You can't escape fate, but you can escape from a wedding
Funny quotes from movies and TV series
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Hopeless is when the earth falls on the coffin lid. The rest can be fixed. "Carrier"
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Oh, these women! And it’s impossible to live with them, and it’s a shame to shoot them. "True Lies"
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Well, everyone has their own shortcomings. "Only girls in jazz"
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So the two of us will live together! Stupid! and knight. "Interns"
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Not loving a woman is a crime, loving is a punishment. "Bachelors"
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You can’t escape fate, but you can escape from a wedding. "Black cat, white cat"
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Women, like Indians, once they painted themselves, it means they are on the warpath. "Clone"
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You have brain damage. You are doomed to feel good for the rest of your life. "Dr. House"
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“I have something strange with my heart again.” - Is it beating? This is normal for people. "Dr. House"
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- Do you have a minute? - Yes, at least two... I’m at work. "Friends"
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It seemed to us that you were not like everyone else. It turns out you were just in a coma. "Friends"
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I love the smell of napalm in the morning "Apocalypse Now"
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For all their shortcomings, banks are better than trains. They stand still, and there is always money in them. "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"
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Of course, I’m not a sex goddess, but I didn’t find myself on a tree either. "Cactus Flower"
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A pleasant feeling for two minutes, and fat around the waist for life. "The Witches of Eastwick"
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Do you know who is more dangerous than a fool? A fool with initiative. "I'm heading into the storm"
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We will deflower your ears! "Rock Wave"
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A date is a preliminary preparation with the potential for love. "Say something"
Live
Artyom... walked away from the window. So there again... That’s it, there’s no one there. I sat down at the computer, I said. Why did you buy it? Staring out the window? I can take it back. Sat down! Mother! Toha, hurry up! What do you have there again? Kolobochek rides there. On a sled or what? On a bike! Come quickly! Damn it, Grishka, I don’t want to! Mom, hurry up, it’s all over now! Oh, look like ours! He also has a postcard there. Where? Where? Yes, there, on the wheel. Vin, vin to do. Mother! Ving, vin, vin, vin, vin. Ving, vin, vin, vin, vin vin. Ving, vin, vin, vin, vin. Ving, vin, vin, vin, vin vin. Ving, vin, vin, vin, vin. Was there blood there? I don't know, I haven't seen it. Yes, he knocked out his teeth... Mom! Why aren't you going? You're lying down! Right now. Go take your pills first. I was hanging wallpaper here... They laid linoleum for me... The bedding was all changed. As they said. There are two dolls over there. Let's get the kitchen. Let's go... I was painting there. And washing. I scrubbed everything completely. With powders, with soda. Open the refrigerator for me. The cockroaches left on their own. Then again. Hey! Hey! Let me see what's there! Shitting Grishka. Well, give it! Mother! I'm deleting. Keep scrolling, there's more there. Mom, what is this? Here it is. Mother. Abnormal... Why aren't you getting dressed yet? I'll have cabbage soup. Be. Will. Hey! Take the pills! What? Nothing... Hello, hello, Lenochka Mikhalna, hello! Did you recognize it? That's why I'm calling. Here Kapustina started playing mother. Well, how? She doesn’t drink, she’s done some renovations... Yes, Mother Teresa is sitting right there, it’s her mother... Do I know? I don't know. That's why I'm calling. Can you bring cabbage today? Yes, he asks, he almost gets to his knees... Where is your driver? Oh, and what to do? I don’t know either. Leave me alone, eh! Listen, let's come up with something, shall we? What's so and so? Let's take the minibus. So what? What will happen? God, it's an hour and a half there. You'll get your passports from the driver. Leave my phone number. Yes, and we’ll meet here... Do I need it? Come on, Lenochka Mikhalna, don’t be a jerk... Who are we going to tell? Why does she need this? Wow, that's another matter! OK! That's it, call me when you get in. Bye. I am waiting. - Will they bring it? - They'll bring it, they'll bring it. Thank you. Maybe you can have some tea and some pie? Well, I'll have some tea. Didn't she slobber on you? Fuck, what are my pants covered in? I went to look at my teeth? What kind of teeth? Men's ones! Here's one I found. Mother! With the roots like that. Mom, you moron, there are caries! Well, there is a little bit of caries. Fool! He's contagious! Caries is contagious, you fool! Go away, my crazy! Goat, it was a piece of paper... Hey, it was a piece of paper. Where are you? I saw everything, it's a piece of paper. Still with roots. If you scare me, I’ll just go home, I won’t go anywhere... What are you, you goat! Look. Where is the tooth? Here. Look out! God forbid you do something! Look! Who is this? Penguin. Not serious. I can't see from here. Woodpecker. Didn't he screw up the house?
