Do you want to be happy? Be! But it is important to be able to give happiness to others. And only good people are capable of this. Each of us can periodically show altruism and compassion, be attentive and caring. But kindness as a personality quality, so valued in the past, today, unfortunately, is increasingly called “spinelessness” and is becoming unpopular. But it's never too late to change, because kindness is like a muscle that can be trained. In this article we will talk about how to become kinder, softer and calmer.
Doing good brings you joy
People are not alike due to different types of upbringing, social habits and outlook on life. The more good you do, the more happiness you get. Is it true? For some, it is a great joy to feed a hungry kitten curled up on the threshold of the entrance, while others will pass by and not even notice it. And the point here is not that some are able to help, but others are not. Basically, everyone can help, but it’s just a matter of desire. Goodness fills the human soul with happiness, because there is nothing better than seeing gratitude on the face of the person you helped. Having done good, a person feels the same pleasure as the person whom he was able to help. But not always.
Good is the basis of a person, his core, aspiration and faith. If a person does not have this quality, he will not try to do good, because he does not understand that it can bring good to him specifically. Such people are selfish, and without doing good they turn into evil people. How to react to such people and should you treat them kindly?
What is meant by doing good?
From childhood we are taught that helping others is the highest virtue.
Indeed, this is a simple way to be useful to society, make it a little better, and make someone’s life easier. The Lifehacker Telegram channel contains only the best texts about technology, relationships, sports, cinema and much more. Subscribe!
Our Pinterest contains only the best texts about relationships, sports, cinema, health and much more. Subscribe!
Sometimes it happens that a person tries his best to help someone and sincerely believes that he is acting solely for the good. But the one to whom the help is addressed is not grateful and, moreover, stops all communication. Because on his part, helping may not look like a virtue at all. Here are some examples.
- Mom doesn’t like her son’s chosen one, and she does everything to quarrel between the couple. He speaks unflatteringly about the girl or even makes up gossip about her so that the guy comes to his senses. She plants earrings and lipsticks in his apartment so that the girl decides that he is cheating and leaves. Finally, he imitates heart attacks - let him see what he brought his mother to. Naturally, she acts solely in his interests. What he understands at 25, but his mother’s heart doesn’t lie. Then he will definitely appreciate her help!
- In a conversation between two friends, one casually mentions that he will soon be looking for a new job. The old one suits him, but he feels it’s time to grow. A week later, a friend calls and says that everything has been agreed upon: his friend is looking for an employee, the interview is on Friday. And then he is offended that the good deed was not appreciated.
- The daughter wants to study physics, but the parents take the pose: “Only over our corpses!” What will she work as a physics teacher later? And in general this is not a woman’s business, it’s better to go to a translator. The daughter is still small and does not understand, so the issue is resolved. He gets a diploma and can do whatever he wants.
- At the alumni meeting, a healthy lifestyle adherent and his less “enlightened” classmate find themselves nearby. As a result, the latter, instead of having fun, listens to a lecture all evening about how he can die if he doesn’t change anything in his life. Moreover, the Zodiac is one hundred percent sure that he brings goodness and light.
- The girl posts a photo on a social network and receives a comment: “Of course, you don’t have to listen to me, but you better not wear this color and this style. If you dress differently, you will become a beauty. These things make you look older." The sender is proud of himself, because he will now help the poor fellow get out of the abyss of ignorance.
These are slightly exaggerated, but eloquent examples that immediately show what is wrong with causing good. There are also less obvious ones. For example, you, with good intentions, snatch one of someone’s bags so that it won’t be too hard for them. But before this, the person carefully distributed things by weight so as to maintain balance, and your help only hinders him. Or you start giving sensible, generally speaking, advice under a post from someone you know with a problematic story. But he didn’t ask for help, he just found the incident funny and shared it.
To help, that is, to do good - to give timely advice upon request, to provide a service that a person needs, to transfer a resource. It’s like giving the birthday person a gift that he has always dreamed of. In this case, he will feel gratitude in the most natural way.
To do good is to interfere with unsolicited advice, impose services, or think for another person. It's like trying to give a random acquaintance a denture and a poker, tied with a red ribbon, and then wondering why he refuses and is not happy.
To kill evil, you need to do good to evil people?
On this score, wise people have one answer: good people and evil cannot be treated equally, good people deserve a good attitude, and evil people deserve a fair one. It’s hard to disagree with this, since other behavior is simply contrary to human nature - now it’s quite rare to meet a person who, after a blow to the cheek, is ready to turn the other one. People get used to the fact that they are forced to survive, which means they are forced to fight evil. At the same time, evil cannot be punished by evil; other peaceful ways should be sought.
