties in a deep frying pan, sprinkle with grated cheese, pour over sour cream and bake in the oven for 20 minutes at 150°C. Allow the ties to cool. Place them on a round dish in the form of sun rays diverging from a hemisphere made from chewing gum.

10. TARTALETS WITH ROOM DUST.

11. WOOL BLANKET ROLL.

12. BICYCLE SADDLE UNDER A FUR COAT. 6 bicycle saddles, 1500 g of natural fur coat, 5 onions, 100 g of mayonnaise, 20 g of vegetable oil, salt.

Clean bicycle saddles from metal and plastic components, rinse, and place in heavily salted cold water for 11 days. After time, remove, cut into slices, place on an oval dish, pour over vegetable oil. Rinse the fur coat well and chop finely. Cut the onion into rings and place on the saddle slices. Place the fur coat on top, giving it an oval shape, pour over mayonnaise.