Funny quotes from cartoons
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Land mine in my eye, we're still in New York! "Madagascar"
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Smile and wave, guys, smile and wave... "Madagascar"
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Did you know that you have tiny brains? This is a known fact, so no offense. "Glacial period"
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You can’t think the same thought all the time! This is very harmful! This can make you bored and sick. "38 parrots"
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Not enough is when you’ve eaten everything and still want more. And a lot is when you no longer want anything. "38 parrots"
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At that moment, danger loomed over the person dearest to me—me. "Black Cloak"
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- If I shoot the ball, it will spoil! - And if you don’t shoot, then I’ll be spoiled! "Winnie the Pooh"
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It takes two to lie. One lies, the other listens. "The Simpsons"
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I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who once went to the doctor! "SpongeBob"
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I will be so lonely without my million... “The Adventures of Pig Funtik”
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I couldn't help but notice that you noticed that I noticed that you noticed me. "Rango"
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I don’t take money for my awesomeness. And even more so for beauty. "Kung Fu Panda"
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Perhaps the crap I showed today has never been seen in the entire history of kung fu! Throughout the history of China! In the entire history of sludge! "Kung Fu Panda"
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Tail in your beak! "Angry Birds at the Movies"
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We have an emergency exit there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there - everywhere! When sitting on the carpet, do not stick your arms out. "Aladdin"
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I'm history! No - into mythology! Oh, I don’t care where he went, he went there! "Aladdin"
God, what a type! Bravo, bravo! Please continue!.. “Ivan Vasilyevich is changing his profession”
Let's have a smoke! In our way, in Brazilian way!
Funny quotes from Soviet films
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Girls, stop your mother! "Love and pigeons"
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Mulya, don't make me nervous! "Foundling"
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I kept thinking: how come noses don’t interfere with kissing? And now I see that they don’t interfere. "Girls"
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Who would leave him at the military registration and enlistment office overnight? What if he steals the seal? "Red viburnum"
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I'll kiss you. After. If you want. She thinks I need her kisses. I need her millions. Let's have a smoke! In our way, in Brazilian way! You never know in Brazil... Pedrov?! And you can't count it! "Hello I'm your aunt!"
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White dance, uncle. Ladies invite gentlemen! Drive the ruble, relative! Afonya owed me a ruble! Somehow I fell ill today... I’ll go read the press... And how do you, Borshchev, manage to do everything? And dive into fountains and fight at dances!? “You don’t know what the UN decided about Honduras?” - Who is he? "Afonya"
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Abdullah! Customs gives the go-ahead! Gulchatay! Show your face! The master has appointed me as his beloved wife! I don't take bribes. I feel bad for the country. "White Sun of the Desert"
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I'm innocent, he came himself! "The Diamond Arm"
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Distribute it among the residents of our housing office. And if they don’t take it, we’ll turn off the gas! "The Diamond Arm"
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I am an artist of large and small academic theaters. And my last name... my last name is too famous for me to name it. Such questions, dear Ambassador, cannot be resolved at the drop of a hat. We need to consult with our comrades, come back in a week. I demand that the banquet continue! Packs, packs... like cherubs! Your Excellency, have mercy. By the way, you misunderstood me... I don’t speak languages, your honor. “Ivan Vasilyevich is changing his profession”
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It seems that the evening is no longer languid. Don’t teach me how to live, better help me financially! "Moscow does not believe in tears"
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Here I am walking beautifully along the street, and the men around me are falling and falling... And they themselves are stacked in piles!!! But for me, one is better! I want to eat halva, I want gingerbread!!! "Girls"
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They'll screw you, but don't steal. You should have married an orphan. Why is he a swindler? The man knows how to live! "Watch out for the car!"
