Probably almost every person has experienced disappointment in his life. In people, in animals, in yourself... During such periods of life, you want to withdraw into yourself, not talk to anyone and not trust anyone. However, it is strictly forbidden to do this, otherwise ordinary disappointment in a person can result in real depression. What to do and how to live next is discussed in the article.
Getting wiser
Whenever a person experiences disappointment in people, it brings him a certain experience. It is thanks to the latter that wisdom accumulates. If the disappointment was more or less justified and not far-fetched, then in the future the person most likely will not allow similar situations and will not make the same mistakes. The main thing in this case is that disappointment does not become clinical. Otherwise, a person will never be able to trust people again, and this is bad. Then it will be useless to talk about wisdom and life experience, and you can only refer the disappointed person to a psychologist. True, a case can be called truly clinical if the feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction with others lasts for a long time, and not for a couple of days or weeks.
Why don't all people strive to get out of the black streak?
No matter how strange it may sound, not all people strive to quickly get out of the black streak. There are several reasons.
- The sympathy of others. We are always pleased when people give attention, show interest, and sometimes even help.
- There is always a topic for discussion. Most of us are people who like to talk about problems.
- Possible concessions. For example, a person did not receive his salary on time, was late for work and explained that he had no money for travel.
However, we should remember: in this state we often attract even greater troubles. Against their background, attention, sympathy and a topic of conversation are rather dubious benefits.
Why is this happening
Disappointment in people can occur for many reasons. The most common ones are listed below:
- Betrayal. When a person betrays, it hurts. And this leads to disappointment. And it’s good if only that same traitor becomes the “object of dislike,” otherwise the idea that all people are bastards and that no one can be trusted may creep in. It all depends on the scale of human meanness.
- Treason. This is the same betrayal, but due to the fact that it is committed not just by an acquaintance, but by a loved one, people react to betrayal more violently. Most often, they are disappointed in potential “soul mates” and then are afraid to start a relationship.
- Lie. Lies, especially large ones, are perceived, again, as betrayal. There is a difference, of course, but the meaning is the same: we understand that we have been deceived for a long time, we become disappointed in a particular person, and then, perhaps, we stop trusting people altogether.
- Unjustified expectations. This is the most basic reason; all of the above and many more come from her. Any disappointment occurs because a person hopes for something too much. He builds (in his head) illusions that arose not from the real state of affairs, but from his own imagination, so it is not surprising that they fall apart like a house of cards, leaving the dreamer with nothing.
Why disappointments happen
They say that people have gone wrong, they don’t know how to love, they are not responsive, they are ready to betray over a trifle. But, by and large, our own mind games manifest themselves in disappointments. First, we begin to desperately, uncontrollably believe in someone or something - that is, we become fascinated.
But nothing is perfect in the world. Hoping to find only the good in people or phenomena is an initially doomed attitude. And even if we don’t see something right away, even if we want to think that there is nothing like that, we must be aware that we simply do not yet know everything about this person or phenomenon.
This, of course, does not mean at all that a person will necessarily turn out to be a terrible maniac or that we will be drawn into a sect that threatens our lives, but everything has shortcomings that will appear sooner or later, one way or another.
Moreover, often at first, when we get carried away by something or someone, we ourselves do not want to see these shortcomings. We ignore all the bells, close our eyes, hope that it will somehow pass by, that it doesn’t matter. But this, of course, is a misconception. And the whole question is whether we want to continue to remain with rose-colored glasses and behave towards disappointment or whether we would prefer to look at life more sensibly and be able to enjoy it as it is.
How to deal with disappointment
After yet another exposure of human vices, unseemly acts and other unpleasant situations, a completely understandable question comes to mind: how to survive disappointment in people? It seems that everyone around you is exactly like the person who did not live up to your expectations. In reality, this is, of course, not the case. The only way to survive any disappointment, including in people, is to understand, forgive and come to terms with the idea that there is no one/nothing ideal on Earth. There is no way without this. Only realizing the futility of trying to find a person without a single flaw can help get rid of disappointment now and prevent similar situations from happening in the future. However, the latter is discussed in more detail below.
What's the use of disappointments?
Of course, after the disappointment you have experienced, you just need to move on. Moreover, overcoming disappointments makes life fuller and more authentic. After all, this experience really, as we said above, teaches us to accept life, teaches us to perceive not only its visible, superficial part, but also to see deeper, feel more subtly, and trust our instincts. Teaches you to forgive, and this makes life easier. And instead of denying the part of life that we don’t like, that doesn’t fit into our picture of the world, we accept this other side, and it turns out that these trials also help change everything for the better.
So, in order to avoid disappointments in the future, you need to handle these disappointments correctly - especially if they are repeated. We need to change our perception of the world and people, learn to appreciate them for who they are, despite their shortcomings. And this definitely ultimately helps us become happier.