Evil deeds inevitably poison the human soul. You need to deal with evil people according to justice. For example, if one person constantly offends another and does nasty things to him. Neither words nor requests help, and even an indifferent attitude has no effect on the villain. If you respond in kind, it may be perceived as evil, and, in principle, if you act like the offender, you yourself are little different from him. What does fair mean? This means that since a person does not deserve to be treated well, one should treat him with disdain and not do anything kind to him. In any case, the measures of justice are different for everyone, so everyone is free to choose for themselves what fair revenge on evil means to them.
"Anti-protests" caused by Westboro Church
The Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) is primarily known for its anti-gay stance. Representatives of this church are often seen at various high-profile military funerals. They organize pickets there, holding banners with various defiant slogans.
One can only imagine what happened when this highly controversial church suddenly announced that its protests were nothing more than an attempt to stir up the public.
For example, when Vassar College students learned that the Westboro Church was planning to picket their LGBT-friendly campus, they immediately organized a counter-protest.
And students from Texas A&M University once formed a “human chain” just to stop any attempts by church representatives to picket a military funeral.
Other “anti-protesters” from the Angel Action organization brought with them three-meter angel wings, and covered the church representatives from all sides with them, thereby hiding them from view of others. Another group, the Patriot Guard Riders, also used “nonviolent means of defense” - shields, with which they prevented church representatives from picketing another military funeral.
Good cannot be indifferent
Every person observes how much evil is happening on our land - wars, murders, terrible diseases, accidental deaths. And many troubles, unfortunately, occur not only because someone does evil, but because good people do not want to resist him and silently watch what is happening. And this behavior was equated with evil by many thinkers. It should be suppressed when it just begins to emerge, and good deeds should not be waited for, since any expectation can bring more troubles than evil itself.
Is it possible to pass by a person who sincerely asks a passerby for help? Perhaps it depends on his participation whether the sufferer can survive or not. If you push his hand away, that will also be evil. Unfortunately, people do not always understand that they are doing evil, since the measures of this concept are different for everyone, and evil itself is never recognized that it is such by nature. Therefore, every day you need to sow seeds of goodness around yourself, and soon they will sprout into a lush garden for those who sincerely did good deeds.
"Project Linus"
Project Linus is a non-profit organization that distributes blankets and homemade quilts to sick or injured infants, children and teens in hospitals, shelters, social service organizations and charities. The goal is simple: to give people a sense of security and comfort when they need it most.
Project Linus has local leaders in each state and volunteers called "blanketeers".
For example, in Fayette County, Georgia, volunteers have sewn, crocheted, and then distributed 1,155 blankets to local children since 2010, and in 2012 they sent 147 hand-sewn blankets to children affected by Hurricane Sandy. .
Goods do not need to be counted, like apples at the market.
If you ask several people about the reasons why they do good, the answers will be different. Some people do this by the will of their souls out of good intentions, while others do it for themselves. And the point here is not the simple joy that a person shared his kindness with someone, but the fact that he will count on the fact that he is now obliged to do good. In this regard, folk wisdom has one answer - goodness does not tolerate calculations and entries in the calendar. A person should not expect that because of good deeds all the stones in his path will be removed; he should accept all subsequent events humbly.
We must do good and not expect reward. You should not live by the rule “you - to me, I - to you,” because the rules of trading on the market cannot be applied to human relationships. If the person who has been helped is required to do something in return, it turns out that good can be bought and sold, but this is not so.
When is the best time to do good?
Good can be done at any time. The most important thing in this matter is that good intentions come from a pure heart. As mentioned above, there is no need to expect returns from the other person. If you do good for selfish reasons and only to be noticed, believe me, it will not bring you happiness, but your conscience will torment you a lot.
Many people think that good deeds can only be done if you have money, but this is not true at all. Try to start saying pleasant and sincere words to your loved ones right now. The most important thing here is to know the line between kindness and flattery. Do not offend people with a thrown word, try to be tactful and do not get angry again.
By taking away the love of goodness, you are taking away the delights of life.
Good means smiles, laughter, joy and happiness both for the one to whom they did good and for the one who acted kindly. Human nature is such that people feel the need to take care of someone and help someone. For some, helping themselves is the main task, and these are selfish people who will never know what real happiness consists of. For others, doing good is as necessary as breathing and eating. Without doing good, a person feels empty and useless to anyone. Therefore, if a person strives to do a good deed, he cannot be dissuaded from it, since this is the meaning of his life.
Boomerang Law
Why do good deeds need to be done?