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I will ask that the fact of the sale of the Motherland be recorded in the protocol. What can I steal from the market? Scales? White coat? Counter? You have an amazing profession: you do something that doesn’t exist. "Garage"
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The master has appointed me as his beloved wife! "White Sun of the Desert"
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I feel such personal hostility towards the victim that I can’t eat! I’ll tell you one smart thing, just don’t be offended by “Mimino”
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We won’t take Baba Yaga from outside - we’ll raise him in our team. Is there life on Mars, is there no life on Mars - this is unknown to science! "Carnival Night"
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Steal, drink, go to jail. Steal, drink, go to jail. Romance... "Gentlemen of Fortune"
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The people gathered for debauchery. "Red viburnum"
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If a woman asks for something, you must give it to her. Otherwise she will take it herself. "The Man from the Boulevard des Capucines"
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But the head is a dark object and cannot be examined. "Love Formula"
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An intelligent face is not yet a sign of intelligence. All the stupid things in the world are done with this facial expression... Smile, gentlemen, smile. "The Same Munchausen"
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We love you... deep down. Somewhere very deep. "Love affair at work"
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I’m all so sudden... all so angular... all so contradictory. "The Pokrovsky Gate"
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He who does not work eats. Learn student! Soon you will be wearing a wooden mackintosh, and music will be playing in your house, but you will not hear it. You must Fedya, you must! "Operation Y and other adventures of Shurik"
Sometimes it seems to me that when they were handing out happiness, I was standing in the wrong line - well, for bread, there, or for sausage. But it definitely wasn't slender legs or a thin waist. "Waiting for a Miracle"
Dialogues from films.
Matrix
- Do you believe in fate, Neo?
- No. - Why? “It’s unpleasant to think that you are being manipulated.”
Disappeared
- Did you love her? - Yes, I loved, but then we only offended and suppressed each other... and caused pain. - This is marriage.
The Shawshank Redemption
— Ellis Boyd Redding, you have served 40 years of your life sentence. Do you think you have reformed?
- Have I been re-educated? You know, I have no idea what “reformed” means.
— Are you ready to return to society?
“I understand, I understand, son.” But for me it's just a word. There, for politicians. For the world you are from, so young. You want to have a quiet job, a good suit. Do you really want to know if I regret what I did?
- Do you regret it?
“Not a day goes by that I don’t regret it.” Not because I'm here, and not because I have to. I remember myself in the past when I was a stupid boy who committed this terrible crime. I want to talk to him, explain what’s what, I want to straighten his brains out, but I can’t. This guy is long gone, only this old man is left, and I have to live with this until I die. Have I reformed? Yeah, that's just a crap word.
Pulp Fiction
- Do you hate it too? - I hate what? - An awkward silence. Why do people have to say some nonsense just to avoid feeling out of place? - Don't know. Good question. - Only then do you realize that you have found a truly special person, when you can just shut up for a minute and enjoy sharing the silence with him...
Back to the Future
- Doc, what about all this talk about how you can’t change the future? About the space-time continuum. - Yes, I thought, well, to hell with this continuum.
