Never argue with idiots: 30 ironic quotes from Mark Twain

Mark Twain: Never argue with idiots!

This is a book that Mark Twain wrote but remained unpublished. From the endless variety of his texts, we selected those thoughts, paragraphs, periods, anecdotes, entertaining stories - there were also fables that show us Mark Twain not in a new, but in his true incarnation: a moral philosopher, a sad joker “with autumn in his heart.” This is a collection not so much of witticisms as of sentences - insightful and merciless, but “with the right to pardon.” Mark Twain brings them out to the human race, to which he had the bitter pleasure of belonging. And at the same time, the great wit Mark Twain was not a skeptic, although he saw through people. The skeptic does not believe in the future - Mark Twain worked for him. In full accordance with the aphorism “the future has already arrived; it’s just not evenly distributed,” which he himself would have subscribed to, Twain used all the novelties of progress. He was one of the first to put down his pen and sit down at his typewriter. As a result, no publisher could shorten his text, citing the fact that the author’s handwriting was illegible. In his free time, he liked to write denials of his death to newspapers, something like “Rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated.” In the end, he got hold of all the editors, and they began to add to this message: “Unfortunately.” To which fans of the author all over the world today would be happy to answer: “Fortunately!” Moreover, Twain himself wrote: “I am approaching the threshold of old age; in 1977 I will be one hundred and forty-two. It’s enough to flit around the world.” And even though Twain didn’t make it to 1977, he’s still alive in 2020! How are you, Mr. Twain? Compiled by Yaskov V.

About the series The “Great Personalities” series is a library of the main works of the most legendary and outstanding representatives of different eras.
These are rulers, philosophers, artists - key figures of their time, whose thoughts and ideas still interest humanity to this day. Each book in the series contains a kind of “summary”: for each individual, excerpts from key works, aphorisms, thoughts and statements are presented. These extremely practical publications will be indispensable both for students just getting acquainted with world culture and history, and for those who want to fill in some gaps in knowledge. The convenient pocket format and soft cover will allow you to get acquainted with the cultural heritage of the greats on the way to college or work. About the book Lucius Annaeus Seneca is a famous ancient Roman statesman and Stoic philosopher, whose works influenced many famous philosophers and remain relevant to this day. Followers of Stoicism thought about man's place in the world, about the essence of law and morality, and tried to ensure that their behavior was based on moral confidence. Seneca considered himself a “healer of souls.” The treatise “On Good Deeds,” with which this book introduces the reader, is dedicated to goodness - it teaches how to perform and accept good deeds. “Let us give benefits as we would like to receive them ourselves: willingly, quickly and without any hesitation.” Hide

Witty and wise quotes from Mark Twain

Mark Twain's work covers many genres - humor, satire, philosophical fiction, journalism and others. At his peak, he was probably the most popular figure in America. William Faulkner wrote that Mark Twain was “the first truly American writer, and we have all been his heirs ever since,” and Ernest Hemingway noted that all modern American literature came from one book by Mark Twain, called “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.” "

Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn's "Papa" was not only one of the wittiest authors of all time, but also a great joker. We have collected 25 of the brightest, wisest and ironic quotes from the master of words, which combine wit, irony and wisdom:

  1. Summer is the time of year when it is very hot to do things that were very cold to do in winter.
  2. There's nothing more annoying than a good example.
  3. One who does not read good books has no advantage over a person who does not know how to read them.
  4. Any mention in the press, even the most negative, except for the obituary, is advertising.
  5. Forgiveness is the fragrance that a violet gives to those who trample it.
  6. Truth is more incredible than fiction, because fiction must stay within the bounds of plausibility, but truth does not.
  7. The best way to shake yourself up is to shake up someone else.
  8. There are three types of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics.
  9. Noise proves nothing. A hen that has laid an egg often fusses as if it had laid a small planet.
  10. Being good wears out a person so much!
  11. Dance as if no one is watching. Sing like no one can hear you. Love as if you were never betrayed and live as if the earth were heaven.
  12. Don’t be fooled into thinking that the world owes you something—it was there before you and doesn’t owe you anything.
  13. A classic is something that everyone thinks needs to be read and no one reads.
  14. The worst loneliness is when a person is uncomfortable with himself.
  15. To create man was a glorious and original idea. But to create a sheep after that meant repeating myself.
  16. I made it a rule to never smoke more than one cigarette at a time.
  17. When I was fourteen, my father was so stupid that I could hardly stand him; but when I was twenty-one years old, I was amazed at how much this old man had grown wiser in the last seven years.
  18. Man is the only animal that can blush. However, only he has to.
  19. Quitting smoking is easy. I myself have thrown a hundred times.
  20. Kindness is something that the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
  21. It’s just how the world works that a person, having stopped worrying about one thing, begins to worry about another.
  22. The only way to stay healthy is to eat what you don't like, drink what you don't like, and do what you don't want to do.
  23. There are only two things we will regret on our deathbed - that we loved little and traveled little..
  24. Avoid those who try to undermine your self-confidence. A great person, on the contrary, instills the feeling that you can become great.
  25. Anyone who does not know where they are going will be very surprised when they end up in the wrong place.
  26. Not a single improvisation comes to me as well as the one that I prepared for three days.
  27. Let's thank the fools. Without them, it would be difficult for others to succeed.
  28. When my wife and I disagree, we usually do what she wants. My wife calls it a compromise .
  29. Good friends, good books and a sleeping conscience - this is an ideal life.
  30. Pessimism is just a word that the faint of heart uses to describe wisdom.
  31. To be happy, you must live in your own paradise! Did you really think that the same paradise could satisfy all people without exception?
  32. Thousands of geniuses live and die unknown - either unrecognized by others, or unrecognized by themselves.
  33. Wrinkles should only mark places where smiles used to be.
  34. It is a pity that the serpent in paradise was not forbidden - then Adam would certainly have eaten it.
  35. Once in a lifetime, fortune knocks on every person's door, but at this time a person often sits in the nearest pub and does not hear any knock.
  36. If all people thought alike, no one would play at the races.
  37. The human brain is a magnificent thing. It works great until the minute you get up to give a speech.
  38. I have never allowed school to interfere with my education..
  39. We like people who boldly tell us what they think, as long as they think the same as we do.
  40. “Children and fools always tell the truth,” says the old saying. The conclusion is clear: adults and wise people never tell the truth.
  41. God created man because he was disappointed in the monkey. After this, he abandoned further experiments.
  42. It is better to remain silent and seem like a fool than to speak up and dispel all doubts.
  43. I've known a lot of troubles, but most of them never happened.
  44. If you need money, go to strangers; if you need advice, go to your friends; and if you don’t need anything, go to your relatives.
  45. A bank is an institution where you can borrow money if you can convince yourself that you don't need it.
  46. The truth should be served like a coat, not thrown in your face like a wet towel..
  47. People who have their own grief know how to console others.
  48. If you pick up a hungry dog, feed it and caress it, it will not bite you; This is its fundamental difference from a person.
  49. Buy land - after all, no one produces it anymore.
  50. Never argue with idiots. You will sink to their level, where they will crush you with their experience. .

The truth is not always born in a dispute

This formulation of the question is especially relevant in cases where we are talking about a dispute with narrow-minded people. “And don’t argue with a fool,” wrote A. S. Pushkin.

So why is it undesirable to argue with a fool? Yes, because he is always right! He is absolutely confident in his competence! He can’t even think that there are other opinions than his. Arguing with a stupid person will simply waste your time. You will pay with your nerve cells, your mood, and perhaps your reputation, since he will drive you to white heat and can drive you crazy, so much so that you can break into a scream and even... Let's not talk about the bad. The most important thing is to know: you cannot convince him. The customer is always right!

And don’t forget, a fool is a broad concept. He may be very literate, or understand technology better than you, or learn languages ​​with ease, but in everyday terms remain an absolute layman. And this is the most dangerous type of fool, which cannot be immediately recognized.

How to behave when arguing with an idiot?

If an argument could not be avoided, and you are already drawn into a meaningless conversation, then it is best to simply notify the person that you do not have time and it is easier to continue the conversation at another time. You should not show aggression and get angry, since in this case the argument will continue in high tones and will definitely not lead to anything good. Notify your opponent that you are tired of the conversation, offer a compromise option to resolve the problematic issue. The main mistake in an argument is that you decide to continue the argument, with full confidence that your interlocutor is an adequate person and will ultimately understand what you want to say, in this case your disappointment will know no bounds and you will bitterly regret what you started conversation.

Bottom line. You cannot argue with idiots, since this is not even an argument in the full sense, you are simply wasting your energy and eloquence in the “emptiness”, your not very smart opponents will remain with their opinion (idiots almost never change it). It is better to walk away from the argument calmly and with dignity. Now you know why you can't argue with idiots .

Can stupidity be dangerous?

Undoubtedly. First of all, because we underestimate it. It seems to us that stupid people are no match for us; they will not be able to outstrip us in the service or take away our beloved. And this is a fatal mistake. A stupid colleague will pretend that he doesn’t understand anything and doesn’t even hear when you criticize your boss or talk about your new project. In fact, he knows how to shake his head perfectly and at the right moment will report everything to your boss or even present him with the concept of your project, passing it off as his own. And you will prove that you are not a camel.

And your “stupid” girlfriend, whom you brought closer to your family out of the kindness of your heart, charmed your husband. It turns out that he needed just such a silly girl without ulterior motives. And he became tired of your overly sober attitude to life a long time ago. That's it!

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