How to avoid being disappointed in people in the future
The tips below will help you learn how to avoid feeling dissatisfied with unfulfilled expectations from people.
- First, you should stop idealizing others. It is impossible to find a perfect person, so you shouldn’t even try.
- Secondly, you need to become tolerant of other people's opinions and thoughts. To be disappointed in a person just because of his musical, political or other preferences is stupid.
- Thirdly, you need to try to forget about the person who disappointed you and not judge other people by him. If only because there are simply no absolutely identical people.
- Fourthly, you cannot see everyone around you as an enemy. After disappointment, it seems as if everyone around is bad, but this is not so.
- Fifth, you need to listen to other people. Then in the future there will be no disagreements and shouts from the “rival” in the style: “I already told you about something, what are your complaints?!” and so on.
- Sixthly, you cannot place high hopes on people. The less you expect something from a person, the less likely you are to be disappointed in the future. Treat others the way they deserve and don't expect anything from them.
Where do the black streaks in life come from?
A person’s life depends not only on his personal efforts, but also on external influences. For example, a salary was delayed - a person worked regularly all month, but is sitting without money. Here's a black streak for you.
And then troubles pile up like a snowball. When depressed, people make wrong decisions, become distracted, and inattentive. They make mistakes, and as a result - major and minor troubles.
It is important to remember that getting into a black streak is much easier than getting out of it.
Statuses and statements about disappointment in people
Everyone sometimes wants to show their pain. Then statuses about disappointment in people can be very useful, so that, without complaining to everyone you meet, you can still tell others about what is going on in your soul. Another reason for using them is to turn a situation into a joke or look at it with a new perspective. What primarily helps with this is not ordinary statuses, but wise statements about disappointment in a person. They will not only help you cope with pain, but also think about the future in which you can avoid making such mistakes.
- A dog is man's best friend. He will not betray, will not let you down, will support you in difficult times and will never disappoint.
- Ah, the wedding. Women marry out of curiosity, and men marry out of boredom. The end result is that both sides are severely disappointed.
- The more disappointments you experience in life, the less you believe in the existence of worthy people.
- The main thing is to never expect anything from others. And then you won’t have to experience disappointment in people.
- It's not loneliness that attracts me. I just don’t want to get to know someone again so as not to experience another disappointment.
- There is a beauty in not loving anyone. You don't feel disappointed.
So, now that you know a little more about this feeling, you can avoid it in the future. Treat people more simply - and life will become easier.
— Ways to solve
________
1) Don’t rush to blame everyone and everything, look deep into yourself and the circumstances that happen to you and you will become less disappointed in people. Maybe they want to point out something to you, maybe it’s time to change something in your life.
2) Try to think about why this happens, and perhaps more than once. If circumstances are repeated time after time, then this is a reason to start with yourself, and not look for reasons outside.
3) If you want to speak up and you want to change your circumstances for the better, then find someone who can listen to you, but at the same time give the right advice on what to do next, and not just someone who will console you and agree with everyone your dissatisfaction caused by disappointment in this or that person.
4) Don’t accumulate emotions in yourself - know how to express them correctly and cleanse yourself internally. Here are some ways to cleanse yourself of negativity and develop inner satisfaction:
a) Cleansing with water - take a shower (preferably cool at the end) with your head, try to escape from the circumstances pressing on you and just relax.
b) Fresh air - go outside and try to walk in a quiet, pleasant place (it's excellent to walk near a body of water: water and fresh air have a positive effect, calm you down - this is a time when you can calmly reflect on yourself and your life).
c) Get rid of old unnecessary things and conduct an audit in your home. Do the cleaning, and thus, by bringing cleanliness and comfort to the house, you put your thoughts in order.
d) Exercise. Yoga classes - asanas - have a positive effect on balance for stability and balance of mind and body. e) Listen to music for relaxation.
f) Find your own ways to be inspired and develop, don’t sit still - improve and you will see how your inner state will improve and disappointment in life will go away.
5) Remember that what is inside is what is outside. If we are happy, then we pay attention to the positive around us, if we are unhappy, then we concentrate on the negative. So, appreciate what you have, rejoice in what is given to you from above and know how to correctly cope with the lessons that are given to you for personal development.
6) Try not to get attached to results, otherwise disappointments will arise in your life again and again. Set goals, do everything that is required of you, but at the same time be prepared to accept any turn of events.
7) By doing the right thing ourselves, we set an example for others. Starting with ourselves, we will change our environment. The main thing is to develop a full-fledged and harmonious personality, become self-sufficient and then you will not depend so much on the circumstances that put pressure on you, then there will be much less disappointment in life and people. Appreciate the present and believe in a wonderful future!
_______