Obsession
- Honestly? I don't think anyone realized what I was trying to do in Schaeffer. I didn't conduct there. Any idiot can wave his arms and keep the pace. I wanted you to go beyond the expected. I think this is absolutely necessary. Otherwise, we will deprive the world of a new Louis Armstrong, a new Charlie Parker. Did I tell you how Charlie Parker became Charlie Parker? — Joe Jones threw a plate at him. - Exactly. Young Parker plays the sax quite well, so he goes on stage with the orchestra and ruins everything. Jones nearly beheaded him for this. To the laughter of the orchestra. Parker cried all night, but in the morning what does he do? Rehearsing. And rehearses and rehearses. Thinking of only one thing: they won't laugh at him anymore. A year later he returns to Reno, takes the stage again and gives the most awesome solo the world has ever heard. Imagine if Jones said: “Don’t worry, Charlie, uh, it was fine, good job!” Then Charlie would have thought: “Fuck it, I played well.” And that’s it, it’s over, there is no Bird. For me this is the greatest tragedy. But this is exactly what the world needs right now. No wonder jazz is dying. I’m thinking, and with each album of jazz from Starbucks I am becoming more and more convinced that there is no word in our language more harmful and dangerous than ... “well done.” - Where is the line? Maybe you overdo it and then the new Charlie Parker will break down and not become Charlie Parker? - No, no, no. The real Charlie Parker will never break.
Forrest Gump
— Forrest, have you already decided what you will become when you grow up? -Who will I be? - Yes. “Won’t I be myself?”
On the needle
-You're not getting any younger, Mark. The world is changing. The music changes, even the drugs change. You can't sit at home all day and dream about heroin and Ziggy Pop. - Iggy Pop. - Doesn't matter. He's already dead anyway. — Iggy Pop is not dead, Tommy went to his concert last year. - You have to find something new for yourself.
Leon
- Is life always such crap or only in childhood? - Always.
Mind games
- Tell me, is the Universe big? - Infinite... - How do you know? “All the data points to this.” - But this has not been proven, you haven’t seen it yourself? Why are you so sure? - I'm not sure, I believe. - It’s the same with love...
Untouchable/ 1+1
— Do you like painting? - Yes very. I love Rafael. - I like the other ninja turtles better.
Social network
- It's better for us to remain friends. - I don't need friends. - This is basic politeness, I have no desire to be your friend. I'm sure that in the future you will become a very successful programmer, but you will always feel like girls don't like you because you're a computer geek. I have to disappoint you, Mark, this is not true at all. It's because you're a complete idiot!
Birdman
“I have a chance to do something right.” I'll use it. I must. - It's funny. I was sitting here waiting for you and suddenly forgot why we broke up. — I once flew from Los Angeles. And George Clooney was sitting about two rows away from me - suit, cufflinks and that chin. And we find ourselves in a terrible, terrible storm. Our plane was shaking and rocking. And the people on board were crying, people were praying out loud, you know? And I just sat. They cry, and I sit and think: “Oh God! "When Sam gets the paper in the morning, Clooney's face will be on the cover, not mine."
Renegades
— Should I give you my business card? - No, don't! I'm a detective, I'll find you myself! - Uh... - Just kidding, of course, let's do it.
Interstellar
- Since I say that love is not an invention of humanity, it is a tangible quantity, it is a force, it must mean something. — Love matters, yes. Social benefits: social connections, raising children... - We love people who have died. What is the public benefit of this? - No... - Maybe love is something more that we cannot yet understand. Maybe this is evidence of something... an artifact of some other dimension that we cannot comprehend. And I am drawn across the entire Universe to a person whom I have not seen for 10 years and who may already be dead. <…> Maybe we should trust it [love], even though we don’t understand its essence?
The Truman Show
- I want to be a great traveler, like Magellan. - You are late. Everything is already open.
Fight club
If you are reading this, then this warning is for you. Every word you read is meaningless - you are simply wasting another part of your life. Don't you have anything else to do? Is your life so empty and gray that you can’t even find something to do with your free time? Have you really read everything you wanted to read? Have you really thought about everything you wanted to think about? Go outside immediately. Find yourself someone of the opposite sex. Stop making stupid purchases and stop masturbating. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove that you are alive. If you don’t take action, you will live your worthless life. I warned you... Tyler.