- To calm your soul. In most cases, the “reverse effect” works. This means that a person who has committed a good deed will receive even more good;
- Imagine that you are in a difficult situation. Most likely, you would want someone to help you. Therefore, you need to treat others exactly as you would like them to treat you;
- By doing good deeds, a person experiences complete satisfaction;
- Unfortunately, there are a lot of evil people in our world. If every person does at least one good deed, then there will be much less evil;
- If at any moment you feel unnecessary, and it seems to you that you are nobody in this life, just do a good deed;
- All the good that you bring to people, even if no one knows about it, will correct your destiny and make you happier.
Do good and you will avoid evil
Good is like a boomerang - it will definitely return to the person who did it. The same applies to evil. Any bad thoughts and deeds will be avenged, and good deeds will be rewarded with goodness. People who do good to others gradually crowd out evil from the world, which means they reduce the possibility of its occurrence. Today you will help a needy person and save him from starvation, and tomorrow someone will donate money for an operation for a terminally ill person. In this way, good will spread and will soon defeat the manifestations of evil.
The concept of “good” in Orthodoxy
Religion interprets this concept in the same plane as philosophy. The Bible calls us to do good, calling it not only any creative deed, but also thoughts and words. Unlike evil, it creates, loves, helps, pleases and forgives. Good conquers with good, it is peaceful and holy. To give oneself to good deeds means to act according to the will of God. This is the main answer to the question of why do good. It is not for nothing that this category in the Orthodox religion is elevated to the ideal that every person is supposed to follow.
This concept is also considered too abstract. Knowing only the definition of good, it is difficult to understand how to apply it in each individual life situation. That is why, the priests urge, even from school it is necessary to explain to children the essence of this category using simple and understandable examples.
Why do good? Orthodoxy gives its answer: to give your love to the world around you and illuminate the path of life with deeds pleasing to God.
Bad habits don't go well with good ones
Whether it is possible to learn to do good is a controversial question. This largely depends on the person himself, and whether he is ready to sacrifice his desires for the sake of a good deed. The desire to become kinder alone is worth a lot and is the basis for one’s re-education. Kindness today is a rather scarce quality, but it depends on it whether this world can still exist or will soon perish. According to aphorisms, evil character traits completely retreat before good deeds. By doing good and seeing its consequences, a person will never be able to do evil again.
Goodness creates a small world around a person in which good mood, smiles, happiness and kindness reign. Is it possible to leave this world voluntarily? Only if a person has a natural attraction to evil. It is psychologically important for him to see the suffering and pain of other people, and most often this need arose in a person due to a difficult childhood, which is why you should not allow a child to be unhappy and lonely, even if he is a stranger to you.
Good deeds
There are a lot of sympathetic and caring people in the world who perform exceptionally kind actions. For this they will always be remembered with a smile and thanked with all their hearts. Because of the existence of such individuals, hundreds of thousands of children have become healthy, millions of people have been saved from accidents, the homeless have a home, those in need are supported, animals are given a cozy, warm corner and a loving owner. Good deeds have no end, they cannot be counted, as they happen every second and moment.
Doing good must be done unconditionally and immeasurably
Good is a thing that cannot end, and therefore it should be shared with everyone who needs it and who deserves it. There are so many unhappy and desperate people around, for whom the kindness of others is salvation. You should not skimp on kindness; if you have the opportunity, help and do a good deed. It’s wonderful when you feel the power to help, it means that you are no longer living on this earth in vain. Do not make good conditional, because a good deed done by decree loses its power.
Aphorisms about goodness
There are a lot of discussions about the nature of goodness and the need to do good deeds; with the help of them, the sages shared their wisdom, worldview and life experience. Aphorisms about goodness have a very deep meaning and help a person decide for himself whether it is worth doing good or not. One of the well-known aphorisms says that those who talk too much about doing good waste the time allotted for doing good deeds.
The meaning of many aphorisms is that doing good is true joy, and that trying to take away the desire to do good is equivalent to trying to take away the beauty of life. There are also often aphorisms that goodness is immortal, and good deeds should only be repaid with goodness.
It's time to do good! Create it and be happy!
Who needs help
Why do we so rarely think about who around us needs help? Why do you need to do good? There are so many people who need our attention and care. Disabled children, elderly people, people with disabilities, poor people, etc. Of course, no one talks about the fact that you need to rush at the first grandmother you meet and crush her with your “kind pressure.” You can check if there is a charitable foundation or volunteers in your city. You can help find missing people or, for example, take part in amateur activities for veterans.
Naturally, each of us needs goodness. Why then, for example, not caress your loved one and once again remind him of how much he is loved.
